Chapter Text
Maki always likes to say that Toge and Yuuta were high school sweethearts, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Between Geto’s attack and Yuuta’s escape hatch to Africa, they stumbled through a couple months of sweaty hand holding and nervous confessions, but that’s all it ever amounted to. They never even considered sharing a heat together or anything like that. At the time Toge was in a phase where he insisted that no one be allowed to see him during his heats, and Yuuta was pre-growth spurt and completely out of touch with his alpha side.
It was puppy love. Pure and simple. They never did anything other than kiss, and even then, they were bad at it. It was embarrassing for everyone involved. To this day, Toge still goes pale when someone brings it up. He can’t believe that version of himself ever existed.
“Please,” Toge whines, all caution thrown to the wind in terms of his technique. He doesn’t care if the neighbors hear him, not if he gets what he wants out of it- and what he wants is more .
He’s not as timid as he was back in school, that’s for damn sure.
“I like it when you beg,” Yuuta rasps, a white-teethed smirk flashing in the moonlight. Just a glimpse of the pointed ends is enough to make Toge shiver.
“Please,” he repeats, pitching forward to inhale that midnight, rain-soaked scent that drips generously from Yuuta’s skin. Toge’s not even in heat and he’s this fucking desperate. He’s laid flat on the bed and his legs are still trembling. God, he’s whipped. “Yuuta.”
“Oh fuck,” Yuuta groans. “You can’t do that. You know what it does to me when you say my name.”
“Yuuta,” Toge says on reflex, so happy to give Yuuta what he wants.
He’d like to say he doesn’t know where that came from, but it would be a lie. After a lifetime of deinals, Toge finally started giving in to all of his innermost, omega-fueled desires all at once. There was only one change, and they both know exactly what it was.
“Keep talking,” Yuuta demands.
“Please,” Toge whimpers. “Please, please, please.”
The room is absolutely steaming with cursed energy. One spark could set the whole thing off. They’re actually fogging up the glass on the windows with this. Toge’s commands weigh heavy in the air, and even though Yuuta is long since immune to them, he is all too happy to comply.
It’s not puppy love anymore.
Embarrassingly, Toge is absolutely ravenous after Yuuta fucks him. He’s a Jujutsu Sorcerer, for chrissakes. He’s experienced every level of exhaustion and depletion known to man. Something this simple shouldn’t knock the wind out of him the way it does, but Yuuta is absolutely relentless. When he’s finished with Toge, all Toge wants to do is eat, sleep and soak in epsom salts.
The only mercy is that Yuuta is at least so busy with missions requests all the time that he’s not around to see Toge shoveling food into his mouth. Meanwhile, Toge is so tired that he doesn’t even want to take missions anymore. He just wants to stay home and get fucked, which is really not the point of being a highly-ranked sorcerer.
If he stops taking them though, Maki will know something’s up. The two of them have this weird and stupid competition where they see who can take down more curses in a quarter. It had started as a joke, but both of them are competitive as all hell, so it’s spiraled. Maki’s been racking up successes for the past couple weeks and Toge’s barely been able to text her back.
He hasn’t told her about Yuuta yet. He can’t imagine telling her. The idea of talking about him right now in any context without turning bright red seems impossible. She’ll never let him live it down if she knows how absolutely whipped Toge has become for their best friend now that he’s living in Tokyo full time again. If Toge hears her say I told you so even once, he’ll die on the spot.
There was this short-lived period when Yuuta got back from Africa, newly tall and broad but still wavering with his confidence from time to time, that Toge thought the two of them would get back together. He’d definitely wanted to. But after everything that happened their second year, the world simply had too many pieces to put back together to be worrying about romance. By the time they were graduating, Yuuta had another opportunity abroad in the Americas, and then another one in Europe directly after.
This is the first time since they were first years that Yuuta’s been truly living in Japan. They’ve never had a chance like this before. It’s fragile still. Toge doesn’t want to risk telling everyone they know before they even know what they are. Technically, they’re not even in a relationship. The only thing worse than admitting to Maki that he’s with Yuuta would be admitting that the only thing they’re doing is hooking up.
Which is why Toge is on the train on his way to his next mission site. It’s some sort of swarm, so he should be able to bolster his numbers in one fell swoop. Maki will call it a cheap trick, but Toge is past caring.
It’s an easy enough commute to do by himself, just a regularly-running regional train out of Tokyo, so he declined a manager. It’s better if the managers are available to accompany the younger, less practiced sorcerers on their missions in case anything goes wrong. Toge is seasoned at this point. It would take a complete disaster for him to need assistance of any type. It certainly doesn’t hurt that he has plans with Yuuta tonight, who can easily patch him up if anything goes wrong.
Yuuta.
God, Toge is so sappy that he’s daydreaming on the train. He needs to check his calendar more closely when he gets back to see when his next heat is due. It must be coming on soon. Maybe that’s why he’s so out of it right now.
When she first started dating Maki, Nobara gossiped to Toge that it was the first time in her life that she was actually looking forward to her heat. The idea seemed so absurd to him that he almost laughed at her. Now, he finally gets it. All of the worries he used to have pre-heats have suddenly vanished. A whole two or three days with Yuuta all to himself?
That being said, they’ve been spending so many nights together lately that it’s hardly different from their norm. Yuuta (who clearly has no regard for digression) has been over to Toge’s apartment so many times that he’s already on a first name basis with Toge’s doormen. At the very least, every time Toge has even so much as a doubt that Yuuta doesn’t reciprocate everything Toge is feeling, he remembers that Yuuta crosses town basically every night to sleep in his bed. That’s not something a person just doed on a whim.
Toge stares out the window of the train, pondering whether or not something like this could actually last. Maybe all this is just a flash in the pan. A great fling destined to come to a crashing end. If that’s all it is, he doesn’t even care. As long as he gets to have it for at least a little longer. The heartbreak would be well worth it.
The scenery starts to fuzz. How many stops until he gets there? Toge can’t even remember. He presses his skull against the window, allowing his hair to get staticed to the glass. He might as well settle in.
Yuuta grips the steering wheel tight enough to draw all the blood from his knuckles. Up until today, Toge didn’t even know Yuuta could drive, much less that he had a car here in the city, but here Toge is, ass pressed against Yuuta’s fine black leather seats.
“Do you have any idea what the last few hours have been like for me?” he asks.
They’re at the last train station on the line Toge was riding this afternoon, but it’s long past dark now. Yuuta drove all the way out here to come fetch Toge.
“Takana,” Toge says by way of apology.
Yuuta doesn’t even seem to hear him.
“Do you know what it was like?” he challenges. “Getting a request to take over the same mission you told me you were covering this morning? To race all the way down there and find the curses still raging and you nowhere in sight? ”
Toge shifts, squeaking against Yuuta’s fancy interiors. He doesn’t really have a good answer for that.
“I thought you were dead,” Yuuta continues. “I almost lost my fucking mind.”
Unfortunately, Toge can imagine it all too well. He can envision the look of panic on Yuuta’s face when he got the call, how he would have been too stunned to admit that he knew Toge was assigned to the mission before him. He can imagine Yuuta swerving through traffic like a madman with no regard for his own life. He can vividly picture the vigor in which Yuuta would have sliced his blade through the curses he thought took Toge’s life. The ordeal probably took less than 10 seconds flat.
Worse than anything, though, Toge can practically see the frantic minutes that followed the exorcism. How Yuuta probably searched the mission site top to bottom, looking for any trace of Toge. If the roles had been reversed, Toge would have been utterly despondent. He can’t even imagine.
“Toge, what happened? ”
It takes a minute or so for Toge to word his answer correctly. It’s not that he means to make Yuuta wait, especially when he’s this worked up, but the answer is embarrassing . Yuuta thought Toge was risking his life to rid the world of a plague of curses, but in reality–
“I fell asleep,” Toge signs.
Yuuta simply blinks at him.
“What? ”
Toge doesn’t repeat himself, because it was bad enough admitting it the first time. Yuuta clearly doesn’t accept that, which is sort of nice, Toge thinks. He doesn’t believe that Toge would have done something so irresponsible, and usually, he’d be right. Toge’s certainly never done anything like this before. He reaches out his hand, laying the back of it over Toge’s forehead.
“Is your heat about to start?” Yuuta probes. “You don’t feel warm.”
All Toge offers is a shrug. He can’t remember right off what day his last heat started, and they’ve never been steady enough to predict like clockwork. Sometimes, if he’s stressed, they’re closer together. Others, he’ll put extra weeks between heats for no apparent reason at all. It’s not something he ever put too much thought into before, because he’s never had a partner. His heats have never affected another person like this.
“I’m taking you to see Ieiri.”
Toge shakes his head. This whole ordeal was humiliating enough. He doesn’t want to relive it for Ieiri. She’ll probably already see the mission report, and that’ll be bad enough already.
“Why not?” Yuuta asks
Because Toge is still so tired. Despite having slept all afternoon, probably all the way to Tokyo proper and back, he feels completely exhausted. His chest sags deep into Yuuta’s leather seats, his head cocked back against the headrest. He can’t even lift it up. He doesn’t want to see Ieiri right now.
But Yuuta’s voice is so tender in comparison to the distress he was working through moments ago. He’s truly worried about Toge. Toge doesn’t know what to do with that.
“Just take me home,” he signs again. “Please.”
For whatever reason, Yuuta complies. They drive home in near silence, nothing but the faint hum of the radio and the passing treeline. He’s a good driver. He must have learned while he was abroad. Toge feels like a baby being lulled to sleep in the back seat, like Yuuta is driving circles around a suburban block somewhere to keep him in a trance and stop him from crying. It’s working, seeing that Toge thinks he really could cry right now if he thought about it hard enough.
He doesn’t realize just how far out he’d gotten until an hour into the drive. Yuuta was probably already halfway here for the mission, but wow did he have to drive a long way out to come get him. Toge called him back the second he woke up, not even fully aware of his surroundings. He just looked down at his phone to see about fifty missed calls from Yuuta and didn’t hesitate. He honestly forgot for a moment that he’s not even supposed to talk on the phone.
“Toge, please say something,” Yuuta’s had voice rung out through the phone. “God, Toge. Please be there. Please be there.”
Toge’s still a little haunted by it all. He really hadn’t meant to scare Yuuta like that. It was just a stupid mistake. The whole thing is so frustrating. He wants to forget it ever happened.
When they get back to Toge’s place, Yuuta pulls right into the garage under Toge’s building like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Toge hasn’t been in there since moving in. He had honestly sort of forgotten they had a parking garage. Apparently, that’s why Yuuta knows Toge’s doormen. He’d worked out an arrangement to pay for access to a parking spot in Toge’s building, despite not living there.
He turns off the car, but neither of them make any effort to move despite the fact that they’ve been sitting in this car for well over two hours now. Double that, for Yuuta. Toge can’t believe he made Yuuta do all this.
“I know you don’t want to talk about this, but I just want you to consider something for me.” Yuuta’s voice is calm, steady. “What you did today wasn’t safe. No one knew where you were. You were on the train, completely exposed. Anything could have happened.”
Toge rolls his eyes, mostly on principle. He’s heard this speech before. He’s far too old to be hearing it again.
“I know what I must sound like,” Yuuta admits. “But we live in a world where Omegas are vulnerable. And I know you can’t see it yourself, but Toge you are very desirable. You have a very strong and distinctive scent, you always have. You’re very beautiful and very small and when some people look at that, they see a situation they could take advantage of. I know you’re strong, but Toge…”
Yuuta shuts his eyes, as reverent as if he were saying a prayer.
“Please,” he urges. “You can’t leave yourself that vulnerable again. It kills me to think of what could have happened to you today, either on that mission or on that train. I need you to be more careful, okay? For me.”
He sounds truly desperate. Toge can’t help but find himself startled by Yuuta’s earnesty. He truly cares about Toge this much. It feels like an admission. Maybe not an outright declaration of love or anything, but it’s something. What is this, if not care?
“Shake,” Toge promises, swallowing his pride. It feels important enough to say out loud.
Yuuta sighs with relief, even daring to crack a smile. Toge swells. There is a need so basic within him that he has just satisfied simply by pleasing Yuuta. It’s almost scary the lengths he would go to to make Yuuta content, but after today, Toge is sure it goes both ways. Yuuta reaches out and rests his hand on Toge’s knee, rubbing his thumb into Toge’s uniform.
“And you’re not going on any more missions till you’re better rested,” he says quickly, pulling away and yanking his keys out of the ignition. “And that’s final .”
Before Toge can properly refute him, Yuuta throws open the car door and exits the vehicle. Toge sits in the passenger seat fuming. When Yuuta opens the door for him, Toge’s lip is jutted out into a pout. Yuuta ignores it completely, extending a hand to help him up.
“Oh,” he remarks. “And I’m calling Ieiri once we get in.”
It’s a long elevator ride up to Toge’s apartment, Yuuta completely self-satisfied and Toge stubbornly silent.
“I’ll make you dinner,” Yuuta proposes gently, trying to worm his way back into Toge’s good graces. “Or I’ll go pick something up from that place down the street.”
Unfortunately, his tactic is working here. Toge hasn’t eaten since breakfast and Yuuta knows that Toge is morally against paying delivery fees for no apparent reason and has always insisted they (or, now that he’s around, Yuuta) go pick it up in person to avoid the surcharge. They both know that Toge’s not about to turn down either of these offers.
Still, even with a cooling off period and the coaxing of warm food in his stomach, Toge is no more amenable to calling Ieiri later that night. As Yuuta pulls up her contact on his phone, Toge goes into the other room and crawls into bed, hoping to hide from the whole thing. He doesn’t want to hear their conversation because he doesn’t want to be mad at Yuuta anymore. He just wants Yuuta to come in here and find him when this is all said and done.
“Hi, I’m calling on Toge’s behalf. We thought this might be easier,” Yuuta says cordially, stepping into the room and leaning against the doorway.
He hasn’t even showered or taken off his uniform yet. He’s been too busy watching Toge with eagle eyes, like Toge could break into pieces if the wind hit him the wrong way. Toge has a fleeting thought that he wouldn’t really mind it if Yuuta got into bed still sweaty and ruined from the day, but tries to dismiss it right away. It’s not exactly situationally appropriate.
Instead, he hides his face in the comforter as he listens to Yuuta recount the day’s events to Ieiri in painfully vivid detail. His stomach churns with unease. Maybe he shouldn’t have eaten so much.
“He’s really pale,” Yuuta tells her timidly. He hasn’t said that to Toge before, but apparently he’s been thinking it. “Unusually tired, as I said earlier. Honestly, he’s been lethargic for days. It’s not normal behavior for him. Should I be taking him to a hospital or something? Are there any doctors you recommend for this sort of thing?”
Toge peeks from between his fingers to watch the hard lines of Yuuta’s face, pulled taut with concern. No one’s ever done anything like this for him before. No one has ever cared this much or watched this closely. It’s perhaps a twisted thing to think at a time like this, but Toge can’t help himself. Yuuta working so hard to make sure Toge is okay… there’s something comforting about it.
He’s yours, something deep within Toge whispers. Yours, all yours.
It’s a voice he’s been ignoring for years in favor of the other, more powerful voice he’s spent years getting in tune with. He’d always considered that to be the more important part of his identity. Now, with Yuuta, he’s not so sure.
He’s watching Yuuta with complete adoration, nodding with interest at every word Ieiri is saying, when suddenly his face goes blank. Toge’s heart leaps into his throat. Yuuta clicks a couple buttons on the phone, face giving absolutely nothing away. Toge’s stomach flips. What’s happening?
“I just put you on speaker,” Yuuta says into the receiver. “Can you… Can you repeat what you just said?”
“Sorry, I know it probably isn’t either of our business, but it really is something we need to rule out before I can offer any more advice,” Ieiri says, all business. “Toge, is there any chance you could be pregnant?”
Then, as if on cue, Toge throws up all over their sheets.