Chapter Text
Things had been different between the two of them, since Sodden. At first neither woman knew if the other had picked up on the nearly imperceptible change in their relationship. A lingering touch while sharing a story over dinner, or a held gaze that lasted just too long to be purely platonic during one of their countless meetings. In the weeks following Yennefer’s return to Aretuza, neither Yennefer nor Tissaia found themselves without the company of the other for longer than a day at most.
During the painstaking mental and physical healing process for both mages, it wasn’t difficult to be close to one another. After the moment they had shared on that hill, neither found it necessary to try to explain the pull they had felt toward each other. Having thought Yennefer was lost forever for over a month, Tissaia in particular didn’t blink twice at the thought of having the other mage around. It was only as the weeks slowly turned to months that they had begun to make excuses to be in each other’s company. Yennefer had stubbornly claimed the importance of staying at Aretuza to ensure no one took advantage of Tissaia while the lingering dimeritium still pounded in her blood, even after all this time. Tissaia, on the other hand, made sure to let the other mages know Yennefer had always, and will always, have a place to call home in these magical walls for her heroic acts during the battle.
Neither was particularly keen to admit their actual feelings about the matter: there was no excuse necessary, they had simply wanted each other’s company. There was no point pretending otherwise when it was just the two of them, they were too far gone in the pull they seemed to have for the other. That didn’t mean either was willing to voice it, though.
It was only when about 3 moons passed that it became harder to avoid the questioning stares and murmurs from others. Both had healed, and memories of the battle had begun to fade from the minds of the other mages residing in the great halls. Yennefer had found it harder to ward off the questions from the lingering men endlessly running into her in the hallways, and Tissaia was beginning to struggle to answer Stregobor and Artorius’ never-ending complaints about the violet-eyed mage residing among them.
Perhaps this is what led them both to reluctantly agree to Vilgefortz’s suggestion to send Yennefer as an envoy to Toussaint for an upcoming ball. When the matter was first discussed, Tissaia was quick to come to Yennefer’s defence, arguing she would never be interested in such trivial political affairs. It was to her surprise when Yennefer chimed in that she would be willing to make the 3 week journey if needed, and just like that the matter was settled. Tissaia had quickly snapped her head towards Yennefer after hearing this response, gawking at the calm in her voice. It was only when she met Yennefer’s uneasy gaze but calm, almost shy, smile that she realized the woman was serious in her willingness to take this matter on.
As the other mages began filing out of the room, Tissaia was pleased to see Yennefer hadn’t moved an inch from her spot, resting her hands against the large table and lost in thought. Seemingly unwilling to meet Tissaia’s eyes, she slowly began to make her way toward the raven-haired woman. Still unable to catch her attention, Tissaia slowly placed her hand on the other woman’s arm, lightly playing the fabric of her sleeve. It was then that the two made eye contact, and it seemed much was being said without any words.
“Are you sure about this Yennefer?”, Tissaia asked, “You know I would never ask you to do something you don’t wish to do”.
“I know. That’s exactly why I want to do this,” Yennefer quietly explained, “for you.”
Tissaia quickly took her hand back, returning to her usual poised position. Suddenly finding it difficult to swallow, she nodded her head.
“Very well. I imagine this means you’ll be gone by morning.”
At the sudden change of tone in her voice, Yennefer shifted sideways against the table so her body was fully facing Tissaia’s. “My my, Rectoress. No need to go on about how much you’ll miss me”, she teased.
Despite Yennefer’s endearing words, Tissaia couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Instead she clasped her hands even tighter against her torso, nervously picking at her fingers. Seeing how she was struggling to meet her gaze, Yennefer softly pulled her hands apart before apologizing.
“I’m sorry, I’m only teasing. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
Tissaia snapped her head up, “You could never make me uncomfortable, Yenna.”
Despite how close they had gotten, the use of a nickname was still very much new. The air in the empty room had suddenly begun to feel heavy, and both women had noticed their inability to find the following words to say. It seemed both were too stubborn to admit how they would truly miss the other, but still neither moved an inch.
A moment passed, then two, and realizing Yennefer’s hand was still gently placed over her own, Tissaia decided to act. “Come, then,” pulling Yennefer along with her, “let me send you off with a proper evening full of good wine at the very least.”
Yennefer gulped at Tissaia’s suggestion. This wouldn’t be the first, or even the tenth, time the two of them had shared an evening alone in Tissaia’s chambers, sharing dinner, tales, and quiet comfort between each other in front of a roaring fire. But something felt different about this time, nonetheless. Yennefer would never admit it out loud, but everything about their blossoming friendship (relationship?) had felt new to her. She was an expert at flirting, seduction, and even the occasional courtship, but something about Tissaia had always disarmed her. Part of her wasn’t even sure where she had wanted their connection to go, unsure how to categorize her own feelings. She was no blushing maid, however, so she nodded her head and followed the shorter woman along the path to her rooms without exchanging another word.
Tissaia’s heartbeat had slowly picked up on their walk - Yennefer’s hand still being clasped in hers certainly didn’t help. The two of them weren’t new to this type of unspoken intimacy, having built since they shared their first embrace the night Yennefer confessed the loss of her magic. As her chaos slowly began to return to her over time, both mages began to notice the quiet stir between their touches. Even so, tonight’s felt particularly different. Tissaia could feel Yennefer’s chaos swirling even more so than usual, unspoken thoughts and words lingering beneath her skin. A part of her worried that Yennefer could feel the same inevitably brewing in her.
As much as neither would ever admit it, they both knew the next 3 weeks apart would be impossibly difficult. Had Tissaia thought this even a year ago, she would have scoffed at her own feelings. Decades without so much as a word from the other, and suddenly she felt queasy at the thought of the purple-eyed mage being gone for less than a moon? She would roll her eyes at herself if it weren’t for the hammering in her chest and drop in her stomach at the thought of being apart from Yennefer.
Unbeknownst to Tissaia, Yennefer’s own thoughts on the matter weren’t much better. She barely even registered the tug of her hand from the Rectoress pulling her across the fortress, too distracted by her own questions. Why on earth had she agreed to this? Not only could she care less to spend 3 weeks of her life travelling to another land over some ball that would bore her to death, but she hadn’t even considered how difficult it would be without Tissaia when she had agreed. All she had thought at that moment was how she wanted to please the other woman, and lighten the burden of her responsibilities even if only a little. Now she was truly beginning to regret her decision, feeling the warmth of the other mage’s chaos pushing closely against her own.
Once they finally reached the door to her chambers, both women entered still without another word. Suddenly this had all felt so new, as if they hadn’t done this dozens of times before and had a full routine by now. Tissaia would fetch the glasses from her cabinet while Yennefer would search for a bottle of her choosing before the two of them would settle in their respective areas. This time, both had been frozen on the spot, simply looking at the other.
Tissaia finally broke the silence, unsure where this sudden nervousness between the two had come from. “Go ahead and sit. I’ll fetch us some of the bottle you brought last week.” She decided even a moment away from the raven-haired woman would give her some time to breathe and sort her thoughts. She was the Rectoress of Aretuza, one of the most powerful mages on the continent. She could handle sharing a comfortable night in with the woman she’s grown to know so well.
Once their glasses had been poured and they had found their usual seats, Yennefer in her armchair and Tissaia on her chaise longue across from her, they each took a deep breath, Yennefer’s accompanied by a rather large gulp of wine.
“Well, the good news is I’ll have lots of time to find the best bottles of wine the continent has to offer. We’ll have to celebrate with a good vintage once I return.” Yennefer said, finally breaking the silence.
Tissaia couldn’t help but softly smile at the other woman. One of her favourite parts of the other mage was her appreciation for the finer things in life, and her affinity for sharing them with her. This had been a rather surprising discovery over the months of their blossoming relationship - Yennefer’s willingness to open up this part of herself to the smaller woman. Given their rocky past, this was never something Tissaia had expected, and wonders if Yennefer knows how much this means to her.
She decided then that this was the same woman she has known all along, and there was no reason for her to shy away just because they would be apart for a few weeks. It was only Yennefer, after all.
“I will, you know”, she whispered. At Yennefer’s confused look, she continued, “miss you.”
Yennefer opened and closed her mouth, seemingly unable to find the right words. While she was usually quick to make a snarky (or suggestive) comeback, she didn’t want to scare Tissaia off after the other woman finally seemed willing to admit this thing between them.
Luckily for Yennefer, Tissaia decided to continue on. Laying down more comfortably and kicking her feet up, never breaking eye contact from the fire, she slowly sipper her wine before speaking again.
“I know it may seem silly, a few weeks is nothing to mages like us. But I will admit these walls will feel much emptier without you.”
“I promise you’ll barely notice I’m gone. Besides, I’m sure you could use a bit of peace and quiet without me badgering on around you all the time.” Yennefer answered with a slight smirk.
Hearing Tissaia’s soft snort in response was enough to turn her smirk into a proper wide smile. Having built up the courage, Yennefer slowly rose from her seat, put down her wine goblet, and made her way over to where Tissaia lounged. In the soft glow of the fire, Tissaia’s sharp features were dampened serenely in a way that pulled a quiet sigh from Yennefer’s lips as she curled up beside her.
“I’ll miss you too,” Yennefer said, “Gods know how I’ll keep my composure in that room full of idiots without that stick up your ass keeping me in check.”
Tissaia couldn’t help the eye roll and soft kick across the chaise that came along with the other woman’s cheeky confession.
Yennefer was quick to grab her bare ankle to stop any further assaults, and the two women fell into silence as Yennefer stroked the soft skin there. Both mages had noticed the gradual movement of their bodies toward each other, but neither wanted to ruin the moment.
Feeling emboldened by the wine, Tissaia decided to reach up and run her fingers through one of Yennefer’s loose strands of wavy hair. Taking another sip from her goblet and deciding to finally reach the other woman’s violet eyes, her hand continued across her clavicle before finally resting her palm against her heartbeat. Had it not been for the continued touches to her ankle and slowly up her calf, Tissaia would think Yennefer looked as still as a statue. Although, the racing heartbeat she felt below her hand very clearly gave her true feelings away.
Had it been anyone else, Yennefer wouldn’t hesitate to push forward and capture Tissaia’s lips, even if this was a line they hadn’t crossed before. But that was the thing about the two of them: it wasn’t just anyone. This was Tissaia, Archmistress of Magic, Rectoress of Aretuza. The most powerful woman in the world. The person Yennefer would come running back to no matter where she was on this continent. The tension that had been building between the two had almost reached a point of no return, and out of respect for the woman in front of her Yennefer decided now would be the best time to retire for the evening.
With one final squeeze, Yennefer was ready to bid her farewell until her return. As she shuffled up to leave, Tissaia couldn’t help but frantically ask if she wanted to stay the night. As out of character as it was, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet.
Bringing one of her hands to rest on the other woman’s sharp cheekbone, Yennefer couldn’t help herself from slowly running her thumb across Tissaia’s bottom lip.
“I need to leave you something to look forward to, don’t I?”