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On special occasions and whenever Gabrielle demanded it, Xena dabbled in a game of surrender with her. It was a far cry from the demeanour she fronted to the rest of the world, but within that fact lay the truth to it all. That Xena was strong because she had felt weak. Xena was hard because of the damage done to her when she was soft. She had spent long, sleepless nights pondering the significance of the game. She toyed with the implications of her heart racing under a gentle touch turned firm. Behind closed doors, in the darkness, shrouded by forest and night, she felt the exhilaration of all her power undone.
Gabrielle was deliberate in her motions as she extracted their cook kit from Argo’s saddlebags. Three trout dangled in the shallow creek from a stringer tied to a low branch. Xena distractedly scoured the undergrowth for delicate herbs and sour fruits to enhance the fish she’d caught for their supper. She found herself glancing across the across the clearing at the way Gabrielle’s strawberry blond locks glittered in the fading twilight.
‘Son of a Bacchae.’ Xena cursed loudly.
Gabrielle whipped around from the kindling she was splitting down to search for the source of the commotion.
‘Xena?’ She called.
Xena grimaced and rolled her eyes, entirely unwilling to admit she’d kicked blood out of her big toe on a rock while staring at Gabrielle.
‘It’s alright, I tripped.’
Even from across the clearing Xena could see Gabrielle fighting a grin.
‘Be careful, love.’ Gabrielle sang out, turning back to her work.
Xena grumbled under her breath, but allowed the warmth in her chest to radiate out to her cheeks under the cover of night fall.
The sting in her toe, the blood bubbling to the surface and dripping warm down her skin, mixed with the sound of Gabrielle humming sweetly made Xena’s pulse quicken. So she dropped onto all fours and stared at Gabrielle through the trees. On her haunches she felt the tension in her body, and she stretched deep into the quivering ache. Then the taut flesh of Gabrielle’s thighs peeking from between the slits in her skirt consumed Xena. She swallowed thickly.
Something animalistic started to build at the base of Xena’s spine, making her muscles ripple. She wanted so badly to be found out, hands and knees in the dirt, heaving and panting like a beast. She craved release in only the way a master could show her dog.
‘Get those fish, will you?’ Gabrielle called over her shoulder. ‘And hurry with those herbs.’
Xena shook her head side to side, and the edges around the moment lost their blur.
‘Yes, ma’am.’ Xena responded, half teasing, half sincere.
Xena tore leaves off several low lying bushes and plucked several small fruits. She stalked into the trees to drop them in the carved wooden bowl beside the budding fire Gabrielle had started. She looked down at Gabrielle for a moment, and the warmth in her belly only deepened.
‘You were only gone a few minutes, how did you get so filthy?’ Gabrielle admonished
Xena feigned bashfulness and ducked her head, but she just drank in the view of the hard muscle of Gabrielle’s ass as she squatted beside the fire pit.
Marking Xena’s silence, Gabrielle turned to study her companion by the dim orange firelight. And Xena made no attempt to hide her stare. A knowing smile crept across Gabrielle’s face. Xena noticed that she almost imperceptibly leaned forward and pushed her arms together in front of her. Xena’s gaze dropped to her accentuated cleavage. Gabrielle’s smile widened when her movements achieved the desired effect on Xena.
‘Well, that explains it.’ Gabrielle answered her own question, audibly satisfied.
Xena just nodded dumbly, her eyes never moving from Gabrielle’s chest.
‘We’ll have to do something about this, won’t we?’ Gabrielle continued in a teasing tone.
‘We can’t have the warrior princess hungry, mute, and covered in dirt, can we?’
Xena shook her head on cue. Then she heard a low chuckle from Gabrielle. Xena felt her dignity evaporating into the night sky. She knew her desire was hot on her face for her companion to see and she didn’t care to conceal that fact.
‘Now, bring me those fish and clean up for supper.’
Xena adored the hard edge to Gabrielle’s normally delicate voice that was reserved for her. Her pride wouldn’t allow her to ask for this by the light of day, but she knew Gabrielle would have her begging and pleading for it before the moon was high in the sky. In the anguish of the space between pleasure and pain, all the lives she had touched were made unreal and far off. Only under Gabrielle’s sure hands and definitive commands was Xena free of the confines of herself.
Xena washed the muck and sticks off her, making sure to clean the gash in her toe well, before she splashed the cool creek water on her face and the back of her neck. The conflicting rush of heat beneath her skin and cold shock of water on top broke out as goosebumps across her arms and legs. The last of twilight dimmed to black and the forest around them stilled. Xena breathed deeply through the heady mix of emotion and physical sensation. She pushed off the ground and went to work on the knot around the branch holding the stringer of fish in place.
When she made it back to their camp, Gabrielle was busy melting down a knob of pig fat in the pan sitting on the coals. The sliced herbs and sour fruits lay inside a sheet of bark beside Gabrielle’s knee. Xena loomed large in the shadows that flickered in the firelight, stringer of fish dangling at her side.
‘Untie those and lay them down with the herbs, will you?’ Gabrielle instructed.
Once Xena had done as she was asked, Gabrielle stuffed the herbs and sour fruits inside the bellies of each fish and skewered them closed with sticks she’d whittled down. She laid them on their sides in the melted fat in the pan, and the hiss and crackle mixed in with the pops of the fire.
Xena just stood and watched the embers glow and the small flames lick at the sides of the pan.
From one of their drinking skins, Gabrielle poured a little water in the pan and covered it with a lid. Xena imagined the steam whirling inside, blistering the skin on the trout and wilting the greens. She looked up to find Gabrielle looking up her.
‘Help me clean my hands, love.’ Gabrielle murmured.
Xena reached down to help Gabrielle to her feet. Displays of affection did not come easily to Xena, so closed off and angry most of her waking life. But she knew Gabrielle treasured those touches, so she held Gabrielle’s hand tight in hers to the water’s edge.
When Gabrielle had asked for Xena’s help cleaning her hands, she meant it in the literal sense. Xena found this out when Gabrielle held her hands just above the water’s surface and stared hard at Xena. Xena noted blush rising in Gabrielle’s face and neck.
Xena toed at the line inside of her that lashed out against attempts at control over her. She was the biggest and baddest that ever lived. Millions had bowed at her feet. She clenched her jaw and set her shoulders. She let nothing out, but could feel her eyes shining ice cold. Gabrielle just peered up at her, a hint of feigned coyness behind her smile.
Xena dropped to her knees beside Gabrielle and took her hands into her own wordlessly. She dunked both their hands under the water’s surface, holding them there a beat and avoiding Gabrielle’s intent stare. With the blood racing through Xena like fire, she could barely form a coherent thought. So she stuck to what she knew to be effective for her in any scenario with Gabrielle, and she did as she was told. Xena carefully massaged Gabrielle’s hands and fingers. She tried to be gentle, but not overly so. Gabrielle didn’t like feeling like Xena was holding back.
When Gabrielle was satisfied, she tugged her hands free of Xena’s and shook most of the water off. She rested a hand on Xena’s shoulder and pulled herself up. Xena rocked back onto the balls of her feet and made to stand up, but Gabrielle tightened her grip on Xena’s shoulder firmly. Xena melted under Gabrielle’s expression of gleeful trepidation. Gabrielle knew Xena’s power and capacity for violence like no other. She was intimately familiar with Xena’s fury. The way it made her pulse flutter was a truth she’d found out not long into their companionship.
Gabrielle adored learning the deepest recesses of Xena’s mind. She invoked Xena’s muscle memory to admire it. She revelled in the immense effort Xena exerted to do as Gabrielle willed her. Gabrielle could read the war of endorphins raging in Xena’s face and in her body language. Gabrielle softened and reach a hand under Xena’s chin to raise her face to hers.
Xena used all her willpower to look up into Gabrielle’s eyes. She felt raw and exposed by the creekside suddenly. Against her better judgement, Xena glanced away to the other side of the bank. Gabrielle roughly pulled her back by the chin. Xena steeled herself and forced herself to sit in the moment, with the creek bubbling softly, the cool night air penetrating the fabric of her tunic, and her companion before her.
‘It’s only me, Xena.’ Gabrielle whispered.
Xena felt herself flinch before she could catch it. But she kept Gabrielle’s gaze and poured her soul into it. Gabrielle broke into a grin, moisture gathering at the corners of her eyes. She bent down to kiss Xena gently, smiling into her lips.
Xena was immensely grateful for the way Gabrielle heard what she couldn’t convey in words. It was a foreign feeling for Xena, to consider herself to be enough exactly as she was, without displays of vigour.
Then Gabrielle returned her hand to Xena’s shoulder, and leaned to one side. She pressed her foot into Xena’s hand which was resting on her own knee. Xena caught on and immediately dipped her other hand into the creek. Gabrielle watched, entranced, as the cool water trickled from Xena’s fist down to the tips of her toes. Xena pressed her thumbs into the flesh of Gabrielle’s heel and dragged them down her arch to the ball of her foot. She gathered more water and repeated the process several times, sweeping the pads of her fingers over her toes. She placed Gabrielle’s foot back on the grass and gestured for the other one. Gabrielle chuckled deep in her chest, sighed softly, and obliged Xena.
Xena’s selective mutism had started as an entertainment for Gabrielle. Her mind was an intricate system of locks and latches, and Gabrielle had long since made it her life’s mission to know all its turns and passages. Her numerous efforts were rarely rewarded, and hardly ever as she expected. But on special moments such as that evening, when the light hit just right, Xena’s facade of stoicism and self control cracked open. From beneath the fracture, Xena’s pure essence of will burst forth, unhindered by the moral quandary that her memories brought her. In this form, Gabrielle was permitted to see Xena in all her boundless power, and to wield it all herself with hardly a whisper in Xena’s ear.
Having grown impatient with the preamble, Gabrielle snatched Xena’s hand from its motions and pulled her along behind her to the clearing. Xena allowed herself to be led by Gabrielle, following where she was tugged. Then Gabrielle stopped abruptly when they were near to the centre of clearing. Gabrielle spun around to face Xena, who nearly stumbled into her.
‘On your knees.’ Gabrielle said curtly.
Xena bit her tongue and sank to her knees, putting her hands behind her back for good measure. Gabrielle beamed down at her for her pliability. The throbbing in Xena’s core that had made itself known earlier in the clearing crescendoed.
‘Would you like to know what’s about to happen?’ Gabrielle cooed.
Xena licked her lips and nodded.
‘Yes, love.’ She forced out through gritted teeth.
Gabrielle’s stern demeanour nearly slipped at the pet name.
‘First you’re going to take your clothes off for me. Then you’re going to eat me until I come. And if I don’t come before dinner is burnt, I won’t let you touch me for a month.’ Gabrielle said.
Gabrielle greedily drank in the expression of terror and determination that flitted across Xena’s features. Xena frantically pulled her tunic up and over her head and rested back down on her knees. She reached forward to catch her fingers in Gabrielle’s skirt. Gabrielle preened at the desperation in Xena’s movements, but she slapped Xena’s hand away sharply, because she knew how Xena liked the game to be played.
A low growl game from deep in Xena’s chest at the sting of Gabrielle’s palm on the back of her hand. It hurt sweetly and stoked the fire in her core. The flicker of hesitation in Gabrielle’s face and then the renewed enthusiasm sent a shiver down Xena’s spine. Xena felt herself drip down between her thighs to her ankles underneath her. She watched unabashed as Gabrielle’s gaze dipped to her patch of dark curls to take in the effect she was having on her.
‘I never heard of a warrior who got so wet from a smack.’ Gabrielle teased.
‘Supper, Gabrielle.’ Xena chided.
And Xena got what she wanted. The back of Gabrielle’s hand collided with Xena’s jaw with a crack. Since Xena had gone limp in the wake of her statement, her head lolled back with the force. Up above them, the moon was glowing a pale yellow. The treetops surrounding the clearing glowed under its light.
Gabrielle stomped in front of Xena and gripped her chin roughly, yanking her head down.
‘Stay.’ Gabrielle barked.
Xena tilted her head back slightly to shake her hair out of her face and behind her shoulders. Gabrielle hiked her skirt up and over her hips, then she hooked one knee over Xena’s shoulder and crushed her hot centre into Xena’s face. Xena opened her lips and sucked Gabrielle’s clit into her mouth, nibbling and kissing at it. Gabrielle made short breathy sounds as she ground her hips forward.
When Xena felt Gabrielle’s thighs tremble, she removed her hands from behind her back and gripped Gabrielle’s hips to steady her. Gabrielle let out a groan and reached down to dig her nails deep into Xena’s shoulders. The sting of Gabrielle’s nails biting into her skin was grounding and soothed the urgency in Xena’s body. Xena sighed heavily, letting her breath ghost over Gabrielle’s glistening folds. She slid her hands down Gabrielle’s hips to her ass, and filled her hands with the soft flesh there. Xena softened her tongue and pulled Gabrielle into her open mouth over and over.
Gabrielle hunched forward, a guttural sound falling from her lips. She reached as far as she could down Xena’s back and dug her nails in before dragging them up to her shoulders as she straightened. Xena shuddered as the cool night air touched the red welts that were raising by the second.
‘Gods.’ Gabrielle moaned into the night sky.
Xena wrapped one arm around Gabrielle’s waist for support and pulled the other arm back. Gabrielle paused and Xena snaked her hand between them. Xena looked up to Gabrielle for permission, and Gabrielle nodded hastily, moving her hands to the back of Xena’s neck to move her mouth back to where she wanted. Xena dipped two fingers into Gabrielle’s dripping entrance. She pulled back in time to see Gabrielle slam her eyes shut and throw her head back.
Gabrielle’s inner walls pulsed around Xena’s fingers, drawing her in deeper. Xena curled her fingers and pressed against the delicate ridges of Gabrielle’s g spot, but she only hovered there, hardly moving.
Here was the moment Xena played by Gabrielle’s rules for. She didn’t mind handing over control to one she trusted so implicitly. For every ounce of blood in her mouth that she bit from her own lips and tongue in obedience, Gabrielle returned tenfold in arousal dripping down Xena’s wrist to her elbow. And Xena felt worthy of her rewards for her efforts of subservience. All the misdeeds of her past were made right in the faith Gabrielle blindly put in her to take instruction. All the violence she had endured and enforced were made docile and innocent in Gabrielle’s trust in Xena.
Gabrielle’s hands were clamped around Xena’s skull, crushing with delicious force. Xena slipped her fingers from inside Gabrielle briefly, which was met with a high pitched whine. Xena kissed her clit once in reassurance, and easily gripped both Gabrielle’s wrists with one slippery hand. Xena tilted her head back slightly and brought Gabrielle’s hands down to her neck. Gabrielle’s darkened eyes flashed in recognition. Her hands wrapped around Xena’s throat and began to squeeze either side just under her jaw.
Then Gabrielle leaned down to kiss Xena on her parted lips which were still slick with Gabrielle’s arousal. When Xena tried to lean up into the kiss, Gabrielle’s hands only tightened on her arteries. Gabrielle continued to kiss Xena too lightly while her hands cut off the blood to her brain. As the fog set in, Xena slipped inside Gabrielle with the urgency imparted from Gabrielle’s vice like grip around her throat.
Xena pumped her hand in and out of Gabrielle slowly at first, but her pace quickened when Gabrielle jerked Xena’s head back forcefully to look down at her from behind hooded eyelids. With her fingers curled she pulled out, dragging her fingertips over Gabrielle’s clenching walls before slamming back inside with all the strength she dared to use.
The evidence of Gabrielle’s enjoyment dripped down Xena’s forearm and glistened across her chin and cheeks under the moonlight. She could smell Gabrielle’s earthy scent surrounding her and filling her up. Gabrielle leaned so heavily on her that she had to adjust her knees underneath her to keep propping her up. Her moans became more erratic the harder Xena fucked into her. She rutted down on Xena’s hand mercilessly. She was beginning to blur around the edges in Xena’s vision.
Xena pressed the pad of her thumb firmly against Gabrielle’s swollen clit, and Gabrielle’s mouth fell open. Gabrielle froze in place, only the muscles in her thighs trembling and her hands still squeezing Xena’s throat. Xena felt her fingers compress impossibly tight inside her companion, and for a second the angle, the pressure, and her fading awareness felt like her bones might snap. Gabrielle shuddered all around Xena. Then everything went dark.
The sound of Gabrielle fussing roused Xena from the most dazzling dream. Her brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of which realm she was in.
‘Come on, Xena. Come back to me, love. Open your eyes.’
When Xena finally came around, she was naked and curled up on her side. Gabrielle was on her knees in front of her, her hands pawing at Xena’s face and neck. Xena grinned sheepishly up at her, feeling slow and sluggish, but sated for the moment.
‘Thank you.’ Xena croaked.
Gabrielle took a deep breath to steady herself. She cupped Xena’s face in both hands, swiping her thumbs back and forth over her cheeks.
‘I came so hard, I must have -.’ Gabrielle started.
Xena shushed her and rested her own hand over Gabrielle’s. She turned her head to kiss the palm of Gabrielle’s hand, then laid her head on the cold, dewey grass beneath her.
‘It was perfect. You’re perfect.’ Xena said.
Although Xena understood well how the world of words defined Gabrielle’s reality, she also knew that less is more, and that Gabrielle’s trust in her extended to the knowledge of her own limits as well. So Xena twisted around and pushed herself off the ground. She balled up her tunic and handed it to Gabrielle. Then she lifted Gabrielle off her feet and cradled her close to her body. Gabrielle dropped her head onto Xena’s collarbone and sighed in contentment.
‘Who says you need to learn the pinch?’ Xena grumbled teasingly.
Gabrielle chuckled and slapped at Xena’s shoulder weakly.
Xena placed Gabrielle down by the fire back at their camp, and went to work gathering their bowls and utensils from the saddlebags. Then she pulled the pan off the coals and set it aside to cool. With the tip of her knife, she gingerly lifted the smallest fish to check the flesh of the underside. When she found it browned to perfection, she nudged Gabrielle’s thigh and gestured to it, grinning in a self satisfied way.
Gabrielle’s eyes had gone dark again, a flush beginning to rise in her chest and cheeks. Her companion was still naked, her skin still glistening with Gabrielle’s come, taken away with the ritual of their domestic life.
‘Suddenly I’m hungry for something different.’ Gabrielle husked.
Xena didn’t need to be told what to do twice. Supper could be warmed up again.