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His face was unbearable to look at, a mere glance at his features and his partner let tears cascade down his cheeks. Those eyes were once so beautifully bright, now they were dull, lifeless. Chuuya felt nothing, those once gleaming cerulean eyes dim with a numbing depression. How could he do this? Haven't I given enough?
“I'm such a fool, how could I ever think a man as corrupt as him could change…” chuuya muttered under his breath, tears streaming down his rosy cheeks.
He held his partner's slim, pale hand and stroked it gently. His stomach twisted with misery and anxiety. “God, I never thought you would actually do it, Osamu…” Chuuya spoke gently to the deceased man next to him, sleeping ever so peacefully.
Chuuya always said he thought Dazai was most beautiful in his sleep. His mind clear of the torture he created for himself, his slender body at peace. He adored the way the man's chest rose and fell ever so gently, small snores leaving his lips as he was void of any stress.
“God, you drive me up the wall Osamu!” Chuuya exclaimed at the brunette grinning widely in front of him.
“Come on, my love… I know you secretly want to!” Dazai smirked, reaching his hand out to wrap it around Chuuya’s waist. He was obsessed with his waist, it was so small in comparison to his large slim hands.
Chuuya rolled his eyes, “Fine, we can go on the stupid ferris wheel, dumbass.”
Dazai’s eyes sparkled with pure childish joy, a giddy smile never leaving his face as he walked with his husband to the ferris wheel. He held Chuuya’s hand gently as he guided him into the small cart that would soon carry them to the highest point of the fair. They exchanged a look of love as Dazai seated himself across from his husband, keeping their hands intertwined.
“Fuck you, shitty Dazai…” Chuuya murmured, his hands shaking as he opened the door to their apartment. He let out a shaky sigh as he slipped a cigarette into his mouth, lighting it and exhaling softly.
A soft knocking interrupted the couple's evening.
“Can you get that please, Atsushi?” Akutagawa muttered, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. Atsushi nodded, giving his fiance a smile.
Atsushi opened the door to be met with a drenched Chuuya.
“Chuuya? What are you doing here? Are you okay?” Atsushi spoke, pulling the red-head into the apartment and running to get a cup of tea for him.
Akutagawa sat Chuuya down on their sofa, “Are you okay? Where’s Dazai?”
That was it.
Chuuya collapsed, he held onto Akutagawa tightly and sobbed his heart out.
His eyes widened, stroking his boss’ back gently. Atsushi walked in holding a cup of warm chamomile tea, noticing his friends' tears and quickly sped up to sit down with them, placing the tea on the coffee table.
“What's happened?”
The two exchanged worried looks over the hunched figure that was Chuuya.
“He left. He’s gone…”
They both replied with anger present in both their voices, “WHAT?!”
“He left you? But he was so in love with you Chuuya? I don’t understand why he would've done this. We can search for him if you want?” Atsushi spoke in a soft tone, bringing the tea to Chuuya's lips, watching the mafioso take a small sip.
“He's dead.”
Dazai couldn’t explain why he loved the short-tempered mafioso so much. His eyes that shimmered like the most gorgeous diamonds, his small waist that Dazai could squeeze. He was head over heels in love with the man. To him, he was a reminder of why he would never love another as much as he did Chuuya, he was his light at the end of the tunnel. He would never love another man like he does Chuuya. The smell of inky parchment, freshly cut grass and cinnamon, home.
“What are you staring at, shitty Dazai?!” Dazai smiled gently at him and gave his head a small kiss, “The love of my life, of course”
Blush spread rapidly over Chuuya’s face as they continued walking together down the pier.
The funeral was small, lonely, barren. Only the ADA, Chuuya and Akutagawa showed up to say goodbye.
Chuuya spoke no words, just smiled at the coffin and let tears fall.
“Goodbye, Osamu”
Dazai watched as Chuuya slept soundly, a small smile creeping onto his face as he knew he was at peace. Arahabaki couldn’t invade his thoughts if he was asleep. This was the last night he intended to spend on earth and he wanted those last moments to be spent looking at his light.
“Hey, Chuuya?” Dazai spoke gently at the sleeping figure. Chuuya grumbled in response.
“I love you.”
“I love you too” Chuuya mumbled.
Silence. That was all that filled Dazai’s mind. The pills quickly numbed his pain. Fireworks set off as he slowly but surely drifted into his lifelong slumber.
“Goodbye, Chuuya Nakahara.”