Work Text:
Seongwoo was at Jimin’s knees, reaching out his little arms in a plea to be picked up when Jimin’s mom sighed. “Isn’t it about time you gave me another grandpup?”
Jimin bent over and lifted Seongwoo into his lap, trying to hide the way his hands trembled by wrapping his arms around his son. He breathed deeply, trying to fight the nausea churning in his stomach. Seongwoo babbled something as he leaned into Jimin’s chest and Jimin nosed at the boy’s hair, attempting to soothe himself with the pup’s milk and honey scent to keep his own from going sour. “Seongwoo is only two. Don’t tell me you’ve grown bored of him already.”
Jimin’s mother leaned back in her armchair, her dainty legs crossed at the knees. She ran a hand along the smooth leather of the chair’s arm. She did that often now, always trying to subtly draw attention to the nice things she could afford, the luxuries Jimin’s bride price had won her. At this point, the motions came to her subconsciously. “Two is a good age to start planning for another. You and your brother are two years apart, as are Jeongguk and his brother. If you wait too long they won’t have a close relationship.”
Jimin had heard something similar from countless other mothers, though he knew it wasn’t true. His friend Seokjin and his brother were five years apart, but they were the closest pair of siblings he had ever met. Meanwhile, Jimin and his own brother spoke maybe twice a year. Despite this, Jimin simply gave a soft, “I suppose.”
“Besides,” Jimin’s mother said, “you and Jeongguk have always said that you want two. I’m sure his mother is pressuring him to have an Alpha soon. With the kind of business they have, they’ll want an heir as soon as possible. You would do well not to get on your in-law’s bad side, Jimin-ah.”
Jimin hugged Seongwoo to his chest a little closer, his pup already beginning to nod off in his arms. They had taken Seongwoo to his screening just a few months ago and found out that he was an Omega. Jeongguk had been overjoyed, claiming that was what he had secretly wished for all along, wanting his pup to be as much like Jimin as possible. Jimin knew Jeongguk’s mom was expecting an Alpha from them though. She had already started dropping hints.
“Look, I know your last one was hard on you, but you can’t let that stop you from having more pups. Besides, the second one is always easier than the first.”
Jimin’s expression pinched. “Hard” was an understatement. “Traumatic” was the word he typically used. He loved his little pup more than anything, but it didn’t change the fact that he’d almost died giving birth to him. It was an experience Jimin dreaded going through again, but he couldn’t seem to make his mother understand that.
Jimin knew he must have been working himself up into an anxious mess because as soon as the large, warm hand of his Alpha petted across the back of his head he could feel the tension in his muscles begin to release. “We’re still talking about it,” Jeongguk said from where he had appeared behind the couch, evidently finished talking business with Jimin’s dad in the other room. “Jimin wants to go back to work soon, at least part-time, so that won’t be possible if he gets pregnant again.”
It was a relief, at least, to have his Alpha on his side. Jeongguk had been there at the hospital, after all, and had been left in tears all alone with their pup while Jimin was rushed into surgery. He’d suffered through months of separation anxiety afterward, unable to even go to the store or the office without texting Jimin multiple times to reassure himself his mate was okay.
Still, despite his mate’s warm reassurance, the disappointed look Jimin’s mother gave him left him feeling cold.
“I’m going to put Seongwoo down for his nap,” Jimin said, readjusting his grip on his pup so he could quickly shuffle out of the room.
When he got back from putting Seongwoo to bed, Jimin’s father and mate had settled in the living room. Jeongguk was saying something about the current stress on his business’s supply chain that Jimin’s father was paying rapt attention to, but when he saw Jimin he held out a hand for him. Jimin crossed the room, obediently giving his Alpha his hand and was pleased when Jeongguk turned it over to kiss the inside of his wrist, giving him a subtle scenting. Jimin was ready to just sit down with his mate, cuddle into his side, and listen to the soothing voices of him and his father as they talked aimlessly. Before he could though, his mother called out to him from the kitchen, asking for his help chopping vegetables. Jimin sighed as he squeezed Jeongguk’s hand before leaving for the other room.
He could tell his mother was displeased with him as soon as he stepped into the kitchen. She wouldn’t even look at him, simply waved at the cutting board and the washed vegetables sitting out on towels. Jimin said nothing as he washed his hands and removed his rings, setting them on the counter nearby so they wouldn’t get dirty. For a while, there was only the sound of the knife hitting the cutting board as Jimin began slicing radishes and his mother dug around her spice cabinet, pulling out what she needed. As the seconds passed, Jimin’s shoulders grew more and more tense, waiting for the inevitable fallout.
Finally, his mother said, “you know what kind of position your father and I are in.”
Jimin tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. “I do.”
“We can’t take care of you if your Alpha decides to leave you. And what kind of prospects do you think you’d have? If the Jeons turn their nose up at you, word will get out and no one else will want you. Especially with an Omega pup to take care of.”
Jimin’s grip on the knife tightened. “Jeongguk wouldn’t leave me,” he said softly.
“Well, you’re certainly not doing anything to make him stay,” his mother snapped. “Really, Jimin. You’d deny your Alpha another pup just to do your little dances?”
Jimin’s bottom lip wobbled and he bit down on it to keep it still. “I like my job,” Jimin protested, but it sounded weak. In truth, he loved his job. Staying home with Seongwoo had been amazing, but sometimes he wanted to feel like he was worth more than just a good mother and a good mate. When he worked as a choreographer, he could create things that other people loved, that they saw value in. He wanted that part of his life back, even if it wasn’t full-time.
Jimin’s mother started opening spices and measuring them out into a bowl, her movements sharp and agitated. “When you and Jeongguk mated, you agreed to at least two pups. If you can’t give him that, he has grounds for a divorce. You know how these things go, Jimin. If he leaves you, you’re on your own.”
Jimin shoved the knife through a radish with more force than was necessary. “I understand.”
-
Really the problem hadn’t been with Seongwoo’s actual delivery. He had been two days earlier than expected, but he was a healthy weight and had been born with a strong set of lungs. Jimin’s labor had progressed normally, letting him fight through the early, tamer contractions at home in his nest before Jeongguk had taken them to the birthing suite he had arranged for at the hospital. Jimin had been mobile during his labor, moving into different positions to help alleviate some pain, even taking a bath at one point to help soothe his aching muscles. Jeongguk had trailed after him the entire time, always ready to offer support when Jimin needed to bend over or to massage his back when the cramps made him cry. When it was finally time to deliver Seongwoo, Jeongguk had been right there with him, watching everything so Jimin could just close his eyes and focus on working his body through the process.
The problem had come when Jimin was delivering the placenta. By now, he could only remember bits and pieces of the event. He remembered that Seongwoo was with a nurse, off being washed and weighed at the time. He remembered the pain being so bad he couldn’t even scream, that he could barely even get his lungs to work as it felt like his insides were being torn out. He remembered, after a few frantic shouts from the nurses, how Jeongguk had been on top of him, not letting him see what was going on as he clutched at Jimin’s head and shoulders from where he stood next to the bed. He had been shaking nearly as much as Jimin, openly crying as he frantically scented him. Even now, he couldn’t get Jeongguk to talk about what he had seen. No one could.
When Jimin woke up from surgery, his son was in the hospital nursery, and a red-eyed Jeongguk was by his side. Later, a nurse would inform him that Jeongguk had been awake for nearly thirty-six hours, so they were happy to make the room’s couch into a bed for him. At the time though, Jeongguk had just kissed the tips of his fingers and told him that he was never more grateful that the two of them shared the same blood type. According to his doctor, when he was checking up on Jimin a few hours later, it had been a constant struggle to get enough blood into him to replace what he was losing. Multiple times he had nearly bled out on the table.
His hospital stay had stretched on for days. Days of being unable to take care of his son as he remained bedridden. At first he couldn’t even hold Seongwoo without Jeongguk’s help, and so often he cried tears of frustration and helplessness as he had to watch other people take care of his baby.
Ever since Seongwoo, he’d become intimately familiar with the feeling of helplessness. He felt it now, four weeks out from his latest heat with a positive pregnancy test lying dauntingly on his and Jeongguk’s bed. He’d put Seongwoo down for a nap twenty minutes ago, and for the last ten, ever since the results had shown on the test stick, he had been pacing around his and Jeongguk’s room. He would have to tell Jeongguk as soon as he saw him. He knew he probably reeked of distress, and Jeongguk always found out what was wrong one way or another, and… and Jimin didn’t want to lose his Alpha. Not because Jeongguk took care of him financially, but because he loved him. Jeongguk was his partner, his steady rock, his mate. Jimin would do anything to keep his mate. Even though this pregnancy was an accident, a failure of his birth control, if Jeongguk wanted another pup, and Jimin wanted Jeongguk…
A knock against the doorframe startled him and Jimin jumped as he turned to face his mate. Jeongguk was standing hesitantly in the doorway, his tie pulled loose around his neck and his brows furrowed as his nostrils flared, taking in Jimin’s distressed scent.
Jimin shifted on his feet. “You’re home early.”
“Where’s Seongwoo?” Jeongguk asked first.
“Sleeping in his room.”
Jeongguk carefully looked him over, likely searching for any sort of injury, and Jimin wrapped his arms around himself at the scrutiny. “What’s wrong?”
Jimin swallowed. If he didn’t work up the courage now he never would. “I’m pregnant.”
Jeongguk froze. His eyes locked with Jimin’s, but Jimin couldn’t read anything from his expression. The room was silent, but Jimin could barely breathe through it, finally demanding, “say something.”
“I- um…” Jeongguk floundered. Jimin tried to scent the air, but he couldn’t pick up any strong emotions from his mate. “I’m not sure what to say.”
Jimin’s nails dug into the meat of his palms. “Aren’t you happy?”
Jeongguk’s head tilted to the side. “I don’t know. Are… you happy?”
Jimin felt like his throat was closing up. “I’m happy if you’re happy.”
Jeongguk frowned. “Jimin, do you want to be pregnant?”
Jimin shook his head, his breath coming quicker. “This isn’t about me. I’m asking you.”
“What are you talking about?” Jeongguk asked, bewildered. “Of course it’s about you. If you changed your mind about having more kids that’s fine, but what do you want?”
Jimin opened his mouth but no sound came out. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t push his Alpha away. He let out a small whimper. He couldn’t live without his Alpha.
Jeongguk quickly crossed the room, his hands coming up to cup Jimin’s cheeks. “Hey,” he said, so soft and gentle. “What’s wrong?” Calming pheromones quickly spread through the room, cocooning Jimin in Jeongguk’s fresh basil scent. On reflex his body started to relax, easing tension off his back and shoulders. “Please talk to me, baby. Please tell me what’s going through your head. You’re my first priority, always. Okay? You’re shaking, baby. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Jimin’s expression crumpled and he choked on a sob. “I’m so scared, Gguk.” His knees gave out from under him, and Jeongguk helped shuffle him back to the bed so he could sit down. Jimin’s head fell into his hands. He couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. “I don’t want to be pregnant. I’m so fucking scared. I can’t go through that again. I can’t, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Alpha.” He was crying in earnest now, his head between his knees as he was consumed by his fear.
“Hey, hey, shh. It’s okay,” Jeongguk cooed as he dropped to his knees. He shoved himself between Jimin’s thighs, pulling Jimin in by his shoulders so he was cradled against Jeongguk’s chest. He ran a hand through Jimin’s hair, rocking him just slightly as he shushed him. “Everything’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna fix it, alright? You don’t have to worry, Alpha’s gonna fix everything. Don’t be scared, baby, please. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”
Jimin nodded as he burrowed into Jeongguk’s neck, deeply breathing in his mate’s scent. Jeongguk had promised him years ago that he would always keep Jimin safe. How could he have forgotten?
-
The trip to the clinic had been awful. Jimin had been an anxious mess the entire time, despite how both Jeongguk and the nurse had tried to calm him down. Now he was curled up in the passenger seat of Jeongguk’s car, teary-eyed from cramps and one hand clutching at his stomach as it churned with nausea. Jeongguk held his other hand in a tight grip, occasionally bringing it up to his lips to press kisses to Jimin’s skin.
“Is there anything you need, baby?” Jeongguk asked. “We can stop by the store. I’ll go get it for you.”
Jimin sniffled. “Can we get some ginger ale? I don’t think we have any at home.”
“Of course, love. Is there anything else you need?”
Jimin shook his head. “I’ll take some ibuprofen when we get home and lay on my heating pad.” He sniffed again. “I do want my pup though.”
Jeongguk softly cooed and kissed Jimin’s hand again. “I’ll video call Yoongi once we get home. He texted me earlier and told me that Seongwoo had gotten into Namjoon’s stuffed Ryan collection, but that Joon was being a good sport about it.”
Jimin hummed. “I hope he’s not causing too much damage.”
“Yoongi said it’s just some baby spit. Nothing the washing machine won’t fix.”
When Jeongguk pulled up to the store, he left the car running for Jimin, leaving with a kiss to his forehead and a promise to be right back. Jimin scrolled through his phone as he waited, trying to keep himself from thinking too hard. He answered a few texts, one from Taehyung telling him to get better soon, another from Yoongi with a picture of Seongwoo with banana all over his face attached. One was from his mom. He’d had to beg off a social engagement, claiming he wasn’t feeling well. She’d responded that if he was nauseous she could bring over a pregnancy test. Jimin texted back that he was fine, that it was just a cough. The last thing he needed was for her to show up at his house.
Jimin dropped his phone to breathe through another heavy wave of nausea. He felt like shit - in more ways than one. He just wanted to curl up in his nest and cease to exist for a little while.
He looked up when Jeongguk’s door opened and the Alpha slid into the car. In one hand he had a plastic bag, heavy with bottles of ginger ale. In the other, he had something long and thin wrapped in white tissue paper. Once he had closed his door and settled in, he presented the unknown object to Jimin. A single rose.
Jimin’s breath caught in his throat. He gently took the flower from Jeongguk’s hand, holding it close to his chest as he sniffed the delicate petals.
“There was a flower display by the door,” Jeongguk explained. “I thought… well, I thought of you.”
Jimin’s bottom lip trembled. He brought a hand to his eyes but he couldn’t hold back the tears. They spilled over his cheeks as he let out a sob.
Jeongguk’s scent spiked with distress. “No, wait, I didn’t want you to cry. I’m sorry, I-”
“No, no,” Jimin said. He took one of Jeongguk’s outstretched hands, which he had been too hesitant to place on Jimin’s leg, into his own. “I’m crying because I love you.”
Jeongguk deflated, and Jimin could see his own eyes shining with unshed tears. “I love you too. I just- I just want you to be happy. I know this is hard, but… you mean everything to me, Jimin. I love our son, but I’d have been fine never having any pups if it meant I got to have you. I’d do anything to make sure you’re safe and happy with me.”
Jimin leaned forward, and Jeongguk ducked his head until their foreheads were resting together. Jimin did his best to sniffle through his tears as he said, “I am. I promise I am. I never want to be anywhere else than by your side, Alpha.”
Jeongguk cupped Jimin’s cheeks, doing his best to dry his tears with his thumbs. “You never have to be.”