Work Text:
Atsushi had never felt worse.
It was if a raincloud was constantly looming over his slim figure, a consistent dampener on his usually up beat mood.
Nothing particularly had happened and yet he felt himself cloud with this empty nothingness, almost void of emotion.
His day at work had dragged on a bit, yes, but he wasn't particularly "sad" about that.
His mind was filled with nothing, his emotions void.
His hands clung to his figure in desperation to scratch some sort of feeling out of him, anything.
"Please" he begged in his clouded mind, he begged for some emotion. Anything. A feeling of some sort was all he needed.
Pain, pleasure, hatred, joy, anything at all would reassure that he was still human. With the ability to feel emotion and morals.
Yet it never came.
This day was unlike any other to the boy, it was unwelcome and unnecessary to his already plagued mind.
He wished that this feeling, or lack thereof, would not be there when we awoke. And so, he made the logically sound to sleep away his woes, in hopes of recovery from his personally crafted emotional deprivation.
When he awoke, once again. Nothing.
Not a single emotion except this feeling of, emptiness, yet that seemed flawed as an emotion to his mind so he needn't count it as one.
Upon arriving at work, everyone seemingly picked up on his change in pace. Ranpo particularly seemed concerned, offering Atsushi a lollipop he had kept with him for emergency snacking. And when Atsushi, politely declined, they all knew something was amiss.
Dazai approached Atsushi with a steady caution and kneeled by him, taking his friend's hand.
"Atsushi, are you okay?"
And this was the trigger.
The bullet left the gun and he snapped.
Tears streamed Atsushi's cheeks, his sobs loud and he flung himself into the arms of his dear friend and cried.
Dazai's eyes widened as he pet the young boys back and quietly shushed him into a small slumber of relaxation.
"Ranpo, what is wrong with him?" Dazai whispered to his colleague.
Ranpo frowned, "he's depressed, Dazai."
Dazai had a small look of shock on his face, he couldn't predict that such a happy young boy would turn out like this. Although he understands that he has been through so much, he really believed in Atsushi's ability to fight his own demons. But alas, he was wrong, so undeniably wrong.
When Atsushi finally stirred awake, Dazai looked him dead in the eyes. He lifted the young tiger boy into his arms and simply whispered, "I understand. Atsushi." As a single tear fell and splashed onto Atsushi's face.