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Ever since the shift in leadership in 2018, Rain found a pool of guilt growing in his gut, spinning out of control. When Cardinal Copia had taken over the band, he had made adjustments to the band. With the addition of Rain and Swiss, the band simply didn’t need a fourth guitarist. So, Ifrit was booted. Rain didn’t know how Swiss could be so nonchalant about the situation. The remorse had been eating him whole.
Ifrit had only performed with the band for a year, not nearly as long as the fire ghoul before him. Every day for almost two months, Rain tried his best to avoid the fire ghoul. No matter what he did, he couldn’t shake the feeling that the ghoul resented him, even hated him for pushing him out of the band. Even when Ifrit told him, multiple times, that it was seriously no big deal, Rain found himself darting anxiously from any room that he found himself in with the fire ghoul.
He never thought he would find himself in the position of actively seeking out Ifrit, especially as a source of comfort, but he was out of luck. Swiss, Dewdrop, Aether, and Mountain had found themselves roped into some sort of acoustic performance with the Cardinal, and Rain still didn’t feel like he had clicked with the ghoulettes. But he could feel the tell-tale pit of anxiety festering in his stomach, and he needed somewhere to hide out, far away from the noise of the ministry.
Rain sat in Mountain’s greenhouse, trying to come up with anything, anything that wouldn’t consist of him facing the fire ghoul. He twisted his fingers around the leaf of a near-by elephant’s ear plant, unintentionally folding the leaf too far, causing it to crack. Memories of Dewdrop rambling about the so-called “safe haven” that was Ifrit’s room pushed towards the front of his mind. Fine. He would go, if only to stop himself from destroying his partner’s beloved plants.
Rain pulled himself from the dirt floor, only now realizing the sweat beading on his forehead from the humid conservatory. The bassist quickly made his way through the gardens and into the ghouls’ dorms, trying to avoid anyone who may stop him. He was reaching the end of his line, and he didn’t know if he could make it to safety on time if he was interrupted. He tried to ignore the fact that he was thinking of Ifrit’s room as safety.
Before he knew it, he was standing in front of the warm wooden door. He took a deep breath, reveling in the warm pine air that entered his lungs. Ifrit always had that stupid pine candle lit. It reminded him of Swiss. It reminded him of the multi ghoul’s warm arms wrapped around him the last time he felt like this. It reminded him of the fact that he was standing like an idiot in front of a door, afraid to ask for help. Knock. Just knock. He couldn’t do it.
Just as Rain had decided to turn, to leave and deal with his growing dread on his own, the door in front of him was pulled open. Ifrit stood in front of him, a subtle grin on his face.
“You reek of ozone, Darling. Come on in, I won’t bite.” The fire ghoul stepped aside, motioning for the ghoul in front of him to enter. Slowly, carefully, he did. The door was closed gently behind him. “Dew’s mentioned that you smell like this when you’re anxious, do you wanna talk? Cuddle? Sit and stare at each other until one of us gets weirded out and leaves?”
Rain chuckled through his nose. He tried to ignore his heart pounding in his chest. He hadn’t allowed himself to be this close, this open, to Ifrit before. He never had a reason to think about how flustered the ghoul made him. He had always assumed it was the guilt. But to see the fire ghoul so calm, so attentive, so sweet , he felt the guilt fade for once. He felt it fade into something different. Something more comfortable.
He felt so at-ease in the unfamiliar room, he barely processed the brisk removal of his shoes and his casual slump onto the bed. He wasn’t even sure if he needed Ifrit’s help at that point. The simple act of making his way to the room, of discovering that the other ghoul had been told – and remembered – something that felt so personal, of allowing himself to enter into that ghoul’s space, it seemed to have stopped the twisting in his stomach.
He looked around, taking in the scene around him. The overhead lights were off, the room instead being illuminated by orange string lights and a tall lamp in a corner opposite the door. A small fan sat on the windowsill, pointed at a desk placed across from the bed. A bowl sat on Ifrit’s bedside table, full of various fidget toys. A bookshelf stood next to the desk, full of various novels, journals, and coloring books. The walls were plastered with posters. Quickly, Rain understood why all the ghouls would retreat here in times of distress.
Ifrit sat in his desk chair across from Rain, snapping the water ghoul back into reality. Rain looked at Ifrit, almost smiling as the ghoul waited patiently for a response.
“I’m sorry,” Rain spat out, barely thinking, “I didn’t know I would push you out of the band.”
Ifrit sighed, making Rain break eye contact, looking down to his own lap. He just shouldn’t have brought it up, it was stupid. He heard the fire ghoul rise from his chair, and almost jumped as the ghoul knelt in front of him. Ifrit looked up at him, resting a gentle hand on his knee.
“You’ve got to stop apologizing for that, Angel. You couldn’t have known it would happen. Even if you did, I don’t mind. My time on stage was up, and it’s not like I’ve been banished.”
To be honest, Rain hadn’t heard a word of what the ghoul in front of him said. He was too absorbed with the heat radiating from the strong hand on his leg, a gentle thumb rubbing back and forth. His face flushed, and he had no way to hide it. Ifrit laughed lightly at the dumbfounded ghoul, standing up in front of him. The fire ghoul raised his hand off of Rain’s leg, letting it deliberately brush the slender ghoul’s torso before delicately cupping his face. As if on instinct, the water ghoul leaned into the guitarist’s calloused hand. He slowly raised his head to look at the fire ghoul’s face again.
“Hey Doll,” Ifrit whispered, poorly hiding a devious smile, “Got something else on your mind?”
Rain didn’t respond. It was all he could do to hold the ghoul’s eye contact without combusting. Ifrit shifted his hand, playfully letting his thumb trace Rain’s lip before resting it on his chin.
“You’ve gotta tell me what you want, Princess.”
Princess. His heart fluttered. Rain found himself standing, meeting Ifrit at his level. His brain fell blank as Ifrit let out a minty breath.
“Ifrit?” He urged the simple word out, stepping further into the larger ghoul’s space.
“Yes, Rain?” Ifrit feigned ignorance. He let his free hand hover ever so closer to the other ghoul’s delicate waist.
“Would you kiss me?”
And that was enough. Ifrit leaned forward, pressing his warm, soft lips to Rain’s slightly chapped ones. His hand found its spot around the water ghoul’s waist, sneaking under the hem of his shirt so trace circles on his lower back. Rain wrapped his arms around the fire ghoul’s neck, burying his claws in Ifrit’s hair. Rain wasn’t sure he had ever felt quite like this before. He moved without thinking, grazing his teeth across Ifrit’s lower lip. Ifrit broke the kiss briefly to poke fun at the notion.
“Greedy little thing, aren’t you?”
Rain rolled his eyes and pulled the fire ghoul back to him, sliding his tongue into his partner’s warm mouth. A shiver ran down his spine as Ifrit ran his hands across the slimmer ghoul’s stomach, sliding them to his shoulders and back down again, allowing them to slide lightly across the ghoul’s nipples. This time, Rain broke the kiss.
“Oh, fuck you,” he huffed out, pulling off his shirt before practically tearing off Ifrit’s.
Rain guided the muscular ghoul onto the bed, laying over him before letting himself latch onto Ifrit’s neck, kissing and nibbling, trying to find the spots that made the ghoul feel the most. The pinned ghoul groaned softly as lips found his collarbones. He wrapped an arm around his water ghoul, pulling him as close as possible as the other arm pulled Rain into another, more tender kiss.
The ghouls took their time, reveling in the smells and tastes of the other. Rain’s hand laced itself around Ifrit’s. This wasn’t something that needed to be rushed, and neither of them wanted to push it too far. They had all the time in the world.
Rain pulled himself off of Ifrit, instead moving to lay next to the ghoul, facing him. Ifrit reached to turn off his lamp before mirroring the water ghoul. Ifrit rolled from his back to his side, extending an arm to trace the ghoul’s exquisite silhouette. Rain moved himself closer to Ifrit, tangling their arms and legs together. He nestled his head under Ifrit’s chin, savoring the spiced cider smell rolling off of him.
Later, they could do more. Lord knows they would have the time. But for now, Rain could let himself come down from his rollercoaster of emotions, and Ifrit could trace affectionate circles into his back as he did so. For now, they would rest.