Archive of Our Own

"Please, stop it"

It was five to eight and Charlie's leg had been bouncing up and down for the last fifteen minutes, the movement making the shiny pom poms sparkle. He looked at Elle when she spoke, trying to play it cool and smiling.

"What do you mean?"

"The leg thing. You are making the whole bench move"

"No I'm not, you are exaggerating"

"Yes, you are, and no, she's not" Tara added, joining the conversation and putting her arm over Charlie's shoulder. "Don't worry, they are going to win, they always do when he plays"

Charlie nodded slightly, trying to look convinced. 

It was the final game of the season, and the school team was playing it. If they won, they would win the championship. And what was more, if they won and Nick was the one making it happen, he would probably get the scholarship he wanted to keep playing football in university. 

If they were lucky enough, in a university near home. 

They have talked about it multiple times, almost since the beginning of their relationship, because now that they have found each other neither of them wanted to let go. 

So it was an important night, and Charlie was coping with the anxiety as well as he could. Usually, he would go to Nick or his friends to calm down, but right now he could only wait. There were five minutes left until the beginning of the match, so five minutes until them, the cheerleader team, had to make their first performance. Thankfully he was doing so with Elle and Tara by his side, otherwise he wouldn't be able to.

He had joined the cheerleader team back in January, after Tara convinced him.

He was in a Christmas party with his friends Isaac, Tao, Aled and Elle, who was a cheerleader since the beginning of the school year. As she had said to them when the boys were looking at her in disbelief once she told them the news, she wanted to live every possible experience in high-school, and that included joining the cheerleader team. And she was the best, truly. Elle and the other girls have been changing things, using her spot as the most popular ones among the students to actually care about how people were treated. They made the team a safe space where everybody was welcome if they were ready to endure the tiring training days. During that Christmas party, Tara went with her girlfriend, Darcy, to greet Elle, and the couple found her friend dancing with Charlie. After seeing how the boy moved, with elegance even though he was being purposely goofy, Tara talked to Elle and between the both of them convinced Charlie to give it a go. 

And it was, actually, one of the best things he had done, since it gave him so many good things. He found on the training and the dancing the perfect equilibrium between physical activity and fun, both things being great help and making improvements in his mental health and usual anxiety. And the truth was that he was pretty good at it, too. Besides, once he joined the team other guys decided to give it a try too, and now they had an inclusive mixed team. An inclusive mixed team which won every single competition they took part in because they were also incredibly talented.

In addition to the friends Charlie made thanks to the team, it gave him one of the best things which have ever happened to him. 

Not long after joining the cheerleader team, he met Nick.

The first time they met it was during Charlie's first practice. 

The cheerleader team used to train right next to the football track, and the two groups usually concur in their schedules, since both of them used the time right after class and mostly every evening, especially if there were important games or competitions soon. 

Charlie was next to Tara, still feeling shy towards the rest of the team and not really sure about being there. He has been listening to the girl for almost half an hour, while she explained to him everything he needed to know about the practices and the positions. Elle, in the meantime, was already practising some of the choreographies with the rest of the team. From the stands, Aled, Tao and Isaac were looking at them, although Charlie and everybody else knew that Tao was there mostly to see Elle. Isaac, who saw Charlie looking towards them for a second, gave him a thumbs up to encourage him, and the other boy felt the knot in his stomach loosen a little bit. He didn't have time to greet his friend back, thought, since suddenly there was a football ball rolling on the grass towards him. Several meters after the ball, a boy was running to pick it up. 

Well, not only a boy. It was the boy. The captain and probably the most decent member of the team. Strawberry blond, in a way that may seem ginger sometimes, with broad shoulders and strong arms. Charlie, who had stopped listening to his friends and their explanations, tried very hard not to stare at the boy, and decided to pick the ball to have something to do other than looking at him.

When the boy was close to where Charlie and the girls were standing, he smiled directly towards Charlie, and it was the warmest smile somebody has ever sent in his direction. 

"Thank you, mate" he said, and Charlie mumbled something along the lines of "it's nothing" before Tara went towards the guy.

"Nicholas! What are you doing here?" she asked while hugging him, a happy expression on her face. "You? Picking the balls sent in our direction? I thought that was work for the newbies, not the captain"

The boy scratched the back of his neck at Tara's words, and Charlie thought that he seemed oddly embarrassed, although he may be mistaken, since he didn't know him at all.

"Oh, no, yes, I mean, I... uhm... I was the closest one to the spot"

He was lying, obviously. Charlie knew he was lying. Nicholas himself knew he was lying. He had to run past some of his teammates to pick the ball, and Charlie had seen that. Actually, Nick was the one who sent the ball in their direction, but he was the only one who knew that (besides the members of the football team who were around him when it happened). Tara, however, had been focused on her explanations, so she didn't noticed absolutely nothing.

Before she could add anything else, Nick smiled again, this time towards Charlie. "And... Uhm... You are new in the team? I don't remember seeing you before"

Charlie, who was caught completely by surprise, opened his eyes a bit too much and his mouth formed a perfectly shaped "o" before answering. "Oh, yes, I am new, I... Tara and my friend Elle convinced me to join and... Well, they thought it was a good idea"

"And it is a good idea, Charlie! Wait until the next game, Nick, you are going to agree with me when you see him!"

Charlie felt his face getting hotter at Tara's enthusiasm, but nothing compared to what he felt once Nick smiled at him and added "Can't wait"

Another member of his team shouted at him, requesting their ball back to resume the practice, and Nick started walking to the track. Before being too far from them, he turned again to say goodbye. "Nice to meet you, Charlie"

"Yeah, nice to meet you too, Nick" He answered, trying not to think about how the other boy remembered his name although Tara had only said it once.

This time Tara noticed. She saw the face both of the boys had; the shy and poorly disguised smiles; the light redness of the cheeks, not related to the physical effort of their trainings. So when they went back to their previous talk, she had a knowing smile in her face.

After that, they saw each other almost every day. With Nick and Tara being close, both of their friends groups merged as one with the passing of the days and the shared plans: cinema, milkshakes, arcade or board games nights, everything worked for them all, but especially for Nick and Charlie.

However, they were never alone other than when they crossed paths in the corridors, exchanging greetings and shy smiles, which seemed to be their trademark. The season was getting quite intense, so during trainings neither of them had time to look for the other, even though both of the boys wanted to. 

The situation stayed the same for weeks, until one day in practice, when the cheerleader team was training wearing their uniforms. They were new, so they were basically testing if they could comfortably made all the movements they had to. The uniforms were black, with details in purple and lilac, the colours of the high-school, and they had the initial of its name in the front, a huge purple capital N. 

That day both teams, the football and the cheerleader ones, finished at the same time, and that was the opportunity Nick took to speak to the other boy alone.

He dismissed his teammates as soon as he left the locker room and ran towards the boy. After greeting each other, they started walking side by side while leaving the track and the high-school grounds. They made small talk and both of them felt way too comfortable even though that that was the first time they were actually talking without being surrounded by their closest friends.

Right before they had to separate ways, Nick decided that he didn't want that moment to end, so he blurted out the first thing that crossed his mind, which had been a permanent thought since he saw the new cheerleader's uniforms.

"The N in your chest makes it look as if you are cheering just for me. I like it"

There was a second in which both boys remained silent. One because wasn't expecting that comment at all. The other because he couldn't believe what he had just said. There were multiple topics which he could have brought to keep talking, but he chose the one thought which made him look as if he was smitten. And he was, since the first time he saw Charlie, but that was not something the other boy needed to know. Nick was already starting to form an excuse or an apology, when Charlie smiled and tilted his head a bit.

"And who says I'm not doing so?" 

That was not at all what Nick was expecting, so he stared at the other boy while he blinked at him and turned to leave.

Charlie was feeling his cheeks burn, and was trying to understand where that had come from and why he had had to say it. He was hiding his crush on Nick incredibly fine and was enjoying their blossoming friendship, and making a comment like that one could ruin everything. He was already mentally punishing himself for saying it when he heard steps running after him.

"Charlie, wait. Char!" Nick said, running to reach Charlie, whose brain was trying to process the fact that Nick was actually running towards him. 

When both of them are face to face again, however, the first thing that came to his mind was the nickname the other boy screamed to make him stop walking, so he smiles slightly and arches an eyebrow.

"Char?"

"Oh, that... that slipped out, sorry" Nick said scratching the back of his neck, a gesture Charlie could already recognise in him every time he is nervous, so he tried to reassure him.

"Don't be, I liked it"

"Oh, well, then... I... Uhm..." the other boy tried to talk again, but suddenly he seemed to be having an incredibly hard time. The words were stuck on his head, but he couldn't find the courage to say them out loud, afraid of having misinterpreted the signals and mess up their friendship. However, Charlie's smile and kind expression made him feel safe and at peace. And brave, that too, so he found the nerve to talk.

"Iwasthinkingthatmaybewecouldhangoutsometimelikejustthetwoofus?"

Charlie looked at him a bit confused, and Nick felt his whole face and neck burning as they turned bright red. Nick didn't stop to breath while he spoke, so maybe Charlie didn't really get what he was trying to say, so he breathed in and was about to repeat it, in a calmer way this time, when the other boy tilted his head again.

"You mean, as in a date?" he asked. He was terrified of the answer he was going to get, but he really needed to know. He had been wanting to go on a date with Nick since the first time he saw him, and he was not going to miss his maybe only chance. If that implied rejection... Well, he would take it with the more dignity he could and he would move forward. 

He was, actually, already forming a way to excuse himself for the question, but Nick was openly smiling and nodding.

"Yeah. Yes, of course. As a date. I would like to go on a date with you, Char, if you... uhm... if you do too, of course" Nick said, feeling nervous again, but Charlie didn't miss a beat before reassuring him again, with a soft smile appearing in his lips.

"I would like it too, Nick, yes"

Their first date was on a Friday, and it took place in the park walking Nick's dog, Nellie. It was Nick's idea, since he knew how much Charlie liked animals even though he didn't have any because his parents wouldn't allow it. Nick really wanted the day to be special, but his dating game had never been very strong so right before meeting Charlie for the afternoon he was incredibly flustered and anxious. 

But as soon as he saw the other boy all the nervousness was gone and he felt calm. And when Nellie tugged on the leash when she heard her name and run towards Charlie and he greeted the dog by hugging her and telling her how adorable she was, Nick felt even better. 

He felt at home. 

They spent the whole evening together, until the sky started to darken and Nick walked Charlie home. Neither of them wanted the day to end, but given that the next day they had a match (and, therefore, a cheerleading performance for Charlie), they really needed the rest. There wasn't any awkwardness during the date, but when they were going to say goodbye already right in front of Charlie's house, Nick felt the nervousness again. He really wanted to ask Charlie out another time, but didn't want to scare him by his eagerness to spend time together.

Luckily for him, Charlie already knew him well enough after their group hang outs, so when he saw Nick weirdly scratching the back of his neck, just as he did the first time they met, he smiled and put his hand on top of the other boy's forearm to make him stop. 

"What do you think about going to have milkshakes after the match? We can celebrate your victory"

Nick smiled fondly, immensely grateful for the boy in front of him. "Yeah" he said, a little breathless. "Yeah, milkshakes sound perfect"

Charlie nodded at him and smiled, finding courage enough to stand on his tiptoes and, using the hand he still had on Nick's arm as support, get closer to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

It was quick, way quicker than Nick would have wanted, but long enough to make him feel red from head to toes. He was watching Charlie after he waved him goodbye and walked towards the door when he actually processed what the other boy had said. 

"What if we don't win? Then we won't have anything to celebrate"

Charlie stopped for a second, the hand already on the door handle, and turned to Nick to answer. "Oh, I know you'll win, but even if you didn't, seeing you play is already something worth of celebration", he said, right before winking an eye to Nick. 

He quickly opened the door and entered the house, leaving a very speechless Nick on his porch. 

Charlie rested his back on the door, smiling to himself and thinking how he had been brave enough. Brave to ask for the second date, to give him a kiss and to wink after basically acknowledging that he had been looking at Nick while he played. But he felt comfortable enough to do so, to feel like that, because being next to Nick gave him a weird sensation of comfort and security, so he felt free to be playful and fully himself.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"Jesus, Tori! One day I'm going to have a heart attack if you keep coming out of nowhere" the boy said after his sister's words, a hand dramatically in his chest.

"I am literally coming out of the kitchen, Charles, answer my question, what is that smile about?"

"I... I am not..." he cut himself when he saw the girl's knowing look, one that showed that she was clearly not believing him. Charlie sighed, and started to take off his shoes to avoid looking directly to his sister. "I had a date, and it went quite well, I think"

Given that he wasn't looking at her, Charlie couldn't see the hint of the smile that appeared on Tori's lips. "Do I know him?"

"Hm... I mean... Yes, you do, he is... Uhm...". The boy fumbled with words, trying to decide if he wanted to tell her. He had a great time, and didn't want to jinx it by speaking about it too soon, but at the same time he needed to speak to somebody about it, he needed to freak out with somebody, and Tori was always the best choice. "You know, Nick"

"Nick as in Nick Nelson? Quarterback and captain of the football team?"

"Uhm... Yeah, exactly him" 

There was a silence in which the siblings looked at each other. Charlie waiting for Tori's response, Tori examining Charlie's expression. And she only saw good things. She saw the hope that his brother had lost during some time. And she saw happiness, pure and obvious happiness. So she smiled again, almost a fully smile this time instead of her usual hinted one, much to her brother's surprise. 

"I guess I'll have to start going to the football matches, then" she said, turning and going upstairs towards her bedroom. 

Now it was Charlie's turn to look startled at somebody closing a door behind them, exactly as Nick did some minutes ago. But he recovered fast. He shook his head, smiled and went upstairs too. He really needed to rest for the performance, and didn't really want to have dark circles under his eyes for his second date with Nick.

That Saturday, Nick Nelson scored the largest amount of points in a match of the whole season. The fact that right before the match started he looked at Charlie and saw him pointing to the purple N in his chest with a wide smile... Well, that may have had something to do with it.

Charlie is thinking about all of this while he waits for the music to start so they can do their performance. He loves cheerleading, but today's match is way too important and he knows he is not focused at all. He tries his best to clear his mind and focus on what he is doing, but the truth is that he is just dancing the choreography mechanically, without thinking about it. His brain is spinning with how much he wishes that Nick wins tonight. But he hides it well enough for the people surrounding him, and for the audience too, and after some minutes the performance is over and everybody is clapping and cheering, waiting for the team to appear. 

As they do before every game, Tara and Elle nod to Charlie, which is the signal for him to sneak out towards his place with Nick. It's a discreet spot behind a pillar, close enough to the locker rooms so the teammates don't suspect anything. 

They think that Nick goes there before every game to relax and have some time for himself, to focus. But what he truly does is meet his lucky charm. 

As soon as he spots Charlie running towards him, Nick's face brightens with a smile that makes Charlie's legs weak. The older boy opens his arms for the other, and without missing a beat they are hugging as if their lives depend on that. 

"You are shaking"

"I am nervous" Charlie says, his voice muffled by Nick's t-shirt.

"I am not" the other replies, breaking a bit apart so he can look at Charlie's face. Nick can read his expression as if it was a book. His big questioning eyes are asking him how can he not be nervous when he is about to play the most important game of his life. But Charlie is not saying it, because he doesn't want to put more pressure on him. And God, Nick loves him so, so much. "I am going to do what I do best. And I have you here. We never lose when you are watching, you are our lucky charm"

Nick says the last part with his lips really close to Charlie's ear, making the boy giggle before lovingly hitting the other on the chest.

"You big idiot, you don't need any charms!"

"Maybe I don't need them, but I am glad I have you!" 

The tone in their voices is full of love and adoration, and they stare at the other for a couple of second before coming closer again to kiss. Is a chaste kiss on the lips that both want to make last longer yet break really soon. After all, there is a match to win.

Charlie rises a hand to cup Nick's cheek and smiles proudly at him. 

"Go win for us, come on"

Nick nods, leans again towards Charlie to give him another quick peck and puts his helmet on right when he reaches the locker room. 

The whistle marks the beginning of the match just when Charlie is arriving to the bench in which the cheerleaders are sitting, and takes a seat between Elle and Tara.

The hour that follows is the longest in his life, and the anxiety is eating him alive, but he knows they are going to win. As Tara said, they always do when Nick plays. And Charlie trusts in Nick's abilities wholeheartedly.  

And he has two of his best friends next to him to help him calm down. Luckily, all their group knows about them, so Charlie doesn't have to pretend or make up any excuses about why the match is so important for him. Everyone of his friends knows that he couldn't care less about football, but he certainly cares about Nick.

He cared from the very beginning.

After the match (which they won) and the milkshakes, dates went one after the other. Every free moment the boys had was dedicated to be together. It didn't matter if the time was used to do homework, to study in silence side by side or to walk home after trainings. They were just enjoying each other's company.

They had actual dates too. The second one was in the cinema. They went to see a horror movie which had Nick terrified and Charlie amused by that. But it was special because during a particularly tense moment, Nick tentatively moved his hand, his pinky finger brushing Charlie's. The curled-hair boy looked at the gesture and linked the two fingers together. They stayed like that until Nick decided that it was enough and actually grabbed Charlie's hand, fingers intertwined and everything. No need to say that they didn't pay any attention to the movie after that, since contemplating their hands together was a much more interesting thing.

A week after that, right before a game that had Nick quite anxious, they shared their first kiss.

Charlie was trying to calm the other boy but was unable to stop the ranting about how they were going to lose, so he did the thing he had been wanting to do since the first time they saw each other. 

He put his hands on Nick's shoulders and stood on his tiptoes to reach the other boy's lips and kiss him. It was messy, to be honest, with noses bumping and teeth clashing, and it was over in mere seconds, but was enough for Nick to go to the match with renewed confidence. And a very, very flushed face.

When the match was over, Nick met Charlie on the spot that after that day they made their own, and asked with a very low voice if he could do that again.

"Do what again?" Charlie said, hiding his own nervousness behind the teasing.

Nick looked at him for a second, cheeks blushing again, and bit his lip before cupping Charlie's face with his hands.

"Could you kiss me again?"

A whispered "yes" was enough and they close the distance between them.

Nick's hands stayed on Charlie's face while Charlie's hands went to grab Nick's t-shirt.

This time the kiss wasn't messy. They weren't in a hurry, nor trying to make one of them stop spiralling.

They took their time, they savoured each other and tilted their heads to avoid any more nose bumps. 

When they parted, swollen lips and unsteady breathings, both of them were smiling.

From that moment on, there was not a time in which they weren't together, and before the week ended all their friends already knew something was going on. Both Nick and Charkie thought they were being completely subtle, but their smiles and loving eyes when looking at the other gave them away. 

In their group, the news about them being officially a couple were received with knowing smiles and looks, in addition to lots of love and acceptance.

They weren't hiding, but from the very beginning of their relationship they both agreed in them being on the down-low because football could be quite homophobic. 

So even if their families and close friends knew, for the rest of the world they were just the best mates ever.

Cuddled in Nick's beanbag, they have repeatedly fantasised with the moment they could behave as a couple wherever they want and whenever they want, without having to worry about somebody they didn't want to know knowing. 

While playing with Charlie's fingers, Nick even considered quitting football, because he was not sure that this path would allow him to be fully himself all the time. He didn't want to hide Charlie as if he was a secret, when the boy was actually the best thing that had ever happened in his life.

That day, Nick cried on Charlie's arms while his boyfriend reassured him about how this wasn't a permanent situation. How they were going to find a way to keep being as annoyingly in love as they were in that moment, but freer. And without Nick having to give up football.

Once the boy was calmer, they started to envision that dreamed future together, how their apartment was going to be, how they would call their cat and dog ("because there's no way I am not going to have a cat, Nicholas, I was born to be a cat owner!") or how once a week they would go have lunch with Nick's mum and dinner with Tori.

After that conversation, Nick was absently playing with Charlie's hair, looking to a framed photo of the both of them he had on his desk.

"Do you think it's weird?"

"Hm?" Charlie answered, rubbing his eyes to fully wake up since he was starting to doze off.

"Loving so much your high school boyfriend, knowing that you are going to spend the rest of your life with him because there is not any other possibility for you"

Since Nick was looking at the picture, he missed Charlie's surprised face, his eyes wide open and his mouth forming a perfect "o". He only looked at him when a minute bad passed without the other saying anything else.

"You love me?"

"Eh... Yes? Of course?" Nick frowned, realising that he has just said it. He have been thinking about it for some time now, but was afraid to say it out loud and scare Charlie. "I... Uhm... Sorry, I wasn't planning on telling you like that, I... I guess it was thinking and it... It slipped away. But I do, yeah, I love you so much, Charlie, I just... I just knew it from the beginning. And you don't have to say anything back if you are not ready and I don't want to scare you or that you feel pressured to anything but..."

"Nick, stop, Nick!" Charlie cut him, grabbing the other boy's hand, which was already on its way to scratch the back of the neck. "I am not scared. I love you too, sometimes I think I've loved you since the time you came to pick the ball even though you had to cross the whole football track" 

"I am never going to hear the end of that, right?" Nick said, feigning a frustration he didn't really felt. 

Both of the boys laughed and kissed and repeated "I love you" about a thousand times, and that was how they spent the whole evening.

And that is why this match is so important for both of them. Winning it will prove Nick's talent as a football player, in case there is still anybody who needs to be proved. Winning it will allow him to choose a good university to keep doing what he likes the most while studying what he wants to study, all with Charlie by his side. Not literally, since he still has another year in high school, but winning this match is going to make things way easier for them. 

And they are, indeed, winning, but not for much. The other team is very good too, and the difference between the both of them is minimal: one point ahead.

All the players are tired, so their plays become clumsier.

They just have to keep leading the match for two more minutes. Two more minutes and everything will be over.

The tension is so huge that there aren't even cheers and screams from the audience. Even Tao and Tori, probably the two people who care less about football in the whole world, are tense, leaning forward in their seats with the rest of the friends and family. 

There is a threaten, the other team is about to mark but one of Nick's teammates tackles him right before he can score a point.

Only one more minute.

Elle and Tara are holding hands, pompons forgotten on the floor next to their feet, and they keep muttering under their breaths "come on guys, come on".

Thirty more seconds. 

Charlie is not even sitting anymore, he is just walking from one side to another of the bench, not daring to blink in case he misses something. Today, more than any other day, he wishes that Nick is right and that he is their lucky charm.

There's a sound which marks the end of the match. 

They won.

There's a moment of silence before the whole audience and team and cheerleaders erupts in screaming and celebrating. 

The teammates try to pick Nick, but he's not having any of it and it's already running towards Charlie. He hugs him tightly and they spin around, Charlie giggling uncontrollably. 

"Nick, this is not regular friend behaviour"

"Well I don't want to behave like your friend, given that you are my boyfriend"

Charlie needs a second to understand what he is saying, and he stares at Nick in silence, not daring to make his hopes go up. When Nick smiles back at him, it's the most affectionate and pure smile in the world, and it could light the whole stadium by itself. "I'm tired of hiding, Char"

"Back to Char?"

"Oh, are you focusing on that part?" Nick jokes, making Charlie giggle again as he playfully hits his arm.

"You big silly lad, I am not, but I don't... I don't want you to feel pressured or anything, you are starting your career and you are becoming a pro and you are going to college and what if they give you a hard time because of this and..."

"Char" Nick cuts the rambling, his arms still around Carlie's waist. 

He can feel all the eyes on them, since they have been in this exact position for a while now, but he can't care at all. He has his world in his arms right now, and that's the only important thing. He looks at Charlie, trying to express with that all the things he doesn't know how to put in words. The other boy seems to understand, because after a couple of seconds the worried expression disappears and a small smile lights up his face, as he murmurs a "okay".

And then Nick knows exactly what to do. 

He tightens the grip he has around Charlie, bringing him closer, and leans over the boy until their noses are touching. "Okay, then", he says, right before closing the remaining space between them to kiss him.

Again, there is only silence around them. But they really don't care.

Charlie pours all the love he feels towards the boy in his arms in the kiss. When they break apart, they do so breathing a bit heavily and smiling to each other. Charlie's hands found their way to Nick's arms, while Nick's are still on Charlie's waist.

Nick is smiling, fully convinced of what he has just done. Charlie, surprisingly enough, feels calm, because he knows that this is going to be fine, that everything is going to be fine, and he whispers it to Nick.

They have a couple more seconds by themselves before Nick's teammates come close to them, hugging the couple and making the audience go crazy again. 

Nick looks at them surprised for a second, and Sai shrugs with a knowing smile "it was about damn time, mate".

Yes, Nick thinks, everything is going to be fine.