eighteen

Jaemin knows this: Donghyuck is always unavailable on Saturdays, he only uses Parker pens, and he posts nothing but his dogs and a piano on his Instagram. He should be content, really. This is Donghyuck. Quiet, reserved, always keeps to himself Donghyuck. But Jaemin wants more. He will always want more when it comes to him.
Or, malalaman ni Jaemin kung ano ang pag-ibig na walang tapon sa huling taon niya sa sekundarya.

Notes:

For wydoie (seojiya).

Merry Christmas! This is a fic very dear to me as it's something I have been working on since September. I would like to note that there is a scene in the story where they go to a KTV place and someone makes a joke about drinking, but they do not actually drink and it was all for the punchline.
To A, who I borrowed so much of to write this story. Your strawberry air freshener is running out- I hope your car still smells fantastic the next time you give me a ride.
To ate June, nahyuck president and CEO of nahyuck shipping corporations haha thank you so much for bringing me into this wonderful, wonderful ship! My life quite literally changed when I read sinagtala. It will always be my favorite AU.
This fic is my love letter to blue school- or the people and experience that lives and created inside it. I feel the most alive when I'm there.
playlist is here! Merry, merry Christmas!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: perhaps love

Chapter Text

Hindi inaasahan ni Jaemin ang malakas na buhos ng ulan.

He watched the morning news that day. Tanda niya pang ngumangatngat siya ng pandesal habang binabalita sa Umagang kay Ganda na magiging maganda ang lagay ng panahon. Pinaalahanan pa siya ng mama niya na magdala ng payong, pero tumango lang siya dito at nakalimutan isiksik sa bag ang payong. He really should've known better. Climate change is real, and so are mothers' superhuman instincts.

Nakatayo lang tuloy siya sa harapan ng main building, naghihintay na tumila ang ulan. He's been in here for a long while now, waving acquaintances goodbye, sighing when he sees them walk away with umbrellas in hand. Ang totoo niyan, pwede naman siyang tumakbo patungo sa gate, pero baka mabasa ang hawak niyang pre-cal notes. Hindi din siya sigurado kung may titigil ba na jeep, punuan kasi kapag maulan. Ayaw kumabit ni Jaemin, baka sapukin siya ng nanay niya kapag nakitang puro mantsa na ang uniform hanggang sa sapatos. Kaya naman ay naghihintay na lang siyang tumila ang ulan, umaasang hindi siya gabihin.

Jaemin starts rocking his heels back and forth, impatient. Mag aalas cinco na at baka hinahanap na din siya ng mama. He glances at his watch again, grimacing at the time. He can only glare at the rain, as if he could make it stop.

If it wasn't for the company of his earphones and the music of Peach Pit, baka nabaliw na siya. The rain looks like it's not gonna stop anytime soon. He comforts himself at the thought na maybe one of his cousins could pick him up if he really gets stranded at school. Worse case scenario, baka bumaha and he gets stranded overnight. Okay lang naman siguro makicharge sa open pang offices? Maybe their registrar is kinder than he thinks.

Not Me fades into silence and Hot Knifer replaces it, one of Jaemin's favorite songs in the album. Sumasabay ang lakas ng ulan sa ingay ng earphones niya, and as much as he'd want to go somewhere quiet, the thought of being locked out by their school guard terrifies him. Hindi na lang niya alintala ang tubig na tumatalsik sa school shoes. Nangangatong na din siya sa lamig, pero tiniis niya na lang yun.

The song almost ends when he hears someone call his name. It was faint, distant, and he almost didn't catch it because he was zoning out but he takes out one earphone to check just in case and sure enough, he sees Donghyuck.

"Sorry?" Jaemin presses pause on the Spotify app. "Ano ulit yung sinasabi mo?"

Donghyuck clears his throat, looking everywhere but him. Naririnig na ni Jaemin kung gaano kalakas ang ulan ngayon, and he wishes Donghyuck would speak louder so he could hear him.

"I said," Donghyuck repeats, voice a few pitches louder than usual. "Do you have an umbrella with you?"

Jaemin gawks at him. Why was quiet, reserved Donghyuck talking to him right now? The day, sudden as it is, feels like a warning upon an upcoming typhoon’s entrance. Sa listahan ng mga hindi niya inaasahan ngayong araw, naging bagong dagdag si Donghyuck.

"No, sorry!" Jaemin is almost yelling over the rain para lang magkarinigan sila ni Donghyuck. "Hindi nga ako makaalis dahil diyan." He admits sheepishly.

Donghyuck nods, and then zips his black North Face backpack open to retrieve an umbrella. "Do you have a ride home?"

"Wala." He rolls his headphones into a clean circle and pockets it.

"Okay." Donghyuck says, opening the small umbrella. Jaemin almost smiles when he sees Donghyuck's name scribbled in capital letters on the inside, pero feel niya they're not close enough to find it cute. Kasi naman, Donghyuck and him don’t really speak in class, so sino bang hindi magugulat na he’s suddenly talking to him outside of class?

"You wanna go home together?"

Nabitin sa lalamunan ni Jaemin ang kung ano mang sasabihin niya. He doesn't know whether to take the offer or pass. On one hand, gusto niyang umuwi, pero may parte sa kanya na nahihiya kay Donghyuck. Hindi naman sila close pero nagmamagandang loob ito isabay siya.

"We can share my umbrella, and I brought my car with me. It's better if we go together, you might get stuck in here."

Jaemin looks up, and it's then he realises this is the first time he's taken a good look at Donghyuck's face. He looked very pretty up close. The kind of pretty that makes you wanna steal second and third glances. Nahiya siya sa sarili niya for not knowing this earlier. He's just so… good at blending in and being as silent as possible that he's not the first one you notice when you walk in the room- kaya hindi siya napapagtuunan ng pansin ni Jaemin. To him, Donghyuck's just another classmate he needs to coexist with for the whole school year.

"Jaemin?" Donghyuck asks, pulling him back into reality. Jaemin's heart skipped a beat. His name sounded so soft and lovely coming from him. Nanghina tuloy siya bigla.

"Yes uhm, kung okay lang sa'yo." Jaemin offers him a reluctant smile.

"I offered to take you with me, I guess that means I'm more than okay with it?"

Fuck. Donghyuck's smile is so charming. It isn't anything huge, not even a grin, but it makes Jaemin's heart leap inside his chest.

"Okay." Pagpayag niya sa wakas. Lumapit siya dito at hinanda ang sarili para suongin ang malakas na ulan. Paniguradong basa ang sapatos niya pagkarating nila sa parking lot, nagsisimula na kasing bumaha. He hopes Donghyuck doesn't mind him dirtying his clean car with his wet shoes.

"Cool. You can hold on to me. The umbrella's kind of small." He lets out a low chuckle, and for Jaemin's mental health, he ignores it. Pero mahihibang na yata siya sa sobrang lapit nilang dalawa. Nakakapit kasi siya kay Donghyuck dahil maliit lang ang payong, at ayaw naman niyang mabasa kaya hindi na siya nag inarte. He can smell the strong musk of Donghyuck's Versace Eros sprayed all over his body and he stops himself from sniffing him. Ang bango lang kasi nito! It's like he didn't go through the same hell Jaemin did earlier. Ginagawa kaya niyang sabon ang pabango niya?

"Ready? In three…two…one…" they stepped out at almost the same time, and Jaemin shrieks (embarrassingly so) when the rain drenches the side Donghyuck's umbrella can't reach. He hugs his notes closer to his chest, and almost misses the way Donghyuck transferred the umbrella to his right hand so he could wrap an arm around Jaemin's shoulder to pull him closer. Jaemin wishes he has the luxury to freak out about it, but he's currently being soaked more than he's liking, so he focuses on running faster towards the parking lot, Donghyuck's arm still around him.

Nang makarating sila sa parking lot ay pinagpagan ni Jaemin ang sarili (na saka lang niya narealize na nagmukha siyang tanga, kasi nabasa naman siya at hindi nadumihan). He checks his notes for any damage, and sighs in relief nang makitang napatakan lang ito ng kaunti at hindi naman gaanong nabasa. His left side, however, tells a different story. Kung hindi pa siya hinila ni Donghyuck kanina, baka mas nabasa pa siya. He blushed at the thought. Donghyuck doesn't just smell good, he also feels warm. Somehow, that made Jaemin blush even more.

"My car's right here." Donghyuck ruffles his hair to shake the droplets of rain away as he beeps his car to life. Jaemin nods, following along. Donghyuck opens the front seat door for him and he mutters a small "thank you" before climbing in.

The interior is as clean as he thought. One thing he knows about Donghyuck is he's always neat. From his uniform ironed down to perfection (that stays that way until dismissal!), to his neatly folded handkerchiefs to his perfectly polished leather shoes. At kahit mainit, sinusuot niya palagi ang complete uniform nila, blazer and all. Nahiya tuloy si Jaemin. He just keeps the necktie on and rolls the sleeves when it's hot. Madalas niluluwagan pa when it feels too stuffy. Saka nga lang niya nasusuot yung blazer kapag may formal events or monthly grooming check.

Donghyuck's car thankfully doesn't smell like shit, void of any Glade air fresheners. He only has a lone little pines dangling on his AC that Jaemin finds cute. There’s also a luminescent rosary dangling from his rearview mirror. Jaemin’s impressed Donghyuck’s parents gifted him a car as cool as this at eighteen.

“Sorry for thrashing your car,” paghingi ng paumanhin ni Jaemin nang lumapag ang basang sapatos niya sa carpet. Umiling si Donghyuck. “Don’t mind it.”

Jaemin sighs and lets him rev the engine to life.

🎶

The traffic is insane. Patagal ng patagal ay mas dumadami ang mga sasakyan. Mabuti na lang at hindi na masyadong malakas ang buhos ng ulan. Jaemin dreads being stuck in the middle of the road and he and Donghyuck would have to climb up the roof to be rescued. That would probably make for a funny story but he’d rather not experience it today.

Bumuntong hininga si Jaemin matapos ilock ang phone. Naitext na niya ang mama niya na pauwi na siya at hindi na nito kailangan mag alala because a “friend” is bringing him home. He glances at the driver drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, humming along to the music. He discovered earlier that Donghyuck likes classical music, which is cute and all, pero hindi siya makasabay. Si Beethoven lang yata kilala niya, and he remembers him because they discussed his music back in ninth grade.

The piece playing is soft and makes Jaemin sleepy. Ayaw naman niyang matulog kasi nakakahiya kay Donghyuck, kaya naman ay tinanong niya ito para mawala ang antok.

“What piece is this?”

Donghyuck turns to him, and he looks softer than Jaemin remembers. “Do you wanna change the music?”

“No.” tanggi niya. He genuinely wants to know. Jaemin likes anything that involves music. “It’s…nice. Makes me sleepy.”

Donghyuck chuckles. “Pavane pour une infante défunte by Ravel.”

“Oh,” sagot ni Jaemin. “I wonder how they actually recorded all this stuff kung patay na ang composer years ago.”

That earns a good laugh from Donghyuck, and Jaemin turns to him in surprise. Hindi naman niya sinasadyang sabihin talaga ‘yon. He knows his question was kind of stupid at mas nahiya pa siya nang makitang tumawa si Donghyuck dahil don.

“Musicians play their own rendition of pieces from time to time. This one’s from Louis Lortie, a pianist, who’s very much alive.” Napatawa si Jaemin ng mahina. “They record it and put it out in albums or perform for an audience around the world.”

Napatango tango siya. He doesn’t really know what’s going on in the classical music world so he wanted to ask, and he’s thankful Donghyuck didn’t make him feel stupid for asking. May sense of humor din pala ito, he’s glad to know.

“If you want, you can play your music.”

Jaemin turns to him. “Hmm?”

“You know, the music from your earphones earlier. It was kind of loud, I could hear some of it.” tinapik nito ang tenga at napangiwi, at saka lang na realize ni Jaemin na masyado palang malakas ang volume ng earphones niya kanina. No wonder medyo nabibingi na siya minsan.

“Are you sure?” Napaupo siya ng maayos, getting ready to pull his phone out from his pocket. His music is something he can talk about for hours. Minsan nayayamot na nga si Renjun sa kanya when he yap his ears off about the artists he listens to. He doesn’t wanna scare Donghyuck by being too excited about it.

“Please,” Donghyuck gestures towards the stereo and hindi na nag inarte si Jaemin, he immediately connects his bluetooth and scrolls along his hundreds of playlists. He wants to choose the right music. Para kay Jaemin, the music you share with other people creates an impression of you. He didn’t wanna seem pretentious by choosing a ballad right off the bat, so he settled for the one he was listening to earlier that Donghyuck wants to hear: Peach Pit’s Being So Normal album.

He clicks on Alrighty Aphrodite, smiles in satisfaction when he hears the opening beats fill Donghyuck’s car. Donghyuck doesn’t say anything, just moving his head along. Mukha namang hindi ito naiirita. That’s good. Jaemin can’t help but to sing along softly when Neil Smith starts singing.

As the song plays, Jaemin is just watching Donghyuck’s expression. He wishes he can read it, but his lips remain pressed together and the only indication Jaemin thinks he doesn’t hate it is the way he nods along throughout the song.

“How was it?” Jaemin asks, expectant.

“Hmm…” he tilts his head, and Jaemin’s heart hammers in anticipation. “The guitar’s really funky. I like it.”

“Right?!” Hindi niya alam kung anong sumapi sa kanya at inalog niya pa ang braso ni Donghyuck, and he retracts his hands immediately in shame. Mukhang nagulat ito pero hindi naman galit.

“Play more,” Donghyuck urges him, and Jaemin nods, eyes glued to the screen to hide his embarrassment. He picks Techno Slow next, and they let the silence fall on them.

Mahina pa rin ang usad ng trapiko at milagro na lang na nakakaabante sila ni Donghyuck nang ilang metro. Somehow, Jaemin doesn’t mind. He feels comfortable enough in this quiet little bubble they're in. The silence doesn’t feel awkward, and Jaemin doesn’t feel the need to make small talk. Kahit nagsasalita lang si Donghyuck kapag tinatanong o may kailangan, the atmosphere isn’t tense. He smiles to himself. Maybe he’s not so bad.

Nang tumagal ay naramdaman na din ni Jaemin ang lamig, at nangatong siya bigla nang maalala niyang medyo basa pala siya at wala siyang dalang blazer. Donghyuck must’ve seen him shiver because he immediately lowers the AC, and reaches for something at the backseat. Jaemin was about to say thank you, but shuts up when Donghyuck gently places the hoodie on his lap. His hoodie. The black hoodie with two red stripes at the side.

“You must be cold, I’m sorry. Please put it on.” Tumingin ito sa harapan para maiabante ang sasakyan, and Jaemin’s thankful for it because he wouldn’t see the blush on his face. Kahit nahihiya ay sinuot niya kaagad ito. Ayaw naman niya mamatay sa lamig. He definitely needs to get Donghyuck something tomorrow. Masyado na siyang maraming utang dito.

“Thank you.” he mutters shyly. Binigyan lang siya ni Donghyuck ng thumbs up and he blinks in disbelief. He’s about to lose his mind and all he gets is a thumbs up?! Oh Lord.

The ride stays silent after that, with only Peach Pit keeping them company. Jaemin says a prayer of thanks in his head when the traffic eases and Donghyuck swerves into a road he’s not totally familiar with.

“Shortcut.” he answers Jaemin’s confused look. Tumango na lang siya. Madadaanan lang daw naman ni Donghyuck ang subdivision nila at siya naman itong nagmamaneho kaya Jaemin trusts him.

True to his words, mas madali silang nakarating sa subdivision nila. Jaemin’s impressed. Hindi niya alam may shortcut pala na ganon sa malapit. Nang makarating sila sa main gate ay bababa na sana si Jaemin, pero Donghyuck insisted on driving him all the way inside. Tatanggi na sana siya nang pinaalalahanan siya nito na walang susundo sa kanya at maglakad siyang basa, kaya naman ay tumahimik na lang siya. The guard stops them for inspection and Jaemin rolls down the windshield to show his face to Kuya Anton, at binati naman siya nito. The gate opens and Jaemin thanks him, sliding the windshield back up.

He gives Donghyuck the directions to his house, and they arrive shortly. Jaemin unlocks his seatbelt and turns to Donghyuck.

“Thank you so much!” Tinanguan lang siya nito at ibibigay pa sana ang payong pero umiling siya. Tumila na naman ang ulan, at ayaw na niyang makaabala pa. He unlocks the door, at kahit nakalabas na siya ay nagpapasalamat pa rin. Donghyuck just waves him off, and Jaemin stands there like an idiot waiting for him to drive away.

Mukhang maghihintayan pa yata sila sa isa’t isa kaya naman ay natawa si Donghyuck (Jaemin ignores his heart, again). “I’ll watch you get inside.”

Tinago ni Jaemin ang pamumula ng pisngi sa hawak na notes. He figures Donghyuck wouldn’t have it if he insisted, so he just walks backwards towards their house, waving, hanggang sa makarating na siya sa entrance ng bahay nila. He yells another “salamat!” and laughs when all he gets is another thumbs up, and Donghyuck seems content enough to roll the windows up and start driving away.

Jaemin takes a few seconds to compose himself, willing his heart to stay still, before he opens their front door.

He may or may not have a crush on Donghyuck now.

🎶

Me: (Sent 8:18 PM)
Thank you so much again for driving me home! I owe you a lot

Versace Eros: (Sent 8:45PM)
Don’t mention it, pleasure’s all mine :D

🎶

Jaemin shows up the next day with bags under his eyes.

Hindi siya nakatulog ng maayos. He spent all night trying to dry out his notes and also… look up classical music. Hindi niya alam kung bakit hiyang hiya siya. He just wanted to check it out, but the thought that he checked it out because of Donghyuck makes him blush. Hindi tuloy siya makatulog ng maayos. He swears he can still smell Donghyuck’s shea butter soap and Versace Eros kahit patulog na siya. Nababaliw na yata si Jaemin.

“Napano ka?” tanong ng seatmate niyang si Renjun, pasikretong naglalaro ng Tong Its Go sa ilalim ng desk. “Mukha kang galing sa graveyard shift.”

“Shut up,” he shushes him, watches Renjun pick the cards on his screen. “May ginawa lang kagabi.”

Renjun gives him a suggestive smile and he groans, throwing his pad paper on him. Napatingala tuloy ang physics teacher nila at nagturuan sila agad ni Renjun.

“Sir, oh! Si Na nangbabato ng papel!”

“Eh si Huang po ginugulo ako!”

Napailing iling si sir Velasquez. “Kayong dalawa, silence. Don’t bother your other classmates answering the worksheet.”

Dinilaan lang siya ni Renjun at napailing-iling siya. Kanina pa tapos si Jaemin sumagot dahil sa kanya naka assign ang topic na to nuong pinagawa sila ng presentation kaya naman ay hindi na siya masyadong nahirapan. Tapos na rin kumopya si Renjun sa kanya kaya ang lakas ng loob maglaro ni gago. Hinayaan niya na lang. Kumukopya din naman siya kay Renjun minsan.

He looks around, starts to observe his other classmates. Nakayuko pa sila Yeji at Ryujin habang sumasagot, at mukhang kinukulit pa ni Giselle si Karina na magbigay ng answer. Si Yangyang at Shotaro naman mukhang nage-ML na sa ilalim ng desk. Natawa na lang siya. Then his gaze lands on the boy sitting near the window.

Donghyuck is looking out the window, swirling his pen absentmindedly around his hand. Mukhang tapos na ito judging by the pen marks on his paper. As expected. Donghyuck always gets full marks and little to no mistakes on their tests. Nakakasagot din ito kaagad kapag may recitation. Jaemin guesses that’s why their classmates are kind of hesitant to approach him. Aside from being quiet, Donghyuck’s intelligence is something everyone’s in awe of, including him. Kaya naman ay nagulat siya kahapon nang lapitan siya nito. He didn’t peg him to be the type that makes the first move, but oh well. Sino nga ba siya para tumanggi sa kabutihan nito?

“By the way,” Napatingala ang lahat nang magsalita si sir Velasquez. “I’ll be assigning your partners for your project soon. Be ready."

Nagsimulang mag ingay ang mga kaklase pero nanatili ang tingin ni Jaemin kay Donghyuck. Kalmado lang ito, ayos lang sa kung sino ang maipares sa kanya. Jaemin wishes he had that luxury.

"Sana tayo partner."

Dinilaan niya si Renjun. "Ulol, wala tayong magagawa. Magva-valorant lang tayo buong araw."

Tatawa tawa silang dalawa at ipinasa na sa harapan ang worksheets nang hiningi ni sir Velasquez ito. Pass the paper to the one in front of you daw, kaya naman ay nagkagulo na ang klase at yamot nanaman ang nasa front row dahil magulo ang pagkakapasa nila. Nang mag announce si sir ng dismissal ay tumayo na kaagad halos lahat. Save for Donghyuck.

Nakita niyang dumaan sila Yangyang at mukhang inaya siya nitong mag recess kasama sila, na tinanguan lang ni Donghyuck. May sinabi itong hindi niya marinig at tumango lang din si Yangyang bago umalis.

"Hoy, 'lika na. Maubusan pa tayo ng upuan sa canteen." ani Renjun.

"Una ka na." Sabi niya rito, papalit palit ang tingin kay Donghyuck at sa bag niya. Ba't hindi niya mahagilap ang lunch box? Saang sulok kaya ng backpack nilagay ng mama niya?

"'Ge, sunod ka na lang." Tumango siya kay Renjun at napangiti nang makita na sa wakas ang lunch box. Nakita niyang patayo na si Donghyuck kaya napabilis siya ng lakad, at muntik pa ngang mabangga sa isang lamesa.

"Donghyuck, hi!" He unintentionally slaps his hand on the hardwood desk and Donghyuck looks startled, but greets him with a small smile nonetheless.

“Hi, Jaemin.”

Jaemin’s grip on the lunch box tightened. It was just a hi and his heart’s already overreacting.

“Uhm,” napakamot siya sa ulo. “My mom baked something kanina and I thought I’d give some to you to uhm… you know…. To thank you for yesterday.” Inilapag niya ang lunch box sa lamesa at uminit ang tenga nang mapagtantong ang Rilakkuma lunch box pala ang ginamit ng mama niya para sa cake. Mukha namang natuwa si Donghyuck at lumawak ang ngiti nito, so Jaemin forgives his mom for embarrassing him.

“Cute,” he comments. “You sure this is really for me? Maybe this is your baon?”

Jaemin stifles a laugh. Almost everyone in their school is conyo, but somehow Donghyuck makes it sound cute.

“No, I really asked my mom to give you some. Akala niya pa nga si Renjun naghatid sa’kin, but I told him it’s a new friend.”

Hindi niya alam kung namamalikmata lang ba siya o namumula talaga ang leeg ni Donghyuck. “I’m…your friend?”

“Oo naman! I mean… you ought to be. Bait mo kaya. And you’re also cool. So uhm… maybe it’ll make me cool by association if I start hanging out with you?”

Donghyuck shakes his head with a smile. “You’re the cool one though.”

Napatanga si Jaemin. “What?”

Donghyuck gives him a secretive smile, and he just wants to pry him open and find out what’s going on inside his mind. Jaemin wants to know what he thinks about him, how he feels about him. What’s he thinking of? Is it him? Jaemin thinks Donghyuck being an enigma is part of his charm, but he can see how it’s frustrating, like right now. Especially now. He wants to be in on the secret. What was so amusing?

“Nothing. Thank you so much for…whatever’s inside! You shouldn’t’ve bothered.”

“Oh no, I insist. Nakakahiya naman kung wala akong ibigay. Tsaka, masarap yan! I hope you like carrot cake.”

Tumango si Donghyuck at binuksan ang lunch box, and Jaemin grimaces when he sees that the carrot cake now looks like it was dropped into a grinder. My god. Sana hindi na lang siya tumakbo kanina. Naalog pa tuloy yung lunchbox. Sayang lang magandang presentation ng mama niya.

“I’m so sorry, it didn’t look like that kanina. I was running late kasi and I had to make a run for the gate.”

“It’s okay.” Donghyuck assures, picking up the wooden spoon that was tucked with the lunch box. He takes a small serving of the cake, and Jaemin watches him, eager. Donghyuck nods after a few seconds, giving him a thumbs up. Jaemin sighs of relief.

“It’s good. I like it."

He was about to say something but was interrupted by the continuous buzz of his phone.

“Si Renjun na ata ‘yon. Sorry, I have to go. Enjoy ka diyan! Sorry for the ugly cake, I can get you something better next time!” He waves him goodbye as he runs off. Galit na ata si Renjun judging by the nonstop texts he’s getting and he doesn’t want to anger his best friend.

Jaemin disappears into the door, doesn’t see the fond smile on Donghyuck’s face as he takes a bite one more time, grimacing at the sweetness, and reaches for his water bottle to wash the taste down.

Napatingala si Jaemin nang may naglapag ng kung ano sa lamesa niya isang araw. Nagbabasa siya ng bagong chapter ng Solo Leveling habang period break and Renjun’s off to somewhere so he has no one to talk to, kaya naman ay gamit niya ang isang kamay pang subo at ang isa naman pang hawak ng cellphone.

Si Donghyuck pala. And it was his Rilakkuma lunch box he just placed.

“Thank you for the food. My mom says the frosting was nice.”

Jaemin puts down his phone. “Your mom tasted it?”

“Yeah, I gave some to her when I got home. She says it was nice.”

Napangiti si Jaemin ng malawak. His mom would surely love the compliment and he can’t wait to tell her later. “”Really? Salamat! Sabihin ko kay mama mamaya. Matutuwa ‘yon.”

Binuksan niya ang Rilakkuma box to check what’s inside and he only finds a clean interior. Hindi ito inasahan ni Jaemin. Isinoli talaga ni Donghyuck ang lunch box niya na malinis. Jaemin thought he’d just keep it or give it back dirty… kasi nasanay siyang ginagawa ng mga kakilala ‘yon. Hindi na hinuhugasan para daw “maulit” pa. But Donghyuck gave it back clean and washed, and it genuinely made Jaemin happy.

“Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. My mom really likes baking. Parehas kami.”

Donghyuck nods, and then places another thing on his desk. It’s a blueberry-flavored Dutch Mill. “I heard, uhm, I heard you didn’t like strawberries so I hope that’s okay?”

Jaemin gleefully takes the cartoned milk and punches the straw on the circle. “Just artificial strawberries. At saan mo naman narinig ‘yan?”

“From Yangyang.”

Tumango tango si Jaemin at sumipsip sa straw. He couldn’t help the satisfied sigh escape from his lips, and he sees the beginning of a smile on Donghyuck’s lips.

“Thank you!”

Jaemin snickers when Donghyuck looks away and gives him a thumbs up.

🎶

Me: (6:24PM)
I listened to Ravel btw
I think his pieces are cool
Added to my sleep playlist

Versace Eros: (6:26 PM)
Sickkk
Who else did you listen to

Me: (6:30PM)
This guy with the difficult surname

Versace Eros: (6:33PM)
You’re gonna have to be more specific, I fear

Me: (6:34PM)
HAHAHAHAHA
Kreisler? Is that right?
The Love’s Sorrow guy

Versace Eros: (6:40PM)
Yes that’s right
He wrote both Liebeslied (Love’s Sorrow) and Liebesfreud (Love’s Joy)
Nice piece, great composer
Good work

Me: (7:00PM)
Sorry nautusan
Anyway
Waaah thank you :DD
Ni google ko lang sino famous pianists
Tas I looked it up on spotify
If their work passes the vibe check I'll add them to my playlists

Versace Eros: (7:03PM)
HAHAHA jesus
Vibe check 😂

Me: (7:05PM)
Oo HAHAHA
What’s the story behind the piece?

Versace Eros: (7:10PM)
Don’t know much about it
Just that Liebeslied was part of the Alt-Wiener Tanzweisen (Old Viennese Melodies),
That's what made him famous as a romantic lyricist
Liebesleid, Liebesfreud, and Schön Rosmarin those three
Iirc he had beef with a British critic so he published it out of spite haha

Me: (7:13PM)
Wow
Dami talagang judgemental nuon pa no

Versace Eros: (7:15PM)
Oh you have no idea
The classical music world has so much drama in it
Anyway
If you like those kind of “vibes”
I recommend listening to Satie
Very soft, easy to the ears
Start with Gymnopedie 1

Me: (7:20PM)
Noted noted
Anyone else?

Versace Eros: (7:21PM)
Bach, Brahms, Mozart, Liszt, Schumann the basics
Faure, Shostakovich, Kempf, Bartok if you're feeling adventurous
I think Spotify will suggest similar artists so I’ll leave you to that
Have fun discovering!!

Me: (7:24PM)
Thanks!!

Versace Eros: (7:25)
You too
Recommend me some of those Aphrodite songs you listen to

Me: (7:27PM)
HAHAHAHAHAH Aphrodite songs 😭
Cage the Elephant also makes good songs!!
The Marias din
AYYYYY
Ano din uhm
Barbie's Cradle, Wilco, Blur (and random? lol)
Tas Phum Viphurit if you like the funky guitars hehe

Versace Eros: (7:32)
Alright
This is all noted
Thank you for the recommendation, snowball :D

Me: (7:33PM)
HSBAHSAKHBKHA SNOWBALL??? 😭😭😭

Versace Eros: (7:35PM)
HAHAHAH
You just remind me of him
You’re both cute
Masarap panggigilan

Me: (7:38PM)
Ewan ko saýo!
Huhugas na ako plates byeee
Enjoy listening

Versace Eros: (7:41PM)
Okay, you too

🎶

"Paldo nanaman si Donghyuck, kinginang ‘yan.”

When Jaemin looks up from his phone screen, Yangyang is throwing a set of cards into Shotaro’s desk, joining the other pile. Prenteng nakaupo si Donghyuck sa upuan, nakapanglumbaba. He’s not saying anything but Jaemin supposed the victory was sweet.

“‘Yoko na nga makipag tong its dito, hanap na lang ako ng ibang kalaro.” Yangyang scratches the back of his head and Donghyuck shakes his head with a smile. Ano kaya ang napanalunan nito para mainis si Yangyang nang ganon?

“Wala, wala asar talo ka lang eh. Yan tuloy lilibre mo lunch si Hyuck ng lunch ng isang buong linggo.”

Shotaro laughs, and Jaemin chuckles as well. Kaya naman pala. Understandable ang irita nito, kasi mapapagastos siya ng marami.

“May ayaw ka bang ulam pre? Tanong ko lang para makatipid ako agad.” His friends laugh once again, and Jaemin finds it quite entertaining too.

“I'm not a picky eater." Donghyuck says with a smile.

"Ah, putangina." Napatayo si Yangyang sa inis at nagtawanan sila. Jaemin likes seeing Donghyuck smile. It's very...endearing.

“Palitan niyo na nga ako dito, punta muna ako CR.” Yangyang looks around, finding another potential player, and beamed when he saw Jaemin was already looking.

“Oh, Jaem Jaem Jaeminnie Jaemin.” He skipped towards his desk and Jaemin can see where this is going. Hinila siya nito patayo at umayaw pa siya pero Yangyang wasn’t having it.

“No, really, I’m good wala akong pampusta.” He tries to decline with a laugh but Yangyang’s still gripping his shoulder as he walks him to their desks.

“Shh, you’re making it sound like nagsusugal kami. Katuwaan lang naman. Just a fun game. No money involved, just bets. Don’t let the guidance see you though.” Pinaupo siya nito sa upuan niya at natawa na lang siya.

“Sige,” sagot ni Jaemin at muntik nang mapatalon nang mapansin na nakatitig si Donghyuck sa kanya. He wiggles his eyebrows at him and Donghyuck chuckles.

He turns to Shotaro. “Ano ba ipupusta?”

“Kahit ano,” Shotaro gathers the cards in a neat pile and bends it, letting it fall one by one quickly.

“Sige ganito na lang, ang mananalo dapat bigyan ng hotspot privileges ng mga talo for one week.”

Natawa si Shotaro habang shinu-shuffle ang mga baraha. Donghyuck smiles too. “Sige ba.”

“Ayos.”

“Okay, ako dealer kaya 13 akin. Okay lang ‘yon, Jaem? Oh baka gusto mo din mag deal?” Jaemin shook his head and let Shotaro do the honors. He reclines on his seat, staring leisurely at Donghyuck. Hindi naman ito nagpatinag at tumitig din sa kanya. They’re not doing anything particularly special, but Jaemin couldn’t fight the smile creeping on his face. It’s just silly, the way they’re looking at each other without saying anything. Donghyuck looks amused too, and he thanks God for that, because he doesn’t want to spend his time trying to get inside his mind. It’s kind of difficult to gauge what he’s feeling at the moment . He’s just so… reserved. Donghyuck is not at all shy, he just doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve. Jaemin doesn’t know if he likes that or is scared of that.

“Okay, tapos na.” ani Shotaro matapos idistribute ang cards. Kinuha ni Jaemin ang kanya at napamura.

“Kinginang ‘yan.” He shakes his head as he arranges his cards and he can hear Shotaro giggle. When he looks up, he can see Donghyuck snickering as he arranges his cards. Aba, mukhang marami itong buo ah.

His cards are shit, so to speak. Dalawang pares, walang buo, and the rest of the cards are very random. How he’ll turn the tides to his favor, he has no idea. But he’ll make do with what he has I guess.

Shotaro throws a king of spades on the table, and Jaemin shakes his head. Tangina naman, ano bang gagawin niya diyan? Bumunot siya at nakakuha ng seven of hearts. Napahinga siya ng maluwag sa kaloob-looban. Finally! May buo na siya. Siningit niya ang card mula sa 6 hearts at 8 hearts niya at inilapag ang pinakamalaking baraha niya na queen of diamonds.

He couldn’t see a reaction behind Donghyuck’s impassive face, and that makes him more tense. He takes a while to decide, tapping his fingers on the table, eyes switching from his cards to the pile neatly stacked in the middle of the table.

“Isang bandila~” Shotaro singsongs to tease Donghyuck and they laugh. “Tagal mo pre, Bandila na tuloy.” Humikab pa ito at hindi na napigilan ni Jaemin ang pagtawa. Thankfully, Donghyuck is a good sport and just laughs it off.

“Fine.” sagot nito at nabitin ang pagtawa ni Jaemin nang inilapag nito ang tatlong Queen at kinuha ang hinulog niyang Queen of Diamonds. What the fuck? May straight na ito kaagad na kakasimula pa lang nila?

“I was thinking of being nice,” inilapag nito ang tatlong tres na baraha at muntikan na siyang mabaliw dahil kailangan niya ang three of cloves na nasa buo nito. “But you wanted to do it the hardcore way. So here it is.” Jaemin stares open-mouthed as he sets three ace cards on the table slowly, watching his reaction, and throws his ace of spades for Shotaro. Parang sinasabi nito na “Oh, sayo na yan. Kawawa ka kasi” . Ang yabang! Namimigay na ito agad ng alas, kampante siguro ito kahit maraming malalaking cards.

“Yabang,” he mutters and doesn’t miss the way Donghyuck’s eyes sparkled with mirth as he leans back and crosses his arms.

“Just playing my cards right, snowball.” Inirapan niya ito pero natawa rin. “Playing my cards right, you get it?”

“Whatever.” He waves him off and gestures for Shotaro to do the damage control. Shotaro’s making a distressed face and he knows for a fact na hindi na nito aasarin si Donghyuck. Tangina kasi, swerte na lang kung may uno o dos si Shotaro, kung hindi bubunot talaga ito. He’s thankful he’s not the one sitting next to Donghyuck or he’ll get the worse of it, but he’s not entirely safe. Nonetheless, he controls the cards Donghyuck gets mostly (aside from the ones on the deck of course) so he has a little reign over the situation.

Iiling-iling si Shotaro nang ibinigay nito ang five of clubs niya. From the corner of his eye, he can see Donghyuck staring so he gives him a “what?” look and Donghyuck just shakes his head, lips tugged upwards in that secretive smile of his again. Ayan nanaman siya. He drives Jaemin insane with the way he keeps to himself most of the time. Jaemin is not one to talk as he’s not very chatty, but Donghyuck always smiles like he knows a secret Jaemin doesn’t, and it frustrates him to think that he doesn’t know what it is.

Inilapag kaagad ni Jaemin ang buong baraha– magkasunod na tres, kwatro, at sais. It makes Donghyuck laugh, folding the cards on his hands lightly. He's deciding about his next move when Yunjin strides towards them.

"Hyuck," she calls. "Do you have money?"

"How much?" Donghyuck asks without looking up from his cards.

"Enough for twenty dollars. Let's exchange." Yunjin huffs, pulling a seat to sit next to them. Sinilip niya ang baraha ni Shotaro at ni Donghyuck saka napatawa.

"That's 1,180 pesos." Bumunot si Donghyuck ng baraha at inayos ang nasa mga kamay, didn't even stop to do the math in his head. Jaemin thinks it's hot.

Yunjin crosses her arms, watching as Donghyuck shuffles his cards, smiling at something. "Okay, 1,180 pesos then."

"Alright, wait." Habang nagdedesisyon pa si Donghyuck ay tinanong ni Jaemin si Yunjin.

"Why do you need money?" As far as he knows, Yunjin's family is one of the largest shareholders in the biggest airline company in the country. There's no way she wouldn't have allowance money. She could probably buy everything in their cafeteria if she wanted to.

Umirap si Yunjin at umiling-iling. "My mom doesn't give me cash. Credit cards lang, and the ones left in my wallet are dollars. The canteen says their machine for credit cards are down din so I can't eat unless I have cash."

"Magpa change ka na mamaya."

"I know! I'm going to, sana di dumating philo natin para matapos na tayo." He snickers, and saka lang niya napansin na nakapaghulog na si Donghyuck. He doesn't look at the card, looks at Donghyuck getting his wallet from his slacks instead. Hindi niya makita kung ano ang nasa loob pero he can see the row of cards nestled against the leather Coach wallet. They have hints of red, blue, black, and gold in it. Jaemin doesn't even want to know what's inside.

"Have you tried using a card?" Shotaro asks. Tumingin ito sa kumpulan ng baraha at napanganga.

"I did! Kaso sira daw yung machine. So I have to ask for money or else I'll starve. Ugh. This is annoying." Donghyuck hands Yunjin crisp bills that look like they were newly minted. Isang one thousand, isang one hundred, at apat na bente. The exact amount. Yunjin's frown turns into a smile as she thanks Donghyuck silently and counts the bills in her hand to make sure. Her white nails look amazing in the contrast of the colored bills. Meanwhile, Shotaro seems to be saying something but he's too preoccupied to stare at the pretty bills. Ganda kasi nitong tignan, parang fresh from the bank sa kinis ng papel.

"Thanks, Hyuckster. Here's your twenty dollars." Inabot niya ang pera kay Donghyuck at tinanggap naman nito. "Pa change ka na lang sa SM mamaya. Thank you ulit!" She gives his hair a ruffle and Jaemin laughs.

Donghyuck nudges his feet below the table, giving him a small smile. "Tapos na."

Kumunot ang noo ni Jaemin. "Anong tapos na?"

Shotaro points at Donghyuck's cards. "Tong its na si Hyuck, pre. Di ka nakikinig."

Jaemin looks down, horrified, and confirms with his own eyes na tong its na nga talaga si Donghyuck. He didn't even hear it. He was so cool about it too.

Ah, no wonder Yangyang hates playing with him.

Jaemin throws his cards at the pile and jokingly prompts his pissed off leave, but Shotaro pulls him back with a laugh and Donghyuck's bright grin makes his loss less painful.

🎶

Me: (7:18PM)

Heyyyy

Are u done sa pre cal

Versace Eros: (7:19PM)

Not yet

Katamad mag solve HAHAHAHA

Me: (7:19PM)

gago same HAHAHAHAHAA

Daming gagawin

Versace Eros: (7:21PM)

If you need help just lmk though

Me: (7:21PM)

Wow very helpful classmate naman 😏

Versace Eros: (7:22PM)

Gagi HAHAHA

Sige have fun figuring out sa integrals ah

Me: (7:23PM)

To naman

Noooo don't abandon me you're so sexy aha 🥺

Versace Eros: (7:23PM)

you have to beg harder than that

Me: (7:24PM)

Ay abusado na HAHSHAHS

Muntik na nga ako ma utas kanina lamang lang ng dalawa baraha ni shotaro HSHSHSHSH

I thought i had to beg for my life 😭 lalaki na babayaran ni daddy sa data plan ko HAHAHSHS

Versace Eros (7:25PM)

your playing sucks, snowball

Try harder next time

Me: (7:25PM)

Anong try harder!!!

May whammy shit ka lang talaga kay napapanalo mo lahat ng laro

Versace Eros (7:26PM)

It's called having a strategy

Try mo minsan baka manalo ka na HAHSHSHA

Me: (7:27PM)

Yabang

Sige I'll let you be kasi may bragging rights ka

Next time when I win papagamitin ko yung mga cards sa wallet mo HAHAHAHAHAH

Versace Eros: (7:28PM)

you can try 😏

They're safe here di sila lalabas kasi di ka naman mananalo wahahah

Me: (7:28PM)

😤😤

Hala btw

Did you get the bills exchanged na

Versace Eros: (7:29PM)

Akin na lang yon

Souvenier ko na 🕺

Me: (7:30PM)

So you just gave yunjin money for free? 😭

Gamitin mo na lang yan when you go to the states or whatever hahaha

Versace Eros: (7:30)

Yeah okay lang sobra naman yun sa allowance ko

It was money I didn't get to spend and idk where to spend it so bigay ko na lang HAHAHAHA

Magpalibre na lang ako kay Yunjin some time 😈

Oh yeah we might go sa socal for sembreak gamitin ko na lang dun

Me: (7:34PM)

Uwian mo ko pasalubong HAHAHA 😤🤲

Versace Eros: (7:35PM)

Sure what do you want

Me: (7:36PM)

Ikaw 😏

Versace Eros: (7:37)

Oh you want me as your pasalubong?

Sige

I'll go home to you whenever you want

🎶

Napatingala si Jaemin nang pumasok si Yeji sa classroom na hinihingal. She looks excited, hopping on the small podium of their classroom and tapping the teacher's table to get everybody's attention.

"Guys, guys." Napatingala na din ang karamihan para tanawin si Yeji. “May meeting daw teachers. Wala si Ma’am Arrevalo!”

Naghiyawan ang klase at dumiretso sa pagkuha ng kaniya-kaniyang bag. Huling klase na nila para sa araw si Ma’am Arrevalo kaya tinuring na nila itong dismissal. Kaysa naman tumunganga sila at baka maisipan pa ng ibang teacher na mag sit in para sa klase nila, aalis na lang sila.

“Mineski,” aya sa kanya ni Renjun na tinawanan niya lang. He’s not really in the mood to play games right now. Jaemin slings his bag over one shoulder and is about to walk out of the room when Ryujin catches him by the arm.

“Jaem, KTV daw.”

“Oh, nugagawin?” he teases, to which Ryujin just rolls her eyes and jabs him on the ribs.

“Si Rina nag aya. Bilis na, papunta na kami SM. Sabay kami kay Giselle kasi she brought her car.”

“Ha? Okay wait lang.” He turns to Renjun. “Nagdala ka ba ng sasakyan?”

“Wala, coding.” Renjun shrugs.

“Wait, hahanapan ko kayo kasabay.” Ryujin searches the room and beams when she sees Donghyuck, waving. “Oh, ayan si Hyuck oh! Nagdala siya sasakyan. Sumabay na kayo sa kanya.”

Napatingin si Donghyuck sa kanila nang marinig ang pangalan at umiwas ng tingin si Jaemin. For some reason, he can’t look at Donghyuck without blushing. He’s gonna have to fix that someday.

“Hyuck!” Ryujin calls him over. Donghyuck fixes his North Face bag hanging loosely on his shoulders as he walks over to them. “Punta ka din KTV diba? Sabay mo na sila Renjun at Jaem. Puno na ba sasakyan mo?”

“No.” Donghyuck says. “Sila Yangyang at Shotaro lang naman sasabay ko. There’s enough room for them.” He turns to him and smiles, and Jaemin grips the fabric of his slacks tight when he feels his heartbeat pick up its pace.

“Perfect! Okay, sabihan ko lang ang iba. See you!” She scurries off to tell Hyunjin about their plans and Jaemin turns to Donghyuck.

“Sure ka okay lang?”

Donghyuck nods to assure him, tapping him on the back. Okay. He’s convinced.

He doesn’t miss the way Renjun eyes the both of them maliciously, pero ipinagsawalang bahala niya ito habang naglalakad sila papunta sa parking. Renjun asks Donghyuck about his Overwatch stats, and they get into a quiet conversation about ranks and weaponry that Jaemin doesn’t understand dahil hindi naman siya naglalaro ng Overwatch. He did try once but it just wasn’t his cup of tea. Besides, he’d rather play DOTA 2 with Renjun because he could lord over his Ancient rank to Renjun’s lowly Guardian rank. Ang sarap lang nitong asarin lalo na kapag hindi sila magkakampi.

Sinalubong sila ng dagsa ng mga estudyante paglabas at hindi naman ito alintala ni Jaemin pero nagulat siya nang hilahin siya ni Donghyuck papalapit. He tugs his crumpled shirt closer and Jaemin smiles to himself as Donghyuck doesn’t even break his conversation with Renjun, focused on comparing which heroes are better. The hand stays on his shirt, not tugging anymore but holding on to him to not lose him to the crowd.

Cute, Jaemin thinks.

Hinayaan niya lang ang sarili na mahila ni Donghyuck habang tinitignan niya kung may bagong update ba ang Solo Levelling. Jaemin huffs in disappointment when he sees there’s none and scrolls through his list of on going reads instead to find which one of them updated. Tower of God has a new update so he clicks on it, eager to read the latest chapter.

Hindi niya napansin na nakarating na pala sila sa parking kung hindi lang pinatunog ni Donghyuck ang sasakyan at napamura ng malakas si Yangyang na nakasandal dito. Napatawa sila ng malakas nang pinakyuhan ni Yangyang si Donghyuck at tinignan ito ng masa. Kawawa naman.

Jaemin looks at Donghyuck who’s snickering as he avoids being decked by Yangyang on the face. Nagpapanggap pa si Donghyuck na hinahanap nito ang tamang susi para sa pinto habang tinatakbuhan si Yangyang at hindi magkamayaw ng tawa si Jaemin. His car has a centralized lock and that means he doesn’t need to insert a key to open it and that made the whole ordeal funnier. May pagka pilyo din pala ito. Of course. The quiet ones always have something within them, and Jaemin supposed mischief comes with it.

“Okay, enough. I’m sorry! Why were you even leaning there in the first place?” Tatawa-tawang sabi ni Donghyuck habang binubuksan ang pinto ng sasakyan. He motions for Jaemin to climb in and Jaemin shakes his head with a smile as he settles inside. Habang iniiwasan pa ni Donghyuck ang galit ni Yangyang ay sinubukang buksan ni Jaemin ang pinto sa likod. He tries for the one he thinks is the handle and tugs on it, but the door doesn’t budge.

“Hyuck.” he calls him over, and Donghyuck turns to him instantly, a bright smile on his face. Jaemin clenches his slacks again as he tries to calm his heart down. “Hindi ko mabuksan, paano ba ‘to?”

“Oh,” Donghyuck jogs over to him and Jaemin holds his breath when Donghyuck is leaning on him to open the back door. He can feel his warmth as his shoulder brushes past his, trying to reach for the handle. Jaemin can smell his lemon shampoo because he’s so close that the top of Donghyuck’s head is a centimeter away from Jaemin’s lips. He can feel the strands of Donghyuck’s hair sticking out, barely brushing his mouth. He breathes a sigh of relief when Donghyuck finally opens the backdoor and steps away from him. Muntik na siyang malagutan ng hininga.

Ano ba naman tong FJ Cruiser ni Hyuck, maliit na nga ang pinto sa likod, hindi pa mahanap kaagad kung saan ang handle. But he shouldn’t be complaining, really, nakikisakay na nga lang siya. Besides, he thinks Donghyuck’s car is cool too. It’s customized and looks a little different than the usual FJ Cruiser. To think Donghyuck’s driving a car as cool as this at the age of eighteen makes him feel a little envious. Minsan lang siya pinapahiram ng mommy niya sa Hilux nila, saka lang kapag inuutusan. Inang yan.

Inilibot ni Jaemin ang paningin at napangiti nang makita ang rosaryo na nakasabit sa rearview mirror. Of course it’s still there. Naaalala niya pa na hinahaplos ito ni Donghyuck kapag dumadaan sila sa simbahan and he finds it endearing. The interior is still the same. Mataas na dashboard, walang kalat sa kahit anong sulok. Typical Donghyuck. Nga naman, Jaemin didn't expect any major changes to happen when he just rode this car a few days ago. But something’s different though.

He sniffs, leaning towards the air conditioner panels. “Pinalitan mo ba air freshener mo?” Wala na ang Little Pines na nakasabit dito nuon at iba na rin ang bango ng sasakyan nito. It smells…sweet.

“Huh? Ah, yeah. It’s vanilla now.” Donghyuck says as he fastens his seatbelt on. Tumango tango naman si Jaemin. He catches Renjun raising an eyebrow in the rearview mirror and he gives him a “what?” expression.

“Jaem, tignan mo tong keyboard ni Yangyang.” Jaemin cranes his neck and shifts a little to look at what Renjun’s trying to get him to see. Nakadisplay ang makulay na keyboard ni Yangyang sa phone screen nito at nakita niyang ROG ang brand.

“Angas. Ano to, Claymore o Cerberus?”

“Ulol tignan mo ng maayos yung gilid boy, Cerberus ‘yan.” pagmamayabang ni Yangyang. Tumawa lang siya at ini-zoom ang picture, tinitignan ng maayos ang kabuuan ng keyboard. “Magkano ‘to, Yang?”

Hindi narinig ni Jaemin ang presyo ng keyboard dahil halos mapatalon siya nang abutin ni Donghyuck ang seatbelt niya, hinila ito para lumuwag, at ikinabit para sa kanya. Putangina naman oh. Jaemin glares at him but Donghyuck just gives him a wink.

“Sorry, ano ulit? ‘Tong si Hyuck kasi nangugulat.” Donghyuck smiles a little as he revs the engine to life, clearly amused at his discomfort.

“Sabi ko, isang libo lang ‘yan. Magaan pa.”

“Oh? Ang mura. Makabili nga.” He nods and gets back to sitting properly again. Napansin niyang wala pang pinapatugtog si Donghyuck na kanta at tinignan din nito siya mula sa gilid ng kanyang mata.

“DJ, please do the honors.” Donghyuck gestures towards the stereo and Jaemin smiles, opening his Spotify app and playing Bruno Mars’ Chunky to liven up the atmosphere. Everybody starts bobbing their heads to the song because who doesn’t like Bruno Mars? But Jaemin found Donghyuck doing little dances to vibe with the song and even singing along in hushed tones especially cute. Masyado itong cute.

Jaemin wishes the drive to SM is longer.

🎶

Matapos makapag park sa rooftop parking (wala na silang ibang choice, puno ng mga sasakyan at motor ang buong parking, so Donghyuck had to drive all the way up) ay naglibot libot muna sila. Shotaro decided he wanted to get some food and Renjun accompanied him, meeting with Hyunjin and the others. Nagpaalam naman si Yangyang na magsi-CR muna, kaya silang dalawa na lang ni Donghyuck ang natitira maglibot.

“Rina just texted me,” Donghyuck informs him. “Sabi 30 minutes pa raw before we could get the room. So we’re free to go around doing stuff and meet at the KTV later.”

“Oh, okay.” Inayos ni Jaemin ang pagkakasuot sa bag at inilibot ang tingin sa paligid. There’s nowhere he wants to go in particular, at mukhang ganoon din si Donghyuck dahil nakatingin lang siya sa harapan, taking his time walking.

Nakita ni Jaemin ang nakasabit na susi ng sasakyan sa belt loop ng slacks nito at napatawa. Donghyuck turns to him, curious. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Yung susi kasi,” he gestures to the keys jangling. “Para kang tatay.”

Donghyuck laughs, looking at the keys. “Really? I look old enough to be a dad?”

“No, no!” Jaemin waves him off. “It’s just that, diba ganyan yung mga tatay? Kinakabit yung susi sa pantalon? It just reminds me of my dad.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. Mabuti na lang at hindi ito pikunin. Jaemin hopes it doesn’t make him self conscious. He just pointed it out, is all. He doesn’t mean to offend.

“It’s too bulky to put in my pocket. I might lose it.”

“Tama din naman.” He agrees. They walk around then, looking around the line of stalls and stores inside the mall. Dumiretso na siguro sila Shotaro sa arcade pagkatapos kumuha ng pagkain pero wala si Jaemin sa mood para maglaro. He just played so much LOL last night, naumay na siya. He watches Donghyuck look around and then stop when he sees the Yamaha music store. He turns, looking at Jaemin, eyes asking if he wanted to go inside. Jaemin nods since he doesn’t have anything better to do anyway. Unang pumasok si Donghyuck at binati sila ng staff, at mukhang nahiya ito dahil he politely waves them away.

“Tumitingin lang po.” he says with a small smile. The staff nods, leaving them be. Jaemin almost laughs when he sees Donghyuck breathe a sigh of relief, but he holds it in.

There’s a grand piano placed on a circle podium in the middle of the store, pristine white and sleek. Muntik nang himatayin si Jaemin sa presyo kaya hindi na siya tumingin dito, choosing to look at the row of guitars instead. Hindi siya marunong mag gitara kaya he’s just looking at the designs. He likes the mint green guitar he saw. Tumingin tingin pa siya at pumili ng ilan pang gusto. He likes the red Stratocaster and the guitar that has no holes he didn’t catch the brand of. Hindi niya napansin na wala na pala si Donghyuck sa tabi at nakita niyang nakikipag-usap ito sa staff malapit sa grand piano, and he watches for a while before the staff takes off the cordon to let Donghyuck enter.

Sumunod si Jaemin dito at sinabi sa staff na kasama siya nito, kaya pinapasok din siya. He sees Donghyuck hovering over the piano, looking at the hammers. The lid is propped up so they can see everything, and Jaemin thinks it just makes it look majestic.

Jaemin tries pressing a key, frowning when it doesn't yield softly. "It's heavy." He muses.

Donghyuck hums, absentmindedly playing the beginning of a children's song as his eyes observe the shiny exterior of the piano. "Mas maganda kung mas mabigat."

"And why is that?"

"Helps develop finger strength and control. It's also what I've gotten used to. Just feels more satisfying."

“You play?” he asks dumbly. Of course he plays. It’d be a shock if he didn’t. Jaemin doesn’t even know why this comes as a surprise to him. Donghyuck looked like the type to learn piano at a young age.

“Yeah.”

“Since when?” Donghyuck’s fingers stop fiddling with the keys and jaemin wishes he would continue.

“Since I was six.”

Napatingin si Jaemin sa kanya. “And you still play now?”

“Yeah. Helps me earn cash in Christmas. They tell me to play something and I get a 500 for every song.”

Natawa si Jaemin. Naiimagine niya na ang mga kamag-anak ni Donghyuck na pinapalibutan siya at nagre-request ng kung ano anong kanta.

“Ano ang most requested songs mo?”

“Ugh.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “River flows in you, at “yung pangkasal”.” He makes air quotations and Jaemin finds him even funny.

“They used to make me dance every Christmas, too. 500 for 3 songs.”

This seems to catch Donghyuck’s attention as he looks up to him with a smile. “Sumayaw ka ba?”

“Oo naman! I danced til I dropped. Walang hiya hiya basta pera na.” Jaemin shrugs, but cringes internally as he remembers the times his mom made him dance too much Iyaz songs. ‘Yon kasi ang uso nuon, kaya pinapatugtog lang ng mama niya ang kung anong unang lalabas sa Youtube. “Naumay ako sa dougie at harlem shake kasi aliw na aliw ang mga tito ko nuon.”

Donghyuck giggles, shoulders rising. Jaemin likes to see him like this. Sobrang cute kasi nito ngumiti. Nakakahawa. “I’d like to see a video of that someday. Young Jaemin dressed like a Jabbawockee and dancing to Replay.”

“You’d have to pry the video from my cold, dead body.” Umiling-iling siya. “Play us something.” He urges when he sees Donghyuck still looking at the piano and not playing. Wala masyadong tao sa tindahan maliban na lang sa staff, sila, at iilang mga customer.

“Oh no, I’m just looking at it. We can go now,” hihilain niya sana si Jaemin pababa pero binigyan niya ito ng ngisi at pinaupo. “No way, we’re not leaving until you play us something.”

“Jaem, really, I-”

“If you play me a piece papakita ko sa’yo video ko sumasayaw ng Single Ladies when I was 8.”

Donghyuck stops to consider it, looking around to assess if there’s people around. When he sees the crowd watching them is almost zero, he turns to the keys and sighs. “Fine.”

Jaemin grins. “Yay!” he claps a little as Donghyuck shakes his head and settles on the cushioned seat. This negotiation is gonna cost him but he thinks it’s only fair to give up his dignity if Donghyuck’s giving up his. He just wants to see it right now, ngayon na may piano na sa harapan nila. He wants to see him play, wants to see him graze his finger gently over the black and white keys.

“What do you want me to play?” He gives the keys a tentative press. Binigyan niya ito ng nakakalokong ngiti.

“Yung pangkasal.” biro niya.

Inirapan siya ni Donghyuck. “I’m not playing Canon. I’m sick of that shit.”

“Fine.” He tried racking his brain for a piece Donghyuck could play but nothing came to mind. “Okay, you decide. Gusto ko yung lively.”

“Lively?” Donghyuck thinks, fingers playing a mindless melody as he thinks. “Oh, I think I have one.”

“Cool.” Jaemin steps away so he wouldn’t be casting a shadow over the keys, and to give Donghyuck more space. “Can I take a video?”

“Yes but only if you promise to not show it to anyone.”

“Sure.” He whips out his phone, ready to hear him. Bumuntong hininga si Donghyuck at sinimulan ang pagtugtog. The piece starts off strong, Donghyuck pressing the keys a little intense. It progresses into a louder melody until it softens, and then he repeats it again. The softness returns, and Jaemin absolutely loves the face Donghyuck makes when playing. It’s just so expressive, so passionate. Mahal na mahal nito ang instrumento, na kahit pa medyo malakas ang pagpindot nito ay ingat na ingat pa rin si Donghyuck sa pagtugtog, para bang may buhay ang piano at masasaktan ito kung hindi niya iingatan. He doesn’t notice the small crowd that gathered to see him play, as he’s so engrossed in his playing. Jaemin loves it. It’s like Donghyuck’s showing him a part of his world by letting him see him play, and he revels at the feeling of getting to see him like this.

Kinindatan siya ni Donghyuck habang tumutugtog at pinigilan niyang matawa para hindi marinig sa video, but Donghyuck looks at the camera directly and blows it a kiss, and Jaemin couldn’t help the small laugh escaping from his lips. The piece sounds like it’s coming to an end, and Donghyuck ends it with a flourish, pressing keys as far as his hands could reach until he has no more to press.

“Wow,” Jaemin says, tapping his other wrist to clap because he’s still holding his phone. Donghyuck laughs and shakes his head, leaning in to block the camera, so Jaemin ends the video with a giggle. When Donghyuck turns, he sees that a crowd has gathered to watch him play; the audience gives him a small round of applause and he ducks his head shly, looking alarmed, and Jaemin snaps a secret picture before the expression could turn into something else.

“Stop,” Donghyuck whispers, putting the velvet cloth above the keys and closing the lid carefully. He turns a little to the audience again and gives them a shy smile. Ang cute cute nito. Hinila siya ni Donghyuck pababa na namumula at tawang tawa lang siya. It’s fun to see him flustered. Namumula ang tenga nito at yumuyuko palagi.

Donghyuck turns to thank the staff and they wave him goodbye, singing praises for his playing. They exit the store with Donghyuck dragging Jaemin in tow.

“What’s the name of the piece?” he asks, smiling at the hand on his wrist.

“Chopsticks.”

“Like, the utensil?”

“Yep.” Donghyuck says, popping the p. “The Celebrated Chop Waltz ang formal name niya.”

“Oh,” Jaemin nods. “Nice piece. I liked it.”

Tumalikod si Donghyuck para binigyan siya ng ngisi. “That will cost you one full video of the Single ladies dance.”

Jaemin groans and it’s Donghyuck’s turn to enjoy his misery. “Fine, whatever.” At least I have a video of you now too, he wants to add but decides against it. Baka ipadelete nito ang video. No way! Jaemin’s gonna watch it again and again when he gets home.

He tries to hide the smile on his face when Donghyuck sticks out his tongue to tease him, but fails miserably when he almost bumps into one of the mannequins displayed outside a clothing store. The smile turns into a full blown laugh, and Donghyuck pretends like it didn’t happen–walking straight and leaving Jaemin almost hollering on the floor.

🎶

“Fucking finally.” Jaemin hears Chaewon whisper under her breath. He gives her a smile and a playful jab on the ribs, making Chaewon roll her eyes.

“Kanina pa kasi tayo naghihintay, baka magsara na ang SM hindi pa natin nagagamit ang room.”

“So impatient naman.” He teases her, imitating the tone she always uses kapag nagrereklamo siya sa matagal na loading ng LOL niya sa cellphone.

“Whatever.” Chaewon says, marching forward to link her arms with Yunjin. Natawa si Jaemin at hinayaan si Yangyang na akbayan siya. Makakapasok na sila, finally. Nang makarating sila ni Donghyuck kanina ay nasa labas pa ang mga kaklase, making use of the lounge area. He could tell the staff was annoyed by their noise. Madami kasi sila, and to make it worse they’re rowdy high schoolers who don’t know how to shut up. Jaemin feels sorry for the staff, making a mental note to leave a huge tip later.

They enter through the neon colored hall. Kapag papasok talaga sila rito ay feeling ni Jaemin papasok sila sa bar. Or sa sinehan. It’s just brightly colored (usually with orange and red lights) and the carpeted floor reminds him of a movie theater entrance.

“Everyone, please tone it down.” suway ni Yeji dahil nag-iingay nanaman sila. Papasok pa lang sila sa room maingay na, ano pa kaya kapag nakapasok na? Naawa siya sa staff na nagbabantay sa labas na nakikita at naririnig sila. Nakauniporme pa naman silang lahat at kita kung saan eskwelahan sila galing.

They finally reached the room at isa isa na silang nagsipasok. Habang nag-aagawan sa upuan ang mga kaklase ay inilibot ni Jaemin ang paningin. The room is nice. Justifiable na magbabayad sila ng 2,000 para dito. It’s got high ceilings, and if you draw the curtains you’ll see the view below. He supposes it’s not a pretty sight because of the traffic, but hey, at least they’re in a nice room, right? Mula sa gilid ng mata ay napansin niyang nakikipag-usap si Karina sa isang staff, mukhang nag-oorder ng mga inumin. Yeji is trying to keep everyone in check. Nag-aaway away na kasi sila kung sino ang makakaupo sa mga couch at sino sa sahig. It’s not a small room but because there’s so many of them, it feels compact.

“Uy, ganda ng CR nila pre.” Felix informs him, holding the comfort room door open for Jaemin to see. Jaemin pokes his head inside, nods in satisfaction. It’s clean, surrounded with black marble. May bidet pa! Hindi niya ugali mag bigay ng ratings sa mga lugar online but he’ll be giving this place five stars in Google.

Nang matapos siyang sumilip ay inaayos pa rin ni Yeji ang seating arrangement habang pumipili na sila Seugmin ng kanta sa flat screen TV. Hawak na din ni Shotaro ang mic at mukhang excited na kumanta. Meanwhile, the girls are all huddled in a corner looking at the songbook, choosing which Taylor Swift song they’ll be singing first.

“Jaem.” tawag ni Yeji sa kanya.

“Yes, boss?” sagot niya rito. Yeji points to a small spot, the one between Soobin and Ryujin. “Diyan ka.” He gives her a small salute and jogs towards the couch, with Soobin and Ryujin shouting “eyyy!” as he settles between them.

“Kakanta daw si Jaemin, oh!” Soobin announces suddenly, snickering. “Kingina mo.” Siniko niya ito at tumawa lang sila.

“‘Maya na siya, mahaba pa pila.” sagot ni Renjun mula sa sahig. Nakasiksik ito sa pagitan ng mga upuan, nakikipili mula sa songbook na hawak ni Giselle. Kailangan pa nitong iangat ang katawan para makita ang loob. He looks so small and tiny Jaemin wants to keep him in his pocket, pero tatadyakan siya nito kapag sinabi niya ‘yon.

Jaemin’s eyes land on Karina, gesturing to the table and holding up three fingers. Hindi siguro sila magkarinigan ng staff dahil sa ingay nila. Hindi pa nga sila nagsisimulang kumanta. Oh Lord.

“Your girlfriend’s so busy.” Jaemin muses, nudging Ryujin by the shoulder. Napatigil si Ryujin sa pag-scroll sa cellphone para tumingin kay Karina, and Jaemin doesn’t miss the way Ryujin’s face softens when looking at the girl.

“Alam mo naman ‘yan.” Ryujin says, resignation in her voice. But it’s an affectionate kind of resignation. Nasanay na siguro ito sa kanya. Karina is their class’ vice president after all, and it’s just in her nature to take charge over everything like Yeji. Sobrang organzied talaga ng girls. “Gusto maayos ang lakad palagi. Siya pa nag aya.”

“She really must’ve wanted to unwind.”

“Mhmm.” Ryujin agrees. “Stress na siya palagi sa mga assignment, so I helped to really make this happen. Doesn’t hurt to have a little fun once in a while.” she leaned back, watching Karina finish her conversation with the staff.

He doesn’t know why, but watching them always makes him feel happy. Alam ni Jaemin na nakakatawa na natutuwa siya sa relasyon ng iba, but it’s something he’s used to. No, he knows why.It’s just that…when he sees people being happy and in love, he can feel the warmth radiating from them and he feels the happiness they’re feeling. It’s nice to be young and in love, after all. Hindi naman sa sinasabi niya na hindi kumpleto ang kabataan mo kapag hindi ka magkakagusto sa kung sino, pero iba ang pakiramdam na magmahal habang teenager pa. Adult love is something mature, and loving someone while you’re a child is reserved for playgrounds. There’s something intimate about falling in love while you’re a teenager. It’s exciting, it’s fun, and it doesn’t have to be serious all the time. You’re not too old to take things seriously and too young to not act on your feelings. It’s just the right kind of time to fall in love.

“Okay.” Karina gathers their attention. Nakapamaywang ito at naghiyawan sila kaya naman ay inis itong tinakpan ang tenga. “Shut up! Hyunjin, tigilan mo muna ‘yan.” Hyunjin’s hand entering the numbers for his song stops and he looks around confused. Mukha itong batang nawala sa mall kaya napatawa sila ng mga katabi. Maski si Karina ay natawa din.

“Anyway, nag order ako ng dalawang pitsel ng iced tea at isang 1.5 na coke.” naghiyawan nanaman sila. “Chips too. Piattos, Nova, Pic-A. Whatever. Lahat ng available nila.”

“‘Yun lang?” rinig niyang tanong ng kung sinong nasa sahig. Hindi niya makita kung sino ang natanong dahil madilim na. Pinatay kasi ng mga kaklase ang ilaw dahil may neon lights naman, at hindi masyadong madilim dahil maliwanag ang lugar. Sapat lang para hindi sila masilaw.

Karina shakes her head, wagging her pointer finger. “No drinking, kids.”

They groaned jokingly because they know it will get a rise from Karina. Sure enough, she glares at them and everyone laughs. Jaemin thinks it would be funny but he’d rather not be sent to the guidance office and get a disciplinary slip. No one would really snitch though, but it doesn't hurt to be careful.

“Magsawa lang kayo sa iced tea at coke. Hanggang 6PM lang tayo dito, by the way. So we have 2 hours to have fun.” She turns to the left couch, where a waiting Hyunjin, Shotaro, Yangyang, and Felix are seated. Karina snickers. “Alright, simulan niyo na.”

Naghiyawan muli sila at tumayo na si Hyunjin. “If you know this song, sing along.”

The screen flashes the lyrics to Kendrick Lamar’s Humble and everyone cheers. The song starts and Hyunjin grabs the mic, turning to face them like he’s a rapper (or Kendrick Lamar himself) performing his hit song.

“Nobody pray for me. It been that day for me. Way!” tinutok nito ang mic sa kanila at sumagot sila ng malakas na “yeah, yeah!”. Sabay sabay silang sumigaw ng “My left stroke just went viral!” at sinabayan ito nang mag chorus.

Natapos ang kanta at nag-agawan ang mga kaklase sa kung sino ang susunod. Jaemin leans back, content to watch his classmates fight, when he meets Donghyuck’s eyes. Parang dumaloy ang libo-libong boltahe ng kuryente sa katawan niya nang ngumiti ito. His smile is so soft, so endearing; Jaemin almost melts. Ibinalik niya ang ngiti dito at umiwas ng tingin si Hyuck, tila ba nahiya. Jaemin gets this funny feeling all over his body, like he’s a bottle of Coke shaken–all the carbonation fizzing up and bubbling up inside.

The hour goes on and they enjoy taking turns (albeit decided with chaos) with the mic. Bumirit na si Yunjin at Renjun, nakapag-rap na si Felix at Karina. He’s yet to see Donghyuck with a microphone. Alam naman niyang maganda ang boses nito. Shotaro says it all the time. He heard it too. Once, Donghyuck was solving a Rubik’s cube behind him and he was humming Part of Your World. He found it quite cute. Mahilig din pala ito sa Disney.

Nakadalawang ulit na si Jaemin sa mikropono at nakipag duet pa nga siya kay Giselle para kantahin ang 2012 ni Jay Sean at solo namang kinanta ang For You I Will ni Monica. So he’s spent, and contented himself with finishing the chips on the table. They were having so much fun nang pinasok na sila ng empleyado ng KTV. Their time is up na pala.

They groaned, and Karina immediately stood up to turn on the lights. Bumungad ang kalat nila ng klase at tinuro niya ito. “Everyone, claygo. Walang aalis unless malinis na ang buong lugar.”

Mukhang nagulat ang empleyado sa sinabi ni Karina. “Ma’am kami na po diyan-”

Yeji steps in, hawak hawak ang dalawang pitsel. “Ay okay lang po, sir. Kami naman po nagkalat, kami na po mag-aayos.”

Magpo-protesta pa sana ang empleyado nang tinawag si Yeji at tinanong ito ni Chaewon kung saan itatapon ang mga wrapper ng chichirya. Kaya naman ay bumaling si Jaemin dito.

“Magkano po total na bill?”

Tumingin sa kanya ang empleyado. “Ay, sir. Bayad na po bill niyo. Kanina pa po.”

Jaemin raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Sinong nagbayad?”

“Daniel Hayes Lee po nasa card? Nakauniform din po ng sainyo?–ay ayun po siya, sir.” Tinuro nito si Donghyuck at sinundan ni Jaemin ang tingin nito. Donghyuck gives him a questioning look pero mukhang napagtanto nito ang nangyayari kaya kumindat lamang ito. Christ. When did he even sneak out to pay? Ni hindi man lang nagsabi.

“Ah, okay po. Salamat po.” Jaemin dips his head a little to the employee and narrows his eyes at Donghyuck who’s currently wiping the table with tissues. “What?” he mouths, chuckling, and Jaemin just shakes his head.

Lumapit siya kay Yeji at tinapik ito sa balikat. “Madam, bayad na po bill natin.”

“Ha?” Napatingala si Yeji mula sa baba. “I was about to go around and collect 200 from everybody, ah. Who paid? Si Yunjin ba? Katabi ko siya since kanina. Di naman siya lumabas para magbayad.”

Jaemin jerks his thumb towards Donghyuck. Yeji looks a bit shocked, pero natawa ito agad. “Hyuck! Come here!”

Donghyuck jogs towards them, carefree, na para bang wala itong ginawa. “Yes, ma'am?”

“You paid?”

Napakamot si Donghyuck sa buhok. There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes that Jaemin enjoys seeing, but he’ll never admit that out loud. “‘Di ah. I was here the whole time.”

Jaemin shoves him playfully on the shoulder. “Daniel Hayes Lee daw ang gamit na card. May iba pa bang Daniel Hayes Lee dito?”

Donghyuck gasps theatrically. “Sino po ‘yan? Donghyuck po pangalan ko.”

Sabay silang napairap ni Yeji, who wobbled when she tried to stand up and Jaemin had to hold her in place. “Wait, ganito na lang, I collect 200 from everybody and we pay you instead.”

Donghyuck immediately shakes his head, waving his hand around. “No need.”

“No, I insist-”

“It’s okay! It’s okay nga. We all enjoyed, including me! I’m happy to pay.” Jaemin looks at them going back and forth. He’s on Yeji’s side, lagpas tatlong libo ang bill nila at parang unfair naman sa part ni Donghyuck pero he knows Donghyuck also won’t let it go.

“No, that’s unfair–”

“Yeji, it’s really okay. Okay lang talaga, I swear. I paid it willingly, no need to feel bad.”

They’re having a staredown with him and Donghyuck sighs after a few seconds, resting his hands on their shoulders. “Alright, ganito na lang. How about you tip the waiters instead? Including ate cashier. That way we all pay something.”

Yeji considers it. “Hmm, fine. Still unfair that you paid a lot more, though.”

Jaemin doesn’t even find it in him to find him annoying because the gesture was just so Donghyuck, the kind of generous that’s just lowkey. Donghyuck catches his eye and winks at him, kaya pabiro niya itong tinampal sa pisngi.

Donghyuck laughs, and then turns to their classmates. “Who wants to ride with me pauwi? Raise your hand.”

🎶

They’re stuck in traffic once again (the usual) when Yangyang sticks his head forward from the backseat, requesting to play another Post Malone song. Donghyuck and Shotaro are talking about Donghyuck’s steam wallet and Shotaro’s asking where to pay for it.

“Jaem, Congratulations naman.” Jaemin, sitting in the front seat, gives him a thumbs up and searches for the song before pressing play. He locks Donghyuck’s phone and assesses his matte green phone case. Ginagamit nila ang cellphone ni Donghyuck dahil nahirapan siyang iconnect ang phone ulit. He tried twice and then gave up, so Donghyuck just gave him his phone to play music with.

He’s vibing along to the song as he opens his Instagram and snaps a picture of his view, Donghyuck’s dashboard and cars as far as the eye can see. Rush hour na din kasi kaya mabagal talaga ang usad ng traffic na lang at hindi sila masyadong nagtagal sa KTV. He leaves it as that and posts the picture in his story as is. Tinignan naman niya ang mga naka-mention na IG stories at isa-isa itong inirepost. He’s looking through his classmates’ stories, liking everything, and scrolls past his feed some more to kill time. The song shifts to Martini Bue at umingay ang buong sasakyan. Maski si Donghyuck na nagmamaneho ay kumakanta rin. His fingers are drumming against the steering wheel again, a habit he often does. His fingers are either swaying side to side or he’s tapping the wheel along the beat.

He was singing along as well pero bigla siyang bumahing. Tinakpan niya ang bibig at kumuha ng tissue sa Kleenex mula sa dashboard para pahirang ang ilong. He reaches for his bag from below and sprays some alcohol in his hand. Napalingon siya nang inabot ni Donghyuck ang AC at hininaan ang aircon.

“No, lakasan mo ulit. I just sneezed randomly.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “Baka it’s making you sick. It’s a bit cold pa naman.”

“I’m okay, really.” Siya na mismo ang nagpalakas sa aircon at hindi na sumagot si Donghyuck. They stay like that in traffic hanggang sa tinamad si Jaemin at pumikit na lang. He’s not sleepy, just a bit tired. He wants to relax his eyes kasi buong araw na siyang nakatingin sa iPad at cellphone, dagdag mo pa na nasa madilim na kwarto sila kanina at neon lights lang at TV ang ilaw nila.

He feels the car stop and something that smells like Donghyuck is draped on him. He was about to say something when he hears Renjun speak.

“Hyuck, play tayo NVMD.” Naramdaman niyang kinuha ni Donghyuck ang cellphone nito mula sa kamay niya para siguro iabot ito kay Renjun.

“Alright, but talk softly ‘cause Jaemin’s sleeping.”

Jaemin stills. Narinig niyang tumawa si Renjun at nagsabi ng “‘Di ‘yan,” bago ipinatugtog ang NVMD. The speaker’s volume is still 32 as they were rapping their lungs out to Sean Kingston earlier, and he almost laughs when he hears an alarmed sound from Donghyuck and immediately lowers the volume. Ibinalik ni Donghyuck ang cellphone sa hita niya at naramdaman niya ang pag usad ng sasakyan.

After two songs, Jaemin feels like he’s rested his eyes enough kaya naman ay ibinuka niya na ito. Nagulat siya nang makitang papasok na sila sa subdivision nila Shotaro at Renjun. Tumigil sila sa guard house at sumilip si Shotaro sa nakababang windshield para sabihan ang guard na papasok sila. Pinapasok naman sila agad kaya hinatid na ni Donghyuck sila Renjun sa kanila.

“Hyuck, thank you!” Tinapik nito ang balikat ni Donghyuck at binigyan ng nakakalokong tingin si Jaemin. He gives him a “what?” look and Renjun just smiles secretly. Bumaba na ito at sumunod naman si Shotaro. Magkalapit lang naman ang mga bahay nito kaya bumaba na lang rin siya. They drive away after goodbyes and thanks, dropping off Yangyang next.

They fall into a conversation about Yangyang’s keyboards. Jaemin saw his gaming set up and the keyboard he also uses for his iPad occasionally kaya naman ay tinanong niya ito. They were so engrossed with the conversation they didn’t notice they were outside the building of Yangyang’s condo.

“Dito na ako. Ge, ingat kayo pre ah. Hyuck, lamat boy.” nag fist bump sila at tinapik naman siya ni Yangyang. “Jaem. Salamat, salamat. Ingat kayo!” Jaemin rolls down the window to wave him off. When he rolls it back up, napansin niyang silang dalawa na lang ni Donghyuck ang natira.

“So?” he asks stupidly. He didn’t know why he asked, he just felt like he had to do something with the silence.

“So what?” Habang nasa daan ang tingin nito ay inayos niya ang jacket na nakabalot kay Jaemin (hindi na niya tinanggal, medyo malamig na din kasi). Jaemin feels like if he points it out he might lose his breath. Ipinagsawalang bahala na lang nito ang ginawa ni Donghyuck dahil baka mabaliw pa siya kakaisip.

“Wala, so lang.”

“You won’t play anything, Snowball the DJ?” Inirapan niya ito ng pabiro at pinaandar ang cellphone ni Donghyuck na nasa kanya pa. He punches in his password–0606–and chooses a random playlist on his Spotify. He didn’t need to log in his account kasi nakafollow na si Hyuck sa kanya. The intro to a beloved Madonna song fills the stereo, and he can see Donghyuck nodding along.

“Hindi ka kumanta kanina, ah. Sample naman diyan, Donghyuck Nievera.” asar niya dito.

“Mahal TF ko, sorry.”

“Magkano ba? Bayaran ko.” He reaches for his wallet jokingly.

“Mga ano, 50k.”

He clutches his chest dramatically. “Wow, di ka pala ma afford idol.”

Donghyuck laughs as he swerves to the left. Akala niya ay hindi talaga ito kakanta, nang biglang…

“You’re so close but still a world away, what I’m dying to say is that I’m crazy for you.” Jaemin fights so hard to stop himself from grinning but he just can’t win against the fizziness bubbling inside him when Donghyuck starts singing. He tries looking ahead, pero bumigay na talaga siya at tinignan itong kumakanta ng Crazy For You habang nagda-drive. And what a sight it is. Donghyuck makes driving look so good, but it’s even better now that he’s singing. His voice sounds like honey, smooth and sweet. Abot pa nito ang mataas na tono ni Madonna. Oh, he feels like punching something when he hears him sing the second verse. Totoo nga namang he’s trying hard to control his heart. Tanginang Donghyuck kasi ‘to oh, why does he make everything look so pogi pag siya gumagawa?

He waits for the song to finish before clapping for him. “Galing naman.”

“Thanks, ako lang ‘to.”

“Ha ha.” Mariah takes over the stereo next, singing a classic that Jaemin loves. Kinalakihan niya ang makinig ng female pop singers dahil sa mama niya at masasabi niyang isa ang Always Be My Baby sa mga paborito. Donghyuck’s singing along again, and he feels like jumping out of the car. Gusto niyang gumulong gulong sa aspalto dahil sa kilig pero baka mapagkamalan siyang baliw.

So to not lose his mind, Jaemin asks something. “Hyuck, what’s your favorite phrase?”

Donghyuck blinks, probably stunned at the randomness of it. “My favorite phrase?”

“Yeah.” It would be interesting to know, actually. For people like them who deal with numbers all the time, anything related to literature isn’t really talked about unless it’s a requirement.

“Hmm… siguro… it’s “many happy returns”.”

Umayos siya ng upo, isinandal ang ulo sa bear headrest pillow. “Oh? Why?”

It’s a red light in an intersection and Donghyuck looks like he could be the love of his life. “Because! Many happy returns is something you say to someone on birthdays. But it can also be used on Christmas, or New Year. It’s a versatile phrase, and one with good intention. You’re wishing for a special day to occur again, for it to return. It depends on the intimacy you have with someone of course but,” he meets his eyes, and Jaemin grips his seatbelt tighter. “Isn’t wishing someone for a special event in their life to happen again kind of like saying I love you? Like, I love you enough to want to see you experience another happy moment again. Like, may this day that brings you happiness return again and again so you’d be happy and full of love. Like, you’re special enough for me to wish you well. You get me?”

Jaemin gets him. He understood what he just said perfectly. He understood that the essence of Donghyuck’s little speech is selflessness, and that loving someone means wishing them well. It makes his chest hurt in a good way. To love is to be selfless, he knows.

“Of course.” he answers, feeling his throat closing up. “‘Course I do.”

“That’s good.” Donghyuck smiles that soft smile Jaemin loves. The one that makes him look young. Younger than eighteen. Almost childish, but not quite. “Today’s a special day.” he muses, and Jaemin notices they’re near his subdivision. He turns to him, feeling like he could do anything right at this moment. Build a house, paint the ceiling of a chapel, create a new genre of literature, fall in love. He could do anything. Instead, he says:

“Many happy returns, then.”

🎶

Versace Eros: (8:45PM)
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7ytRd065jv9uG2P39q5sK3?si=ac1ad44ef4c04ffe
Okay sa’yo yan
Where’s mine
Hey
Hey
Faster

Me: (8:55PM)
Inaneto pinabili pa ako ng sabon!!
Lam mo naman layo ng bahay namin sa clubhouse <//3
Haha tanginang subdivision to bat walang sari sari store every corner
Life’s easier if we had that

Versace Eros: (8:55PM)
Yung clubhouse niyong madumi ang pool? HAHAHA

Me: (8:56PM)
Hey!!
Wag mo trashtalk clubhouse namin lifesaver siya pag wala na kaming asin HAHAHAHA
Baka tinamad lang sila linisin yon haha <//3 tapos na kasi summer wala nang naliligo

Versace Eros: (8:58PM)
Ewan ko sa’yo
Where’s my playlist

Me: (9:01PM)
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3YhuErCBsnzWaE2d8wMrbO?si=e6e8c037d8d04631
Ayan na po sir
Grabe po talaga si sir Daniel ang demanding niyo naman po sa personal idol

Versace Eros: (9:02PM)
STOP THAT HABAHKSBHABSHK
Ang formal pakinggan kingina
There’s a reason I have a nickname
Daniel’s only for the people who don’t know me

Me: (9:03PM)
Weh
Natandaan talaga ng employee name mo noh haha ganyan talaga pag nagbabayad through black card

Versace Eros: (9:03PM)
Black card ka diyan haha
My parents would never trust me with that

Me: (9:05PM)
Ah okay visa card lang na nakakabayad ng 4k na bill sa KTV? 🤔
Kita ko yung resibo kanina ah
Why the fuck did we exceed 3k inangyan overpriced din drinks dun ah

Versace Eros: (9:07PM)
Sus
It’s fine
We enjoyed naman
That’s what’s important

Me: (9:08PM)
Yan ba sinasabi mo sa sarili mo pag nagloload ka ng malaki sa steam wallet mo HAHAHAHAH

Versace Eros: (9:09PM)
Yes 😭
Shhh don’t laglag me na
Besides, I didn’t even know how much our bill was HAHAHA
Ngayon ko lang nalaman when you told me actually

Me: (9:09PM)
WDYM???
You just signed it agad?!

Versace Eros: (9:10PM)
Most of the time I just give them my card and close my eyes when the total expenses appear
HAHAHAHAHAHHA
That’s what happened kanina
What doesn’t kill you ika nga

Me: (9:11PM)
I cannot believe you
Che, diyan ka na nga
I’ll review the playlist na
Bat puro to classical music hahaha
Okay fine maybe I need a little schooling to
THERE’S DISNEY SONGS?!?!?!?!
HAHAHAHAHAHAH you’re so cute

Versace Eros: (9:15PM)
Oh hush
It’s a classic
Enjoy mo na lang yan

Me: (9:16PM)
I will :DD
Thank you, hyuckie <3

🎶

“Class, please stay quiet during your library period. I will be back. Wag magulo.”

“Yes, miss.” sabay sabay na sagot ng klase nila, naghahandang ilabas ang mga cellphone sa bulsa. Nang tumango si miss Mutia at umalis na sa library ay sabay sabay na nagcellphone ang klase ni Jaemin, kasama na din siya. Magkatabi sila ni Yeji sa lamesa (na kinailangan pa niyang makipagunahan para makaupo. Nabanas pa si Renjun dahil siniko niya ito).

“Boring naman,” Yeji drawls, head leaning on her outstretched hand on the table. “Jaem, nagdala ka ba UNO cards?”

Napakamot si Jaemin sa ulo. “Hindi, iniwan ko sa bahay. Di ko naman alam may lib tayo ngayon.”

Bumuntong-hininga na lang si Yeji at pinaglaruan ang mga abubot na nasa cellphone.

“Sa’n ba sila Yunjin? Ang lonely mo naman tignan.”

Inirapan siya nito. “Nasa canteen, sumibat para bumili ng turon. Di ako sinabihan, kaya naiwan ako dito.”

Tumawa si Jaemin at tinanong na lang kung tapos na ba itong gawin ang assignment nila sa English. Hindi pa raw tapos si Yeji gawin ang art critique dahil hindi pa kumpleto ang description at judgement niya, kaya pepetiks na lang daw siya. Jaemin agreed, saying it was hard to do the analysis well.

“Hoy, ba’t mukhang biyernes santo ‘yang mukha mo?” bati ng bagong dating na si Ryujin. Tumayo agad si Yeji at hinampas siya ng mahina.

"Eh sa di kayo nag aya!"

"Paano di ka aayain eh nag CR ka! Kakadating mo lang umalis na kami. Usog, Jaem." Umusog si Jaemin at halos mahulog na siya sa upuan nang parehong sumiksik si Yeji at Ryujin. Dalawa lang yung upuan at tatlo silang umuupo, kaya naman ay napakamot siya sa ulo at tumayo na lang.

"Sa'n ka pupunta?" Tanong ni Yeji na pasikretong ngumangatngat ng turon.

"Wala, lilibot lang. May hinahanap ako libro."

"Sus, lalapit lang ‘yan sa admin office kasi malakas wifi duon. Diyan ka na nga." The girls shooed him away and he just waved them goodbye.

Now that Jaemin was kicked from his hard earned place (he kicked himself technically), he has nowhere to go. Naglibot libot na lang siya sa library nila. Ngayon pa niya nalaman na may complete set pala sila ng Harry Potter na pwedeng mahiram. Mayroon ding Percy Jackson, Divergent series, The Hunger Games. Basically every breakout novel or series, their library has it. Aba, may natutulong pala ang paglilibot dito minsan.

He was about to exit the children's books section when he saw someone sitting on the floor. The uniform tells him it's a boy, and he doesn't have a shadow, so he's leaning completely on the wall. When Jaemin takes a peek, he sees Donghyuck. He's holding a black book. He can't see the title because of his fingers, but he sees the author. Emily Dickinson.

Jaemin stays there, watching, waiting. He doesn't want to disturb Donghyuck's peaceful time reading. He could probably spend all day standing near the shelves, watching the boy.

"Come sit with me."

Jaemin jumps when Donghyuck speaks suddenly. Nahiya siya pero nakita na din naman siya kaya tinabihan niya na ito. The carpet feels kinda rough on his pants but he ignores it. Tinanggal ni Donghyuck ang earphones at hinarap siya.

He's as neat as ever, uniform pressed down to perfection and necktie worn properly. Kahit may gusot ang slacks niya, hindi siya magulo tignan. Jaemin figured maybe it's just a Donghyuck thing to carry himself well.

"Hello." Donghyuck greets him, and for some reason, this makes Jaemin snicker.

"Hi," bati niya dito. He takes a peek over what Donghyuck's reading and finds out it's a book of poems.

"Mahilig ka niyan?"

"Poems?" Inipit ni Donghyuck ang daliri para matandaan kung saang pahina na siya bago isinarado ang libro. "Not much. I've only read Rilke, I'm giving Dickinson a shot."

"Oh," tumango tango si Jaemin. "And how do you like Dickinson so far?"

"Hmm," pinigilan ni Jaemin mapangiti nang inilagay niyo ang hintuturo sa baba. "She's great. I like her poems. Very relatable. I’m also reading some Cummings, there’s a poem of his I especially like."

"At ano naman 'yon?"

"I carry your heart with me. Very short. Saw it when I was browsing through Instagram. You know when you look for things at the Explore page and you see these aesthetic IG posts with poems in them? I got interested in Dickinson and him because of the posts."

"Ah, kala ko naman you're a literature buff tas nagbabasa ka talaga on your free time."

Donghyuck giggles, a lovely sound, and shakes his head. "Not much of a reader, no. I like reading comics though."

Napaayos ng upo si Jaemin, napatakip sa bibig. "No way! I like comics din."

Donghyuck looks around, alarmed, and puts a finger on his lips to shush him down. Jaemin makes an apologetic face and speaks softer.

"Ano favorite comics mo? I'm into manwhas these days kaya Windbreaker na lang sasabihin ko tsaka Solo Leveling."

Donghyuck grabs his phone from his pocket and clicks the power button. The screen lights up and it shows Donghyuck's wallpaper, a picture of a British looking man, blonde and decked in a familiar brown coat. Jaemin figured he switched it recently because it was just a picture of a blue sky before.

"Si ano yan diba? Siiii-" Jaemin snaps his fingers as he tries to remember who it is. "Si ano nga, yung magician!"

Donghyuck nods, giving him a small smile. "John Constantine, yes."

"Ah, John Constantine!" Jaemin exclaims, finally recognizing the character. Donghyuck shushes him down again and they giggle when the librarian rings her bell, a warning.

"Yeah, he's the protagonist of Hellblazer comics. I own some of them. Been a fan since I was a kid." Donghyuck locks his phone and pockets it again, leaning back on the wall.

Dose dosenang shelf lang ang kaharap nila ni Donghyuck. Wala masyadong tao sa section na'to kasi sino nga bang senior high ang gustong magbasa ng mga librong pambata?

"Ba't ka nagtatago dito?" He asks after a few minutes of silence.

The only thing they can hear is the ongoing class behind the wall and the mechanical tick of the clock above them. The class sounds like they're having a great activity, based on the distant cheers and loud banging on desks. Jaemin doesn't mind. It was kind of muffled thanks to the walls.

Donghyuck doesn't reply until after a few beats. "The class is too rowdy."

Jaemin giggles. "Sinabi mo pa."

"I like being alone. It's peaceful."

Jaemin hums. "I can see that."

"Kapag ako lang, hindi masyadong maingay ang mundo."

Jaemin stops swirling his pen around his finger, intent on focusing his attention on Donghyuck alone now.

"Bakit? Kapag madami bang tao sa paligid, maingay palagi?"

It's a stupid question. The answer will always be yes. But Jaemin wanted to coax Donghyuck out of his silence and hear his voice. It's lovely, just like everything about him.

"Palagi." Donghyuck rests his wrist on his elevated knee, looking straight at the huge lion on the Encyclopedia of Animals cover across them. "I don't like speaking and that means a lot of thoughts are just gonna be stored in my head. It's frustrating sometimes- not being able to voice it out. I'm not very good with words."

Jaemin blinks, slow and unhurried. The morning sunlight is illuminating the carpeted floor, and it's a boring sight, but he doesn't have boring company, so everything is automatically interesting.

"That's why you like music?" Jaemin offers.

"Mmhmm." Donghyuck confirms. "Music sometimes conveys feelings I can't normally voice out. And it makes me think straight. So I like it."

Silence falls on them again, and it's too comfortable to break, but Jaemin wanted to know.

"What are you thinking about right now?"

"The Cummings poem. '' Donghyuck smiles.

"Say it out loud." Jaemin urges.

Donghyuck blinks, turning to him. "You want me to recite I carry your heart with me right now?"

He nods. "If you'd give me the privilege to hear you do so."

Jaemin's heart leapt through his throat when Donghyuck smiled that soft smile, eyes crinkling and looking so endearing.

"I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart." Donghyuck starts, slow and quiet. Kahit pa mahina ang boses nito ay rinig na rinig siya ni Jaemin. "-I am never without it. Anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling."

Jaemin looks down on the floor. Their hands are only a few centimeters apart and he desperately wants to inch closer to it. But he's scared. He's probably not meant to cross that line, not when he doesn't know if Donghyuck wants it as well.

"I fear no fate, for you are my fate,my sweet. I want no world, for beautiful you are my world, my true.And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant, and whatever a sun will always sing is you "

Jaemin's hand twitches, itching to reach out, to at least touch a little bit of him. But he doesn't know if it's okay. Not yet. Not when he feels like he's gonna cough out butterflies and hopes they find their way to Donghyuck. Not yet.

"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud, and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide, and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart"

As Jaemin looks away, he startles at the sudden touch of a finger- a pinky- wrapping around his own. It's crooked and looks like it didn't grow the way it was supposed to- probably from a childhood accident- but it's warm. And it's enough to make Jaemin smile.

"I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart."

The butterflies are ready to be free, they know their way now.

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eighteen

whoislikegod

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Chapter 1: perhaps love

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