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Dean was straining to see what Ashleigh was smiling at on the screen, for him it was all just blurry, but apparently their baby was hidden somewhere among those shadows.
"There," the nurse pointed out a small shape to him. He squinted and thought he might be seeing it now, but he wasn't too sure to tell the truth.
“Oh, Dean, isn’t she beautiful?” Ashleigh breathed out, her hand tightening in Dean’s as she turned her large, blue eyes up to him.
"Uh, yeah, yeah he is." Dean grinned. "He's, uh, tiny."
“Well, the baby appears to be healthy, and that’s what’s most important,” the nurse beamed at the two parents, clicking a few buttons on the ultrasound machine to change the image. “Would you like to hear the heart beat?”
"We can?" Dean asked stunned. Of course he knew how doctors could see all kinds of things on those blurry images, but he hadn't known he could hear his child's heart beat already.
“Yes,” the nurse laughed and hit a button and soon a loud, almost whooshing sound filled the room. Ashleigh’s eyes widened and she gasped, turning to look at Dean.
Dean's eyes mirrored Ashleigh's. "That's our child? That's ... Loud. He sounds strong."
The nurse chuckled again. “We should be able to find out the sex at your next appointment,” she smiled knowingly at the to-be parents. “Now, Ashleigh… I know you came in because of some concerns. But your little boy or girl is right on schedule. Everything’s perfect in here.” She started cleaning up the machine, handing Ashleigh a warm towel to wipe her stomach with.
“That’s… that’s really good,” Ashleigh looked relieved, though her graceful hands trembled slightly as she used the towel. “Did… did the test for the blood they took come in?”
“I’ll send Doctor Wilder in,” the nurse patted Ashleigh’s leg and gave Dean a reassuring smile before slipping out of the door.
Dean squeezed Ashleigh's hand. "Our child is fine, Love," he said softly, knowing it wouldn't help her concerns, but he didn't know what else to say.
“Let’s just wait for the doctor,” Ashleigh whispered back, trying to give Dean a smile. “He’ll probably just tell us that it’s stress… maybe I need to eat more or something…” she swallowed hard and Dean knew she didn’t believe a word she was saying.
He held her hand a little tighter and kissed her temple. A soft knock on the door had both of them looking up as the doctor walked into the room, a clipboard pressed against his chest. He gave them a small smile as he grabbed a chair and wheeled it over to the exam table.
“Oh, God,” Ashleigh whispered, tightening her grip, almost cutting off the circulation to Dean’s fingers. “You don’t look like you’re about to tell me everything’s just fine.”
“Ashleigh… Dean,” Doctor Wilder nodded his greeting and then cleared his throat. “Ashleigh, your child is in perfect health. He or she is growing perfectly on schedule, and we have no present concerns about the fetus’ health. However… the seizures and bouts of nausea you’ve been experiencing have been cause for concern.”
“But you know what’s causing them, right? You’re going to fix it?” her voice sounded so young and uncertain as she spoke. Dean could feel Ashleigh’s small hand shaking within his own and he looked over at her, his own heart pounding a million miles a minute in his chest. “You’re going to fix it, right?” she asked again.
“Your lab results showed high amounts of white blood cells, which we had originally assumed was due to the nausea you were feeling and that maybe you’d caught a mild virus. We... Ah, we received the results from your CAT scan from last week…” He paused and exhaled slowly.
“In your scans we saw something that made us very nervous. You have… you have a small mass on your spinal cord, between the T1 and T2 vertebrae, to be exact. There will have to be more tests to confirm, but from the outward appearance of the mass, it--”
“Mass? I have cancer?” Ashleigh whispered, her voice cracking. “Are you saying I have cancer?”
“We need to do more tests to confirm if the tumor is malignant or benign--”
“I’m pregnant. I’m starting a family, I can’t have cancer!” Ashleigh’s sudden wail had Dean jumping in his chair, the words ‘tumor’ and ‘cancer’ and ‘mass’ screaming inside of his mind.
“Ms. Rayne…”
“Dean, Dean tell him. Tell him I’m fine, tell him I can’t have cancer. Tell him it’s just… tell him it’s morning sickness and I’m fine and we’re going to have a little baby girl and we’re going to be just fine,” Ashleigh was sobbing now, her entire body turned away from the doctor, her hands gripping the front of Dean’s shirt, shaking him with every other word. “Tell him, Dean. Tell him.”
"Ash... Ashleigh. You'll be fine, we'll have our family. They'll… they'll make sure you'll be fine. They'll get that thing out… you'll be fine again and ... You'll be okay. You'll have a baby girl you gotta take care of…" Dean rambled. Like Ashleigh he was in shock and refused to believe what the doctor was saying. She couldn't have cancer. Not now, not ever. He wanted to start a family with his girlfriend. He had finally been happy again, this just couldn't be, this had to be a very bad nightmare.
“We want to do a biopsy right away and run some more tests. I’ve made an appointment for you at the front desk already. Don’t worry Ashleigh, you’re in good hands.” Doctor Wilder patted Ashleigh’s trembling knee and gave Dean a small, sad smile before slipping out of the room, leaving them in the deafening silence.
***
The first tests confirmed it. But Ashleigh was determined to get more opinions and scans hoping to prove the original tests wrong but each and every new test only confirmed it again and again. The seizures increased, along with the vomiting, severe headaches and chills. Dean tried to tell himself that it was just due to the pregnancy and that they would be getting through the next several months alright. After, Ashleigh would do chemotherapy and they would be fine.
Then came the day when Ashleigh was rushed to the hospital from work after she’d suddenly collapsed. Dean had entered her hospital room to find Ashleigh staring silently out the window, her pretty face void of any emotion. And then he knew…
She’d had finally accepted her prognosis… and they couldn’t pretend anymore.
Glioblastoma Multiforme, rare enough on its own, but Ashleigh’s had manifested on her spine. It was like a hideous, living, breathing creature, stretching its inky black tentacles through Ashleigh’s perfect, beautiful body, and choking the life out of her. Chemotherapy and radiation might be able to shrink it, might even be able to stop its progression for a while. It might even be able to give her another year or two with the precious life she carried.
The day Ashleigh lost the left side of her body to hemiparesis was the day they found out they were having a little girl.
“Dean?” Ashleigh looked over at him from her spot on the couch. She smiled sadly at him, the left side of her face twitching and fighting against the movement. Dean didn’t think she could’ve ever looked more beautiful. “Her name is Dorothy. I really, really like Dorothy. Just… just in case I don’t…” She closed her eyes, silent tears streaming down her face. “Dorothy Winchester.”