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It starts so innocently. They’re in the early days of connecting, having somewhat awkward late night fast food breaks in Lena’s office. The air is still thick with an unspoken uncertainty - can they trust each other? Can Lena speak freely without her words being plastered across every headline? Can any one person consume as many cheeseburgers in one sitting as Kara routinely does? There are no clear answers.
One of those innocent, curious nights is when it first begins.
The sun has long since set and what sparse work remains feels more like an excuse to stay near each other than a necessary task. Eventually, the excuses to stay run dry and they agree it's time to call it a night.
As much as Lena enjoys spending time with Kara, this is the moment she treasures most: their departing hug. Lena loves hugs but rarely has the pleasure of them, so having a friend willing to touch her has become such a delight. One of the few delights she will allow herself.
And Lena is no expert on hugs, but she does know the basic mechanics - one face sliding one way while the other faces away, letting two bodies fit smoothly into place. It’s not complicated, even for someone as touch starved as her.
Only this time, no one seems able to figure out just where the faces would go. Lena looks left as Kara looks right, causing a near bump and an awkward giggle between them. They both course correct to face the other way, their noses and cheeks brushing. Another awkward giggle. Naturally, without any thought or intention, their faces drift back into neutral. Nose to nose, eyes locked, arms around each other’s waist.
It was an accident, of course, but then how could they not kiss?
It’s fast, more of a peck than a press. It clearly catches both of them off guard.
Lena jumps back from Kara like she’s shocked her.
“Uh,” Lena says, and then nothing. Kara looks at her expectantly for a moment before letting out a long, decisive hmmm. And then she leaves.
Lena has no concept of how long she stands in her office afterwards, frozen. Like moving might make the moment real, might make her move forward into a devastating future. This friendship has ended as quickly as it began.
She ignores the tingle in her lips and fingertips.
Nothing happens. The more cynical side of Lena had anticipated some public reveal, some eye-catching clickbait about Lena’s scandalous affair with a reporter. The small, almost hopeful side had hoped for some positive acknowledgement. A text, an email, an overnighted love letter waiting on her desk.
Instead, she gets silence. For days.
Every day that passes without word from Kara eats at her soul. It’s not a surprise, of course, but knowing a terrible pain is coming does not lessen its impact.
And then, just as quickly, Kara returns.
“I am so, so sorry,” she says first thing as she paces around Lena’s office, wringing her hands. “I did not mean to ghost you like that, I swear. I didn’t have a choice. This… thing came up with my cousin. I can’t really explain it, but it was a big emergency, and we ended up somewhere with no cell service.”
There are secrets in what she’s saying. Kara’s deliberate obfuscation is as subtle as a brick in a window, but it doesn’t matter. Kara came back. She’s apologizing, she’s smiling at Lena, she’s pulling her towards the couch and sitting close. She’s talking to her like their entire friendship wasn’t ruined by a wildly inappropriate kiss. So what if she isn’t fully transparent? She’s here. She came back.
It’s perfect.
Their next kiss is somewhat easier to process, as Kara is the one who initiates.
It’s been weeks now since the unacknowledged incident, and Lena truly had pushed it from her thoughts for the most part. Being constantly harassed by Lex-loving and Lex-loathing zealots takes its toll on the psyche, and one fever-dream indiscretion easily slips into the background.
The anti-Luthor outrage has reached a fever pitch as of late, culminating in a particularly climactic day where she was booed out of a press conference in which she was announcing a donation to a children’s hospital and, as she was escaping the heckling crowds, pelted with eggs.
It’s not bullets, at least. Things could have been much worse. She tells herself as much as she sits alone in her office, pulling eggshell from her hair. It could have been worse.
One of them hit just below her eye, far enough away to seemingly not cause damage but close enough to bruise. She should probably see an optometrist in the morning to be safe, but the only thing she has the energy for now is cleaning herself up and crying.
Her sad scrubbing is interrupted by the door bursting open.
It’s Kara.
“Miss Luthor,” her assistant says, out of breath and panting two paces behind Kara. “I tried to stop her, but she’s so fast.”
“It’s fine,” Lena says, a little stunned. “Kara Danvers is always welcome in my office.”
Her words seem to stun them all, but Kara is quick to recover. She rushes to Lena’s side, falling to a knee and reaching hesitant hands out towards her face. Close, but not touching. There is so much concern and fury in her eyes that Lena doesn’t know what to do with, so she tries to cut the tension by saying,
“At least they weren’t hard-boiled. Would have been less of a mess but more of a headache.”
She’s trying to laugh, to somehow lighten the darkness in Kara’s eyes, but it all falls flat when Kara’s fingers gently glide down her face to wipe at yolk. Her touch lingers at the bruise.
“You didn’t deserve this,” Kara says, like it hurts her just to say it. Tears form in Lena’s eyes without her consent.
“You’re about the only one who thinks so. Maybe I do, honestly,” she says in a whisper. How could she not deserve it?
Kara’s reaction is instant. Her hands falling flat and firm against Lena’s face, pulling her close.
“Don’t ever say that,” she says with a fire Lena’s never seen in her before, looking almost like Supergirl scowling at an adversary. “Don’t ever say you deserve bad things.”
Lena scoffs.
“I think we can all agree that-“
And just like that, her words are caught between them as Kara presses a firm kiss to her lips. They stay frozen for just a moment, and Lena’s half expecting her to pull back and flee again only to be surprised when Kara moves to kiss her again, and again, and again. Small kisses that go on long enough for all pity and self-loathing to fade into a soothing background buzz in her mind.
It’s some time later that Kara finally pulls back, and Lena can hardly focus on her through hazy eyes. She can see the mussed hair and reddened lips, and the sight almost has her leaning in again. Any move on her part is stopped, though, by Kara sticking her fingers in her own mouth to dig around before pulling something out to show her.
“Got a little shell,” she states, holding up the little piece for Lena to see.
They both burst into laughter, and Lena laughs harder and longer than she has in a long time.
Again, it goes unacknowledged.
Lena is starting to recognize this pattern as it comes, to fall into the familiar routine of kiss-and-no-tell. It becomes just another component of her strange and wonderful friendship. A way of sharing connection and, in some ways, communication. It conveys comfort when Lena is low, celebration when things are well. There is so much left unspoken, and yet Lena’s never felt closer to someone before.
Lena’s spent most of her life pursuing science and higher pursuits, and as such, modern pop culture has been lost on her. So when she receives an exclusive invitation to an early screening of some new film, her first inclination is to just toss it in the trash. Thankfully, Kara’s there to intervene.
“Lena!” she practically yells, grabbing the tickets up. “Holy crap, this is so cool, do you know how cool this is?”
“I’m guessing so cool.”
“Yeah! Exactly! We gotta go, can we go? Not to assume you’d give me a ticket. You probably have someone else you can go with, obviously, I just- if you were looking for someone, I mean-”
“Kara,” she cuts off with a smile. “Would you like to go with me?”
“I would be honored,” she says with a smile so sweet it makes Lena’s teeth ache to see it.
Kara spends the ride to the venue catching Lena up on the entire cinematic discography of the film’s director, who is apparently a favorite of Kara’s. It seems that this film is not set for public release for another three months, which makes this viewing paramount. Kara is practically buzzing in her excitement. Lena is thrilled she can give this to her.
They sit in the audience together and it’s wonderful. Kara is so excited and keeps whispering in her ear details about the film. Lena loves every moment of it; or she does, at least, until she starts to notice the looks they’re getting. Noticing the whispers and the glances back.
It’s a terrible spot to be in, because she loves every moment Kara is pressed against her, whispering in her ear. She loves the excitement she has for this movie, for sharing that joy with Lena. But the looks are increasing around them from all of these people whose opinions of her are already so low and who she has spent months trying to earn favor with. So despite her deepest desires to listen to Kara speak until the end of time, she knows she has to divert her.
She tries a few times by engaging less, by whispering “perhaps we should-“ only for Kara to see something else that has her near jumping for joy. On and on she battles within, the anxiety pressing ever firmer in her head, pulsating and boiling up until it snaps when, just as Kara is leaning towards her to whisper about the symbolism behind this particular character, Lena turns quickly to silence her with a fast, hard kiss. It lasts just a few moments that drip into a lifetime. Finally, she pulls back.
“Hey,” Lena whispers, and her words feel heavy in her throat. “Let’s talk about this after, hm?”
Kara’s face is so red, she’s almost glowing. She doesn’t say another word until the show is over.
The drive home is different. Tense in a way that has Lena’s hair standing on end. Kara is uncharacteristically still and seems determined not to make eye contact with her. Somehow she has gone from talking nonstop about this film to utter silence. Lena hasn’t felt this afraid since her last assassination attempt.
She has to try something.
“Did,” she says, and Kara jolts in shock at her words. Lena has to pause a moment to clear her throat. “Did you like it?”
Kara turns towards her with such earnest zeal.
“So much! I like it so much, every time.”
“Every time?”
“Yes, always. I love it. Even when I got egg in my mouth I loved it. I just didn’t know how to talk about it, and I didn’t want to freak you out but now you want to talk about it so we can totally talk about it. Let’s talk about it.”
Lena can only imagine the face she’s making right now.
“Talk about… it,” Lena says, like a fool.
“Yeah. I’m ready to talk about… the kisses,” she whispers that last part like it’s a dangerous secret. Lena can’t stop staring. Words come slow to her.
“And you said you… loved it. Every time. The kisses.”
“I really do. I love it so much.” Kara leans her head back against the headrest and stares at her with what can only be described as unbridled affection. It’s something Lena’s never experienced before in her life. “How do you feel about it?”
There are no words to be found in a moment like this, for something as powerful as this. She tries for a few moments, mouth opening and closing without much sound, before deciding.
She leans forward, languid with lidded eyes, and kisses her.
What better answer could there be than that.