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If you asked Izzy Hands why he signed up to be basically the entire tech department for the “queer theatre troop” he’d say it’d look good on his resume. If you were Fang or Ivan, he’d probably tell you it was because someone needed to look out for Edward. If you knew Izzy though, and I mean really knew him, it was because he loved the stage.
He loved the drama, the performance, the magic of it all. Everything about the world of theatre was amazing to him. When he was still young, foolish and hopeful, he wanted to be an actor. He wanted to perform more than anything. It was his greatest joy in life. After years and years of being shoved to the sidelines, however, he decided to take what he could and threw himself into the tech side of things instead.
It was fine. It didn’t have the same electrifying buzz that being on stage did but it scratched the itch well enough. At least he was still a part of it.
He had fought tooth and nail for every scholarship possible but it ended feeling like wasted effort since his parents had refused to have their son waste money on a theatre degree. So instead, he followed their wishes for him and went into business administration, allowing his passions to slide to the backburner. He was able to snag an on-campus job as one of the performing arts departments' building crew, working under the watchful eyes of Professor Jackie. For a time, that scratched the itch and also made him a meager bit of money that he was pocketing away to allow him the ability to move out one day.
He had heard about The Revenge when he was just a freshmen. The queer student lead preforming arts club was gaining a bit of a cult following in a few select circles around campus. There was a bit of an appeal there but he was too closeted and stressed to even think about encountering the tiny troop. Well, that was until he met Edward Teach.
Edward Teach was a hell of a man and Izzy fell in love with him almost instantly. He was an accounting major which had been the reason they both met in ACC 103, managerial accounting, freshmen year. When the man plopped himself down into the empty chair next to him, Izzy was ready to start some shit. He had taken his earbuds out, turned with a snarl on his lips and a cutting remark to match but those died on his tongue the moment Izzy looked at him.
A tight black t-shirt that stretched over a muscular form with tattoos that running up tan skin met his eyes. Long black wavy hair was thrown up into a messy bun that gave him this effortless attractiveness that sent Izzy reeling. He swallowed suddenly feeling very parched.
“Sorry, mate.” Even his accented voice sent shivers down Izzy’s spine. “But I always sit in this seat in this lecture hall. Guess we’ll be desk buddies.”
“Yeah.” He said in a breathy tone. “Guess we will.”
The first week after their meeting, Edward brought in two travel cups from the college’s café and placed one right next to Izzy. Izzy raised an eyebrow in question as Edward began to add a little pile of creamer and sugar packets next to the cup.
“What are you doing?” Edward smiled at the question.
“Well I didn’t know what you drank so I just got you a small black coffee and I thought I’d bring you the cream and sugar just in case there was anything you wanted to add.”
Izzy blinked at the man in surprise.
“You didn’t have to do that.” He said softly, a little touched by the gesture.
Izzy was known to mostly keep to himself on campus. He didn’t really have many friends . He had Ivan and Fang who worked with him under Jackie but they were more just work acquaintances than actual friends.
“Yeah, I know.” He said as he sipped his own coffee. “I did it cause I wanted to.”
“Thank you.” He picked up the small cup and began to drink. It was good, well as good as campus coffee could be, and warm. He looked back at Edward to see him staring at him strangely. He raised an eyebrow.
“What?”
“Just should have known you were the kind of freak who drinks their coffee black.” Izzy rolled his eyes.
“Fuck off.” If the insult sounded a bit fond, no one was going to say anything.
The third week into their strange little friendship, Edward learned a bit about Izzy’s secret passion.
“Whatcha listening to?” Izzy snarled as Edward popped one of his earbuds out of his ears and placed it in his own.
“Hey!” Of all the days for him to be listening to his fucking musical theatre playlist.
“Rocky Horror?” Edward asked softly, causing Izzy to blush bright red. “Thought you’d be more of a Sweeney Todd kinda guy.”
“Fuck off.” He grumbled as he glared down at his notes.
“Hey,” The softness in Edward’s voice caused Izzy’s gaze to be drawn back up, meeting the other man’s eyes.
He was smiling. It wasn’t a tease or a smirk like it usually was when he spoke. This one felt a little more genuine. A little more real.
“I like Rocky Horror. Was just a bit of a surprise to hear ‘Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me’ when you were looking so seriously over your notes.”
“It’s my theatre playlist.” Izzy explained, lamely. “I’ve listened to it too many times to really process it unless I'm actively seek it out. Helps with nerves and shit, I guess.”
“Oh, so you are a musical fan?” Izzy felt his cheeks burn a few degrees hotter at the innocent question. He could only nod since he was busy choking on his embarrassment. “Nice. Don’t really know many that are into the whole drama thing in my major. It’s cool.”
“It’s cool?” He repeated back, dumbly. “You don’t think it's…”
“What? Gay?” Edward asked and Izzy really wished that the ground would swallow him whole. “Didn’t ya hear? Theatre isn’t just for the gays anymore. And even if it was, I’m pretty fucking gay myself so, if the shoe fits.”
“You’re gay?” Izzy asked, genuinely surprised but the statement probably didn’t quite come out that way based on how Edward’s eyes narrowed.
“That gonna be a problem?” He asked, his voice was unnaturally calm but held this edge to it that made Izzy feel like a cornered rabbit. He shook his head.
“No. I am too.” He admitted in a rush, still staring at him with wide eyes. He felt his anxiety spike a bit since he just outed himself, like an idiot. He attempted to change the topic. “I just-You don’t seem-”
That got him to chuckle softly.
“Yeah man, I’m not super flamboyant and campy. Not every gay is like that. Hell, you don’t exactly fit the stereotypical queer mold either, ya know. Little hypocritical of you, mate.”
“Fuck off, Edward.”
When the semester had finally reached its end, Izzy was honestly kind of depressed. Yeah he didn’t love accounting but it was his one time a week that he was guaranteed to spend time with Edward. There was an entire summer break in between this semester and the next. Who was to say that Edward would even want to be around him anymore after that? The two of them finished their finals at around the same time and where Izzy expected a handshake or a goodbye, Edward instead grabbed him by the elbow.
“You doing anything after this?”
“Um, no that was my last final actually.”
“Perfect.” He said with a crazed grin. “Can I buy you a cup of coffee?”
If there was one thing that anyone knew about Lucius Spriggs, it was that he wanted too much. Lucius was known for being the “campus slut.” It was a title that some catty sophomore girls had spat at him during his freshmen year and it stuck. He wore it like a badge of honor. When asked how he could be proud of such an egregious taunt he’d answer “why wouldn’t I want everything this world can offer?” His sins of greed were not just limited to his partners in the bedroom. Oh, no. Lucius’s greed expanded far beyond that. He wanted to be able to live life to the absolute fullest.
His college experience was the first time he was no longer under anyone’s thumb and he planned to exploit that at every corner he could. He did a little bit of everything on campus. His favorite activity though had been joining The Revenge stage productions. For Five Lesbians Eating a Quiche, he was mostly just a costume tech for Stede Bonnet, the student director for that year. It was actually really nice. He bonded with the cast and crew a lot more than he had thought that he would. Frenchie and Wee John ended up taking their ‘fledgling’ costume tech under their wing. Over the course of the production he felt like he was part of one big queer family. It was a bit of a surprise when he was approached by the upperclassmen to direct the next year's play. He couldn’t possibly refuse such an honor. Especially once he had actually read the material.
Carmilla was tragic and sexy and repressed and undeniably queer. It was everything that Lucius wanted theatre to be. The chance to be able to color this production through his own eyes would be the highlight of his sophomore year. With such a lofty dream hanging above him, Lucius couldn’t help but strive for perfection. Before his sophomore year started, he added a theatre minor to his communications degree.
When the fall semester began, Lucius’s mind was working over time as he carefully crafted what he wanted his rendition of Carmilla to be like. His desk was covered in sketches of what he’d like Carmilla’s outfit to look like, the props for the play, the set design, and various scribbles of notes for the lighting. When auditions finally rolled around he was practically buzzing with anticipation. Stede laughed softly at his young friend.
“I’m happy you’re so excited, Lucius.” He chuckled. “But I want to make sure you’re aware that The Revenge rarely gets students outside our already established circle. So it’d be a good idea to keep that in mind while at tonight's open auditions. It will probably just be the usual crowd.”
“Even so, I have a lot of plans! John and Frenchie are going to absolutely die when I show them the designs I have in mind for everyone’s costumes.” Lucius said with a wide grin, flipping open his sketch book to show the upperclassman, who oohed and ahed in delight.
“I knew I was leaving The Revenge in safe hands.” Lucius preened a bit at the praise. This production was going to be the start to a very long and loving career in theatre. Lucius could just feel it.
“Edward, are you sure you want to do this?” Izzy asked for what had to be the twelfth time as the two walked to the smaller theater on the other side of campus.
“Yes, Iz. I’m 100% positive that this is something I want to do.” He answered. “Have you thought about what I said?”
“I’m not being an actor in the queer theatre group, Ed.” Izzy said flatly. Just the mere idea of it being public knowledge that he was in the cast made the man feel like he was going to break out into hives. “When you get in, I’ll offer my services as tech crew and that’s all.”
“When I get in? Don’t you mean if? ”
“No.” Izzy answered without thought. “You’re perfect for Carmilla, Ed. If they can’t see that then they’re all a bunch of useless fucking fuckers.”
Rehearsals weren’t too bad all things considered. Lucius was very proud of his casting choices and the determination of his tech and costume crew. He was unsure of Izzy, at first, but it didn’t take him long to realize his bark was worse than his bite.
He had seen a lot of people like Izzy back home. Men who were so utterly repressed that they slowly poisoned themselves with their violent denials of who they really were. It was heartbreaking to know that there were so many people like that in the world. Lucius very easily could have been one of them if he had chosen to stay home. But he wasn’t back there anymore. He was at college. He was building a new home for himself and he wanted to help Izzy do the same.
He pushed the upperclassmen to be more involved with the production than Stede had when Buttons teched for them last year. He made sure that Izzy spent a lot of time with Frenchie and John, under the guise of making sure that whatever fabrics are chosen for costumes they’d look good under various shades of the spotlights. It was more due to the fact that Frenchie was a god sent at getting people to be more relaxed and John didn’t take shit from anyone. They would tease and prod at the other man but it would be pretty tame. Izzy never got actually upset. He would kick up a fuss but when questioned if he was genuinely upset by whatever events occurred with the costume techs, he’d just grumble out a soft 'fuck off.' So the cast and crew slowly got pretty decent at speaking Izzy Hands. It wasn’t too hard of a dialect to learn.
“Izzy?” Lucius called softly as he sat in the back of the theater with the other crew. He only got a low grunt in response as the man’s eyes burned into Stede and Edward on stage. “You alright?”
The question seemed to surprise him as he finally pushed back to look at the director.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Lucius tried to sound nonchalant as he leaned over the seats to speak more quietly into Izzy’s ear. “Just the fact that you’re staring at Edward like you want to eat him alive, which- ok fair, while also glaring at Stede like you’re trying to give him a heart attack with your mind.”
The shorter man whipped around and snarled.
“I am not- ”
“What are you more mad about?” Lucius interrupted, keeping his voice low so only Izzy would hear. “The fact that I called you out for lowkey hating Stede because you're jealous or the fact that I picked up on the fact you’re at least a little gay?”
Izzy snarled lowly but didn’t move. Lucius hummed before turning to Jim.
“Run Carmilla and Laura scenes for me for a bit?” He asked sweetly only to receive an eyeroll and a flick of their wrist, waving him off. “You’re the best!”
He then grabbed Izzy’s wrist and pulled him out into the hall.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Izzy snapped. “We need to be taking notes and-”
“Izzy, you don’t have to be weird about being kinda queer with us. We’re the queer theatre troop for fuck sake. ” Lucius said, keeping his voice low and even. “I’m not telling you to jump up on stage and wave a pride flag but you need to know that we aren’t going to judge you here.”
“You don’t know shit about me, Spriggs.” Izzy snarled as he got up into Lucius’s face. Lucius fought meaner dogs back home so he was not about to back down from this.
“I know more than you think.” He said evenly. “You were probably shoved so far into the closet back home you never even had the chance to figure out anything about yourself beyond what your family wanted you to be. Edward was probably the first queer attractive guy you’ve ever seen that wasn’t also trying to hide himself. So you’ve imprinted on him and I can’t fault you for having good taste but what I do take issue with is you snarling and growling like a rabid dog that has had his favorite bone taken away.”
Izzy stumbled back as if he was struck but Lucius was not going to let him run away from this.
“You are not a bad person for being jealous Izzy but I see the way you treat Stede when he’s around Ed and if you want to keep him in your life you can’t keep doing that. Stede and Ed like each other. You can see it as clearly as I do with their chemistry, can’t you? It goes beyond just the two of them acting. I know that Edward is important to you but you can’t try to claim him like you are. If you two aren’t dating, you have no right. So, are you two exclusively dating? Because if you are, I will march my little ass back in there and give that man one hell of a tongue lashing.”
Izzy stared at Lucius in silence before slowly dropping his head, glaring at the ground beneath him.
“No.” He said quietly through gritted teeth. “We aren’t dating.”
“Okay.” Lucius said softly as he gently put a hand on Izzy's shoulder. He fully expected to be slapped away but, surprisingly, Izzy let him. “I’m really not trying to make you feel like shit here, Iz, but I’ve watched you torment yourself for weeks watching those two flirt with each other and you don’t deserve that. I know there isn’t anything we can really do about you seeing them flirt in character because they are Laura and Carmilla but-”
“It’s fine.” Izzy said offhandedly as he seemed to pull himself together. A firm mask for nothing but business placed heavily upon his face. “It’s part of the job.”
Izzy moved to brush past him but Lucius leaned forward to grab his arm. Izzy froze before turning to him with a raised eyebrow. The roles were reversed now as Lucius was leaning into Izzy's space.
“Is the lecture not over?” He asked in a slightly bitchy tone. Lucius could respect it. He gave his arm a little squeeze.
“If Edward can’t see how wonderful and attractive you are, know that the rest of the world is nowhere near so blind.” Izzy’s eyes widened at his serious tone. He tried to scoff, to laugh and brush off the comment but it rang false.
“What? Are you offering?”
“I could be.” Lucius said, keeping his tone exactly the same as before. “If you were interested.”
Izzy’s cheeks became dusted in a bit of pink and Lucius found himself wanting to lean forward and see if they tasted as sweet as they looked. Izzy just brushed off his hand and turned.
“Fuck off, Lucius.” He said but his voice held none of its usual fire. No, now it sounded almost fond. Lucius couldn’t help but smile softly as he watched the other man walk back into the theater.
“You’re what?!” Lucius all but snarled into the phone causing all the other actors and tech crew to look at him, worriedly.
“We’re both in the hospital.” Edward at least had the fucking decency to sound sorry. “We ended up breaking our legs and-”
“How the actual fuck did you two both break your fucking legs?! ”
“Technically, they’re sprained ankles but it was all very romantic, Lucius!” He heard Stede chirp from the background. That should have been a sign that Lucius was screaming far too loudly but at this point he couldn’t give less of a fuck. “Ed drove me up to the rose garden up at the catholic women’s college to try and get our minds right for the evening and well- I decided to take your advice and just go for it but I tripped like an idiot and-”
“No, love, it was kind of adorable actually.” Edward interrupted, shushing his lover softly. “Watching you look at me with so much love and determination. I saw that you were going to fall and I just couldn’t let you get hurt. I’m glad I helped cushioned your landing. Just wish my leg didn’t hurt so fucking much now.”
“Oh Ed, you’re so sweet-”
“Guys!” Lucius snapped. “I am so happy you were able to figure your bullshit out, really I am, but I am down my two leading actors and the show goes on in two hours!”
“But Lucius, can’t you cover my parts?” Stede asked gently. “You were running lines with me for months! Plus we had all those character study days together. I know you know the part inside and out.”
“Yeah- I guess I could- but that would still leave us down Carmilla and-”
“Izzy can do it.” Edward answered which caused Lucius to laugh. “No, Lucius, I’m serious. He ran lines with me too. He knows the part. I know he does. Plus he has like the entire thing memorized because he’s been running tech mostly by himself. Plus Fang has been shadowing Izzy for the past two weeks since he was thinking about getting into this next year!”
“You really think that Izzy would be willing to play Carmilla?” Lucius muttered in disbelief.
“Give him the phone and I swear he’ll do it.” Lucius bit his lip anxiously as he glanced at the man currently going over lighting changes with Fang. He sighed as he realized he didn’t have much of a choice.
“Izzy!” He shouted, causing the shorter man to raise an eyebrow at him. “Ed wants to talk to you!”
Those were apparently the magic words because it seemed like the man had just materialized next to him as he took the phone from Lucius’s hands.
“Edward?” He was silent for a minute before his face shifted between a myriad of emotions. “You fucking- With Bonnet?!- Edward, how could you be so- What?!- But I- Yes, but- But I don’t think- Edward, I can’t- Alright. Alright. Fine.”
Izzy shoved the phone back into Lucius’s hands before walking over to Frenchie and Wee John.
“Think you two could pull some magic and make Edward’s costume fit me?” The two men, who were mostly in costume anyway, smiled like twin Cheshire cats.
“Oh,” Frenchie said, mischievously. “I think we can make something work.”
Lucius stared at himself in the mirror, feeling strange. He had never acted on stage before but the crew assured him that he would be great. The thing was he couldn’t just be great. Laura was the lead. In every sense of the word. She had so many lines. He knew them all but knowing the lines and being able to accurately act them out were two very different things. She was sweet and innocent and Lucius was very much not. He took a slow deep breath.
He met his gaze in the mirror and really took in the way that he looked. The costume choices were to keep Laura looking young and innocent. His pants were a soft tan, his shirt a plain white button up with a baby blue cardigan thrown over it. The cardigan was actually a bit oversized since it was Stede’s but that just ended up adding to the overall sweetness of it. He looked like any Christian mother’s dream. Sweet, polite, and clean. Lucius couldn’t be any more different from this person. He paused when he realized that that didn’t mean that he wasn’t this person at one time. He began to think about Laura, about her story, and he realized that maybe they weren’t so different.
Laura was forced into the box of being the classic “good girl” by her father, by society as a whole really. She was fine with that for a time but it wasn’t until she was introduced to another way to live. Carmilla set Laura’s soul on fire. She made Laura want to misbehave. She made Laura want to be different. It was that fire for Carmilla, at the end of it all, that sparked Laura to do all she could to escape the life that she once knew. At the end of the play she was finally off to live life free. Lucius couldn’t deny that he could see himself in that kind of story.
“You ready, Lu?” Pete asked softly, pulling Lucius from his thoughts. He took a slow deep breath before nodding.
“Yeah. I think I am.”
Izzy was not ready for this. He pressed himself against the brick wall of the left wing of the stage as he struggled to breathe. He hadn’t been on a stage in god knows how long and now he was thrust into the spotlight and expected to be this sexy mysterious lead? How the fuck was he going to pull this off? He wasn’t sexy. He wasn’t mysterious. Ed was the perfect person for this role. How the hell was he going to measure up to-
“Hey,” His eyes snapped up to see Pete looking at him worriedly. “Breathe. You’re going to do just fine.”
“That’s easy for you to say.” Izzy growled. “You’re not playing the ‘mysterious, sexy, cool’ lead when you are, in fact, none of those fucking things. ”
“I disagree.” Pete said but before Izzy could argue he put his hand on his shoulder. “Regardless, isn’t that the fun part of acting? Being able to be someone you aren’t? When you go out there, you aren’t Izzy Hands anymore. You’re Carmilla. And you are going to go out there and seduce the shit out of Laura. ”
Izzy stared at him with wide eyes. He was right, in a way. It was one of the reasons he had fallen in love with theatre in the first place. When he would sing along to his playlist, he wasn’t Izzy Hands, the family punching bag. He wasn’t Izzy Hands, the closeted gay kid. No. He could be Noel Gruber, the most romantic boy in town. He could be Emmet Forest, the poor law student who fought tooth and nail for his happy ending. He could be Carmilla, the sexy mysterious vampire woman.
“That’s your cue.” Pete said gently before giving Izzy a bit of a shove towards the stage. He stumbled for just a moment before he straightened his back and closed his eyes. He could be Carmilla. When his eyes opened once more, he strutted onto the stage as if he owned it.
When Izzy came out onto the stage, Lucius didn’t have to fake the shocked look on his face. He hadn’t seen Izzy in much other than his black tech clothes. The man had a very monochromatic color scheme to his wardrobe in general. Carmilla, on the other hand, did not. Unlike the softness of Lucius’s costume, Izzy was dressed in crisp hard edges. His pants were a tight black leather and the maroon button up shirt had a scandalously low neckline that stopped a little below his sternum. It left little of his chest to the imagination while still being on the right side of tasteful.
“Impossible…” Lucius breathed the words letting his own surprise mingle with Laura’s to create an air that was more sexually charged than he had originally planned.
“How wonderful.” Izzy breathed the words more than said them. His voice was low and husky as he drank in the sight of Lucius. He circled him slowly as if trying to look at him from every angle. Lucius watched him as he moved, utterly entranced. “ Twelve years ago I saw your face in a dream! It has haunted me ever since! Beyond doubt, you, even as you are now. Hair of gold, eyes of sapphire. How can this be?”
“One night when I was a child, I woke up and saw a beautiful stranger standing beside my bed. That stranger, she had your face!” Lucius answered back, the amazement that he had inflected into the words held something more to it. Something weightier.
“The girl I saw was in a room I’d never been, an empty place with only a single candelabra for light. At first I hid under the bed, then I heard someone crying. When I looked, it was you—Seated in a large chair, tears falling down your face.” Izzy finally stopped circling Lucius as if he was prey. He reached out a hand and, more gently then Lucius thought him capable, cupped his cheek. His thumb ran gently underneath Lucius’s eye as if wiping away the tears of the past before whispering.
“So unhappy.”
Lucius placed his hand over Izzy’s, pressing it more steadily against his cheek.
“You smiled at me.” Lucius spoke softly, almost like he was lost to the dream. In some ways it felt like he was. “Although, I was a child and you an adult.”
“So,” Izzy dropped the hand that was cupping Lucius’s cheek and slunk around behind him. His hands gently resting on his hips. “I climbed into your lap.”
“You-or she-” Lucius didn’t need to fake any of the breathlessness in his voice as he began to lean into Izzy’s touch. “-slipped under the covers. She hugged me.”
“I think then I fell asleep.” He said lowly against the shell of Lucius’s ear. His arms leaving their positions on his hips to wrap more fully around him, holding him flush against him. The younger man shivered as Izzy’s goatee brushed against his neck.
“She kissed me.” The statement ended in a sharp intake of breath as Izzy brushed his lips over Lucius’s neck. Not quite a kiss but somehow feeling so much more intimate. “I screamed. Because I felt pain! As if someone drove a needle into my breast above the heart.”
“And I woke,” At the line, Izzy finally released Lucius and he mourned the loss of contact. He let his hands linger on Izzy’s arms as he began to fully pull away. “Full of sorrow for that beautiful stranger.”
“My father heard my screams and came to my room. With him came Madame Perradon and others. They did not- would not leave me again the whole night. Father summoned a doctor for me the next day.” Lucius continued the scene but internally his mind was whirling.
Sure, he and Izzy had their whole thing where Lucius flirted with him shamelessly and Izzy would just bark some insults and move on but this? This was an entirely different beast.
“The next evening I longed to experience the same dream once more. But I never again saw my sad and beautiful stranger.” The lust in Izzy’s eyes felt so fucking real. Lucius had to remind himself that they were just acting. This was just a trick of the stage. It didn’t mean anything between them.
They continued the scene and Lucius couldn’t stop himself from staring as Izzy walked across the stage to sit on the couch off to the side. He bit his lip as Oluwande spoke to him as Captain Martins, but his eyes never left Izzy as he fucking draped himself across the plush furniture. He continued to stare wantonly at Izzy as he spoke his next lines.
“Have you noticed one can be thirsty or hungry and remain totally unaware of that fact until one smells food or sips a little water?”
Izzy was honestly surprised how naturally he slipped into the role of Carmilla. In all honesty, it didn’t feel all too different than how he was normally. The only difference now was that he was completely unafraid to act upon his desires. He could touch and flirt with Lucius and be completely safe under the cloak of Carmilla. No one would question his motives because Carmilla just wants Laura so carnally. He leaned into the actions, into the seduction and love that Carmilla felt towards Laura. He let himself act on the desires he held for Lucius and, while he wasn’t entirely sure, it seemed that Lucius was also heavily affected by the actions.
Izzy stood from where he was lounging on the couch. He walked over, finding a strange bit of satisfaction in how the slightly heeled boots clicked along the wood of the stage. Something to think about for later. He leaned over Lucius, making a show of changing the radio station to a tango. He really had to talk to John and Frenchie about where they got these pants because, if the noise that Lucius made was anything to go by, his ass looked fantastic. He straightened himself before turning to Lucius, looking up at the man through his lashes. He held his hand out to him.
“You lead?” He did all he could to burn the image of Lucius’s soft blush in his mind.
“I don’t know how. Truly.” His voice was soft and sweet as he spoke. Right now he was more Laura than Lucius. Izzy couldn’t help the desire to try to crack that innocent shell to see who he truly was. Carmilla wanted the same.
“Come. Hold your hand up so, and let mine rest within it.” He said as he took Lucius’s hand and began to arrange the man against him.
“Even so. The other hand-” He took Lucius’s other hand. “-goes below and against my shoulder-” He placed Lucius hand on his shoulder. “-or back,” He guided Lucius’s hand down his back. “-or sometimes my waist even.” He pushed Lucius’s hand down to his waist. He felt a little thrill feeling the slight tremor in his hands.
“The steps?” Lucius asked curiously as he stared into Izzy’s eyes with barely concealed desire. Izzy wanted so badly to push him over the edge.
“Lift one foot, cross in like this. Yes.” Izzy guided gently. He used every excuse possible to touch and manhandle Lucius into positions.
“What next?” He asked.
“Do it again, and I follow.” Lucius began to slowly get more confident in his movements as he led him through the tango. “Slowly. Yes! No need to rush. The tango is meant to be slow, to be savored. And then we turn the other way!”
They danced for a while. Their bodies pressed close to each other. Chest to chest. Palm to palm. They lost themselves in the movement of it all. They weren’t Carmilla or Laura but they weren’t Izzy or Lucius either.
They were just two people, enjoying each other in a way that was undeniably intimate. The air itself felt like it was sparking with connection. As the dance slowed to a stop, ending with the song, Izzy couldn’t help but stare at Lucius openly. If he was truly himself, he’d kiss him. If any of this was half as real as it felt, he’d pull Lucius down into a bruising kiss that would scorch their souls. But that wasn't in the script and the show had to progress so Izzy pulled himself away.
“Brava.” He praised more than a tad breathless.
“Would you like to lead for a time?” Lucius asked, though the slight smirk to his lips revealed to Izzy not only the double meaning but also the fact that he already knew the answer.
“No. You.”
“It really isn’t very much like a waltz is it? Something like, but not.” Lucius said softly as his fingers trailed up and down Izzy’s arms. He shivered at the light touches.
“Have you waltzed much?” He asked softly as his eyes tracked the motion of Lucius’s fingertips.
“Papa taught me. Then I sometimes danced with Madame Perradon. Not recently.”
“Let me show you something.” Izzy pulled Lucius to be against him once more and his heart sang at the contact.
“Put your right leg behind me, and hold on to my waist.” He adjusted the younger man to hold him once again. When the touches were too feathery light, he moved to force his hands to squeeze his waist more tightly.
“Firm! Yes – now I’ll lean back and you lean forward.” He began the process of leaning back. Lucius immediately adjusted to make sure that Izzy was cradled in his arms.
As Izzy gazed up into his deep brown eyes, he was once again struck with the desire to kiss this man. To claim him. To make him so wholly his that there would never be a question as to who he belonged to. The next line came out shakier than he had meant it too.
“Don’t let me fall?”
“I won’t.” Lucius swore.
Izzy didn’t doubt him. It felt like he was talking about something so much deeper than just this dip. Izzy was struggling to separate the words being said as Laura or Lucius. He stared up into Lucius’s eyes for a long time and slowly moved his hand to cup the man’s cheek.
“I think I might almost be afraid of you.” He whispered in the intimate space between them and he found the line didn’t seem like just a line. It felt like an honest to god admission and with the way Lucius’s eyes widened slightly, it seemed Lucius knew it too.
The rest of the show played out in the same kind of tone. Each time Carmilla and Laura were able to interact with each other, Izzy and Lucius played a strange game of cat and mouse. They pushed and pulled at each other. There were numerous occasions where they didn’t know where the character ended and they began. Each scene was so charged with emotion that it electrified the air. The audience was on the edge of their seats as they watched the two people speak in a secret code to one another. Again and again professing their love under various guises and schemes. The actors never came right out and said it but each inflection, each movement, every touch made it so abundantly clear the level of near animalistic want was racing through both men.
Once the show was over and everyone received their applause, the cast and crew began to undress and prepare themselves for a night of celebrating. Izzy had managed to get changed much faster than the other actors and was nowhere to be seen when Lucius went looking for him. Though once he walked out into the cold November night, it wasn’t hard to find the small man dressed in black.
Lucius walked up to Izzy’s car, his hands stuffed in his pockets in an attempt to push away the chill. The other man was leaning against a beat up truck, looking lost and far away. Lucius took the opportunity to lean next to him. Izzy didn’t startle so Lucius assumed the man was either too far stuck in his own head or he didn’t register Lucius’s presence as a threat.
“You were great tonight.” Izzy chuckled humorlessly at the praise. So it’s the latter then. Interesting. “I mean it. You were fantastic. You’re a great actor.”
“Didn’t feel all that much like acting.” The other man confessed, still not turning to look at Lucius. It felt like enough of an admission that Lucius felt safe in his movement to let his arm brush against Izzy’s as he scooched a bit closer to him.
“Didn’t feel like acting to me either.” He said softly and kept himself facing forward. He couldn’t help himself from side eyeing the other man slightly and was pleased to see that Izzy was doing the same.
“Yeah?” The hopefully little tick to Izzy’s voice made Lucius smile.
“Yeah.” He answered back as he slowly took his hand out of his pocket and let his fingers brush against Izzy’s. Izzy, slowly almost fearfully, reached out just his pinky finger and wrapped it around Lucius’s. Lucius hooked his pinky around Izzy’s as well, squeezing slightly.
“Ya know,” He turned a little more towards Izzy, keeping their fingers linked. “The cast and crew usually go out for Applebees after a successful show. You coming?”
“Oh, I probably shouldn’t-” Izzy’s eyes grew wide with panic but Lucius took more of his hand into his and held it. Lucius gave the hand a gentle little squeeze and he stepped a little closer.
“Iz,” He noted the way the other man’s pupils widened as he sweetly called to him. “You’re one of us now. You’re safe with us.”
Lucius wasn’t sure if it was just a trick of the light but he swore he saw a cluster of tears gathering in Izzy’s eyes at the statement. Izzy’s hand curled around Lucius’s and he held onto him like a lifeline.
“But-” The tremor in Izzy’s voice was almost too much for Lucius to bear. “-they don’t like me.”
“Izzy,” Lucius said soft yet firm and was a bit surprised at the shuddered breath Izzy took at the tone. “You are one of us. We take care of each other. I like you. They like you. And even if they didn’t they’d have to go through me before I ever let them get to you. Alright?”
Izzy stared into Lucius’s eyes for a long time after that. Like he was searching them for any hint of deception. Like if he stared into Lucius’s eyes long enough he’d be able to find whatever imaginary trap he had conducted for himself. Lucius ran his thumb over Izzy’s knuckles soothingly.
“It’s 10 right now so it's half priced apps.” He said in a bit of a singsong voice that made Izzy’s lips quirk up into a slight grin. “And if I really need to sweeten the deal, I’ll pay for you.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Izzy said softly.
“I know. I do it because I want to.”
Izzy’s eyes widened once again at the words before revealing a small private little smile.
“Yeah.” He said softly. “I’ll go.”
“Perfect. I’ll meet you there?” Lucius said with a grin. Izzy nodded. As Lucius was just about to walk to his own car, Izzy squeezed his hand.
“Lucius?”
“Yes?”
Suddenly, he was yanked down by the smaller man and lips pressed themselves firmly against his own. Lucius was surprised for about a second before he turned more fully to Izzy, pressing the smaller man’s body up against his car as he kissed him thoroughly. He couldn’t tell anyone how long the two of them stayed like that. How they pushed and pulled at each other just like when they were on stage but this time it was so much more. They were them. There was no hiding behind Laura or Carmilla. This kiss belonged solely to Lucius Spriggs and Izzy Hands. As the two pulled away, the winter air chilling their breath as they panted into the space between them, they swore they would have many more.