Archive of Our Own

Day 1

Remus couldn’t be more grateful for getting a job in the small coffee shop in the town he grew up in. Honestly, it was a dream job for any student — it paid well, the manager was really nice about changing his work hours depending on school timetable, and he got free coffee every day. At 6 am there was barely anyone there anyway, so he was usually able to hide the book he was reading underneath the counter and drink his morning coffee. It was as if he barely left his little apartment, just with the addition of a few grumpy customers every now and then.

“Excuse me?” said someone, which made Remus jump in place, and almost spill his coffee on himself. He was really invested in the book he’s been reading “I wanted to order a coffee, and this is the only place open at this ungodly hour… but do you have honey here? I like having a bit in my morning coffee and…”

Oh god, he was cute. Rambling a bit, but honestly it was absolutely adorable. Remus chuckled softly.

“We do. What size would you like?”

“Oh. The biggest one you have. I have a twelve hour shift to suffer through” he said, giving him a tired smile, the prettiest one Remus has ever seen “I have half an hour before i gotta be there, so a cup i can take with me would be… nice.”

“Of course. Anything else?”

“No, thank you. Just the coffee. With the honey”

“Yes. I remember” he said, holding back a laugh “Oh, and I need your name. For the order”

“It’s Sirius. S-I-R-I-U-S”

“Sirius. Like the star?” Remus smiled at him, writing down his name on the order, getting up to prepare his coffee.

“Yeah. My parents are kind of galaxy freaks. My entire family, actually. Well, mine isn’t horrible… I mean, my brothers name is fucking Regulus. He’s screwed, truly. At least people know what star Sirius is.”

“The brightest one”

“Sorry? Yeah. Ye, the brightest one. Oh god, I’m rambling. Sorry. I am just so fucking tired right now. Had like three hours of sleep last night and now I have a headache and a twelve hours long shift in front of me…”

“Sirius”

“Yeah?”

“Nice to meet you. My name is Remus” he said, smiling softly, with just a little bit of pity mixed into that smile. The man in front of him really was a mess. A cute one, though.

“Remus? Like the founder of Rome?”

“Yeah. How did you get that? Nobody seems to know what my name originated from”

“Just like you got the star. I’m a bit of a history freak. I like it, a lot. Especially the fun parts, like this legend. It’s really fun” he said with a smile on his face.

“True. I also really like it” he said, putting his coffee in front of him “Here. I added one extra shot of espresso, to get you through the day. Seems like it’s gonna be a tough one. My treat” he said “I get free coffee here anyways so nobody really checks how much i actually drink. There. I hope you have a… well, at least decent day”

“Thanks” there it was, that tired smile again. Remus could melt, really. “You too. There” he handed him the money and left, leaving only a faded smell of cigarettes and some nice smelling perfume behind.

Remus had to blink a few times, to remind himself that he’s not sleeping right now, and that this conversation really happened. Okay, that was an interesting start of the day. Let’s rewind. He just met a man with a name as weird as his own, messy hair and the prettiest smile Remus has ever seen. Honestly, he was just really fucking pretty. Objectively, of course. Lupin was not the one to admit that he was even slightly attracted to someone. Not like it mattered, either way. He was just a customer, so they probably aren’t going to see each other again. He could look for him, it’s not like you see someone named Sirius everyday, but that would probably come out very fucking creepy.

He scolded himself for even thinking about looking for that man despite only knowing his name and decided to go back to reading his book. He decided to treasure the memory of that interaction though. Maybe it was faith, honestly. Remus didn’t have many friends, so he would appreciate a new one. But well.

“Read your goddamn book” he mumbled to himself. No more fantasizing about being friends with Sirius. No more.

He’s never gonna see him again, so he can stop thinking about him now, right? Well, his brain was obviously thinking the opposite, because it just wouldn’t fucking shut up. Remus was not very happy with himself at that moment. His best friend was the one pointing out really beautiful people when they went out, not him. But Lupin was just appreciating how pretty Sirius was. No harm in that, right?

Day 2

Next day Remus had the same shift. He didn’t progress much at reading yesterday, due to a certain someone, so he decided to take the same book with him today and this time actually read it.

Well, yesterday he managed to convince himself that there’s no way that they’re ever gonna meet again which finally managed to get his brain to shut up. He wasn’t a big fan of daydreaming of any sort. Sometimes he even felt like he was boring, because he considered daydreaming a waste of time.

“I’m telling you Reggie, they have honey here. We’re getting our coffee here before I drop you off to school. They never agreed to add honey to my coffee anywhere else”

Oh. Oh, the ‘we must stay rational Remus who told his brain to shut up yesterday’ was laughing his ass off right now, he was sure. Because the ‘present moment’ Remus was staring at the doorway, eyes wide open.

“That’s because you’re a psychopath, Sirius. Who the fuck likes honey in their coffee. That shit is disgusting”

“Shut up, prick. You drink coffee without milk, you don’t get to have an opinion here” two young men entered the coffeehouse, one shorter than the other. Both had identical black hair. They looked almost like twins, the younger brother only slightly shorter.

“Remus!” Sirius said happily, seeing the man who made his coffee yesterday still at the counter. Regulus raised his eyebrow, judging him slightly, as if he heard about him before “Hi! One big coffee with milk and honey, and another one with no milk and no sugar, because my dear brother has no taste”

Remus put his book down, looking at Sirius with a fond smile. Okay, so maybe they were destined to meet again.

Ugh, that was so cliche. What the fuck was happening to him?

“Of course. With extra espresso?”

“Yes please. After I drop him off I gotta go to work again. Yesterday was tough, and I was so tired that my manager told me I have to stay longer because my work quality was awful… and then I got yelled at by my beloved mother for being at home late. Not a fun day. Bet today’s gonna be as bad”

Regulus shook his head with a chuckle.

“Don’t trauma dump on this poor man, Sirius. He’s just trying to get you your disgusting coffee.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” that made Regulus laugh even more, because oh god his brother was blushing and it was the funniest thing he’s ever witnessed.

“It’s fine, Sirius. No need to worry. Working here is so boring that I don’t mind being entertained by people rambling about their day” Remus said with a fond expression, handing them their coffees. Sirius thanked him with a smile, paying him quickly.

“Yeah, okay. Okay. Here, take a tip, as a thank you, I guess. I gotta go drop the young asshole to school. See you tomorrow? You make the best coffee.”

“See you tomorrow. I hope today’s better than yesterday”

“Thanks. See you” he smiled softly, taking his brother with him and leaving. Remus could hear their bickering even from outside, mostly Regulus teasing his brother about blushing so much. He decided to ignore the fact that he was the one who made Sirius blush and trip over his words, blaming it on the younger boy’s presence and teasing.

But he did say see you tomorrow. Which meant that today there was no denying that they’re gonna see each other again. Too bad. That meant he couldn't stop daydreaming so easily.

He still decided to ignore it, though. They talked for like 20 minutes, and Remus was not an idiot, or at least that’s what he liked to think. Which meant that he was not going to plan out the entire future with a man he barely knew, just because he was cute and realized what his name means, because he’s not an idiot.

Maybe a bit, though. Maybe that boy was his chance for a better life.

Because Remus would never admit it, but he wasn’t happy. He left his parents and went to school when he wasn’t even eighteen yet, leaving him feeling so so lonely. It was better than the depression he had experienced at home, the scars were a painful reminder, but he still was lonely. And sad, even though he found a lot of comfort in books it was not the presence of another person.

Now he was acting like a complete idiot. Great.

Day 3

“Fucking hell, Sirius, you’re an ungrateful little shit. Your mother does so much for you, yet you still whine like a little bitch! Grow up, would you?” he heard his father scream at him and it felt like he was standing behind a glass wall. He didn’t answer, just stared at him. He never cried, not in front of his parents.

He could feel the black eye grow with every second. It wasn’t as bad as it could get, but still fucking hurt and what was even worse — it was really visible. He didn’t even remember what they fought about yesterday after he came back home, but whatever it was, it was bad enough for him to earn a big bruise on his left eye.

Like a ghost he went upstairs, putting a shitload of makeup on his eye, to cover the purplish color of his skin. He left without a word — once again like a ghost, just hearing his parents scream at each other and him inside the house. He wasn’t going to stop for a coffee today, because his parents decided to cut his access to credit cards, but Regulus caught up to him quickly.

“Sirius! Sirius, oi, wait!”

“Hm?” the older boy turned around to face his little brother “What is it, Reg? Not in the mood for your unfunny comments” he said with a cold expression. It was easier to hide the tears like that.

“I wanted a ride” he said, which made Sirius turn around and walk away once again “Oi, okay, I’m sorry! Trust me, I know how horrible they are… Goddamn it, it’s like all they know is insults. I do want a ride though… But we can stop for a coffee so you can see your dumbass barista and get him to make you this awful coffee with honey you like so much”

“Can’t. Mother blocked my card. Apparently, I don’t get to eat anymore these days”

“I’ll buy it for you” he said, with a sigh “Come on, hey. I’m gonna be late for school”

“Alright. Get in the car. At least she didn’t take my keys” he said. They both knew that this is how Reggie was trying to show that he’s there for him. That he does understand, and does care, no matter how horrible he is at expressing it. It reminded Sirius of when they were younger and slept in one bed, scared of their parents after a particularly bad fight. Yeah, they grew up and kept their distance now, but they were both trying. It wasn’t easy. “And if I hear you whine about me smoking inside of my own car you’re getting kicked out. I’ll leave on the sidewalk. I mean it.”

He lit a cigarette and started the car. It wasn’t a very long drive, just enough to finish one cigarette. Regulus usually complained about him smoking, saying he hates the smell, but kept his mouth shut today. Maybe it was a shitty coping mechanism, but if it helps it helps and Reggie was not going to stop it.

Remus was waiting at the counter, of course. He didn’t even bother taking his book with him today. When he saw two boys enter the coffeehouse, he couldn’t stop himself from checking the time. They arrived fifteen minutes earlier today. Does this mean they have more time to actually talk?

“Same as yesterday” Regulus said as they entered “I’m paying today”

“Alright, coming right up. Hi, Sirius. You okay?” he asked, a bit worried, because Sirius seemed to be somewhere else, definitely not grounded right now.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. Big coffee with honey and milk, please” he said, not registering the fact that his brother already ordered drinks.

“I know” said Remus with a soft smile “I remember”

He earned that sweet, tired smile for that. But he didn’t have much time to think about what it does to his insides, because he noticed what felt wrong about Sirius’s face, and he started to worry even more.

“You have a black eye” he noticed, which made Sirius freeze in place and his younger brother look up from his coffee.

“Ah shit, is it still visible? Stupid concealer, covers nothing” he mumbled to himself, taking his phone out to open camera and look at his face “Shit do you… do you mind if I use the restroom? I need to fix this before work”

“Sirius” Remus stopped him with a gentle expression “I have something that can help. I’ll go with you, is that fine? I can help”

He nodded weakly, feeling the unwanted tears form in his eyes. Oh, he was so tired. He didn’t know if he can do the whole day of work today. Regulus was left with “tell any customers I’ll be right back, I don’t think there will be any though” and Remus led Sirius to the restroom, looking at him with a worried expression.

“Here. It was expensive, so don’t use too much, but it covers shit really well” he explained, handing him his own concealer, not planning on explaining why he has it.

Sirius wasn’t in a headspace to ask either way. Honestly, he was mostly focusing on not falling apart right now. He missed being able to flee to the safety of his best friend's house on those particularly bad days. Stupid Monty and his stupid job, taking James away from him to the other side of the country. Stupid life, honestly.

“Fuck, sorry” he said, trying to pull himself together, stopping the tears before it’s too late. It wasn’t going great tho, he could feel the tears fall without his consent.

“It’s fine” Remus felt the need to reassure him, even though he was panicking, because what the fuck do you even do when your whatever-the-fuck-he-was-to-him starts crying. Hug? No, way too personal. What he could do was listen to him ramble. “You can talk to me about it. Or not. I can just be here, do you have some time left?”

“I can’t. Reg is gonna be late for school” Sirius took a deep breath, trying to not fall apart “I need to take him there in a few minutes. I’ll be fine just… oh god, work is too much today. But I don’t know what to do with myself if I don’t go. Parents think I’m going to school”

“You can come here, if you wanna. I have a long ass shift, and it’s boring on weekdays, so… won’t mind you keeping me company” Remus suggested, not forgetting to mentally slap himself, because he was not supposed to be friends with this guy, but there was no turning back now.

“Oh. Yeah, I’d like that. Thanks, wolf boy” Sirius finished taking care of his face, got rid of the tears, and didn't allow any additional ones to fall. “I’ll be back in like ten minutes. I hope you don’t mind the smell of cigarettes. Tough day.”

“Yeah, I can tell. It’s fine. I kinda like it” he said, and received that sweet smile in response again. It was like a reward, like he finally was doing something right, not fucking up every single relationship he ever tried to form.

Sirius was in fact back after ten minutes. The tears were no longer seen, just like the black eye, nicely covered with the concealer. Regulus was also no longer with him, which made Sirius be slightly more tense, it was very visible, even in the way he was moving. And he was in fact smelling of cigarettes. But Remus really didn’t mind. It wasn’t a bad smell.

“Hi” he greeted him with a smile “Want anything to eat?”

“Can’t really pay for it right now” Sirius sat on one of the chairs in front of the counter. “Forgot my card” he lied, it was obvious, but Remus would never thought that the real reason behind this was his mother, who blocked his card “It’s fine, I’ll eat dinner at home. How’s work?”

“Ah, boring as ever. Nobody stops by at this hour on weekdays. But that’s good, cause I’m here alone, and my boss trusts me enough to not check the cameras, so I’m basically earning money for nothing. Didn’t take my book today though. Forgot” it was also a lie, the same one Sirius used. So easy, hiding true intentions behind own forgetfulness.

“Seems we both have no luck remembering important things today, hm? Well, you’re lucky I’m here to entertain you then”

“Yeah. Couldn’t imagine a better company” maybe he was teasing, but he meant what he said. Sirius intrigued him, really. He wasn’t predictable, and Remus didn’t like predictable people. He enjoyed analyzing things about others, thinking about their intentions and emotions more than his own. So far he noticed a few patterns: Sirius liked his coffee in a weird way and got it every day before work, not necessarily here, but had to have his coffee to start the day. He wasn’t a good liar. And he was confusing, with how much he knew, with his behaviors, everything. And Remus liked it a lot.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about your name. Were your parents trying to suggest something? I mean, after all Romulus was the real founder of Rome. Remus got killed by his brother… do you have a twin brother who’s plotting to kill you?”

See? There it is. Confusing. Who the fuck starts a small talk like that?

“Um, yeah. I mean no, no, I don’t have siblings, so no brothers plotting to kill me in my sleep. My mom also wasn’t a wolf, if this is your next question”

“Meh, that’s no fun. But I can still call you wolf boy, so at least there’s that” he said with a chuckle “Or… wolfie? Oh god no, sorry for even saying that. What else, uhh… Wolf, Moon… Moony! Can I call you Moony?”

Confusing, but also really adorable.

“Sure. Can I call you ‘Big Dog’, then? If we’re talking names?”

“Don’t you dare, or I will turn into your twin brother and murder you” Sirius answered, earning a sincere laugh from Remus “No, but really, I love your name. I always wanted to study history, you know? But parents said I gotta be a lawyer so I can take over their business, and other bullshit like that. Like they couldn’t use my little shit of a brother for that. They might still believe in the first born rule, just like in the dark ages. Are you a student? Working in a place like this, I’m guessing you are one.”

“I am. I live in a little apartment just one block away from here, and I study at the nearby university. I want to be a teacher. I like languages, so that’s my major, but I’m also really into astronomy. Mostly as a hobby, though. I read a lot about it in my free time… Or, well, while I’m at work”

“Holy shit, that’s impressive! Is that how you knew what my name meant? Oh damn, so you also know which star my brother is, right?”

“Yeah. Regulus is the heart of the Leo constellation. Yours is in the Big Dog, that’s why I called you that earlier”

“God, that’s really impressive! No one ever knows what my brother’s name comes from. Don’t tell him that you know, tho. I love teasing him about it”

“I won’t” Remus said with a fond laugh “Promise to not take away the opportunity to annoy the shit out of your brother”

“Thank you, that’s lovely. It’s my purpose in life, really. And the only thing I’m truly good at. Well, that, and driving my family crazy”

Remus started collecting little pieces of information about Sirius, slowly building an image of a man he grew really fond of. He liked history, he worked a lot, he liked his coffee weird. He definitely had some kind of family issues, that’s what he managed to work out so far. He came in with a black eye today. He ignored his emotions and covered them with stupid jokes and a smug, just like Lupin himself, really. He was unpredictable, and stumbled upon his words when stressed. And was really cute.

Okay, no, scratch that last one. Remus was not going to admit that to himself.

They talked for a few hours after that. Sirius was very obviously avoiding the topic of his family, even when it came up a few times he only told a few lighthearted stories, not getting into any details.

Remus told him a lot about himself, mostly funny stuff, then decided to just go on about astronomy. Sirius told him about his best friend, who moved to a different side of the country recently and pissed Sirius off with that. He went on and on about how betrayed he is by that, then he quietly admitted that he misses him a lot and can’t wait to see him in a few days cause he promised to come to visit. Then, when his shift was over Remus finally worked up the courage to ask.

“Hey, can I have your number? So we can communicate outside of work”

“Oh! Yeah, sure, but don’t text me too often, mother likes to check my phone when I’m asleep” seeing the worried expression on Remus’s face he quickly realized what he just said “Oh. Oh, I mean it’s all fine, got used to it, really. You can text me just, not be very obvious and preferably call. I will stop by every day tho! I promise”

“Okay”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Give me your number” he said with a soft smile, the worried expression still not gone though.

“I gotta go pick up Reg. Little asshole will be late if I don’t and neither of us wants to listen to our mother yell at us. It was nice talking to you, Moony. See you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah. See ya”

Sirius left, leaving Remus with his own thoughts. They were not fucking cooperating. He really, really liked Sirius Black (oh, because he also learned his last name now). “God damn you, Lupin” he thought to himself as he was leaving for school after his shift was over. He really was fucking screwed.

Day 6

There were only four people on this planet who saw Sirius properly cry. One of them was his brother, both of his parents (which he made sure never happened again) and James.

Oh, he fucking hated him for moving away. How was he supposed to survive without his monthly crying session at his best friends house, while the said best friend is playing a video game and listening to him rambling?

So he was more than thrilled about meeting up with James. His parents couldn’t know that they were meeting up, so he told him to meet him at that little cafe Remus worked at.

He wasn’t there when Sirius came in, which caused an unexpected feeling of deep disappointment. Yeah, he didn’t know whether Remus was at work on weekends — so he could as well be doing something completely different. He wanted to introduce him to his best friend, tho. It was really important to him.

“Pads!” oh, it took exactly ten seconds for Sirius to sprint into his best friend’s arms, bury his face in his arms, and slightly shiver as he felt the tears already form in his eyes. “Oi Pads, all good? Hey, dude, let’s go sit down, huh?”

James guided him onto a couch in the corner of the cafe. Black didn’t even notice Remus come in, as his shift was just starting. He was too focused on the comfort his best friend's reassuring words gave.

“God, it seems like I came here not to visit you but to murder your mother. Can I finally do it, please? Listen, I have a great plan”

“You can’t murder her. You’ll go to jail”

“I would go to jail for you. You wouldn’t go to jail for me bro? That’s like a dream! Going to jail after saving your best friend!”

“Yeah. I would go to jail for you, but please don’t go to jail for me, because if you do that right now, I might actually lose it”

“Can I take your order?”

Sirius jumped in place when he heard the question. Right in front of him was Remus, and he was just staring at him looking like an absolute mess, teary eyes and everything.

“Also, if you need help killing your mother, Sirius, I would love to get involved. Might as well lead the operation”

“Uh… Yea. Remus, this is my best friend slash another brother James. James, this is Remus. My… friend. He makes the best coffee on earth and knew what star Reggies name came from”

Remus chuckled softly at the introduction. It was quite adorable, that Sirius felt the need to mention those two things as he was introducing him to James, who raised his eyebrow at his best friend’s hesitation, receiving a death stare in return.

“You made a friend? Look at Pads all grown up! Hi Remus, it’s nice to meet you. As you can see, he could really use a warm drink right now, so for me just a latte and for him black coffee wi…”

“With milk and honey. Yeah. I remember.” Remus gave them a soft smile, which made James raise his eyebrows even higher, almost making them invisible,
hiding under his brown curls “It’ll be ready in a second. I hope you two enjoy it here. See you later, hm, Sirius?”

“Yea. Bye, Moony!”

“Oh my god. You gave him a nickname, he remembers your order, and that smile, dude!” James exclaimed, a bit too loud, which made Sirius look around.

“Shut it, Prongs. He’s my friend. I called him Moony because his name comes from a child of a wolf. Unless you feel like you’re endangered and should be jealous? There’s no need. I literally started crying the second you crossed the door. There’s no beating that”

“Fine, have it your way. Anyways, no talking about boys, or girls, or anyone else. How is your brother doing, by the way?” he said with a mischievous grin.

“He’s fine…? Oh, fuck you James, stop making that face. You are not getting anywhere near my brother!” he exclaimed, which made James giggle happily.

“Meh, you’re no fun. He’s so hot”

“But he also hates your guts, so… you know. Be careful. He’s a scary little bitch”

“I know. I was the one he decided to attack with his teeth after I completely accidentally touched his book collection!”

After a few seconds of laughter they fell silent again. Sirius snuggled up James’s side, feeling tears gathering in his eyes, threatening to fall. Potter didn’t dare break the comfortable silence, allowing his best friend all the time he needed to face his own emotions in the safety of the little space they always created together. The bubble got broken by Remus, who brought their order with him.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. Here. Drink while warm, Sirius, it’ll make you feel better, I hope. You two want anything to eat?”

“No, thanks, Moony. All fine” James gave him a warm smile, while Sirius just nodded, remaining silent. Potter wanted to tease him more but he realized that this might not be a good idea, considering his best friend's state.

Remus still wanted to help, though, even if he was awful at it. He went to get a blanket from storage, bringing it back to the pair, who was now having a discussion about James having to live so far away.

“What can I do for you, Pads? Please, I really fucking wanna come back but dad needs to work”

“Come visit for my birthday, please. I’m not getting any celebration this year, I am officially the most awful son on the planet right now. Would be nice having you here. It would make the day a bit less awful”

Remus wrapped the blanket around Sirius, giving him a soft, worried smile.

“Uh, here. If I can do anything to help let me know” he said, not knowing what to do with himself now “Your birthdays soon? When is it?”

“In two weeks” Sirius answered with a weak smile “What, do I get a free coffee for my birthday?”

“Yeah. My treat” he said, smiling at him. Maybe he should get him a gift. From what he gathered so far he wasn’t getting a proper celebration from his family, so maybe Remus can make him feel a bit better with a gift “Actually, my boss’s treat. Like I said, he doesn’t know nor care how much free coffee I take”

“Thanks, Moony. I’ll remember that”

That was his cue to leave, because the silence got awkward. He turned around, leaving the two best friends on their own, sometimes looking in their direction to see how Sirius was feeling. He seemed to be alright, laughing with James.

“He brought you a blanket! A blanket, Pads, are you blind? He likes you!” Remus heard, which gained his attention right away. He wanted to hear Sirius answer.

“Shut it, Potter, he’s going to hear you! And he’s cute, I can’t afford to embarrass myself in front of him again!”

Oh. Well, he surely wasn’t expecting Sirius to call him cute. He didn’t hate it though. Nope, not at all.

Day 14

They managed to work out their own little pattern after meeting every day for two weeks. Sirius memorized the hours when Remus was at work, and he was always waiting for him. He thought about preparing his coffee a bit before his arrival, so he can give it to him when he arrives, but the time coffee took to prepare gave them a bit more time to talk, so Lupin gave up that idea quickly. Sirius was in a different mood every day, emotions painted all over his face no matter how hard he tried to cover them with a smug. But Remus never failed to bring a sincere smile to his face, an ability he was really proud of.

When he arrived with Regulus on his side, Remus smiled softly. “Hi. The usual?” he asked, worried expression, seeing that Sirius was whispering some muffled words in french into his brothers ear.

“Yes. With an extra espresso for Reg” Sirius answered right away, mindlessly pulling his brother into a hug, which he quickly freed himself from.

“I told you i don’t need comforting, I’m not five”

“So, you grew out of wanting hugs? Reg, please. I saw you yesterday, I’m not gonna believe that” he sighed, giving him his coffee “Hm? Go wait in the car, if you’re so grown up now. I’ll be right back”

Regulus answered with something that sounded like a muffled curse in french, leaving the cafe. Sirius gave Remus an exhausted look.

“I’m gonna lose it. Why is he so stubborn?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t force him to hug you if he doesn’t want to”

“I’m not even talking about that! He likes acting all grown up when in reality he’s tired and depressed and I am so fucking worried, Rem, you have no idea. He has no one except me and…”

“Hey” Remus stopped him, and before he could finish he wrapped his arms around his friend, stroking his hair gently “I bet you’re doing everything you can. Come talk to me about it next time, hm?”

“Yeah, okay” he mumbled unto his shoulder, pulling away from the hug, looking at Remus with slight confusion “What was that for?”

“Oh, um, you seem to always comfort others like that. And James does it for you too, so… I wanted to be a good friend” he explained quickly, now slightly embarrassed, handing him his coffee.

“Yeah” Lupin received a soft smile for that “And you are a good friend, Moony. Don’t you ever doubt it, or you know. I’ll become your twin and murder you”

“Yeah. I remember. Bye, Sirius”

“Bye, Lupin. See you tomorrow”

DAY 19

Right after his shift, after their usual small talk, Remus had a plan. He left the little coffee shop, going to the mall. He hardly ever could be seen in a place like this, especially at a busy hour. He absolutely hated loud, crowded places, so even if he had something to do at the mall he would come there right after it opened.

But today, he had a mission. A really important one, because it involved Sirius. Maybe he was being a bit of an idiot, but he wasn’t gonna let that stop him. He was also not planning on letting something as simple as his own overstimulation stop him. He was better than this.

He quickly noticed that he actually was not better than this, having to close his eyes to fix his breathing after the flashing lights hit him for barely a few seconds. He was very determined to do what he wanted tho. So he put on his noise canceling headphones, heading towards one of the jewelry shops. Honestly, Sirius seemed like a guy who would wear a lot of jewelry, and Remus suspected that he didn’t only because his parents didn’t allow it.

He thought of getting him one of those pretty rings with stars on them, but honestly, a ring as his first gift ever didn’t seem like a good idea. After a bit he found exactly what he was looking for. A necklace with a little star charm, subtle enough to hide under his clothes when he’s at home.

Happy with himself he went home, preparing to write a short happy birthday card and pack the necklace into a little gift box, with some chocolate too. Although Remus was the one who loved chocolate he was sure Sirius will enjoy his favorites too. They talked about it once, he said he really wants to try them. So, he shall get some to try out.

Really pleased with the little gift he sat down, preparing to study a bit. But his stupid brain was not cooperating, refusing to focus, thinking excessively about seeing Sirius tomorrow and giving him his little birthday gift. He really was an idiot, he was starting to fully realize that now. Well, but it would surely go away eventually if he ignored it, so that’s exactly what he did.

DAY 20

Sirius had a bad day. It’s not like he was expecting his parents to care about his birthday, but it still stung a little, being ignored just like any other day. He didn’t even get a hi, son. Honestly, at this point he was sure they didn’t even see him as their son anymore.

Reggie was trying, though. He definitely inherited the Black family's ability to express emotions, but he was trying, so, so hard, in his own Regulus way. He handed his credit card to his older brother, murmuring something about buying himself something nice, or at least a coffee. Sirius didn’t have a heart to tell him that Remus had already promised him a free coffee for his birthday, he had to acknowledge that he’s doing his best. Honestly, that little interaction made him ugly sob in his car on the way to the cafe. He really fucking wanted that love you could only receive from a family.

“There he is! My favorite brother and best friend!” He heard his best friend scream happily, startling all the other clients, but they didn’t seem to mind much.

“I’m your only brother and we’re not even related” Sirius laughed softly, still sniffling from crying his eyes out in the car. Soon enough he felt his best friend's arms wrap around him, and suddenly everything was fine again.

“Ah, details. Talking about brothers, why didn’t you bring yours?”

“Why, wha… Oh fuck you, James. Can you stop flirting with my brother?”

“Never. I am destined to be with him and make your life absolutely miserable”

“You’re already doing a great job at that”

“Shut up, or you’re not getting your gift. Oi, Remus! Come here!” James waved at him, as Remus entered. He was not wearing his usual uniform, but a warm, comfortable sweater, definitely a bit too big on him “Is dating your best friend’s brother wrong?”

“Depends. Is the brother hot?” he laughed as he joined them at a table in the corner of the cafe. He took a day off work so he could spend it with Sirius, if he wanted that, of course.

“Yes”

“No” both best friends answered at the same time, giving each other a death stare. It was still caring though, if that was even possible.

“Yes, he is! Remus, you met Reggie, you gotta agree with me!”

“Ah, yeah. It’s totally fine then. Absolutely understandable” he said with a playful grin.

Sirius hid his face in his hands, taking a deep breath.

“Good thing he hates you both, so I don’t have to worry about him dating such jackasses like you two” he mumbled, which made both of his friends burst into laughter.

“Love you too, Pads”

“If you’re expecting me to say it back reduce your expectations, I am deeply unhappy with you right now”

“Meh, you’re no fun, man. But I bet my gift can make you say the magic sentence” he said, pulling a box out of his bag, handing it to Sirius.

“I told you that you don’t have to…”

“Well, and I didn’t listen. I never listen to you, I don’t know why you thought I would start now”

“I also got you something” Remus blurted out, and it was very obvious how long he’s been working up the courage to say this sentence. James muffled his laughter, and Sirius smiled at Remus fondly.

“You really didn’t have to, you know…”

“I know. But I wanted to”

He first opened the gift James got him. A few new records to add to his collection, a book, a bag of cookies (Effie influence, obviously) and some sweets. James received a tight hug for that. When he got to opening the other gift, Remus couldn’t stop fidgeting in place slightly, excited to see his reaction. When Sirius finally opened the little box inside he nearly held his breath, excited but also scared of his reaction.

Sirius carefully took the necklace out of the box, looking at the charm with a smile on his face and tears gathering in his eyes.

“It’s so nice. I love it. My mom won’t, tho…”

“I thought about it. It’s small enough to fit right under your shirt, so you can take it out when she’s not near. Wait, I’ll show you. Turn around.”

Sirius turned, his gaze meeting James, who was trying to suppress his laughter. He made a kissy face, which almost made Sirius punch him. He would, if he wasn’t too busy fighting the tears (and failing miserably). Remus took the necklace, putting it on his neck carefully, gentle as ever.

“Okay. Turn around… Perfect. It’s barely visible” he said with a smile “I’m sure she’s not going to notice. And it’s a star, obviously. Sirius. You can keep it close to your heart”

That was enough for Remus to feel his strong arms wrap around him. He exhaled softly, sinking into the embrace.

“God. You both are assholes, making me cry on my own birthday. Ridiculous. Agh, I hate emotions” he mumbled softly, trying to stop the sobs from escaping. He was in such a bad mental state recently, just a little appreciation from his friends made him turn into a sobbing mess. Remus held him as he clung to his chest and cried, cried because it all was so unfair, because it was his birthday and his parents didn’t even say hi, because James is going to leave tomorrow again and because he wants his brother near right now, something he knows Regulus wouldn’t particularly enjoy.

Everything was awful, it’s been so, so awful for so long, and suddenly Sirius just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Remus, as awful as he is at comforting people, decided to at least guard him from the sight of other customers, which resulted in a tight embrace. After a while sob’s died down, but Sirius still didn’t pull away, so neither did Remus, even though he saw James stroke his best friend’s back softly, murmuring something into his ear.

So many thoughts were running through his head that he couldn’t make sense out of any of James' words. So many emotions, yet one surprised him a bit — the single thought about how nice it would be to get kisses from Remus now that he was clinging to him so hard. He quickly got rid of it, though. He couldn’t, he knew it, he hated that thought since he was a child, absolutely sure about not liking girls at all. He wanted a perfect life, in which he could think about it further. Away from his awful mother, but that would mean away from here, away from Remus too… it wouldn’t work.

“I need a smoke” he pulled away, not even bothering to take his coat with him, going outside and lighting a cigarette. Remus and James looked at each other quickly, getting up in perfect sync and rushing out to him.

“Dude, it’s freezing. Put on the fucking coat” James said, first wrapping his coat around his best friend, then his arms “I’m not letting you get sick on my watch. Your mother would be mad”

“Is she ever not mad? I don’t think it would change anything”

Sirius was going insane. Giving up, really. It was so hard to keep pushing if it felt as if everyone around him either hated him or pitied him. But then he looked at Remus and… felt that weird spark of hope. Like a glimpse of the life he could’ve had. He was almost there, it was within his reach, he just had to work a bit more, hold on for a bit longer and finally he could get on that stupid train, afford changing a number and everything, and leave everything behind, go live with his best friend and afford therapy. It sounded like heaven, even though it really wasn’t much, looking from a third person perspective.

“God fucking damn it!” Sirius suddenly screamed, startling both James and Remus.

“You need a drink, my dear friend. Wanna go get pissed for your birthday?” James asked, knowing that they’ll probably end up having to take care of drunk Sirius, because he always got overly emotional when drunk.

Yet they still went. James was holding back by a lot, in case Sirius needed him. Remus wasn’t much of a drinker, so it didn’t take him much to get drunk. And Sirius got wasted, as usual. At some point he had James holding his hair in the bathroom.

“Don’t let Moony in” he mumbled, trying to pull himself together despite the obvious drunkenness.

“Why?”

“Can’t see me like this”

James took a deep breath.

“Okay. This is going to sound really stupid, and you’re both gonna have to figure it out on your own either way but you so obviously like each other! Pads, let yourself have that one. You could make it work”

“Can’t. Mom” he mumbled, sniffling “I can’t be queer. She’ll disown me”

“Yeah, but isn’t that the best case scenario? You’re free and have a boyfriend. Come on, we’ve been through this conversation, you’re allowed to be yourself. Don’t let her get into your head”

“I just wanna be enough for her”

“I know, but if she’s crazy, then it’s impossible” Remus looked at them softly, as he entered the bathroom, overhearing his last words “Come on, I live close to here. You gotta sleep through the drunkenness if you’re planning on going back home”

James nodded, and despite Sirius’ weak protests they went to visit Remus. Didn’t take long for Sirius to fall asleep on the couch, hugging a pillow close to his chest. Potter texted Regulus, telling him about the whole situation and asking him to not sell his brother to his mother, then also reassured him that his card is fine. He then went to sit at the kitchen table with Remus.

“Do you think he needs anything? Food, water?” Remus was nervously pacing around the kitchen, clearly distressed by Sirius' state.

“He’ll be fine. He’ll sleep through it and then drink a gallon of water tomorrow” he promised with a soft smile “Thanks for caring for him. He really needs it… Actually, Remus. It’s really important, even though I might be like… completely wrong here but… you like him, right? You do, I can see that” he said softly “Whether it’s romantic or not it’s not my place to judge even though I do have my opinion on that matter. But well, yeah, he needs that care even though he will not ask for it until he breaks down like today. And I can’t be here for him, so if you care, you should try. He’ll let you, and he’s very pretty, so you know… figure it out”

When Remus didn’t respond, clearly thinking about his words his smile grew wider “Okay. I got a train to catch. Can I leave him here with you?”

“Yeah… Sure. I’ll make sure that nothing happens to him” he said, going to get a blanket for Sirius. When James left, he sat at the kitchen table, starting to work on his newest essay. After some time he heard Sirius get up, and then desperately sprint to the bathroom. He got up without a word, getting a glass of water. Black was sitting on the ground, clearly having puked everything he drank that day. Tears were streaming down his face and he didn’t even know why, they were just there. Remus handed him the water without a word, then wrapped his arms around him, also without a word.

“Where’s James?” Sirius asked weakly.

“He had to go so he wouldn’t miss his train” he said, without much hesitation starting to stroke his hair softly “He told me to take care of you when you wake up so… yeah. Here I am”

Sirius smiled at him, giving him that beautiful grin of his, and it made Remus so happy to be there. He squeezed his hand softly.

“You know, I really appreciate that, Moony” Sirius said after a bit, squeezing his hand in response “You’re so precious, whether you realize that or not. And your presence, just you being here, it comforts me so much. I love being next to you. It’s such a weird feeling”

“But a good one?”

“Yeah, a good one”

“Come on then, you need to sleep before going back home. I have a double bed. If you promise me you’re not gonna puke again we can rest there for a bit” it was so genuine. In other circumstances inviting someone to sleep with you could be considered weirdly inappropriate, but this was different. Remus knew Sirius needed comfort and support and he was willing to offer him exactly that. That much he could do. He knew he wasn’t allowed more. No matter how much he wanted to be able to hold him and kiss his temple, and reassure him that everythings gonna be okay, neither of them was ready for this kind of a relationship right now. But he could hold him. Be there for him. Simply because he cared and wanted to.

“I can’t promise anything. Drank way too much”

“I’ve noticed. But come on. If I have to, I'll kick you out” he said fondly, helping him up “I’ll give you some clothes to change into. Yours are… a bit dirty”

“Fuck, you’re right. How fucking drunk was I? I don’t even remember anything”

“Yeah, properly drunk. James was with you the whole time so you didn’t do anything stupid, I’m sure. James texted your brother, too. So he should have you covered”

“James doesn’t have his number, what?”

“You were drunk out of your mind, my dear star. You probably gave it to him yourself, you know?”

Sirius took his phone out to check if Regulus said anything. And of course he did. He first got a message saying ‘Ur so fucking stupid’, then ‘Mom and dad are pissed but think ur at ur friends for bday. Wont suspect alcohol. Thank me later and come back home in one piece’. And then, finally ‘Love u, idiot. Happy bday. Hope ur safe’.

This single handedly made him tear up again. “Fucking little idiot” he mumbled to himself ‘I’m fine, Reg. I’ll sleep the drunk away and be home. If parents ask I’ll come back tmrw. Thanks for help. Love ya, Siri’

He followed Remus into the bedroom after sending the text. Lost in his own thoughts he changed quickly into fresh pjs, sliding into the bed. After a moment he felt Remus wrap his arms around him. That stupid, cute idiot.

“You’re so warm” he mumbled, snuggling up to him.

“You’re so dear to me, you know that? How did you achieve that? In a month?”

“Dunno. You’re just magical, Moony. Taking my heart so quickly” he mumbled in response, already half asleep and was met with a fond laugh and a soft kiss pressed on his temple.

“Go to sleep, idiot. You’re still drunk”

But he was so dear to him, really. He wasn’t sure how it happened, what they were, but he knew, he was so, so important. And Sirius seemed to see that it’s enough for now. Something. Something was enough.

Day 21

They didn’t speak about that conversation when they woke up. Remus was strongly doubting that Sirius even remembered everything he said to him. But it’s okay. He knew Sirius wasn’t lying - he was a terrible liar, couldn’t be much better just because he was drunk. So he was going to treasure that conversation forever.

And for Sirius? It was enough to keep going. He remembered every single word. It gave him strength to face his parents, successfully hide how hangover he was, and then go to work again. And the next day, and the next day, he was simply running on that one interaction with Remus.

They kept meeting, of course. Every single day.

Day 55

It’s been almost two months, and they kept meeting up regularly. Not only for coffee — they had a lot more meetups outside the cafe too. Remus was falling, and falling hard, too. Sirius was more oblivious — he didn’t seem to notice his real feelings.

But that wasn’t true. He felt them, the butterflies going crazy in his stomach every time they locked eyes. But he simply wasn’t allowing himself to feel them. He couldn’t, not while he was still in this house, it was too risky, for both of them.

Besides, he finally almost gathered up enough money to leave. He couldn’t contact James, not when the risk of his parents reading his texts was this high, but Effie and Monty promised to take him in whenever, so he can leave the house as soon as possible without planning much. So he was almost sure that today he finally had enough money. But for now he was with Remus, sipping on his coffee.

“You okay? Seems like you’re not even here today” Remus smiled, looking at him worriedly, concerned, because he really was different than usual, and Remus grew so close to him that he could simply sense the shift in energy.

“I’m fine, just tired. My mom is giving me a hard time again. Forgot how much I miss her silent treatments” he said, playing with the money he had in his pocket. If he counted everything correctly this was the last bit. This was all he needed.

“Ah, I’m sorry” Remus said, worried expression.

“Eh, it’s fine. Nothing I’m not used to by now… Well, it still sucks, though. But I think you and James did a very good job at making me actually express my feelings a bit. So yes, it sucks, but today I’m as fine as I could be” he said quietly, looking at him “I’m gonna have to head home soon.”

It was a goodbye. Sirius wanted to disappear, and he knew that he couldn’t tell Remus where he’s going. Maybe one day, after he finally manages to hide from his parents he’ll find him again. His moon.

Remus didn’t know that, but he was the reason why he had the strength to plan his escape. Without him, he probably wouldn’t even be here, six feet under a long time ago, drained from life in a house full of constant abuse. He gave him what he needed most at that time — hope. He was his moon, making even the scariest nights brighter, and he knew he was gonna spend every day missing him, but he hoped that Remus won’t cling into this, whatever this is. That he finds his own path, his own way of living this life. Maybe he was his hope too, to some extent. Sirius was the brightest star, after all.

He suddenly felt a wave of courage flowing through his veins. He felt as if it was unfair for Remus, but he knew he wouldn’t forgive himself if he went on with his life without knowing how his lips taste like. So without much thinking he put his cup down and kissed Remus softly, one hand finding its way to the back of his messy hair.

Remus was startled at first, but he leaned into the kiss quickly. He was slightly confused, it was such a random moment for a first kiss, but he obviously didn’t mind. Sirius tasted like the coffee he was drinking, slightly bittersweet.

“I’m sorry” that’s all Sirius could bring himself to say after they pulled away from the kiss, foreheads pressed together and panting slightly. He was so selfish. It was so selfish, a desperate kiss that could never happen again “I gotta go. Bye, my dear Moony” he said, shifting away.

He didn’t hear what Remus' answer was. He whispered it, still in shock after the kiss. Sirius walked to the door silently, breaking down crying inside. He wanted to leave, he decided that he would, but it was all so hard.

He snuck to his room, pulling the money out of the pillowcase. Started counting it slowly, carefully, everything had to be right. It was. It was, he finally had enough. He could finally escape the abuse, the dreams that weren’t his, the constant pressure and fear. Finally he could start living, with a loving family.

He wanted to take Regulus with him. He really wanted to, but he knew he couldn’t. If they both left, his parents wouldn’t give up searching for them, because Reggie still wasn’t an adult. The guilt was still eating him alive though. He promised himself that he’ll come back for him as soon as he turns 18.

There was no way he was leaving Remus without a word though. He took a piece of paper, sat down at his desk, smiling softly. He got him something a few days ago. Little necklace with a wolf charm. It cost him one more day at home but he didn’t mind. He wrote the letter, and put the little necklace in the envelope. After a bit of thought he wrote another letter, this one for Regulus.

Now, he just has to wait.

DAY 55,5

Two hours after midnight, he snuck out of his room. He packed everything, well, it wasn’t much anyway. Before leaving he woke up Regulus. He had to know that Remus gets his letter.

“Reg. Oi, Reg, wake up”

“What the fuck, Sirius? What time is it?” he mumbled, still half asleep.

“Doesn’t matter. I need you to do me a favor” he said silently “I… can you give this letter to Remus tomorrow? And this one's for you”

“Please tell me you’re not going to kill yourself. I don’t have the energy to stop you now, it’s way too late for that”

“No, Reg. I promise, it’s quite the opposite. I’m leaving. I’m gonna go stay with the Potters… Like I told you before. I’ll come back for you. As soon as you turn 18 I’ll be at this door to save you from this goddamn place. But for now I gotta go. Maybe it’ll be easier now. I know I caused most fights over here. I’m so sorry Reg” he said, tearing up again.

Regulus pulled him into a hug without a word. He could’ve begged him to stay, crying and screaming to wake up their parents. Instead, the hug was full of silent understatement.

“James will send me your number later, right? I’ll save it as my school friend, okay? And we’ll communicate like that”

“Okay. Okay. I love you, Reggie”

“You too. Now go. They will wake up soon”

“Please give Remus the letter! Please” he said desperately, holding onto his brother's hand.

“Don’t worry. Your boyfriend will get his letter! Now go, go before I change my mind!”

And so he did. He ran, ran downstairs, out of the house, down the street. Sprinted towards the nearest train station to get a ticket for the nearest train. He did it. He couldn’t believe he really did. He started crying again. Maybe it’ll be better now. He’ll take time to heal, right? And then come back to Remus and Reggie. It’ll be fine.

DAY 56

It was a tough morning for Regulus. His parents didn’t even realize Sirius was gone, which made him want to scream in frustration. How the fuck do you hate your own child so much, that you don’t even notice when they ran away overnight?

He said a bitter goodbye, going to the cafe on his way to school. He had to go with the bus, because obviously Sirius left him without a driving license. Well, it was fine. Additional motivation to finally get it, or something, right?

“Regulus? Where’s your brother?” Remus had a worried expression on his face, when he didn’t see Sirius with him.

“Oh. Yeah, that. He… he wanted me to give you this. Don’t worry, he didn’t kill himself! That’s what I thought at first too, but no. He ran away. From our so-called parents. He went to move in with the Potters, and I know it’ll be better for him that way. He… you gave him a lot of strength, you know? It was really hard watching him in such a bad state when James had to move away and after you two met it got a bit better… I think you kept him going, Remus. Thank you”

“Wait, he left. What? When? Regulus, slow down, please” Remus said, hugging the envelope closely to his chest.

“Last night. It’s good, his mental health was collapsing in this house. He’ll finally recover. And he promised he will come back for me as soon as it’s… well, legal for me to leave. So you definitely will see him again. He just needs to work on himself, on his life, you know? He’s gonna be alright, I know that. I don’t blame him for leaving. I want him to be alright”

“Wait, Reggie, I’ll make you some coffee. Can I read the letter while it’s being made? Sit here, hm?”

Regulus simply nodded.

Remus went to start the coffee machine, while opening the envelope with his other hand. He struggled a bit, but then finally got it out.

First, he carefully took the little necklace. It had a wolf charm, and a moon right next to it. Just like the star one he got Sirius for his birthday. A single tear escaped from his eye, as he put it on. Now, the more important part. The letter.

“Hi, Moony.

Okay, so first, I wanna apologize for last night. Not that I regret it, obviously, just… It was selfish for me to kiss you right before leaving. I hope you don’t hate me for that. I just really fucking wanted to kiss you. Because you’re so freaking beautiful and I really, really like you.

Fuck, sorry. That was also selfish of me to say.

I didn’t want to leave you, I swear. If there was any other way… But I need to start over. Without contacting anyone from this place, so my parents won't find me, because they’ll be so pissed I wouldn’t be surprised if they hired a private detective to find me.

I just need time. A lot of it, probably, and therapy, too. Because I feel like my parents properly fucked up my brain. Well. We’ll see. I’m gonna try to get an appointment as soon as possible.

Because I really, really want to have my own life. I want to have a boyfriend. A husband, even. Wow, that feels so weird to say. Because you know, being queer was a big nono at home. I don’t think I ever truly accepted it.

But you helped me with that, a lot. I doubt you even realize how much. Just meeting with you helped, your touch, everything. And you make amazing coffee. That’s what I’m gonna miss the most.

(Kidding, obviously. I will miss you the most)

If everything works out I will be with James by tomorrow night. Then I’ll change my number, and get this current one blocked for now, so they won’t find me. I also have to change my card number, literally everything, so it’s gonna take a while. Then I’m gonna start looking for a job, and an apartment… I know Effie said I can stay with them for as long as I’d like but I really wanna start on my own.

Even eating what I fucking want sounds good. My parents are fucking crazy.

I really feel bad for leaving Reg there but I know that he’ll be alright. I’ll get James to send him a bit of money every month, and I’ll be able to text you through his phone. Please don’t sell me to my parents. (I know you won’t. You’re too good for that)

Can you look out for Reggie? I can’t fucking text him, and it’s bugging me so much, but just contacting me will put him in danger, knowing my parents. They’re much more gentle with him, though. He’s the golden child. So I’m sure he’ll be fine.

But still, check on him, please. I can fund therapy for him if he needs it.

There’s so many things I wish I could tell you. But… well, you know the saying, ‘right person, wrong time’? Yeah. That’s us, isn’t it?

I will miss you. And your coffee too. Hope to see you soon… And thank you for being my hope when I needed it most.

Ur favorite star, Sirius

PS. I hope you like the necklace. Watch out for any twins who might want to kill you. Love ya”

Damn you, Sirius. Making him cry mid shift.

“He’ll be fine, you know? I’m so glad he has James by his side, finally” Regulus brought him back to the earth.

“I know. I know, I’m so glad, too. I’m glad I got to meet him” he said, with a fond smile “There. Drink your coffee. On the house”

I fucking hope I can take care of him for you, Sirius. I’ll do my best.

DAY 700

It’s been almost two years since Sirius moved in with Potters. He found himself a little apartment, really close to their house, with low rent, perfect for a student like him. Therapy was helping a lot. He was nowhere near being fine, but it was getting better each day. When he finally felt safe at Potter's house his mind decided to let go completely. It was as if something took away batteries he needed to function. Being stuck in a survival mode for so long resulted in him not being able to really do anything for weeks, because he was so exhausted. And it wasn’t that kind of exhaustion that sleep would just take away. No, it was much worse, he felt like he was dying, but James was there, helping him with everything until he managed to finally pull himself out of the bed.

He missed Remus a lot. He was very worried about Regulus. Nothing was working out at first.

But then, slowly, he started to find his place in this world. He started medication, he started looking for a history university he could apply to. He was helping the Potters with rent until he moved out, and made sure to have some money James could send to Regulus. His birthday was getting closer. He could finally get Reggie out of there too.

At first he was scared of getting better. If you’re miserable your whole life you don’t really know anything other than misery. And unknown is scary. But the thought of how proud Remus would be kept him going every day. He really did his best.

Remus also moved on, and was doing fine. Finally finished college and moved cities because he found a new job opportunity there. He made sure to stay in touch with Regulus, who occasionally passed messages from Sirius to him.

He didn’t really fall in love with anyone else. He tried dating a few people but it never worked out. It was Sirius, all this time.

He wanted to get in touch with him, but figured out that he needed time to sort everything out. It was fine. A part of loving someone is wanting them to be alright, even if it means them being away from you. He didn’t mind giving him some time. He didn’t care if they wouldn’t be able to see each other again — he was fine with that as long as Sirius was happy.

Thanks to Black he realized he actually loved working at the coffee shop. So he also found another job, spending mornings in the coffee shop and then later in the day doing a teacher apprenticeship.

Life wasn’t so bad. The little necklace with a wolf charm reminded him of that.

“Hello? Hi, um, I’m here for a job interview and I don’t know this city very well so I don't know where I can get one but… Can you add honey and milk to my coffee?”

Remus froze in place, sorting something behind the counter. He felt his heart skip a beat. His voice got deeper, but it was him for sure. Who else drank coffee with honey and stumbled upon his words?

“Sorry, sir, we don’t have an…”

“I’ll make it for you”

Sirius froze in place, a huge smile growing on his face when he noticed who he was looking at. He looked so much healthier, even his horrible eye bags were gone.

“Moony” he said, happily, almost tearing up on the spot “Moony, I did it. I did it, it all worked out”

He sounded so proud of himself that Remus had no other choice but to jump over the counter and wrap his arms around him, pulling him into a deep hug, one of his hands finding its way into his hair. Sirius slumped into his arms, crying softly, everything suddenly flooding his mind.

“I know. I know, I’m so proud of you, love” Moony mumbled into his ear, holding onto him like his life depended on it. No, actually, like Sirius’ life depended on it.

“I don't want the coffee anymore” Sirius cried softly into his shoulder “I don’t want the coffee, you’ll make me one at home. My home. Let’s go. Let’s go, Moony” he tugged on his work shirt.

“Sirius, I have work. Can we wait until I finish…” Remus tried.

“No, no” he said “Please, I waited two years. Honestly, fuck your work Remus. Fuck it, all I need is a two hour long hug, so I can tell you everything that happened, and preferably just you, because I really fucking missed you and I and I… God, I’m so done.”

He was tired. Of life, mostly. Not in a ‘I wanna die’ way like he was tired before. No, just trying so hard all the time was exhausting. Remus’ arms painfully reminded him of that… How much he was craving a cuddle, so he can just talk, and rest, and do nothing else. The star necklace kept him alive for so long. But now he had his moon boy right here and all he was longing for was resting. Painful boredom, even, as long as it was with him.

All the emotions, everything he felt around that boy came back like a whiplash. He suddenly remembered how his lips felt against his own. He got the urge to kiss him again. He couldn’t tho. What if Remus already found somebody? He was so hot, he had to find someone eventually.

So instead of kissing him he grabbed the wolf necklace.

“You still have it” he said quietly “You still have it, the charm. I still have mine, oh, wait, you… oh Remus, I’m so sorry for kissing you that night. It was so selfish of me, to leave right after our first kiss I… I just couldn’t stop myself because well, honestly, it’s kind of your fault because why the fuck are you so good looking? And so intelligent? I hate you, Remus Lupin”

“No you don’t. Shut up, idiot” he said, and… pulled him into a soft, yet still desperate kiss.

Sirius was startled, just like Remus was two years ago. They didn’t break the kiss for a long time, not aware of being in the middle of a cafe while it happened. All that mattered was that they were together again, and after that long they could finally touch again.

“Love” Remus pulled away, earning a dissatisfied whine from Sirius “You know what, yeah, fuck my job. Let’s go, before my boss sees us. Come on, come on. You have a car?”

„I used to. Didn’t want one here. I like trains” he confessed, but Remus obviously had a car, so few minutes later they were on the way to his apartment, not talking, but sitting in a comfortable silence.

When they came in Sirius led Remus to the kitchen right away, showing him the coffee machine. He was still silent, seemingly too overwhelmed to talk. Lupin didn’t need him to talk, not really. Just his presence was soothing. Him giving him the honey, then leaving silently just to come back with clean clothes for him to borrow. When Remus went to the bathroom to change he settled onto the couch, making a little pillow fort, waiting for Moony to come back.

After he did, they snuggled against each other, Sirius sipping his coffee. He felt so safe like that. Under a blanket, his favorite coffee, Remus right next to him.

“I’m studying history” he whispered after a long period of silence “I did it. I got in. I wrote an essay about Ancient Rome. It worked, it fucking worked. Because of you, Moony. I did so much simply because of you.”

All Remus responded with was a warm smile and a gentle kiss, inviting him to tell him more if he wants to.

And Sirius really wanted to. They talked for hours, and Sirius still had so much left to say, but was getting tired. Half-conscious he snuggled closer, protecting Remus from any possible scenario that would result in him suddenly disappearing again. Lupin didn’t mind, though. He fell asleep as well, after long hours of just staring, admiring, cherishing the fact that he’s there, he’s breathing, he’s fine. And most importantly, Remus could finally call him mine. That was the most important part.

James came to visit a few hours later, while they were still asleep. It took him a bit and almost shitting his pants to realize that it was Remus who was holding Sirius so caringly.

They earned another blanket for that. He wrapped them in it, going to the kitchen to give them some privacy. He was so happy for them, really. Both Sirius and Remus. Maybe some stories do come with happy endings.