Chapter Text
She’s not sure when it first started – the incessant flutters in her chest.
She’s not even entirely sure what changed. Or why her body had taken it upon itself to start reacting the way it now did. All pathetic and panicked and not in control of itself.
For Kuina, there was nothing worse than that – losing control. She hated the idea of it.
Control was important to her. It was necessary and imperative that she held authority over her own body, and her own brain – they were hers alone to dictate and no one elses.
Lately however, with a certain dark-haired girl in the picture, it’s like no matter how hard she tried, Kuina had practically lost all capacity to do anything at all.
Because God, since when did breathing, or eating, or sleeping at night, or stringing together an ordinary sentence become so difficult?
The sheer thought of the elder girl was enough to drive her insane and Kuina couldn’t stand it.
She couldn’t stand how often she’d find images of the girl creeping into the very depths of her brain and settling there for the entirety of her day.
Couldn’t stand how her breath would seem to hitch and starve her of any oxygen whenever she would near her.
Couldn’t understand why her heart would threaten to beat out of its chest whenever she would utter her name out loud and why it sounded so good to her, in her voice.
Couldn’t stand how nervous she felt during a game with the girl – when thoughts of her getting hurt or worse, would cloud her brain and leave her unable to concentrate on anything.
And worst of all she couldn’t stand the idea of those senseless thoughts in her brain becoming actuality – because if something ever happened to the girl, Kuina couldn’t even begin to fathom what it would do to her.
Nope. Kuina couldn’t stand to imagine that.
She rejected a reality where that was the case.
A world without Rizuna Ann in it was surely a cruel one. And certainly, a world in which Kuina would refuse to participate.
Kuina would simply decline such an existence and decline such a life.
Because those countless days she had spent searching for her were the absolute worst. And because it was complete torture not knowing if she would ever find her again.
So even now, with her brain on fire and with her insides all messed up and mushy, she’d much rather keep the elder girl close and near to her, safely and within arm’s reach.
Yeah. Kuina would much rather that than the alternative of losing her, any day.
The face card games so far had been so brutal as well.
Kuina was practically littered with cuts and bruises.
But with their recent completion of the queen of clubs game (despite having just barely made it out alive and by the skin of their teeth no less), Kuina was almost certain that all of it would be coming to an end soon. All of the pain and death and uncertainty that existed in whatever hell they resided in.
Either that, or Arisu’s optimistic ideals about returning home were beginning to infect her after spending so much time with the boy.
But Kuina could swear that if she blinked just tight enough and thought hard enough, she could practically hear her mum’s voice talking to her and feel her hand reaching for her. It was only a matter of time before they’d be reunited again. She was sure of it.
The only thing that prevented that from becoming a reality right now was the King of spades.
Kuina had spent many nights drawing out battle plans for taking him down in her brain. Coming up with ways to defeat the bastard. Ways to protect her friends in the process. Ways to protect her in the process.
The king of spades may have been one relentless motherfucker, but Kuina was just as unrelenting, if not more.
Besides, she had only just got her back, and she wasn’t about to risk losing her again.
She couldn’t.