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She was truly on her own. What did it say about her that it was easier to leave her home and her family when she turned 18 than it was to leave Kurt and their shared apartment at 22?
Why was she still mourning an unsatisfying, melodramatic, on-again, off-again relationship? In the end, Kurt was a lying, cheating scumbag. Why did she fool herself into thinking he would make her happy, support her dreams, be faithful, or actually tell the goddamn truth?
For almost four years, she’d pretended not to see his flaws. Sure, she had them too, but he had no interest in changing, no ability to admit when he was wrong.
And as usual, Penny was so intent on making things work that she forgot she deserved to be happy.
Deep down, she knew she’d become too dependent on him, and she didn’t want to be one of those girls. Her mother always said that while boyfriends might come and go, friends were forever.
So she’d broken up with him, spent the last of her savings to hire movers, and officially leased her first solo apartment. Waitressing at the nearby Cheesecake Factory wasn’t her dream job, but at least it allowed flexible hours for when she had auditions–few and far between as they were.
On the downside, her shower didn’t work, and she had $29 dollars to her name.
On the plus side, her new neighbors seemed really nice. While genius scientists were not part of her normal friend group (and she only understood about half of what they said), she hoped she’d get to spend more time with them.
There was Leonard, easily embarrassed and eager to please. And Sheldon, sitting somewhere on the spectrum and adorable with his shy smile and quirky habits. The jury was still out on Raj, who, despite his kind brown eyes, had yet to speak to her. And then there was Howard, with his desperate attempts at flirting and his awful pickup lines. He might take a bit more getting used to.
They were friendly and sincere. which was more than she could say about Kurt.
In the end, today felt like teetering at the top of a staircase, reeling and unsure if she’d fall down. She hoped not.
*****
It turned out she really enjoyed her new group of friends, self-proclaimed nerds that they were. She’d come to understand more about Leonard’s self-esteem issues and Sheldon’s idiosyncrasies. They may be smarter than her by lightyears, but she could kick their asses at Halo.
What in the hell was Sheldon doing at the Cheesecake Factory in the middle of the day? And who wore a winter coat and jacket in the middle of Pasadena when it was 75 degrees?
Evidently, Sheldon regressed when he was sick. It seemed common for him when frustrated, anxious, or upset. She’d have to look into that. Surely, there were choices between healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Whatever. She’d been asked to try much kinkier things than apply vaporub to a man’s chest. If only she was brave enough to voice the thought aloud--it might be worth it just to see Sheldon's face.
*****
Her patience was wearing thin as Sheldon rattled off instructions for emailing him his speech, but she really did owe him.
In the past few months, he’d become more relaxed in her company. Heck, he’d initiated a hug to express his thanks for a used napkin! Being the object of Sheldon’s enthusiastic gratitude was strangely thrilling. From her observations, he rarely touched anyone.
And Age of Conan was fun. It turned out that killing imaginary characters and going on quests was an effective stress reliever. Sheldon was a surprisingly patient teacher, even if he did castigate her for going into his bedroom.
If she felt butterflies whenever Sheldon gave her a genuine smile or an authentic compliment…well, she preferred not to examine those feelings too closely.
Sheldon’s nickname was Moonpie.
Oh, she would never let him live this down!
*****
Sheldon Cooper was her best friend.
What the hell?
It had taken a few years, but Penny was pretty sure that Sheldon’s blunt honesty and obnoxious condescension were usually unintentional. Like his superhero t-shirts, his lack of tact was just part of who he was. And because he was incredibly smart, he could learn if one took the time to explain polite social protocols.
He still struggled to pick up social cues, particularly sarcasm, and demonstrating tact may not be in his wheelhouse, but he had a good heart. She was shocked when he hired Raj to help him keep his work visa, and you could have knocked her over with a feather when he offered to lend her money.
As much as he liked praise for his work in science and his video game prowess, he was humble when helping his friends.
*****
Her shoulder fucking hurt. Where did Sheldon put those prescription meds from the hospital? That they were not within arms’ reach was suspicious. Looking around her bedroom revealed no obvious signs of them and no signs of any brilliant scientists either. Thank God Sheldon hadn’t crept into her room to check on her (or to enact a new organizational model while she slept).
Last night was a bit of a blur.
Penny shifted uncomfortably, unused to sleeping on her back and definitely unused to having a dislocated shoulder. In retrospect, she may have scarred Sheldon for life, teasing him about getting her into bed and telling him he was full of love.
He was, even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself. And it was fun to see his cheeks turn pink.
Who knew Sheldon would be her gallant knight in shining armor? Despite his ridiculously amateur driving skills and his propensity to speak without considering others' feelings, he’d really been a lifesaver the previous evening. He could use some practice providing comfort, his typical sweet smile a bit creepy when he uttered a clumsy “there, there.”
But it was brave of him to take her to the hospital, considering he was a huge hypochondriac.
More importantly, who knew Sheldon had a deal? She’d admit to stereotyping him as asexual (no judgment). But, she definitely heard his breath catch when he’d grasped her breast rather than her elbow. And was it just her, or did he test its weight and hesitate quite a few seconds before letting go?
He definitely had, his hands warm and soft, his fingers long and strong. Now that she thought about it, she had noticed their elegance before–as he played chess, typed 100 miles an hour on his keyboard, and took notes during Klingon Boggle.
Yeah, yeah, she heard herself.
Maybe she was still a bit addled by the pain meds.
Anyway, were it any other man, she would assume he was deliberately trying to cop a feel.
Had Sheldon ever…done that before? Come to think of it, had he ever seen a naked woman? Been kissed? Held hands? Would he tolerate kissing with his fear of germs?
She’d told him not to look, and he’d agreed. He’d lectured her about “the prohibition against looking” as he closed his eyes and awkwardly helped her dress.
But he had looked; he said so himself.
The hero always peeks.
Penny found herself grinning. Whatever makes you feel better, Sheldon.
He came later with a tray filled with tea, toast, fresh fruit, orange juice, and written instructions for taking her medications responsibly. Tears stung her eyes, and she found herself laughing happily when Sheldon demonstrated how to apply adhesive ducks to her bathtub.
*****
Deep down, Penny knew she’d made the right decision in ending things with Leonard. He’d said three big words that she wasn’t ready for, which would have been fine if he could just be patient. She could possibly love him in time, but it wasn’t fair to make him wait for something that may never happen.
Plus, if she truly loved him, wouldn’t she know by now?
He was dear to her, but he really didn’t understand her. He enjoyed dating a pretty girl, showing her off….though not necessarily her specifically. She’d suspected as much a long time ago. Despite his kindness and friendship, they often failed to communicate when it really counted.
Knock-knock-knock “Penny!”
Knock-knock-knock “Penny!”
Knock-knock-knock “Penny!”
She opened the door and blinked. Sheldon looked…different. He arrived in his usual layered t-shirts and a single hot dog in his hand. It was unsettling to see his normally coiffed hair in disarray. He looked like he’d just had a successful makeout session. She suppressed a smirk at the notion.
Turned out he’d been chased by a dog while trying to spare Leonard’s feelings–more evidence that he was capable of empathy despite his insistence otherwise.
It was comforting to know Sheldon still valued her friendship.
She suspected his propensity to regress to childlike behaviors helped him cope. That big brain of his needed time to turn off, she presumed, and he likely appreciated the control he could give up by entrusting another to provide for his needs.
What? She used Google.
Sheldon had always seemed like a strange combination of robot and child rather than a potential boyfriend or sexual being. What kind of things would titillate a man like Sheldon? Did he touch himself? Watch porn? Her money was on hentai.
Who knew? She certainly couldn’t ask. Well, she could, but she might break him.
Regardless, she was rethinking her hypothesis regarding Sheldon’s asexuality. It wasn’t strictly her business, but she couldn’t help her curiosity.
Yes, she would continue to monitor Sheldon for signs of a deal. She needed more evidence before drawing conclusions. And, she might need to do some research on power dynamics.
The boys could do their experiments; she would do her own.
The thought was oddly tantalizing.