Chapter Text
“I’m Build Jakapan Puttha. I’m 27 Years old. I Live in Bangkok.”
He kept repeating it like a mantra. Sitting in front of his full length mirror, in the darkness of his bedroom. He was saying these things, like he wanted to believe it. But the tiny voice inside of his skull was telling him otherwise. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and looked into his own eyes through the reflection. But it was not him. He didn’t recognise his own face. But he kept chanting his little mantra:
“I’m… I’m Bu-ild Ja-Jakapan…”
Tears were forming in his eyes, threatening to break loose. It was getting harder and harder to keep up the eye contact with himself… or with Pete. He didn’t really know at that point.
He had problems separating from Pete before. This was something new for him, though. He never had problems with his previous characters. He was Oak when the cameras rolled, and he was Build when they weren’t. But something shifted in him when he got to know Pete. Pete was just like him, in so many aspect of life. They were both very optimistic, and always had a smile on their face that made the whole World a brighter place. Pete was also a deeply traumatised man. In some sense Build too, but Pete’s trauma started to bleed through him. He started having restless nights thinking about it. Thinking like Pete, and not like Build.
Build told Bible. He had to, because he trusted him, and as his partner, he felt like he was obligated to tell him. To his surprise, Bible was struggling with Vegas too. But unlike Pete and Build, Vegas and Bible shared little to nothing from themselves. Vegas was cruel, ruthless, broken. Bible was anything but these. But on days he found himself having… thoughts. Thoughts he never had, and never wanted to have. He tried to distract himself with working out, reading, taking care of his cat, or anything really. Sometimes Vegas won in him, and when he did, he slept through it. He didn’t want to be like him.
The first time Bible saw Pete in Build was after their first scene together. The torture scene. It was incredibly hard for both of them. Especially to get out of character and leave Vegas and Pete on set. Bible was scared of Pete, because Pete was just like Vegas, but smarter with his temper. He knew how to hide his pain, unlike Vegas.
And now, Build was having a hard time getting rid of Pete. He stuck inside of him like a disease without a cure.
“I’m Build… My name is Build Jakapan… Puttha. I’m 23… 27… I live in Bangkok.”
They filmed a hard scene today. Something new, something that Build has never filmed in his years in being an actor. Not to mention Bible, who never acted before Vegas. Period. A sex scene is generally awkward to film. There are people with you, watching you dry hump another person, hearing you moan. Bible needed a lot of time to get used to this idea. Build was completely lost in the plot, and he let Bible… Vegas… to do everything. Like Pete would. Pete would give his body, mind and soul to Vegas without hesitation. So that’s what he did. Despite all his effort, his body did not know that he was acting.
Well… he got hard.
In his defence, Bible is a very handsome man, with toned body, and with the voice of an angel. And Build is a very sexual person. But somehow he didn’t calculate it in that he was going to get humped like crazy by Bible today. That scene took a lot out from them. They both needed time… a lot of time after they finished it. He knew Bible realised that he got hard. It was easier for Bible to hide it, he wasn’t fully naked like Build who only had a cloth separating him from Bible. Build excused himself to the bathroom, and jerked off quickly.
“I’m Build Jakapan Puttha…”
His mantra was cut short by the doorbell ringing. At that moment he was cursing a thousand suns to the person who dared to come to his apartment at two in the morning. He wasn’t even ready with his chanting. He still felt Pete inside of him, for some reason even harder than before he sat down in front of the mirror. But he got up. He walked straight to the door, not even realising that he was only wearing a black boxer, and a slightly big, loose t-shirt. He opened the door with a bit too much force, that made Bible jump, and widen his eyes in surprise.
Build sighed from the sight of the younger man. Bible looked tired. With eyes bags, big enough to do grocery shopping with them, wearing only his jeans, with his pyjama t-shirt, and a unknotted Converse. Build stepped aside, letting him inside.
“What are you doing here at two, Bible?” He closed the door, as soon as Bible got his leather jacket off.
“I couldn’t sleep.” They both walked into the living room, hopping down onto the messy couch.
“And your solution was to come to the other side of the city?”
“I thought… you couldn’t sleep either.” He rolled his eyes. “I guess I was right.”
“I guess you were.”
Then Silence fell on both of them. Build knew why Bible was there. For the same reason he was still up at this hour, doing his little chanting. Build was scared of Vegas inside of Bible, but he was also intrigued by him. He wanted to know more, and wanted to get to know him.
“You are here because…?” Build finally ended the silence. But he didn’t want to. Because it wasn’t Build. He would never do it, not like this. Not with this much passive-aggressiveness in his voice.
“Because I couldn’t stop thinking about today.” Bible hated lying. He would rather make a fool out of himself for telling the truth, than be the King of the World building upon lies.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“Who is me?” This was definitely Build. His voice break, like Build’s. “Bible or Vegas couldn’t stop thinking about me? Pete or Build?” Bible looked at him with confusion in his eyes.
“What are you talking about?”
“Who do you think I am?” Bible leaned closer, and looked deep inside of Build’s eyes. He raised his hand to touch Build’s puffy face, that slowly started becoming wet from the escaped tears.
“Build?” Build shook his head in disbelief. Was it actually him? He didn’t feel like himself, as he let Bible stroke his skin with his thumb, trying to calm him down.
“You are Build. Not Pete.”
“How do you know? I don’t even know myself.” He sobbed softly. “Are you Bible?” Bible actually needed some time to think about an answer. As much as he wanted to calm Build down by saying ‘yes’ he couldn’t bring himself to say it. But he didn’t want to say no, either.
“I’m not Vegas.” His heart was beating faster like never. It wasn’t a lie. Not an obvious one at least. He didn’t feel like Vegas at that moment, but he felt the bleed. He was there in the details. The way the smiled, and the way he touched Build. It was all a bit too harsh for it to be Bible’s. And Build noticed it. Of course he did.
“You’re lying.”
“I’m. not. Vegas.” He put an emphasis on every word he was saying. Build shook his head again, reminding himself why Bible came in the first place. He wiped his tears, and straightened up.
“Why are you here again?” Bible looked confused again. The sudden switch in Build’s mood was… weird. He raised an eyebrow as he was looking up and down on Build’s body. It was all so… different. “Because I got hard today?” If Bible would have been drinking something, he definitely would spat it out as soon as those words left Build’s mouth. It came out of nowhere. One second he was crying because of Pete and Vegas, the other second he was talking about getting hard on set. But he went along with Build, as soon as he gathered all his thoughts.
“I…” Bible’s tongue got caught up, and no words could leave his mouth.
“Don’t be shy, you practically fucked me today.” Bible’s brain became a mush, that he felt would drip out of his ears. He didn’t understand one bit of what was happening at that moment, as they were sitting on Build’s couch, face to face at two am. He thought coming to Build would help to clear out of his mind, but so far it only messed with him even more. He couldn’t even open his mouth anymore. He let Build do the talking. “It’s okay Bible. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable by that.”
“You didn’t make me uncomfortable. It was Pete anyway.” Was it? Build doesn’t even know if it’s Pete who is talking to Bible right now, or Build. How should he decide who had that reaction to getting dry humped by Vegas… Bible…? It was Build’s body, but Pete’s mind. Kind of like right now, as Bible kept stroking his wet cheeks, he started to think like Pete. Bible stopped moving his thumb, once he saw Build’s face drop, and become emotionless. It scared him. “Are you okay?” Build didn’t answer. His body shivered, like he was cold. “Biu?” Build shook his head. What was he saying no to? To Pete? To Bible that he is not Build right now? Trying to keep himself grounded?
“Do you also feel him?” Build asked, because he needed reassurance that he wasn’t the only one who felt like going insane. “It’s like having two souls in one body.” Build touched his own chest, near his heart.
“Do you feel him?” He nodded. Bible’s heart sank, like a stone dropped into the ocean. “Are you Build?” Build didn’t answer once again. It was him, who reached out this time. He traced his fingertips through Bible’s face, touching his eyelids, the tip of his nose, and landed on his wet lips. He smiled slightly at the feeling of having Bible’s lips under his touch. It was like touching wires, and getting electrocuted slightly. Bible stayed silent, letting Build touch him. His breathing caught up, and let his deep thought out. He slightly parted his lips, leaving Build’s two fingers on his bottom lip.
“What are you doing?” He asked quietly, so quietly he feared Build didn’t hear him. Build shushed him down, and like the good boy he is, he shut up. Build didn’t know what he was doing either. Mainly because it was not him doing it. But the Build deep inside, enjoyed it too. He enjoyed it so much, at that moment he didn’t even care about Pete inside of him. He smiled slightly at the thought of letting Pete to touch Bible, and to feel Bible. He also wanted to see Bible crumble under Pete. He knew that Bible was scared of him, and he enjoyed playing with him like that.
Bible parted his lips even more, as Build’s fingers pushed passed them, inside the warmth of his mouth. Bible’ chest started rising faster, letting Build’s fingers push deeper and deeper. He looked in his eyes, that were now darker than it usually was. It confused him. It was like looking into Pete’s eyes. Build didn’t stop. Not until the base of his fingers bumped into Bible’s lips, and his fingertips were completely down his throat. Bible’s eyes snapped open at the feeling of having something down his throat like that. He gagged, making himself shiver. He wanted to pull away, get away from this feeling but the more he pulled away the deeper Build pushed his fingers back.
“I also couldn’t stop thinking about you…” Build pulled back slightly, he didn’t want Bible to throw up. “Vegas or Bible, I don’t care who was that, but you made me hard. So hard, I had to come home with you in my head. How you moved on top of me, and moaned into my ears.”
Build sat up on his knees, towering over Bible, leaning to his ear. He smiled before he started talking again. Bible looked up, with Build’s fingers still in his mouth. He looked so innocent like this, eyes shining, face lax, mouth open. Build was sure it was Bible. Vegas would never let him do things like that to him. Not Build at least. Pete? He would cut his heart out and let Pete inside of his chest and flesh, just to make him happy.
Build ripped his finger out of Bible’s mouth leaving him coughing for a second, before he attacked his lips, replacing them with his tongue. Bible needed a second. Or two. Or three. This kiss was exactly like Pete and Vegas’. Fast, hard, full of desires and lust. Bible didn’t know who kissed him, Build or Pete, but he couldn’t really care. Thoughts passed his brain, like bullet trains. The sudden change in in Build’s behaviour. Him kissing him without any warnings. The fingers down his throat. Pete. It was all in his brain, not leaving for one second.
Not even when Build straightened out Bible’s legs, so he could comfortably sit on his lap, both legs on either side of him. He didn’t kiss him back for a while, mostly letting Build do whatever he wanted to do. And Build acted like a maniac. He didn’t kiss Bible, he devoured him. Bit his tongue, and his lips until blood drew, and the metallic taste filling up their mouths. Bible hissed at the pain, and finally closed his eyes. Bible’s hands found their place on Build’s hips, stroking his body with his thumb. He couldn’t kiss him back, even if he wanted to, Build was too dominating. Or Pete. He didn’t really know.
“I wanted to kiss you like this.” Build breathed when he eventually let go off of Bible’s battered lips, now plum, and slightly pink from his own blood. “I wanted to taste you like this.” Bible didn’t recognise Build. Yes, Build can act on his feelings, that’s what he usually did. He is an emotional man, and he lets them control him. But he never saw his eyes this dark, he never saw him act like a lunatic. It scared him.
“Build, stop.” He didn’t listen of course. He was deafened by desire, and kissed him again. Slower this time, letting himself discover the depts of Bible’s mouth. As much as bible wanted him to stop, because this was insane, he was crazy, he couldn’t. He moaned into his mouth, which earned a satisfied smile from Build. His hands tightened around Build’s hips, not knowing if he wanted to push away, or pull him down even closer.
He gathered some courage, to push the aggressive man off of his lips, and look into his eyes.
“Build… calm down.” Build looked puzzled
.
“Why? Am I not pretty?” He bent down to now suck on Bible’s sensitive skin behind his ears, leaving marks on his skin. Bible squeezed his eyes shut, along with his lips, trying to contain the building up moans in his throat.
“You are. You are very pretty, but…”
“But?” Build switched sides, now attacking the left side of his neck.
Bible didn’t want to admit how much this whole situation turned him on. Not just Build acting like someone who lost his mind, and kissing him, eating him up, but the fact that he couldn’t decide if it’s a new side of him, or it’s Pete taking control of his mind now. It was all too much for his brain, and for his body. He felt his insides turned into a mush.
“But… ngh…” When Bible moaned, Build smiled.
“You like me, Bible.” Build sit up, now touching Bible’s toned chest. He could still feel his muscles through his shirt. “I know you do. You also got hard, didn’t you? Of course you did. You cannot control it, can you? But it was just Vegas, right? I want him, I want the person who made me so painfully horny today, to fuck me for real. Bible, or Vegas.”
“Build…”
“Pete.” The mantra he was chanting for hours before Bible crashed, was thrown into the trash can. He knew he couldn’t fight Pete, not when all he could think about Is how their bodies collided today. How their moans were real, filling up the room, not giving one single fuck about the crew, and how good it felt to be humped that hard, that his body moved up on the bed with each thrust. He wanted it again, but with the feeling of getting actually fucked.
Build smiled when Bible didn’t correct him. He roamed his whole hand around Bible’s face, settling them on each side of his cheeks.
“Vegas.” Build whispered, as he leaned down, and kissed Bible’s lips once again. But this time he gave his whole heart to him through the touch of their lips. This kiss was slow, passionate. Bible kissed back this time, still giving all the control to Build. “I missed you ever since I got home.”
Build saw Vegas in his eyes. It was dark, and cold inside his stare. He almost shivered. But he wanted it. He wanted this. Well, Pete wanted it, but Pete is him and he is Pete.
They kissed like that, exploring each other’s mouth, moaning quietly, until Bible wrapped his arms around Build’s waist, and pushed him down to the other side of the couch. He was not on top, with Build’s legs up in the air, on his back. Build sighed at the familiar feeling of being under Bible… or Vegas.
“Fuck me… Please.”
“Patience, baby… You have condom? Lube?” Build stretched his body, to reach out for the drawer of the table next to the couch, and pointed to the inside of it. For a moment Bible was back, because he looked at him, with visible question marks around his face, not understanding why Build has these stuff just casually laying around his house. Build just shrugged.
“Unlike you, I am getting some action here and there.” Bible raised an eyebrow at Build’s comment. What a slut, he thought.
“That’s what am I too? Another ‘action’ of yours?” Bible ripped Build’s boxers down, without hesitation, leaving the man under him half naked, with only the t-shirt covering some parts of his body. “Who else fucked you from the cast?” Build genuinely couldn’t tell who was he under. Bible is very possessive, and a jealous type. But so is Vegas. Both of them would as Build or Pete these questions.
Bible poured some lube onto his fingers, and pushed two inside of Build’s body, without a warning. Build hissed, and jumped a little at the sudden feeling. Bible was paying back what Build did with kissing him without any signs, and also he wanted to fuck the answer out of him. Build couldn’t give a decent reply, he just laid there, shivering and moaning, eyes shut from the intense pleasure.
“I’m waiting…” Build panted when Bible twisted his wrist, and added a third finger. It started to become painful, with such little lube that Bible used, his fingers felt like they were setting fire inside of his guts.
“No one…” It was lie of course. He did it a few times with other members of the cast. But they were all just hook ups, or stress relieve from a hard day, or a loss of mind in a drunken haze. None of them were as real, and as raw as it is with Bible, with Vegas. Of course Bible realised it was a lie, so he pushed is fingers even deeper, as if he could get the answer from the insides of Build.
“Am I only doing this because you want me? Or Vegas? Or am I here for a quick hook up, like the others were?” Build’s face was burning from shame. Not like he had to be ashamed of anything, and he never was ashamed of liking sex. But the way Bible was speaking to him made him shiver.
“You came here in the first place…” Build breathed, trying to avoid giving a real response. His legs started to shake from the pleasure. In the meantime Bible pulled his pants down, just enough for his dick to pop out, and rolled a condom on. He pulled his fingers out, letting Build breathe for a moment, while he poured some more lube onto his hard on.
“I came here because I missed you, and I was worried for you.” That was the sentence that sent Pete back to the depths of his mind. Build’s eyes widened in surprise, and just now realised that he is about to get fucked by Bible. For real this time. All that mantra of reminding himself of his own name, while all he needed was Bible’s caring words to snap him back to reality.
“Worried?” Bible stopped when his tip barely brushed Build’s entrance, that made him jump a little. “Why?”
“Because of what I did… just now. You not knowing if you are Pete or Build. Me not knowing if I’m Bible or Vegas.” Build smiled.
“Who do you think I am now?” Bible smiled back, and slowly bent down, and started to push inside of Build. Build moaned, and held onto Bible’s back, as he threw his head back.
“Build.”
“Bible…” His voice was hoarse, dripping with desire. It wasn’t a hook up. It was too raw, and too emotional to be a quick fuck. It was their souls connecting in a way they never did, despite all the trust, and despite all the times being together. As Bible and Build, and as Vegas and Pete. It was more than just sex.
Build just hooked his arms around Bible’s neck and his legs around his waist, heels pushing into the lower part of his back, either to keep him here, or to make the thrusting even more deeper. For a few moments they were silent. Completely lost in their moanings, and in their own bliss. Bible was kissing Build’s neck, never wanting to let him go. And Build was having a hard time keeping up with the overwhelming feelings he got from every side of his body.
Until that point they tried to separate Vegas and Pete’s feeling for each other from their own. And they didn’t understand whether the burning desire that was set ablaze in their chest was theirs, or not. Bible dropped his head, letting their foreheads touch, and they looked into each other’s eyes. It was definitely Bible and Build. The darkness from their eyes were long gone, it was replaced with want and longing. They smiled at each other, and when Bible finally hit Build’s magic spot, Build’s head flew back, breaking the eye contact.
“There! Fuck…”
His whole body tightened, veins popped out of his neck, as he kept whining under the younger man, who now planted his hands next to Build’s head to push himself up. This earned a more deeper thrusting.
The sound of their body colliding, and Build’s sweet sobbing filled up the room. Bible was gasping, never looking away from Build. He wondered how can someone be as beautiful, as him. He never took a closer look like this to him. His skin was like caramel, now dripping with sweat. His bangs stuck on his forehead, eyes shut close, mouth ajar, letting those sweet sounds escape from his throat.
“Fuck… Bible…” Build was close. “Please…” He didn’t even know what he was pleading for. The words left his mouth without filter. Bible found it incredibly hot.
He threw his head back. He was also close.
“I’m… gonna come, Biu….” His English slipped in. And Build didn’t need anything else. His body arched up, he let out a long, low moan as he came between the both of them. A few more erratic thrust from Bible and he was also gone in no time, coming inside the condom, buried inside of Build, and at that moment he wished he wouldn’t have fucked all those other men, so he could let Bible come inside of him without fear.
Bible collapsed onto Build, who immediately started stroking his hair, despite the fact that he wanted to catch his breath, and with a grown man laying on top of him, it was incredibly hard. Both of them needed a moment. The feelings that were now inside of them, going like a hurricane, the intensity of the sex they had, they did need that moment. But Bible did pull out eventually, and threw the used condom inside the trashcan, and pulled his pants back. Build got his boxer back on, after he cleaned his own cum off of his tummy.
“What was that?” Bible broke the awkward silence that quickly grew between them.
“Sex.” Build replied, leaning his head onto Bible’s shoulder. Bible couldn’t deny that his heart started beating faster at that.
“Between who?”
“Between Bible and Build.”
“Can we do it again?” Build looked up to Bible.
“We can. This was not a hook up for me.”
“What was it then?” Build sit up, and gave a small kiss onto Bible’s wet cheek.
“Exploring.” He smiled, then got up, and went to the kitchen. “Want a pizza?” Bible shook his head, being confused with his own feelings, that were too tangled up, and he was too tired to untangle. So he followed Build into the kitchen to help him.
Coming to Build was the worst and best decision he ever made. Now he has to bare the conseuqences of catching feelings for his co-worker. His best friend. His soulmate.