Chapter Text
Galadriel should have known this would not be an easy fight. Should have recognized when the small village on the outskirts of Pelargir sent for help, it would not be a quick victory. If she would have trusted her instincts, there were many things she would have done differently this morning. She would have made sure to grab her armor; not just the most accessible one from the main hall. She would have made sure to tell Elrond how much he meant to her. Would have thanked Arondir for his friendship. Would have told Halbrand how much she loved him.
A sardonic smile twisted her lips at that thought. When she was young, she was filled with scorn when she thought of men. Mainly due to Lúthien and Beren and the havoc their relationship caused. An Elf that had fallen in love with a mortal man. And not only that, but she loved the man so much, she sacrificed her immortality for the chance to be with him. She recalled the confusion she felt, at how Lúthien loved him that much to give up the gift of immortality. How that confusion changed to loathing as her brother sacrificed for them to have a chance to be together. After that, she vowed to herself to steer clear of mortal men. That she would never let a man affect her so. And for the longest time, she never worried about them. Never worried about becoming too invested in their world. She deemed it a ridiculous notion that she would ever feel for a man the way Lúthien did.
It was not so ridiculous now
Now, as she gutted an Orc and caught sight of Halbrand across the battlefield. As she watched him lose his sword. As it fell just enough out of his reach. As any help was too far away. As she was too far away. As her heart crawled into her throat when the Dark Elves behind him raised their swords, prepared to deliver the killing blow.
No, there was nothing ridiculous about this. Not when she was about to witness Halbrand be executed.
Halbrand, who saved her. From both enemies, and from herself. Who believed in her. Followed her into hell and back again when no one else would. Halbrand, who had never feared to tell her his opinions. Who had desired to flee his destiny, but had returned and given his people a hope and a home they had lost. Halbrand, with his eyes that contained forests speckled with sunlight. With his carefree smile that crinkled his eyes. Whose arms were a safe haven she never knew she could find outside of Valinor. Halbrand, who brought her peace as no one else has. As she believed no one ever would.
Halbrand. Whom she loved. More than she imagined she would ever love anyone.
She would not lose him.
Her frantic eyes swept the battlefield and took in all that was around her. The two Orcs and a Warg that closed in on her. The distance between her and the ravine behind her. A bow a ways in front of her; discarded by a fallen villager.
She closed her eyes for a split second and visualized how this would play out. It would work. It would be painful, but she could endure it. She could do this. She had to do this.
Three seconds.
Her eyes snapped open as she threw her sword into the first orc. Dropped into a forward roll and snatched the bow.
Two seconds
She stood and knocked the first arrow. Watched as it flew through the air into the head of the first Dark Elf.
One second
She aimed at the second Elf, arrow already knocked and released as it nailed its intended target. Watched as that gave Halbrand enough time to grab his sword and run it through the Orc that closed in on him.
He was safe.
Zero
Arondir screamed her name as the Orc’s blade pierced through her shoulder. A hit she expected. She dropped the bow, pain flaring in her shoulder, as she flipped her brother’s dagger into her hand. Arched the blade upward to slice through the Orc’s neck before it attempted to stab her again.
What she hadn’t accounted for was the third Orc that hung on the opposite side of the Warg. Didn’t account for the chain it wielded and tried to wrap around her neck. How it instead, caught on her injured arm as he swung it and pulled back, prompting a scream as her shoulder was wrenched from its socket. How she was forced to defend herself from more Orcs as they swarmed her; as if they sensed her brief vulnerability. How a stray arrow tore through the Warg’s face, causing it to careen toward the ravine.
In the moment, she knew she was going to fall. She focused on securing her hold. She needed to use the Warg and other Orcs as a cushion to prevent further damage to her shoulder. She barely heard someone yelling over the pounding in her ears and the screams of an Orc as it dove toward her. Only felt the ground give away as she fell. As she tucked herself as small as she could and kept her dagger out.
Halbrand was safe she told herself. Now she just needed to stay alive too.
Or she knew he would never forgive her.
□ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □
Halbrand was not having a good day. What was supposed to be a small skirmish with Orcs had descended into a frenzied brawl as another pack of Orcs with Dark Elves joined the fight. They had managed to rescue most of the villagers, so he was pleased with that. He was irritated however, with how the rest of the day was panning out.
His first grievance of the day, was he had become separated from Galadriel. It was an unspoken rule between them; they stayed together. But between being forced to split up to help evacuate more people and then the chaos on the field, he hadn’t yet reached her side. He glimpsed her throughout the fight; awed as she fought with a honed lethality only she possessed. She looked like an avenging angel; as sunlight reflected off her hair and black blood streaked her armor.
He on the other hand, had never felt so pathetic; which brought him to his second grievance. He had been disarmed. They had not expected there to be more Dark Elves like Adar amongst the Uruk; and they were proving quite the challenge. He had kicked one down and went for the killing blow, when a second Dark Elf appeared out of nowhere, ripped his sword from him and body slammed him to the ground. Dazed, he tried to reach for his sword, but knew it was futile. It was too far away. He snarled as he tried to push the Elf’s leg off him. He may be about to die, but he would go down fighting.
Just as the Elf prepared his downward swing; between one blink and the next, two arrows sliced through the air. The Dark Elves had startled expressions on their faces as they dropped their swords and fell. Arrows lodged though their skulls. He quickly snatched his sword and stabbed the Orc who attempted to take advantage of him being defenseless. He only felt relief for one moment, before a terrifying cry echoed over the battlefield.
“GALADRIEL!”
His heart stuttered in his chest as he frantically scanned the field for her. He spotted her, just as an Orc drove their sword through her shoulder. Noise faded around him as the Orc ripped the blade from her, as her blood mixed with her enemies as it dripped down her armor. Realized he was already moving toward her as she swiped her dagger across its throat. Was relieved, thinking that Orc was the only reason for Arondir’s cry.
He was wrong.
Fear rushed through him as he noticed the Warg that drew closer to her; a third Orc hidden on its other side. As the Orc sneered and pulled out a metal chain. A chain. As if to bind and take his Elf. Time seemed to slow down as it swung the chain. As she twisted away from it, still trying to defend herself from other Orcs. Watched in horror as the chain caught her injured arm as the Orc yanked back. As the motion messily dislocated her shoulder with a crack. As her pained cry filled his ears.
Rage boiled his blood as he screamed for her. He charged toward her, yelling for Arondir and Elrond. He threw a spear and skewered two Orcs trying to charge at her. Never slowed down as he slayed Orc after Orc. Never took his eyes off her as he dodged swords and spears and arrows. Elrond yelled in alarm and he turned just in time to see an Orc release an arrow at Galadriel. Saw the trajectory was off as it caught the Warg in the face. As the Warg shrieked and drifted toward the ravine.
no…
Rage and anger bled into panic as he watched the Warg stumble closer to the cliff. As the Orc with the chain became caught in the saddle. As Galadriel couldn’t take time to free herself without making her more vulnerable to the many Orcs that surrounded her. Barely heard Arondir and Elrond yelling as he bolted toward her.
Felt panic morph into terror as he realized he wasn’t fast enough.
He roared her name as she tumbled off the edge. As the last rays of sun caught in her hair, casting her in a halo of light. As he glimpsed her eyes, shining bright despite the pain, dagger poised as an Orc launched himself after her. Watched as the last of the light faded away, as clouds covered the sky and rain begun to fall; she disappeared from view.
She was gone.
A horrible wailing sound reverberated across the field. It took him a moment before he realized the sound came from him. He dropped to his knees as he stared with wild desperation at the edge; as if he looked hard enough, she would reappear.
An Orc a couple feet away cheered at the fallen Elven commander. A red haze descended on him as he scarcely noticed himself rise. As he stalked toward the Orc and gripped its throat. As he hauled it to eye level. Watched in absentminded satisfaction as the triumph in the Orc’s eyes faded to terror as they beheld the glacial fury he radiated. He tightened his grip until it stopped twitching, until what little light it possessed seeped out of its eyes. Dropped it as he turned toward the ones that stood between him and where Galadriel fell.
He happened to glance down and his breath wavered at what he saw. With trembling hands, he reached down and pulled Galadriel’s sword from the Orc she had killed. Watched as the rain cleansed it from the Orc filth. Noted how strange it was to not see it in her hands. Trembled as his mind reminded him of why the rightful owner wasn’t here to wield it.
He glowered at the Orcs as he rose. He wasn’t sure how he looked; rain running in rivulets down his face as it mixed with blood. As rage twisted his features. He stepped forward and the Orcs took a step back and tried to form a blockade. As if that would save them from his wrath. As if he would spare any for what they tried to take from him.
As if he would be kept away from her.
As he succumbed to the blood lust; he recalled nothing of the rest of the battle. Only knew that he reached the cliff’s edge, surrounded by dead Orcs. Skin slicked with blood and rain as his heart pounded in his ears. He hastily leaned over the edge, hoping she would be there. Would have caught a ledge and had just been patiently waiting to be pulled up.
There was nothing.
He swallowed past the hysteria that choked him, “Galadriel!”
Nothing answered him but the pattering of rain.
A dying Orc laughed past the blood that filled its mouth, “I hope the she Elf died in the fall. Good riddance.”
It continued to cackle as his vision blackened at the corners. He hardly realized he moved as he stomped down on its throat; effectively silencing its profane taunts. Soft but hurried footsteps signaled Arondir’s arrival. He peered over the edge and Halbrand couldn’t stop the impatience that leaked into his tone. “Do you see her?”
He leaned back, wiping his eyes from the rain, “No. The cliff is too jagged; I can’t see the bottom.”
The words slammed into him with the force of a snow troll. She wasn’t anywhere hanging onto the cliff wall. He trusted Arondir and for him to say he couldn’t see her; meant the only place she could be is at the bottom of the ravine. He tried to control his breathing as he scouted for a way down. He pinpointed a way down and took off in a run, Arondir at his heels. They passed Elrond who ran towards them. Whatever emotion he saw on his face alerted Elrond the situation was grim as he just nodded and followed them.
He continued to call for her as they climbed down; hindered by the rain. Voice growing more desperate the longer he went without a response. He finally reached the bottom and started the trek back to where she had fallen. He opened his mouth to yell over the pouring rain, when he caught sight of her armor. He released a sigh of relief as his heart returned to its normal rhythm as he traversed the mud and rising stream to reach her.
“Galadriel, for the love of Eru can you please have pity on me and not do stunts that take years of my life –”
His words cut off as the image he saw left him reeling.
He walked forward in a daze. Ears ringing as he collapsed to his knees. The chest piece she had borrowed from one of the Southlanders was cracked open; blood being washed off from the rain. He reached out with a trembling hand and touched it as his mind tried to comprehend what was missing.
Galadriel.
His Elf was missing.
She was injured, without her armor; and missing.
“GALADRIEL!”
Hysteria overwhelmed him. He could barely look at the armor, even though he clutched it like a lifeline. Refused to think about what it meant to find her armor cracked with no sign of her. He spun in circles, trying to decide which way she could’ve gone.
He barely heard Elrond approach him. He flinched as he grabbed him, one hand on his shoulder as the other cupped his neck. “Halbrand…Halbrand look at me. You need to breathe. You’re hyperventilating, you’re going to faint. Please breathe.”
He grabbed his arms as he tried to steady his breathing. As Arondir appeared at his side and saw what he clutched in his hands. As he cursed and looked back toward the river.
“Elrond… her armor…Where is she?”
His heart dropped as he saw the panic on Elrond’s face. As he turned to Arondir, hopeful he had good news. Arondir just shook his head, “We found…what was left of the Warg and what seems to be the remains of an Orc. But there’s no sign of the one that leapt after her, or of Galadriel.”
He trembled in Elrond’s grasp as he peered through the heavy rain, as if the skies shared his sorrow. “No. She has to be here. She couldn’t have just…vanished.”
Arondir swallowed, “I can’t find any tracks Halbrand”
He pushed off Elrond as he started to walk, “Well maybe she fell in the river, we just have to follow the river and then we’ll find her.”
Elrond released trembling breath, “We can’t”
He turned to face them. Saw Elrond’s pain, Arondir’s frustration. When they failed to further explain, his anger rose, “What do you mean we can’t?”
“The river splits off into many smaller rivers before it reaches the bay. We don’t have the numbers right now to follow each individual stream.”
Elrond glanced toward the sky before he looked back at him, “Not to mention the water level has risen quickly since we’ve climbed down. Soon the ravine will be flooded, and it will no longer be safe to travel.”
He stiffened as shock filled his body. At what their words tried to tell him. They couldn’t be serious. “Please tell me you both are joking. You can’t be serious.”
Elrond stepped forward, eyes pained and voice pleading, “Halbrand…”
He recoiled from them, “NO! I won’t leave her. Not ever. So do not ask—”
“You don’t have a choice”
His head snapped toward Ardonir who stared him down. Hackles rising, he grit out, “Excuse me?”
He sighed as he walked toward him, “I know you forget most of the time, but you can’t do everything. Contrary to your belief, you have limits. And Elrond is right, it will become too dangerous down here—”
“I am willing to risk it –”
“EVEN for an Elf, Halbrand. “
He struggled to tamp down his temper. Tried to speak past the panic and anxiety that crashed through him at the thought of leaving her. “Arondir I can’t. How am I supposed to walk away knowing she’s injured?”
“And if you become injured, how are you supposed to help her?”
He hung his head as his hands clenched at his sides. He knew they were right; knew he was likely to get hurt trying to find her in these conditions. But the thought of walking away…
He choked out a sob, “I can’t...”
Arondir placed his hand on a shoulder as Elrond placed his on the other. “I am sorry Halbrand. And you aren’t leaving her. She wouldn’t want you to traipse after her in these conditions.”
Elrond chuckled, “I wouldn’t particularly look forward to the scolding that would ensue if she found out we let you go after her like this.”
Halbrand gave a wobbly smile at the thought; at their obvious attempt to help him. He looked at the stream, already up to their knees and knew they were right. He suppressed the sob as he nodded at them. “Fine.”
As they climbed up and out of the ravine, he glanced back and couldn’t help the soft plea he let out.
“Please be alright.”
□ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □
The downpour had been torrential and had flooded most of the valley and streams. Loathe as he was to admit it, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to search for her in those conditions. Now though, the rain had lightened to a drizzle.
And he had waited long enough.
He grabbed his gear and began his walk to the stables when he was intercepted by Arondir and Bronwyn.
“Do you need something?”
Bronwyn walked toward him and handed him a pack. He opened it to reveal medicinal salves and bandages. “I don’t know if she had anything on her, but this should help until you can bring her home.”
He had tried to forget that she was not only missing, but injured as well. He clutched the pack tightly and gave her a wobbly grin, “Thank you.”
She placed her hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry too much my King. Galadriel is strong.”
She turned toward Arondir and gently kissed his cheek. A ‘be safe’ muttered into his skin before she turned to walk back into their house.
Arondir, blush still visible, turned toward him, “Shall we get going?”
“You’re coming with me?”
Arondir just scoffed, “As if I would let you go alone. Eru only knows what you would get yourself into.”
He knew he was trying to lighten the situation, reminding him of the chaos he tended to get himself into, but the gesture was not lost on him. “Thank you.”
Arondir gripped his shoulder, “Let’s bring her home”
□ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □
He galloped along one of the streams as he tried to steady his quivering hands. Tried to remember what Arondir had told him. ‘This will not be easy’ he said, ‘the rain will make it much harder to track her.’ He knew there was truth to Arondir’s words, but they failed to help him as he arrived at the bay; again. As the result was the same, time and time again; no matter how many streams they had followed that day.
There was nothing. They found no trace of her.
He clenched his teeth as he stared out into the bay. As the waves crashed against the shore; the sunset painting the sky in pastel hues. Tried to think of other areas to search.
Where are you?
Arondir appeared next to him. Frustration and anger on his face. Halbrand already knew what the answer was but asked anyway, “Did you find anything?”
“No.”
He muttered a curse, “I knew it would be difficult from the rain; but I thought there would be something—”
“Was no one going to tell me about the search party? I had to find out all by myself”
They turned to see Elrond approach them, looking worn and tired. “I brought some people to help look. Please tell me you both have been more successful than I.”
Halbrand turned back toward the water. His anxiety rose as he realized that even with Elrond bringing more help; there was still no sign of her. He looked at the woods, “What if we fanned out? More toward the woods. Maybe she needed to get away from the water…”
“I had some men look that way, as did I. None of us found any trace of her.”
“Then where is she?!”
Both Elves faced him as his voice cracked. “She’s not by the streams, or the bay. We can’t find any tracks. Maybe she ventured deep into the woods? We need to venture further in.”
Elrond shook his head, “I went far into the woods Halbrand. There was no sign of her. Also, the men were loud enough that she would have heard us and alerted us if she was there.”
“Then where else am I supposed to look—”
He cut himself of as he caught the look on Arondir’s face. As he stared out into the bay with a look of grief.
He snarled “Don’t you dare insinuate that.”
Arondir looked at him, eyes pained, but ever trying to be realistic, “It would explain why we haven’t found anything.”
He had never tried harder to not smack someone as he did in that moment. For Arondir to even suggest that. For even planting that idea in his head. For how it reminded him of a time she almost did.
“SHE DID NOT DROWN!”
Elrond moved in between them. As if he sensed Halbrand’s desire for violence.
“Let’s not be too hasty with those types of thoughts. She’s only been missing about a day and a half. Regardless of what anyone may think at the moment, we need to head back.”
Now he wanted to smack them both.
“Like hell I am”
“Halbrand; it’s almost nightfall. No one brought torches to continue searching.”
“I already left once, do not ask me to do it again”
“We can come back tomorrow. Hell, maybe we missed her and she already arrived back at Pelargir.”
He tried not to let that idea fill him with hope. That she had outmaneuvered them and was already back in Pelargir. He already imagined it; he would find her in Bronwyn’s house. Patched up with a wry grin on her face, wondering where they had been all day.
They arrived at the stables to see Theo waiting for them. The way his face fell when he scanned the horses and failed to see Galadriel, told Halbrand all he needed to know.
She wasn’t here.
Theo approached them as they dismounted their horses, “You really didn’t find her?”
His temper spiked as he was yet again reminded of their failure today. Emotions spiraled as he slammed the saddle on the bench, causing everyone to flinch.
Arondir shook his head, “I had hoped she might have gone around us and returned while we were out.”
“Mother and I kept a lookout, but she never showed up.”
He leaned his head against the side of the stall as he tried to steady his breathing. As he tried to remind himself that she was Galadriel. The most infuriating, stubborn Elf he had met. That she had lived much longer than him, and had faced dangers he would never know. Tried to tell himself she could survive a stab wound and a fall. Winced; as all that forced him to remember was the way her blood stained her armor, her pained cry as she fell, and how she had been missing for thirty-six hours.
The stall door swung shut with enough force to rattle the hinges as he made his way out. As he passed them, he muttered in a voice laced with frustration and worry.
“We depart again at dawn.”
□ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □ ▫ □
He perched on the edge of the ravine, watching as the sun bid another day farewell. As the last of the golden light illuminated the sky; emitting the last bit of warmth before the cold chill of night descended. He attempted not to think of how it reflected his mood.
A week.
It had been a week since the battle. Since anyone had seen Galadriel.
His vision blurred as he glared down into the ravine with abhorrence. Never had he despised an area of land so much. Never thought a piece of land could be the cause for so much grief. He had come here every night since she disappeared. As the last place he saw her, he foolishly held onto the hope that by coming here, she would appear. That if he sat here, she would eventually return. But there had been nothing. No sign of her. No tracks to be found. No clues to follow. Nothing.
Still, it felt better out here than staying in the main hall. Any time he attempted to rest or sleep; his dreams were filled with visions of her falling. Of the sound her shoulder made as it was dislocated. Of her cracked and bloody armor. No matter how fast he ran in those dreams, it was never enough to save her.
He couldn’t even walk by her room. He entered it the fourth night she has been missing, and was assaulted by memories. He saw the flowers some of the village girls had gathered for her. The ones he meant to ask the meaning of but never did. Still heard her laughter ringing in his ears as he joked about the book she was reading. How she encouraged him to sit and read it with her. The chess pieces remained in their respective positions from the fierce match between Elrond and her. He spotted the pawn on the floor that had been knocked off in competitive fury. The bowl of snacks Theo held as he watched the old friends argue back and forth. The roomed seemed frozen in time. As if any moment, she would walk back in. The more he looked around, the more distressed he became at the knowledge that she wasn’t here. He refused to go back since then.
He heard someone strolling toward him before he felt Elrond sit next to him. He knew he was worried as well. Saw the stress lines each day they failed to return with news of her.
“It was the only consolation I had you know.”
He saw Elrond turned to face him; face wrought with confusion.
He swallowed as he continued, “I’m a human. I know she’ll outlive me. So this was all I had. Knowing that no matter how we might end; I would be the first to go. I would never have to miss her, would never have go through the agony of losing her. Would never have to imagine what it would be like to live without her.”
Tears filled his eyes, as agony choked him, “She can’t be gone Elrond. I won’t allow it. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do without her. And I refuse to find out.”
Elrond scooted closer to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Said in a voice barely over a whisper, “In all the years I have known Galadriel, she has never given up. Whether it’s for a mission, or for the people she loves.”
Elrond softly smiled at him, “You probably know best how stubborn and determined she can be. So, don’t lose hope. I know it’s been hard…I myself am worried about her. But do not doubt for one second, that she is doing all she can to make it back to you. I’m sure she is just as displeased with this separation as you are.”
Halbrand nudged his shoulder, “You aren’t just telling me quail sauce, right?”
He chuckled at Elrond’s groan of frustration, “You are picking up too much from Durin. You both shouldn’t be left alone unsupervised.”
“I mean it though Elrond, I don’t need your pity.”
“Oh, the last thing I would give you is pity. And yes, I mean it. This is the same Elf who jumped off a ship in the middle of the sea and miraculously made it back. The one who survived a volcanic eruption and I’m sure many other dangers she never told me. Middle Earth has thrown what it can at her, and she has emerged the victor every time. This world doesn’t know how to deal with that type of tenacity.”
He smirked at the sentiment, he hardly thought anyone could deal with her tenacious nature.
Except him.
He couldn’t help the half smile, at the thought. Elrond gave his shoulder one last reassuring squeeze before he stood. “Well, I’m off to get some rest. Don’t stay out here too long. You still need to actually sleep.”
He slightly pivoted to watch Elrond leave, calling out to him at the last moment, “Elrond. Thank you…for everything.”
“Of course. You have become a dear friend to me. Get some rest Halbrand.”
Halbrand turned back to look out at the sky, as Elrond’s footsteps faded in the distance. As the stars shone against the night sky, painted in various shades of blue. All he thought of was her eyes, and how when she smiled, they sparkled like she had stars caught in them. He squeezed his eye shut as a tear fell. As he wanted nothing more than to be able to see her smile again. It was that image of her in his mind that made him realize; he would search for her every day. As long as it took. Would never give up until she was back where she belonged.
With him.
I won’t be without you
As he walked back to the hall, he turned to look toward the ravine one last time
Please come home
I love you