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Ignoct Week 2022
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Published:
2022-12-13
Words:
1,097
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
11
Kudos:
66
Bookmarks:
4
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474

Bring Our Journey to a Close

Summary:

Noct refuses to let go of the conversation he had with Ignis when he awoke in Altissia.

 

Ignis cannot bear to tell Noct the truth about Pryna's vision, so he sacrifices another truth.

Work Text:

Noct refuses to let go of the conversation he had with Ignis when he awoke, and his careful, insistent prodding at Ignis' weakest moment becomes excruciating.

Ignis knows what he said was unforgivable, cowardly, and weak. He'd call those words back if he could. As he waited for Noct to regain consciousness, Pryna's vision played over and over before his blinded eyes; that same disability kept him from his usual distractions, and pain from his wounds made it hard to be rational.

Excuses.

But now Noct wants to know why Ignis – of all people – would be so weak as to ever suggest bringing their journey to a close. Questioning, surely, if Ignis was wounded not only in body but in his duty to the Crown.

Ignis wishes the truth was something he could confess, but he will willingly face their enemy's worst torments before he tells Noct the gods revealed his death: murdered on the Lucian throne, young and alone. Sacrificed by his own ancestors.

When the Lucii asked Ignis by what right he called on the power of the Ring, he threw that vision at them: if they needed Noct to live long enough for his death to be useful to them, they needed Ignis to hold Ardyn back.

Ignis chose that of his own will, freely. Unlike Noct, Luna, and Gladio, he had no destiny, no preordained role in the story the gods played out with human puppets.

He'd wanted Noct to live because –

Well.

Refuse he might to enlighten Noct as to his divine vision, but he can perhaps convince him another secret was his motivation.

As Ignis is fumbling his way through packing Noct's belongings to leave Altissia, Noct asks again. "I don't get why. How could you think that I - "

"It is not about you," Ignis snaps, weary and more broken than he cares to admit to himself. "I love you – I am in love with you. My words came from that base selfishness. I'd failed so badly to keep you safe, and that," he gestures with socks in one hand and a t-shirt in the other, "terrified me. Nothing more, and nothing less. If you can find it within yourself to be merciful, I beg you to mention it no more."

Noct is silent long enough that Ignis has to return to his task to mask the trembling of his hands. Finally, he says, "Okay," gets up, and walks out.

The subject is not raised again, and Ignis is not – as he'd feared – ordered to stay behind in Altissia. Noct cannot bear to speak to him, but Ignis expected no less: his confession could not have been more spectacularly cruel in its ill-timing, after all. Still, Ignis will accept Noct's justified anger a thousand times over if it keeps from him the truth of how the gods plan to use and dispose of him.

(Ignis has his own plans – fantasies, if he's honest – for deposing those very gods, saving Noct and the world through wit and sacrifice. He just needs to work around his blindness first.)

Their working relationship improves somewhat as they travel from Cartanica to Tenebrae to Gralea, though Ignis attributes that to necessity, given Ardyn's abduction of Prompto and Gladio's short-sighted belief that Noct using the ring will magically solve their problems. Once they reach their destination, Noct is tricked by Ardyn into wearing the ring; and then, further ensnared, forced to enter the Crystal. Ignis – blind and uselessly human – can do nothing to save Noct.

He is angry for the first few years of darkness. He uses his rage to mount fruitless attempts to enter Angelgard. The third time he nearly drowns he gives up, much to Gladio's relief; but he next travels into the heart of Niflheim, seeking knowledge, technology, and the true nature of Ardyn. He accustoms himself to his disability, relearning what skills he can, and as he regains confidence the fury bred of impotence drains away. He is resolved and driven, of course, but he begins the work of forgiving himself.

He'd imposed his unwanted feelings during Noct's darkest grief, and done great damage to both his duty to the Crown and to his friendship with Noct. As the years pass, however, he nurtures a small hope that his love proves a comfort to Noct while in the cruel care of the gods.

He and the other Crownsguard converge on Hammerhead when the King's return is made known. The reunion's joy is made bittersweet by Noct's gradual realization of the toll the decade has taken. Ignis refuses to bring the mood even lower for his own selfish ends, though he itches with the desire to speak to Noct alone.

But at camp on the way to Insomnia, Noct takes Gladio, Prompto, and Ignis aside by turn. From the sorrow evident in Gladio and Prompto's voices when they return, Ignis is prepared for Noct to bid him farewell, but it wounds him nonetheless to hear the words in that so-familiar, beloved voice.

"You misunderstand," Ignis says, when Noct tries to persuade him that memories of friendship would serve as well as facing his fate with his actual friends at his side. "You will not be going alone." He removes his visor and folds it into his pocket. He tries to look Noct in the eyes; he hopes he succeeds. "In no world would I be anywhere but at your side when... when the time comes."

"Iggy." There's a long silence that Ignis cannot interpret, much to his frustration. Finally, Noct sighs. "In Altissia... do you remember what you told me?"

Ignis feels his cheeks redden, but he refuses to make the conversation even more excruciating by being coy. "That I love you."

"Then live. For me."

Fond as Ignis is of Noct, he's insulted. He's not that easily manipulated by his emotions. "You, of all people, would ask that of me?"

Noct snorts, and then shifts, moving so he's not standing in front of Ignis but closer – near enough for him to put a hand on Ignis' shoulder, as if they are both looking out towards the same landscape. After a moment, giddy and reckless from the proximity, Ignis puts his arm around Noct. His hand is sensitive to every breath Noct takes, to the way their sides brush together.

"It'd be nice to watch the sun rise like this," Noct says, wistful and weary. He might be crying, as Ignis is.

"Together," Ignis promises, and allows himself to rest his cheek against Noct's head, closing his eyes to keep the darkness at bay.