Chapter Text
It’s early, enough that the sun had yet to begin warming the world. Billy liked to get up early to watch it from his place in the window sill, warm and wrapped in blankets.
It’s never long before the yelling breaks open his little paradise, but for now its just him and the first rays of that California sunshine.
He closes his eyes as the warmth of it glows over his cheeks, trying to soak the feeling in down to the marrow of his bones. Part of him thinks that maybe, just maybe, if he tries hard enough he can keep its comfort tucked away down deep within himself to draw on when he needs it.
He keeps his eyes closed like that until he begins hearing voices, tensing up as the little moment of peace draws to a close.
Except that the voices don’t belong to his parents.
He…he doesn’t know who they belong to.
“...eas…om…ck… On’t…eav…e…lon……re…”
The words are clipped off, coming to him from miles away. They’re so fractured, so soft, he wouldn’t have heard them if there had been even the slightest bit of noise around him.
“...pl…lly……n’t…ie…”
The harder he focuses on the voice, the easier it’s getting to hear. He still can’t make out the words, but the voice…. He does know it. He knows he does, even if he can’t remember why.
“Billy!”
He jolts, the blankets around his shoulders flinching up farther up as his name cuts through the haze of comfort he’d let himself slip too far into.
“Don’t you fucking ignore me, get your ass over here, now!”
His peace ruptures, fear seeping out of the wound it leaves behind. His thoughts turn from the voice he’d been hearing to making sure he doesn’t get his ass whooped this early at a breakneck pace.
One centimeter to the left and no amount of speeding (and internal telekinetic tourniquets, but they don’t need to know that) would have saved him, they tell her. He’s lucky, they say too, like a six week long coma is a great consolation prize. With death being the other option, she supposes it kind of is.
They also tell her that if ( if!) Billy wakes up, he’s going to have a rough road to healing ahead of him. Physical therapy, limited functionality in both his lungs where the “girder” pierced him, muscle deterioration, and a bunch of other things Max’s ears had been ringing too much to really hear.
As if it weren’t enough that he’d nearly died on her after having been a massive douche most of the time she’d been around him, now Billy was more than likely going to need her help. Something she knew would make him actively, openly, hostile. He hated needing help, least of all hers.
But it wasn’t like she could stand to just not. She’d also watched him face down a massive nightmare creature he had no idea about to try to protect her.
He had to wake up, if only to explain what the fuck that was about.
Because she needed answers, and not at all because she needed him. She’d been handling the way Neil had started aiming his bullshit her way just fine.
She was just being a supportive sister by being at his bedside as often as she could.
She’d kept up that illusion for about a week before she’d caved and more or less begged him to wake up. He hadn’t, and she’d cried for a good five minutes before she forced herself to get it together.
Since then she’d taken to telling him about her day.
Max knew perfectly well how much Billy hated having her just talk for long stretches at a time. He’d told her as much, more than once.
At first it was kind of funny, having a captive audience (the nurses had told her he could probably hear him), and she even kind of thought he might wake up out of spite alone if nothing else. But it quickly turned into a comfort, a routine. Billy was a much better listener unconscious, and Max needed now more than ever to have someone to talk to. Someone who already knew what Neil Hargrove was like behind closed doors.
So she told Billy everything, down to the small stupid things.
But it had been six weeks now, and he hadn’t so much as twitched a finger. Max was getting desperate. Her wrists ached with new bruises, and she was pretty sure there was a permanent hospital bed shaped indent on her elbow.
When she’d suggested to El that they try to wake Billy up, she hadn’t really expected the girl to be on board with it. Maybe it was all the time she’d come to spend with Steve Harrington (he came around every day to make sure she had eaten and drank and done something other than sit and stare) but she just didn’t expect someone to say yes to something so obviously batshit insane.
She had though, and now they were both sat in Billy’s hospital room, hand in hand, preparing to climb into his head.
“So how does this work?” Max asked, her voice a little creaky with nerves.
El shifted around a little, squaring her shoulders as her expression tucked into calm focus. It was a look Max knew well, had seen her put on every time she used her powers. Secretly she thought it was kind of cute the way her little button nose creased when she was really focused.
“Try to not think.” El explained, “Make your head as quiet as you can. I’ll come get you and we go in that way.”
That didn’t make much sense to Max, but it didn’t really have to.
Instead of thinking it over too much, Max closed her eyes.
She’d always been kind of quiet, came with the territory growing up in such a loud, shitty environment. Her mind had never been as quiet as she had and she’d never had to try to force it to be before. The harder she tried, the more her thoughts seemed to chase each other around in circles until she was left giving a frustrated sigh.
“I can’t-” She bit her lip, her eyes opening back up, “I don’t know how.”
El’s own eyes stayed closed but her thumb started to gently rub over Max’s knuckles. She started to breathe in deeper, and Max took the cue to follow along with her.
It took a few minutes but she closed her eyes again, focusing on breathing, on El’s hand in hers and only that. Slowly, the rest of her thoughts bled out of her, fading into such soft background noise they might well not be there at all. It was as close to peace as she’d ever felt.
She would have been content to stay like that, had El’s hand not given her a gentle tug.
“Open your eyes.” El’s voice encouraged her softly.
She did, finding herself now in an unfamiliar living room.
El was already looking around, though she had yet to move. She was much less disoriented than Max felt, but then she’d done this more than once. Max squeezed the hand she was still holding, the bit of tension in her shoulders easing as El squeezed back.
“Billy?” Max called out, glancing around the space though she didn’t move either.
Ahead of them, something rustled in the ledge of a big window overlooking the ocean.
Before she could call out again, a thick head of blonde curls poked out of the window sill, big blue eyes wide with curiosity and nervousness fixed on them.
Max gaped for a moment as she took him in.
She’d never known Billy as a child, just the hard edged teenager who’d dogged her more often than not. She hadn’t expected him to be so small, frame slighter and more delicate looking than her own. With his big eyes and fluffy hair he looked so fragile and vulnerable she could hardly reconcile this being the same boy she knew.
“Billy?” She whispered again, “Is that- are you-?”
“Who are you?” He asked, tucking the blankets engulfing his little frame closer to his body. His voice was so soft, trembling, it struck Max even more than the realization that he’d once been so tiny.
“You don’t recognize me?”
She took a step forward and he flinched bodily, making another stone drop into the pit of her stomach. She knew that reaction, had started seeing it in the mirror. Her blood was suddenly boiling with the knowledge that Neil had started hurting him this early.
“You shouldn’t be here.” He whispered, his big eyes glancing nervously around the room, looking for the danger they both knew followed him like a shadow, “If he sees you--”
Max took another small step forward, raising her hands to show him she meant no harm. It didn’t stop him from flinching, but he didn’t run either.
“Billy, this isn’t-- he’s not here. You don’t have to be afraid of him, I promise.”
As if on cue, Neil’s voice called out sharply from the next room. Max flinched along with it, wincing more when she felt El’s gaze shift to her. She could feel the girl’s knowing eyes dissecting the reaction, knew she’d have to talk about it later, but for now she made herself focus on Billy.
Billy who was shaking.
“Hey, hey, hey,” She said as gently as she could, “Look at me, Billy, look at me.”
He did, but Neil’s voice rang out again, making him curl in on himself. Max could see his shadow looming in from the next room, could feel his presence getting closer. Panic started to clog her own throat.
“He’s not going to hurt you, Billy.” She said, surprised at how stable her voice was, “He’s not real. None of this is.”
One oceanic eye found her from beneath sandy curls.
“It’s not. I know-- I know that sounds crazy but it’s true.” She took another shuffling step forward.
“Not…real?” His voice was just barely audible, just a whisper of sound really.
She nodded, glancing at El, who was focused in on the looming shape of Neil in the background. She knew from her expression the girl was doing her best to push him back, to give Max as much time to get through to Billy as she could.
“Not real. You’re in a coma right now, Billy.” She focused back in on her brother, “You got hurt really bad.”
He frowned, his face too soft to carry the expression yet, not like he can now.
“Hurt… I got hurt?”
He glanced off to the side where Neil’s shadow was suspended, his fear cloying and filling the room like a tangible thing.
“It wasn’t Neil,” Max choked out, “It was something else. You-- you saved me.”
His attention darted back to her then, his eyes flicking across her entire face as he absorbed the statement. She watched his expression slowly blossom into recognition.
“Max?” He whispered, leaning toward her.
The relief nearly took her out at the knees, hitting far harder than she would have expected it to. She felt her eyes tear up as she nodded, though that relief was quickly overshadowed by El’s grunt of effort.
“Yeah, it’s me, Billy. You’re-- you’re stuck in a coma right now. Me and El came to try to help you, I--” The words jumbled up in her throat, a tangled mess she couldn’t bring herself to voice.
Billy’s expression stitched up again, but this time it looked more familiar even on his younger face.
“This isn’t real.” He said, his own voice coming out of this version of himself, “This isn’t…”
“I can’t--” El groaned, causing Max to shift her attention back to her, finding her nose bleeding, “It’s too heavy…”
Max took the few steps back to her and took her hand again, trying her damndest to give her whatever strength she could. She couldn’t tell if she was actually doing much, but El squeezed onto her hand like a lifeline.
Neil’s voice began bellowing again, more hateful and vicious than Max had heard it before, amplified by Billy’s own fear of him.
“You have to run.” Billy’s voice has faded back into the childish version of it, “He’ll hurt you if he catches you.”
“No.” Max bites out, surprised by the conviction in her voice, “I’m not leaving you here.”
Billy’s already wide eyes only grow where they’re riveted to her.
“I’m not leaving you alone with him.” The strength has waned from her tone, leaving just the ache of someone who’s now all too familiar with the pain of being left alone to handle more than they can, “Not again.”
Billy’s lower lip trembles and she’s never had a protective thought about him before, but Max would fight Neil’s hulking frame to her last breath to keep him safe in this moment. The thought of his tiny little frame battered and forced into becoming bigger and stronger to hide the scared child still living inside it sends protective rage flooding through her whole body.
“Come on Billy,” She says as gently as she can, holding out the hand that isn’t clutching El’s, “Come back to me.”
She’s surprised when Billy doesn’t take her hand, but flings himself across the space and into her arms. He’s trembling, his breathing uneven like he’d run a marathon instead of a foot. He clings to her like she’s the last patch of solid ground during a hurricane.
“Please.” Is the only thing he says.
She doesn’t exactly know how to get them back, but she squeezes him just as tightly as he’s squeezing her. At her side, El slumps, releasing her hold on Neil’s shadow.
His shouting returns, but Max holds Billy close to her, covering his ears.
“El, how do we get out?” Max wants to wipe the blood from her face, but her hands are full and El is already reaching to do it herself.
“I don’t know.” She admits, “I’ve never done this before.”
That’s a pretty good point, Max thinks they probably should have talked this out more before hopping right into it, but that’s really moot point by now. Before she can really worry too much about it, a door opens beside them.
The girls share a look before Max is turning back to Billy.
“We’re going through there, okay? Can you hold onto my hand for a little bit?”
Billy nods, his hand finding her’s with little hesitation. She would be hard pressed to describe him as cute under normal circumstances, but like this? He was dangerously close to being called adorable even.
El led the way, seeming just as eager to get away from the terrible things Neil was screaming from entirely too close now. Max followed with Billy by her side.
The room they entered was less a room, and more a void.
There was no sound, no light really, though she could see well enough. It was just empty black space that seemed infinite yet so close it was nearly claustrophobic. She would have panicked were she on her own, but the two hands in hers kept her grounded.
One hand, however was now much larger than it had been.
Max looked over at Billy, finding the current version of him staring back at her now. The thing was, he still looked just as vulnerable as he had, even if his face was sharper and less outwardly approachable. It was his eyes, she realized with a shock, they’d always looked like he was pleading for something he had no idea how to voice.
“Billy?” She asked tentatively, “You still with us?”
He blinked, swallowing hard as he hesitated.
“Is this real?” He asked, his voice now back to normal as well, though devastatingly quiet for someone she was used to hearing shout, “Are you really here?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, “I got sick of waiting for you to get your ass up.”
To her utter surprise, Billy laughed. It wasn’t a mirthful one, it sounded more like stone grinding against stone, but his eyes seemed to liven up some. Another coil of tension eased in her chest at the sight.
She was going to puke when they got him back, she couldn’t handle feeling so genuinely relieved to see someone she’d spent so long disliking. But that didn’t really change much.
Billy looked over at El then, seeming to notice her for the first time.
“You.” He narrowed his eyes, “This isn’t the first time you’ve been in my head.”
El froze like a deer in the headlights, unsure how to react. Max shifts her weight a little, leaning between Billy and El just in case he decided to try to get in her face. He doesn’t feel hostile, but Max has been surprised by him plenty of times in the last…however long they’d been at this.
“Thanks.” He says simply, “For helping. You didn’t have to.”
Max’s eyebrows hitched up her forehead.
“I wanted to.” El replies, sounding surprised herself, “You shouldn’t have gotten hurt like that.”
Billy pursed his lips, licking his teeth, fidgeting like he just couldn’t keep himself still.
“Yeah, well, better me than you.” He shrugged, “Town fuck up or a bunch of kids? Not much of a toss up there.”
The dark rippled around them, visibility dropping a little so that Max could only really make out the silhouettes of El and Billy beside her.
“You didn’t have to either.” El said quietly, “You’re not all bad.”
A soft, punched out sound left Billy, like El’s words had been a physical blow he hadn’t been expecting. Max could relate, she’d felt about the same the first time El had given her one of her honest, guileless compliments. She was always so earnest it made her thoughts and feelings land with more impact.
“You don’t know me.” He rebutted, but his reply was breathless, without it’s usual bite.
“No.” El replied simply, “I know you’ve done bad things. I have seen you hurt my friends.”
Billy flinched, but he didn’t throw vitriol back at her like he might have if this talk were happening in the outside world. The darkness around them was a moving, writhing thing that Max could feel beginning to stick to her skin. Billy was almost invisible through it.
“It’s not okay,” El continued, “People do things sometimes that aren’t okay. But people can learn to be better, if someone helps them to.”
She reached out her hand, to where Billy had been standing. She didn’t seem to be affected by the darkness clinging to Max and Billy, her own hand just as visible as it had been when they first entered the void.
“Lots of people have helped me, but that hasn’t happened to you yet.” She said like it was simple, just another fact she had learned and wanted to share, “I want to help you, Billy.”
“Why?” His voice was so hoarse it barely sounded like his own, as though just speaking was almost more than he could manage.
“Because that’s the right thing to do.” El didn’t drop her hand, “When someone is hurting, you’re supposed to help them.”
It’s so simple, so utterly devoid of ulterior motives, that Max felt like she might cry. El had no love for Billy, and though she was grateful for what he’d done for them, that wasn’t why she wanted to help him. It was the basic urge to help someone that was so clearly drowning on their own, garden variety empathy that everyone ought to have yet so few people actually did.
It was real, it was human, and it was something so foreign to Billy that for a long moment he simply stared at her outstretched hand like he couldn’t comprehend what it really was.
El didn’t rush him, just let him process.
It took a small eternity but eventually Billy let himself reach out for her hand. His grip was more hesitant than Max had seen from him in the entirety of the time she’d known him, like he was afraid she’d pull away. Or else afraid he’d somehow hurt her.
“I don’t…get this.” He muttered, “Makes no fucking sense.”
“Like giant interdimensional monsters make any more sense?” Max scoffed, though she was smiling, “Life is weird.”
“Weird.” Billy echoed, still staring at El’s hand in his, so small compared to his own, “Wait, shit that actually happened?”
His head snapped back up to both of them, the far away look now traded out for barely restrained panic.
“Yeah, it did.” Max confirmed, noticing the darkness around them had grown a bit lighter, “Promise we’ll catch you up when we’re out of here, okay?”
“You’d better.” Billy finally let go of El’s hand, “I’ve got questions.”