Chapter Text
Luke was about to finish his second drink. He hated that he was such a lightweight and was tipsy. It made drinking at the ABO party he and his friends were all heading out to in 20 minutes a much more complicated proposition. He didn’t want to be too drunk.
He got off the couch and threw his bottle in the trash. Marcus cracked a joke. Everyone burst out laughing. Luke liked Clara’s laugh the best. It was high-pitched, almost a cackle. Most called it annoying. To Luke, it was beautiful.
“We’re drinking there too, don’t get too trashed now,” Luke said, giving Darrel a look. He was on his third beer. Even though he was built more like an orange than a blue, standing at a good six feet and weighing over 200 pounds, if Luke didn’t say something now , he’d drink his way through a six-pack and end up completely trashed at the party.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s my last one,” Darrel said, waving a hand dismissively.
“I’ll make sure of it,” Lisa, Darrel’s new girlfriend, said. She brushed her brown hair out of her face. “We have a date tomorrow evening anyway. We’re not skipping it.”
“Ooh, where are you going?” Clara asked, lowering her phone. Luke looked away. He hated the sight of her sitting so comfortably on Marcus’ lap. It only reminded him of how much of a failure he was. She and he had lasted all of one month. They had had, at best, a one-week honeymoon phase. Right after that, they went into the right ‘this isn’t working’ phase of their relationship. Things ended shortly after that. Unlike their disaster of a relationship, she and Marcus were going on for three months now without any issues. It even seemed like they might pair-bond.
Luke couldn’t help but wonder — for the hundredth time — how Marcus and she managed to have a chemistry that their relationship lacked. He didn’t understand what was different between how Marcus treated her now and how he had. It would’ve been so much easier if Marcus had been more attractive than him. That would've made sense. But Marcus, Marcus — with his crooked teeth and chronically frizzy curly brown hair — was no supermodel.
No, the only explanation he had some vague notion of chemistry he didn’t understand.
He couldn’t correct something he didn’t understand. It was doubly frustrating because he knew he treated Clara like any good blue should. Just like his dad would’ve wanted. He paid her lots of attention, he doted, and he made sure to be affectionate and protective of her. He checked all the boxes and yet Clara had still left him with that frustratingly vague, unhelpful analysis of why they hadn’t worked.
“That Spanish place y’all went to? I got us a reservation,” Lisa said.
“Maybe I’ll get drunk there,” Darrel teased.
“You could, they made some strong cocktails,” Luke jumped in. He felt like he had been fifth wheeling the moment Lisa and Clara had arrived at Marcus and Darrel’s apartment. He didn’t want that feeling to dominate the rest of his night.
“You’ve gone?” Lisa asked. She sounded surprised. She gave him another once over, the third one of that evening. Luke did his best to ignore it. It was the first time Darell had brought her over to meet the rest of them. He didn’t want to assume she was being rude as a default, even if it felt like it. “Who’d you take with you?”
“I went alone. I like to treat myself sometimes. Not like I do that much else,” Luke joked.
“I bet the cocktails aren’t that strong, you’re just a lightweight,” Darrel said.
“Not all of us can be giants,” Luke retorted. It came out more defensive than he intended. He wished he could take the words back. It wasn’t Darrel’s fault that he was, for lack of better words, petite. It was just the way things were.
“I don’t know, maybe it’s because you’re built like a yellow. Not like they’re known for handling their liquor,” Lisa laughed.
Marcus sat up straight, almost knocking Clara off his lap. “Hey don’t—“
“No, it’s fine,” Luke said, holding up his hand. His chest was tightening. He hated these conversations. It would’ve been easier to let it go. He usually did. But if Lisa was going to be hanging around with them now, it was better to nip it in the bud. “What did you mean by that?”
“It’s fine. She didn’t mean to insult you,” Marcus said. “Just let it go.”
“Are you her?” Luke asked sharply.
Marcus groaned. “Come on, Luke, do you really have to do this? It was just a joke.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry, it was just a joke. You’re just — you’re kind of short? I didn’t know that was a sore spot for you. I’m sorry.”
Luke lifted his chin and pointed to the blue patch under his throat. His hands were shaking a little, but he forced the anxiety now. He knew his patch looked good. He’d touched it up before he left this evening.
“What color is that?” he asked.
“Luke, come on, just drop it,” Darrel said.
It was getting hard to breathe. Luke abandoned the rest of his prepared speech and cut to the heart of it.
“It’s blue, right? It’s fucking blue. If it’s blue, why are you implying I’m not one? There are plenty of shorter blues, and there are big yellows. You can’t just throw everyone into boxes. We have patches on our throats for a reason. And mine is fucking blue. So treat me like that.”
The room was quiet. Marcus was pinching the bridge of his nose. Clara had her eyes fixed out the window, even though the only thing of interest outside was the parking lot. Darrel had his arm wrapped tight around Lisa and was glaring at Luke. Lisa looked like someone had dumped a glass of cold water over her head.
“Okay. You’re right. I’m sorry. It was a bad joke. It won’t happen again,” Lisa said.
“Sounds good. Apology accepted,” Luke said, trying hard to keep his breath steady.
Darrel cleared his throat. “Okay, think it’s about time to get going, huh? Don’t want to be too late.”
Everyone agreed and gathered their things. Luke checked the time on his phone. 10:10. They were leaving a whole 20 minutes early. He wouldn’t dwell on it. There was no point.
The conversation picked up again as they walked to the ABO house. Luke was again consigned to the margins. He didn’t try to fight his way back in again. It was cold enough that silence was warranted anyway. 28 degrees wasn’t exactly banter weather.
The only consolation for the freezing weather was the rapidly approaching Christmas break and the two open invite parties ABO hosted for the end of the semester. At least, they were mostly open invite. There were exceptions. If you were a blue, you had to bring a girl with you. The frat guys, almost entirely oranges with a smattering of yellows, never wanted a bachelor blue hanging around their party. There was too much risk of a blue snatching up one of the girls that liked to hang around the frat. Bachelor yellows, the frat didn’t care about. Yellows were more than happy to partake in the same hookup culture the frat was steeped in.
The first time Luke had gone to one of these parties in his freshmen year, he’d thought he’d get kicked out on the spot. He was a bachelor blue without a girl or even a guy on his arm. No one at the frat seemed to care though. Even with the bright patch of blue clearly visible on his throat, even though the bachelor blue directly in front of him had been denied, the door guys had waved him in to mingle and drink.
He’d asked the door guys why they were letting him in, making sure to tilt his chin up to expose his patch in case they’d missed it. The door guys, both oranges, had shrugged and said they liked his vibes and that, so long as he didn’t try to date any of the girls, he was good. Luke had almost wanted to argue himself into being kicked out then, but he’d been an 18-year-old freshman at his first real college party. He wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. So he let it go and went to drink.
He’d thought he’d gotten a lucky break just that once. He was positive that when he showed up at the next party, he’d be denied. But even with a different set of door guys, even though it was the end of the spring semester party instead of winter, they still waved him through.
If he got in this time, it would be his 3rd (4th?) ABO party. Maybe this time, he’d get kicked out and have to walk home alone. It wasn’t like Marcus, Clara, Lisa, or Darrel were going to leave with him. He almost wanted it to happen. It would be the ultimate validation that he was a blue. Another thing to rub in Lisa’s face.
They reached frat row. Lines of gorgeous Antebellum houses — more like mansions if Luke was being honest — lined both sides of the street. A lot of the frats were having parties tonight, but ABOs was by far the biggest. They had the biggest house too, a massive two-story building of stark white paint and Doric pillars set in the dead center of frat row. A wrought iron fence wrapped around the property. Luke could see people setting up a stage just beyond it.
“Oh shit,” Lisa said, looking over her shoulder at Luke. “You’re single. I didn’t think about that until now. Aren’t you going to have issues getting in? Or are you gonna like, wear the scarf the whole time? That'd kind of suck.”
“They like me. They let me in, even though I’m single. I just can’t look to pair-bond with any of the girls. Not like that’s a problem,” Luke replied, waving a hand dismissively. “I’ve never had problems in the past.
Lisa laughed. Luke was glad to see the tension between them had cleared.
“Okay. Cool. It would just be so awkward if they said no,” she said.
They approached ABO’s house. Two door guys — a pair of built oranges --were sitting by the fence’s gate. They waved through Luke’s group without a word. They didn’t ask didn’t even ask Luke to lower his scarf.
There was a large crowd stuffed into the house. Loud music blared from a set of speakers by the stairs. He almost had a sense of deja vu from it all. He didn’t know a party could look so generic, yet ABO pulled it off every time.
He stuck around his group for a bit, chatting with them and greeting a few of their mutual acquaintances, but then Darrell and Lisa broke off to join another group. Less than a minute later, Marcus and Clara were gone as well. It was too awkward to follow either of them — he had played third wheel enough already tonight, so he found his way to the makeshift bar in the kitchen.
The bartender, a taller than average yellow with curly brown hair, was manning the bar. He asked Luke what he wanted. Luke shrugged. The bar only had liquor behind it, so as long as he got liquor, he’d be happy. The bartender gave a curt nod and mixed something up, giving a more than generous pour of cheap vodka into a red solo cup. Luke could almost feel the hangover setting in.
He accepted it anyway, stood against the wall of the kitchen, and started to drink.
It was disgusting. There was almost no world where what he was handed could pass as a vodka tonic; he may as well have been drinking straight from the bottle. But he sure as fuck wasn’t going to turn down free liquor. At least nursing it gave him a chance to figure out what to do, because right now, he was coming up empty.
The idea that kept flicking back into his head was hooking up. He’d done it a few times in the past. It’d never been all that good for him. It was always quick and dirty in a bathroom. No matter what girl he hooked up with, he ended up feeling worse after the encounter than he did before. The only reason he ever did it, was because for a brief moment, when he held a girl in his arms and they were panting in one another’s faces, he felt cared for.
The feeling always faded in less than a minute. Which was why it was probably pointless to be chasing it, to begin with. He was a blue for fucks sake. He was made for long-term relationships, no casual hookups. If anything, he should try to find a girl that might be interested in dating him and prove the frat’s ‘no bachelor blues’ policy reasonable.
Dating was an even worse shit show than hookups though. After Clara had broken up with him, he’d gone on two separate dates with two different girls. Both of them had been awful. They hadn’t turned into second dates, let alone relationships. They’d been nothing but a waste of time.
Luke was losing the energy to try and find someone. He told himself he had time. Sure, most blue’s found their mate in college or high school, the stats were something like 80 percent, but that meant 20 percent of blues had to wait a bit longer for theirs. 20 percent was a sizeable number. It wasn’t hard to imagine he was in that 20 percent. College just might not be his time.
So if he wasn’t going to find someone in college, he may as well enjoy some hookups. A little bit of affection was better than nothing at all. Who knew, he might even have a good experience for once. He was at the party anyway. It wasn’t like he was going anywhere.
Luke choked down the rest of his drink, then approached the bar for another. The yellow grinned and poured him a tall shot. Luke tossed it back. It almost came right back out, but he managed to hold it down. He wished he had gotten chased for it.
He stumbled away from the bar and returned to the party proper. His head was starting to get fuzzy and his body was nice and loose. That was…four drinks? Something like that now. It was enough for him to push aside all the reasons why he shouldn’t hook up and just live in the moment.
Suddenly, the music blaring from the speaker inside the house died. A few seconds later, he heard someone strum a guitar and start talking into a microphone. He followed the noise outside the house and into the cold. A band was taking the stage. More people were trickling out of the house to watch. Luke settled in the outskirts of the crowd.
The band started to play. They were great, as far as Luke could tell. Then again, everything seemed pretty good when you were drunk. The crowd seemed to agree. People started to dance. Luke was drunk enough that he could push aside the anxiety he normally felt and join them. It wasn’t like he had to be good at dancing. All he had to do was try.
Luke was good at this sort of trying, where effort was all that was required to succeed. At that moment, drunk and swaying to some college band that was bound to break up when they graduated, Luke felt a little at peace.
Someone tapped him on the shoulder. Luke turned and opened his eyes. A girl, around his height, with curly chestnut-colored hair and a face full of freckles, was standing there smiling at him. Unlike a lot of the girls at the party, she was dressed sensibly for the weather, in a pair of jeans and a thick jacket. She shot him a questioning look, then carefully took his hands and put them on her hips.
Luke nodded and smiled.
They started to dance.
As they danced, the girl moved closer and closer, until her chest was pressed flush against Luke’s and they were doing more grinding than dancing. The music wasn’t suited for it. Luke hardly cared. The girl had him entranced.
The girl stopped dancing. Luke paused with her. Before he could ask what she wanted, she lifted a finger, tapped her nose, then touched his scarf. At once, he knew what she wanted. Luke pulled his scarf down.
The girl put her nose right against his scent gland, just a bit below his pulse point. It was a blatant compatibility test. There was no better way to find out if you had chemistry with someone than shoving your nose in their neck and taking in their scent. Usually, you scented family, someone you were dating, or, if you were into hookups, someone you wanted to fuck. Luke assumed this was a test for the last option.
The girl inhaled deeply. Luke held his breath. He didn’t know if he wanted to have sex, but he wanted this girl to be impressed by him. He wanted to feel important.
The girl pulled away and smiled wide, then tilted her head to the side and offered her neck.
Luke had passed. He felt a burst of pride explode in his chest. He’d passed her test and now it was his turn. He got to scent a beautiful girl.
He put his nose to the girl's gland. She smelled wonderful, better than even Clara had. It reminded him of sunflowers in full bloom. He wanted more.
The girl seemed to too. She grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the house. Luke followed. They dodged past the crush of bodies and up the pair of overwrought, curved staircases to the second story. There were much fewer people up there. Those that were, seemed like they were a part of the frat. None of them seemed to care that he and the girl were up there though. They didn’t even say anything when the girl led him into a room and shut the door behind them.
“I’m Natalie,” the girl said. She unzipped her coat and wiggled out of it. Her voice was soft, like a waterfall of silk. In the light of the room, Luke noticed she had warm, soft hazel eyes.
“Luke,” he replied. He looked around the room. It was someone’s bedroom. He had no idea if they were allowed in here, but the girl seemed more than confident for the both of them, and Luke didn’t want to fuck up his chances of what was about to happen.
Natalie reached up and unwound his scarf. She frowned as she revealed the bright blue of his patch. “You’re not a yellow?” she asked.
Luke cringed. “Nope. As blue as they come.”
“Oh, are you— is your partner here? Are you cheating on them?” she asked. She sounded suspicious. She took a big step back.
“No, I don’t have anyone. I promise. The guys here just— they don’t mind that I’m a blue and I’m single. They let me in any way.”
“Huh. Probably cause you look like you’re a yellow.”
“Can you not? I know I kind of look like one, but I’m really not a yellow.” He was tempted to push the issue further like he’d done with Lisa, but he was probably going to see Natalie once, and lecturing his hookup was a sure way to make sure he didn’t get laid and didn’t get any of the affection he was craving.
“Right, shit, sorry.” Natalie let out a nervous laugh and swept a piece of her hair out of her face. “I’m about to possibly say something fucking stupid again, but bear with me. I’m not looking for anything long-term with a blue. That’s a bit too messy for me. So if you want something more than a hookup—“
“We can hook up. It’s fine.” Luke interrupted. “I don’t expect anything more and I’m not gonna come chasing after you afterwards. I promise.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah, it’ll be fine. I’ve hooked up before. Some blues do, you know. There are exceptions to everything.” Luke didn’t know if he was trying hard to convince her or himself.
Natalie bit her lip. Luke couldn’t help but stare. Her lips were very plump and pink. He wanted to kiss them.
“Okay. If you’re sure. By the way, we’re not pressed for time. This is my…friend Eric’s room,” Natalie said.
“And he’s fine with us…doing it on his bed?” Luke asked.
Natalie laughed. “Yup. He doesn’t care. I got the okay from him about this kind of stuff before. He’s more a possessive orange, but the worst that’ll happen is he’ll want to fuck me later too. He’s not going to try and fuck with you or anything. I wouldn’t let that happen. He knows how to behave.” She pulled off her shirt and grinned. “But just because we have plenty of time doesn’t mean I don’t want to get started now. Take off your clothes.”
Luke hurried to obey.
Natalie had her clothes off faster than he did. He had taken off his jeans and had his shirt halfway over his head when she planted a hand on his chest and pushed him onto the bed. Luke managed to get his shirt off and tossed it to the floor. Natalie forced him to crawl up the bed so his legs were fully on it, before she took a seat on his lap, her lap pressed firmly against his groin. With a coy smile, she cocked her head to the side and looked at him.
Luke drank in the sight of her in turn. There were far fewer freckles on her chest and stomach than on her shoulders and face, but they were here and there. He wanted to kiss every single one. Her breasts were small, but Luke liked that. They would fit nicely in his hands. He wanted to touch them, but the way she was looking at him had him pinned. It seemed like a better idea to wait for instructions.
“You’re pretty. Can I say that, or are you going to get offended?” Natalie asked. She extended a finger and dragged it down his chest. “You have such nice skin. Do you do anything with it?”
“I moisturize sometimes,” Luke said.
“Lucky,” she said. Her eyes flicked to where his hands were resting at his sides. “You’re not touching me.”
He raised his hands.
“Put them down.”
He dropped them instantly. She laughed. Her eyes grew darker. “Oh, I’m going to have so much fun with you.”
Luke swallowed hard. This was new. All the girls he had slept with in the past had wanted him to take the lead. None of them seemed eager to provide instruction like Natalie was.
“You’re going to eat me out,” Natalie declared. “And if you do a good enough job, I’ll think about something for you too. Does that sound fair?”
Luke nodded eagerly. That sounded great. Giving oral was one of his favorite things to do. It was the part where people wanted to do stuff with his dick that he didn’t like.
“Can I hold your hips?” he asked. He sounded breathless. He was hard, but that was taking more away from the experience than it added to it. He wished it wasn’t there.
Natalie tapped her chin. “No. I like you holding still for me. But I’m about to sit on your face, so if you need a break, feel free to tap me.”
His mouth went dry. This was seriously happening. Fuck. Fuck. Natalie crawled up his body until her cunt hovered above his mouth, then back down on her knees.
Luke set out to work. She wasn’t very wet yet, but he would fix that. They had just started, after all.
Natalie laced her fingers through his hair and pulled. He moaned. His whole body was so taught. His stomach kept doing pleasure flips. He was drowning and he loved it.
She released his hair and smoothed her hands down it once, twice, then pulled again, forcing his head even further against her cunt. It was electric. The pain made him feel so alive. Luke moaned and tried to suck at her clit to show his appreciation
“Little masochist. Fuck, that’s hot,” Natalie said, pulling away to give him air. Luke panted. He wanted her on him again more than he wanted air.
“You can touch me now. You’ve earned it,” Natalie said.
Luke grabbed her hips and brought her cunt back to his mouth. All the embarrassment he’d before had faded. All that mattered was making Natalie come, making her feel good. He wanted to listen to her fall apart.
And fall apart she did.
After another minute, Natalie’s whole body went rigid as she out her loudest moan yet. It was the hottest thing Luke had ever heard. It made him feel better than any orgasm ever had. He’d done that for her. He’d made her feel that good.
Natalie got off of him, then snuggled into his side. She snuck one of her legs between his and brought her lips to his ear. “Know what would be hot? If you grinded against my leg and got off like that. Do you want to do that for me?” she whispered.
He ached. Touching himself would probably feel good, but there was just as high of a risk that it’d make him feel like shit and send him spiraling down. Better not to risk it. Being touched himself was always where things went wrong.
“It’s okay if the answer is no,” Natalie said. She sounded much less domineering now. “I’m not going to push you to do something you don’t want to.”
Luke had never had a girl worried about pushing him. It was nice. “Yeah, I think it’s a no. I don’t really want to do anything down there.” He cringed. Somehow, he’d found the most awkward way to say that.”
“No problem. Can I kiss you though?” she asked.
“Yeah. That’s fine.”
Their kiss was soft and dry. Luke liked it. He didn't want to make out. Honestly, he just wanted to cuddle.
“I needed that,” Natalie said. She gave him a final kiss on the cheek before she rested her head on his chest. I’ve been so stressed lately.”
“Finals?” Luke asked, glancing down at her. He was struck again by her eyes — a mix of green and brown with gold flecks close to her pupil. He’d never seen anything like it. He could stare for hours and never get bored.
“Not really,” she said. She had no issues with meeting his eyes. Somehow, that felt more intimate than her riding his face.
“Then what?”
“You really want to know?” she asked.
“Why not?”
She laughed. “I should be taking care of you after what we just did, not the other way around.”
“I’m okay. I want to know,” he repeated.
She shut her eyes and sighed. Luke used the chance to look away. “Okay. Fine. I did all my chores. Done. Nothing left to do. Now, I need to pick a major,” Natalie said.
“Okay?”
“And I have no idea what the fuck to do,” Natalie continued. “My parents are both doctors, and they want me to do the whole pre-med route. Get a degree in biology or whatever and hop right into med school after graduating. And that’s an okay plan, but…I don’t know, the medical shit has been around me my whole life and I don’t think I care? I’d do fine, I’d probably be a good doctor, and it’s a really good career, but it’s just— ugh.” She lifted her head, then let it drop back onto his chest. “I don’t know, I’m going to let them down if I do something else. My siblings became doctors and nurses. The family could run a fucking hospital by itself, but then there is me and I’m just…I don’t know if that’s what I want”
Luke nodded. “I get that.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I—“ He paused. What he was about to say was, objectively too personal for someone he’d just met, but the sex was good and he could almost smell how upset Natalie was. He was only going to see her this once anyway. What was the harm?
“My dad wasn’t big on the college thing. He said it was a waste of money. He wanted me to stay and run his garage with him, in this crappy little town in a county in rural Georgia that no one cares about. He was all I had growing up after my mom left. I didn’t have any siblings, and school was…I didn’t have that many friends.” He laughed bitterly. “So his opinion meant a lot. It was important. I was gonna stay.
“But then when I graduated, I took a walk around my town, looked around, and realized that I didn’t want to be stuck here. That I wanted something more. So I took the risk and left for school. I have to pay for all of it myself because dad sure as fuck isn’t helping. But all that to say, it’s easy to play it safe, but sometimes, the risk is worth it. You don’t want to die having always played it safe. What kind of life is that? If you don’t want to be a doctor, then don’t be. Go do something else. Don’t make yourself miserable just to make someone else happy.”
Natalie was quiet next to him. Luke was terrified that he’d gotten too sentimental. What hookup wanted life advice after they just had sex? This was the worst pillow talk ever. He should leave the room. Spare himself the embarrassment of trying to explain that he was only trying to help.
“Hmm,” Natalie hummed.
“Is that a good hmm?” Luke asked. He couldn’t keep the anxiety out of his voice.
Natalie kissed him on the nose. “Yeah. It’s a good hmm. I’ve heard something like that before. But you put it in a good way. I’ll think about it. Not that I have much of a choice.” She laughed. “By the way, we should get going. Eric might come back soon, and better to dodge that whole thing, yeah?”
They both got up and dressed. Luke was glad he had satisfied, but he wanted to lay in bed and cuddle longer. He wanted more than just the hookup. Which is exactly why he shouldn’t have done it.
Natalie didn’t though, he reminded himself. She wasn’t looking for a blue. She just wanted to hook up. When she got older, she would probably be one of the women who found a few close friends or girlfriends and raised her kids — if she ever had them — with them. That was the most common way girls who were attracted to oranges ended up. Most oranges weren’t much interested in child-rearing. Neither were yellows.
Dad had made sure to hammer that into his head.
Before Natalie led him out of her room, she gave him another kiss. Luke was left staring after her, feeling cold and lonely, his brief burst of feeling cared for quickly burning out.