Chapter Text
Ibuki Mioda has added 14 people to the group. 14:08
Ibuki Mioda: HELLO, WELCOME CLASS 77. GIVE US A MINUTE TO GET EVERYONE, THEN EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON!
Hiyoko Saionji: Wtf is going on you bleached nimrod
Gundham Tanaka: I believe even foolish mortals as yourself can read, no?
Taeko Yasuhiro has added 14 people to the group. 14:13
Gundham Tanaka changed Taeko Yasuhiro's name to Cel. 14:13
Leon Kuwata: Yooooo, there's a lot of people here.
Ibuki Mioda: ONE MORE CLASS THEN WE'LL EXPLAIN.
Cel: I apologize, I was forced.
Korekiyo Shinguji added 15 people to the group. 14:15
Miu Iruma: Hey you fuckin' virgin, busy girl genius here the fuck is this?
Kaede Akamatsu: Iruma-chan that sentence makes no sense.
Kyoko Kirigiri: I believe she's asking what's going, as many of us are also wondering.
Ibuki Mioda: HIHI EVERYONE IBUKI HERE AND THE PERSON WITH THE MOST AMAZING IDEA EVERRRRRRR.
Korekiyo Shinguji: The caps are most unnecessary right now. o(*^▽^*)┛
Ibuki Mioda: CAPS ARE ALWAYS NESSECARY.
Hiyoko Saionji: Can you just hurry it up already! We don't have all day!
Cel: Ibuki had the bright idea to demand we invite all of our classes to one group chat, to "get to know the people interacting with our family each day".
Makoto Naegi: I think it's a great idea! I'd love to get to know both upper and underclassmen!
Kiyotaka Ishimaru: I agree with Makoto! Greetings everyone!
Kokichi Oma: As long as it's not boooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrringgggggggg.
Ibuki Mioda: AHAHAHAH IBUKI IS GLAD YOU GUYS TOTALLY DIG IT. YOU ALL GOT ADMIN PRIVILEGES SO FEEL FREE TO CHANGE NAMES TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT!
Chihiro Fujisaki: I don't think this is going to end well...
Kaito Momota changed Kaito Momota's name to LUMINARY OF THE STARS. 14 23
LUMINARY OF THE STARS: Is this chill?
Rantaro Amami: You were given permission, so I suppose it is.
Gundham Tanaka: As mortals would say; "Go crazy with it."
Ibuki Mioda changed Gundham Tanaka's name to Goth 1.0. 14:25
Ibuki Mioda changed Cel's name to Goth 2.0. 14:25
Goth 1.0: I... Will allow it.
Leon Kuwata: I didn't know Taeko-kun was goth.
Ibuki Mioda: Between Cel, Gundy and Kiyo our house looks like a Satanist's wet dream!!!!
Goth 2.0: Do not lump me in with those two.
Korekiyo Shinguji: I thought the casket was yours?
(。・ω・。)
Goth 2.0: Traitorous swine.
Goth 2.0 changed Korekiyo Shinguji's name to Korekihoe Shingthotti. 14:28
Ibuki Mioda: HAHAHAHAHA
Korekihoe Shingthotti changed Ibuki Mioda's name to rip mr sprinkles. 14:29
rip mr sprinkles: BLUB BLUB BLUBBLUBLUB NOT LOWERCASE.
Goth 1.0: If you touch Mr Sprinkles so help me god, not even your soul will remain.
Korekihoe Shingthotti: ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
Goth 1.0 has gone offline. 14:30
Korekihoe Shingthotti: Shit- `(*>﹏<*)′
Korekihoe Shingthotti has gone offline. 14:30
Aoi Asahina: Well then.... Should we like introduce ourselves?
Sakura Ogami: That's a wonderful idea, Hina!
Goth 2.0: Yes, you are correct, introductions should be in order. Class 77 if you may?
Nagito Komaeda: So many ultimates in one group chat, it's so... Hopeful.
Chiaki Nanami: Nagito please shut up. Anyway, I'm Chiaki and the nutcase up there is our class' resident lucky student.
Nagito Komaeda: What an honor for trash like me to be acknowledged by the ultimate gamer herself. It makes me so...
Izuru Kamakura: Nagito I can see you giggling and blushing in the dorm commons, cut it out.
Izuru Kamakura: My introduction is I have every talent a person could have. The end.
Kaede Akamatsu: I know I haven't been at Hope's Peak for more than a week, but class 77 kind of seems super intense...
rip mr sprinkles: WE TOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTALLLLYYYYYY AREEEEEEEE. AT LEAST 80% OF THE SCHOOL'S DESTRUCTION IN THE LAST TWO YEARS HAVE BEEN OUR DOING LMAO.
Shuichi Saihara: Wha... Why?
Nekomaru Nidai: Because we have Nagito, Izuru, Ibuki, Hiyoko, and Akane. That's why.
Hiyoko Saionji: Hey dont lump me in with those morons!
Ryota Mitarai: Sorry I didn't see all the notifications, I was working. TwT
Chō kōkō kyū no sagishi: Did you make sure to eat?
Ryoto Mirarai: Uh... Well, I'm going to do that now... Pleasure to meet everyone, see you later!
Akane Owari: Geez what do we do with him...
rip mr sprinkles change Chō kōkō kyū no sagishi's name to "It could be you, it could be me, it could even be-". 14: 35
"It could be you, it could be me, it could even be-": I am not a TF2 reference.
rip mr sprinkles: YOU ARE NOW HAHAHAHA. IBUKI- 1 IMPOSTER- 0
Mikan Tsumiki: helloeveryoneiamMikanTsumikiandibelieveimtheonlyonewithmedicaltrainingsopleasecometomeifyoueverneedto
Hiyoko Saionji: Can someone translate the disgusting pig, not like anyone cares or anything.
Mikan Tsumiki: i'msorry!
Izuru Kamakura added Hajime Hinata. 14:39
Izuru Kamakura changed Hajime Hinata's name to Mikan's personal translator. 14:40
Mikan's personal translator: What the hell? And Hiyoko stop bullying Mikan!
Chiaki Nanami: Hello Hajime. Could you translate Mikan for us?
Mikan's personal translator: Seriously...?
Mikan's personal translator: Fine, whatever.
Mikan's personal translator: "Hello everyone, I am Mikan Tsumiki and I believe I'm the only one with medical training, so please come to me if you ever need to!" Direct quote with punctuation. You're welcome.
Nagito Komaeda: Woah, even a useless reserve course student like you could truly do something helpful it would seem.
Mikan's personal translator: Okay? Did I ask, dickhead?
Izuru Kamakura: S i c k b u r n.
Mikan's personal translator changed Izuru Kamakura's name to S i c k b u r n. 14:43
S i c k b u r n: Deserved.
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: OI NAGITO THE HELL DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY SISTER?
Nagito Komaeda: Oh dear, looks like I've upset the ultimate Yakuza. Please kill me if that is what you require for your ultimate hope Fuyuhiko!
Nagito Komaeda has gone offline. 14:44
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu has gone offline. 14:44
Byakuya Togami: And somehow he's worse than Toko.
Toko Fukawa: I-is that r-really the first thing you say m-master!
Junko Enoshima: HAH THE STUTTERS THROUGH TEXT IS HILARIOUS.
rip mr sprinkles: JUNKO YOU'RE STEALING IBUKI'S CAPS BRAND.
Junko Enoshima: AWWW, WE CAN BOTH USE EXCESSIVE CAPS IT'S FINEEEEEEEE.
rip mr sprinkles changed Junko Enoshima's name to CAPS QUEEN #2. 14:47
rip mr sprinkes changed rip mr sprinkles's name to CAPS QUEEN #1. 14:47
CAPS QUEEN #2: ARE YOU FOND OF MATCHING NAMES IBUKI-CHAN?
CAPS QUEEN #1: IBUKI IS INDEED, VERY MUCH SO!
CAPS QUEEN #2: THEN ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?
CAPS QUEEN #1: IBUKI 100% IS. MEET IN YOUR DORM TO DISCUSS?
CAPS QUEEN #2 has gone offline. 14:49
CAPS QUEEN #1 has gone offline. 14:49
Makoto Naegi: We should all be living in terror right about now.
Sakura Ogami: I fear this is going to end horribly.
Mahiru Koizumi: Can't be too bad, right?
Tenko Chabashira: Yeah! How bad can a few usernames be?
Mukuro Ikusaba: I fear if my sister is apart of it, it can only be bad.
Goth 2.0: Agreed, my cousin too can be a force to reckoned with.
Goth 2.0: Speaking of family ties, I should see if my brother is currently still on the earth. Good day, classmates.
Goth 2.0 has gone offline. 14:51
Sakura Ogami: It would seen the chat creators have dispersed.
Byakuya Togami: My que to leave.
Byakuya Togami: @Chihiro Fujisaki where's the leave button on your crappy app?
Chihiro Fujisaki: Well actually... Ibuki told me about her idea and well, I approved so I... Made it so once you're added you may not leave the group???
Aoi Asahina: WHAT? Isn't that like a hugeeeeeeeeeeee violation of the law?
Chihiro Fujisaki: Wait- What?
Shuichi Saihara: I think it's legal considering no one's privacy is on the line.
Kyoko Kirigiri: That may not be the case, Shuichi. They had no ability to accept the invite and no way to get out, so some could claim scam or even pervasion if they so wanted.
Hiyoko Saionji: So you're saying I could totally sue programmer bitch?
Kiyotaka Ishimaru: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM SUING OUR CLASSMATE. AS LONG AS NO ONE REPORTS THIS CHIHIRO WILL BE FINE. IF ANY OF YOU REPORT IT THIS IS AN OPEN MURDER THREAT, I AM WILLING TO BE IMPRISONED IF THAT MEANS YOU ROT IN HELL.
CAPS QUEEN #2 has gone online. 14:54
CAPS QUEEN #2: Taka join us in my dorm my beloved boy.
CAPS QUEEN #2 changed Kiyotaka Ishimaru's name to CAPS KING, SOLE OWNER. 14:54
CAPS QUEEN #2 has gone offline. 14:54
CAPS KING, SOLE OWNER has gone offline. 14:55
Makoto Naegi: aaaaannnnnd there's another one.
Mikan's personal translator: H o w f u n.
S i c k b u r n: I s i t r e a l l y ?
Mikan's personal translator: N o , n o t r e a l l y .
Leon Kuwata: Real talk, why do you guys talk like that?
S i c k b u r n: It's a twin thing.
Mikan's personal translator: Izuru's brain is more attuned to spaced letters rather when they're like this. It became a thing a few years ago when I found their fanfic folder.
S i c k b u r n: H A J I M E
Mikan's personal translator: WAS THAT STILL A SECRET?????
S i c k b u r n: Y E S , 1 0 0 0 X Y E S.
Mikan's personal translator: O h. O o p s ?
Maki Harukawa: Chaos. I like it.
Chiaki Nanami: Huh, someone in the 79th class is actually talking besides like the occasional 1 sentence question from Shuichi or Kaede.
Ryoma Hoshi: We're all dead inside and/or technologically daft.
Gonta Gokuhara: Iruma-San is teaching Gonta! Gonta will become a pro in no time, swear!
Kirumi Tojo: Amami-Kun is doing the same for me. I believe it will take a while, we are on the topic of 'memes'.
Sayaka Maizono: Hi everyone I'm back from practice!
30+ members have gone offline. 15:00
Sayaka Maizono: Well what the crap.
Chihiro Fujisaki: I'm sure they're all just busy!
Sayaka Maizono: Idk, I feel like no one likes me...
Leon Kuwata: That's not true! A lot of us are heading out to get high and well... The others are doing their things.
Sayaka Maizono: I see, can I join the weed-fest?
Leon Kuwata: Fo'reals?
Sayaka Maizono: Yes, I could use it esp after practice today. Miyahara is such an obtuse bitch.
Leon Kuwata: Hell yeah, Idol drama! The guys are down!
2 members have gone offline. 15:03
Chihiro Fujisaki: And then... The creator glimpses at their barren creation. Dread and loneliness all-consuming.
Hifumi Yamada: I'm still here is you want to... Boot alter ego up...
Chihiro Fujisaki: GOD, NO.
Chihiro Fujisaki has gone offline. 15:04
Teruteru Hanamura: Even I wouldn't stoop that low, tsk tsk.
Hifumi Yamada: S-SHUT UP!
Hifumi Yamada: Y-YOU PANTY SNIFFER!
Teruteru Hanamura: Haha, a chef such as I can value the delicacy of freshly worn undergarments.
Users Teruteru Hanamura & Hifumi Yamada have been IP banned from the app. Please click here for further information. 15:06
Ban Reason: Get the hell off my app. -Much Disgust, Chihiro <3. 15:06
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The blue-haired girl sighed as she dropped her phone onto her bed. The overtly tight outfit of her idol uniform confines her chest like a corset from hell. Sayaka rips it off frantically before she meets with Leon and the others, placing a worn dark hoodie and jeans onto her small frame. She removes the eccentric makeup she's forced to wear even in practice. The dark bags under her eyes make her look older and tired. Sayaka Maizono is tired. She's overworked and malnourished, as any idol should be.
Ignoring the painstaking urge to leave without makeup, she covers the dark circles with concealer and makes herself look happier before gathering her shoes and belongings to leave the dorm. Leon and the others are situated behind the dorm building, sitting on a ratty picnic blanket and chatting.
Leon notices her first and waves her over. They're joined by a few upperclassmen and a lone new attendee. "Hey Sayaka, this is everyone." Leon goes over everyone for her, the Kamakura twins, Souda Kazuichi, Nidai Nekomaru, Ryoma Hoshi, and her classmates Mondo and Hagakure.
"Isn't like bad for an Idol to smoke? Won't it mess with your voice and shit?" Hajime asked, finally looking up from his switch, which Izuru took and immediately started up whatever game one more time.
Sayaka sighed for the umpteenth time, finally sitting on the picnic blanket next to Leon and Hagakure. "If my voice turns to shit, good riddance. I don't know if I can do this job anymore, to be honest." Alarmed shouts of 'what's and 'why's came from most of the boys. "It's been so hard. I've done this for years, but once I got into Hope's Peak, other girls started to spread rumours of me sleeping with someone or the other to get accepted, so my manager's made me start working harder than everyone else in the group. Recently one of the girls in my group Miyahara Yoko has been purposefully trying to ruin my dances and part of the songs, and, God, it's rage-inducing."
The group seemed sombre, save for Izuru, who was far too engrossed in his game to care quite as much. "Sayaka, I know this isn't much because I'm a reserve course student, I'm not like you guys, but you're the ultimate pop sensation. Not Miyahara or any of the other girls. It's you. You got into Hope's Peak off your hard work, not by doing anything unjust and demeaning. So, hold your head high and don't let people like that get you down. You're amazing, Sayaka, and everyone sees it. That's why you're an Ultimate."
Hajime's words sparked more feelings in her than anything her parents could've said. By the time his speech was over tears were welling in her eyes. "Thank you, Hajime. I will do as you said and hold my head high! Anyway, sorry for venting all of that. I thought we were here to smoke?"
The mood, due to her efforts, lifted and the edibles were passed out first while Hagakure tried to find his lighter. "He always does this," Leon whispers to her laughing lightly.
When all was said and done, Sayaka had fun. The banter between Kazuichi and Mondo left a never-dull moment in the group, and Izuru's occasional quips of sarcasm caught them all off guard every time. All in all, the two hours were spent with giggly bubbly feelings, and they all agreed to come again next week. The next day at practice, Sayaka told Miyahara to kindly kiss her ass and performed her part of the routine flawlessly.
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Weed Buddies Incorporate
Woman 420: G u y s ! I stood up to Miyahara today, the look on her face was so funny.
Gundam-Frame 420: Hell yeah! Good shit Sayaka, should've taken a picture tho smh.
I z u h o e 4 2 0: Good job Maizono-Chan. I'm glad practice went well.
Woman 420: Thank Kamakura-Kun, and feel free to call me Sayaka or any variation you want. We're friends!
I z u h o e 4 2 0: I see, then feel free to do the same for me, Saya-Chan.
Things I've shoved up my arse 420: Izuru giving someone a nickname??? And also I'm glad you did what I said Sayaka and that it worked out for the best!
Things I've shoved up my arse 420: OH MY GOD WHO CHANGED MY USERNAME.
Tennis Balls 420: Leon did it.
Third Base Balls 420: RYOMA what the hell! The sell out is real man.
Crystal Balls 420: Haj could've just looked at the logs, I don't think it's a sell out, just easy access.
Tennis Balls 420: ^
Third Base Balls 420: Hiro, I don't want to hear shit from Mr "I'm sorry guys just wait an hour for me to find my lighter as I clairvoyant it out of thin air"
Local Butter Supply 420: I agree with Leon for once, shit was stupid man.
Local Butter Supply 420: NVM LEON YOU'RE A DEAD MAN.
Third Base Balls 420: COME ON THE BUTTER JOKE NEVER GETS OLD.
Woman 420: The Butter joke?
I z u h o e 4 2 0: Mondo took an ad deal to help raise money for healthcare and it was for a butter company that wanted to help out. So his face become the company's brand and he gets 2% of their revenue every month.
Woman 420: Oh, That's fantastic. What company?
Local Butter Supply 420: S a y a k a p l e a s e.
Woman 420: :)
I z u h o e 4 2 0: The company adopted the name Mondo Butter and Co. Last year.
Woman 420: Lmao, I'm going to buy some rn and put the container on my wall when I finish it.
Local Butter Supply: SAYAKA PLEASE
Third Base Balls: How much butter are you going to eat in a day???
Woman 420: ...
Woman 420: WELL OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT GOING TO FINISH IT TODAY LEON.
Third Base Balls: Oh.
Woman 420: Yeah, "Oh."
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THE END