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V kept wandering around the apartment, tears streaming down her face. She was mostly quiet, eerily so, but every few paces were punctuated by a hitched breath, a stifled whimper, and finally, a strangled cry. Almost inaudible, unless you'd been tethered to her psyche for months, she muttered, "my baby, my sweet baby," over and over again before falling silent once more. She'd poured fresh food into Nibbles' bowl again, this morning, followed by a fresh bowl of water. God knows she wasn't eating or drinking herself, but twice a day, like clockwork, she refreshed the tiny bowls, even knowing they would never be emptied, save by her.
Johnny knew there was nothing he could do to help. Hell, he'd done more than his fair share of silent weeping since they'd seen the little gremlin off. It was a world bereft of animal companionship and he, as a relic of an era before that emptiness, was uniquely suited to mourn their loss. Somehow though, even given all that, V was taking it harder than him by an order of magnitude. She was inconsolable, a walking martyr, doing nothing in her waking hours but suffering. His hardened little merc was blown open, raw and trembling, the keening mourner at a neverending wake.
Psychologists say there are two ways of making memories, you can focus on the negatives and forever after you'll only recall the worst times, or you can focus on the positives and cement a legacy of goodness from your past. Despite all of his former habits, this one time, he tried his damndest to do the latter.
Watching V break down again, sinking to her knees in front of the entryway, he cleared his throat to speak.
"Remember when we first found him?" He ventured softly, "You'd just left the food out and were still crouched down next to the bowl? The little muppet walked up to eat and we were both holding our breath to see what would happen... He walked up and, instead of eating, he padded over to you and climbed right up into your lap." V chuckled and Johnny could still remember her face as it lit up. He'd never seen her look like that before and only once after, when he'd opened his eyes in his new/old body... even when he'd finally admitted to loving her, that look was more pure, but he couldn't resent it, 'cause he'd felt it too... that night, when he was still just a ghost, the cat had turned in circles twice before looking up at his little merc and then, seemingly satisfied, the cat had laid right down, doing his best impression of a perfect little cinnamon roll, and begun purring. Johnny had laughed his ass off, soon after, as V tried her damndest not to fall on her ass, stuck in the world's most uncomfortable position, crouched and shaking from muscle fatigue, trying not to disturb the sleeping animal.
V's eyes lit up as she turned to Johnny. "Remember when we decided to take him home?" Johny laughed despite himself. Of course he fucking remembered, gonk ass feline was even more trusting than V and that was saying something. "'Course I do. You unwrapped that scop burrito, put it in the cage, and the little gonkbrain just walked right into the trap like god's own mark," he chuckled.
V chokes on her laughter. "Easiest job I ever took..." she said, expression rueful as her gaze broke from Johnny, staring into space, lost in thought. He almost had her, so he barreled onward...
"Little fucker sure did hate lettin' ya get a shower in alone..." he muttered, hoping she would take the bait.
V smiled, far off gaze returning from the abyss to something sweeter. "He always wanted me to bathe him in the mornings. Y'know, I was a kid, I read all those old National Geographics my dad had... thought cats hated water..."
Johnny smiled, "Maybe so, but he loved a free grooming session more. Woulda given my right arm for that many free baths from you." He mused, remembering V crouching down to rub warm, soapy water into his skin, rinsing him gently and wrapping him in her towel, spending untold precious moments drying and lotioning his skin before her own...
"You know what I'll miss the most?" V whispered, not daring to meet Johnny's gaze... "I'll miss waking up to him, opening my eyes and pushing the blankets off, already angry about getting up, only to have him reach his arm out and put his paw on my lips, holding me down where he knew I'd rather stay... chirping, 'good morning, now go back to bed...'"
Johnny moved from where he'd been sitting, wrapping his arms around her. 'Guess I'll have to pick up the slack, then" he whispered. V smiled balefully and they both knew she was not done crying...