Chapter Text
It had been five weeks since the “Vecna Apocalypse,” as he liked to call it. Five long and hard weeks of recovery since he had been a demobat’s chew toy. And even though Eddie was back in school trying to finish his senior year, and all his physical injuries were healed, his mental scars were still very fresh.
If you were to ask anyone, they’d say Eddie had thick skin and let other people’s opinions slide, and for the most part that was true.
At the age of five, Eddie’s dad slapped him for the first time and called him a “waste of space,” at the time it had hurt much more than the slap, especially when his mom didn’t come to his defense. Perhaps it was the cocaine floating around her system that prevented her from reacting, or at least that’s what he liked to tell himself. These days it was rare to see his parents sober.
When he was nine, he had gotten used to his father’s verbal abuse and found comfort in spending much of his time away from home. He would hide in his bedroom and scribble away on loose pieces of paper he found around school, creating little characters and cutting them out to make some dolls that he could play with. It became his way of comforting himself when the shouting from the other room became too much.
A few months after his tenth birthday, his mother overdosed and his dad was arrested. Little Eddie stayed a few nights in foster care while Wayne drove all the way from Hawkins to Chicago. It was during these nights in a stranger’s home, that Eddie started to believe all those hateful things his father would shout at him, and for the first time in his life, he truly felt unwanted.
Prior to being placed in Wayne’s care, Eddie had only met his uncle a few times when his parents would drive back to Hawkins so that Eddie could stay with him while they went on a “business trip”. And even though they had formed a close connection, Eddie started to feel like a burden. He couldn’t help the thoughts that festered in his head.
Surely Wayne only feels bad for him and that’s why he took him in.
If his parents didn’t want him, why would his uncle?
During those first few months of living with Wayne in the trailer, his uncle noticed that Eddie’s usual energetic demeanor and charming smile were stuck behind a wall of blank stares and sad eyes. At first, Wayne shrugged it off as grieving for his mother, but as the months went on and Eddie’s mood seemed to worsen, so did his uncle’s concern. One night, during a cold November day, Wayne sat down with Eddie and finally learned what was keeping Eddie so down.
Eddie, you are my family and I love you as if you were my own son. Everything I do for you is out of love. I don’t want you to ever feel like you are a burden, because in reality you are the best thing that has happened to me.
Eddie had looked into his uncle’s eyes with tears sliding down his warm cheeks, and hugged him as hard as he could. It wasn’t like his worries were magically absolved, but he did feel better after his uncle voiced his love directly. This in turn made Wayne become more vocal with his love, and it made Eddie realize that he was worthy of being loved.
Wherever Eddie felt like he was slipping into old habits and feeling like a burden, he would replay Wayne’s words in his head until he felt better.
At the age of thirteen, Eddie was called a “queer” by Jimmy’s father once he found his son and Eddie holding hands under the table at dinner. At that time, Eddie didn’t understand what the word meant, and why holding his friend’s hand was such a bad thing when boys and girls held hands when they liked each other. Still, his lack of understanding allowed for the word to slide off his back. The second time he was called a queer was in P.E. a few weeks later. They had been playing dodgeball and a kid had hit Eddie in the stomach with a ball. Being caught by surprise, Eddie fell to the ground coughing and clutching his stomach while tears ran down his face. “Stop acting like a queer Munson!” was what one of his classmates had yelled.
At fifteen, Eddie came to the conclusion that he was only attracted to boys. This time around, he knew that he had to act a certain way in public in order to keep himself safe, yet that didn’t stop the downpour of slurs that came his way. This time, “fag” and “faggot” were added to the list of names he was called.
Eddie knew that he liked what was seen as weird or unconventional, and not just when it came to his sexuality. His taste in music was different, the way he dressed caused dirty looks from the suburban moms, even the fantasy game he liked to play made people think he worshiped the devil. All these reasons caused Eddie to not even blink twice when he started being called a “freak” in high school. At the end of the day, he had been called worse. Instead, he decided to lean into it, and play the part they all desperately wanted him to play.
However, being called a “murderer,” affected Eddie in a way that he had forgotten he could feel. He felt like he was a kid all over again, feeling like a burden to the people around him. Even after his name had been cleared, it still didn’t change some people’s minds.
So, if you asked Eddie if he had thick skin, he would claim that he works to make it look that way, while in reality, he struggles with the names he’s called and feeling unworthy.
If you asked Steve right now, he would say that Eddie seemed off. Normally Eddie would come in every Thursday afternoon to bother Steve and Robin at Family Video before choosing a movie or two to rent for the weekend. And if he flirted with Steve while doing so, then that was his business only. Except that Steve liked when Eddie flirted with him, he liked feeling flustered and liked that his thoughts got all jumbled up. That had been a whole revelation in itself that led to an interesting conversation with Robin.
Today was different. It was nearing closing time and Eddie hadn’t been by the entire day. Normally this wouldn’t worry Steve seeing as plans can change, but after Dustin had come in to ask if Steve had seen Eddie today, Steve started to grow concerned.
“Nah man, he hasn’t come in. Maybe he’s at the Wheeler’s house studying with Nance.” Steve commented while picking up a box of returns and plopping it on the counter to begin sorting through.
“That’s the thing, he wasn’t at school today, and Nancy was pissed when I saw her at Mike’s house.” Dustin claimed while snatching the tape from Steve’s hand and demanding his full attention.
“Maybe he’s having a bad pain day, have you tried calling him?”
“Yes Steve! I tried but he wasn't answering and when I went by the trailer and he wasn’t there!” Steve couldn’t blame Dustin’s anxiety, especially after Eddie almost died in the boy’s arms. Ever since, Dustin liked to keep constant tabs on Eddie as a reminder that he was in fact alive and well.
“Alright, well, I’ll try to call him and go by his trailer after my shift.” Steve said while placing his hand on Dustin’s upper arm and giving him a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s fine.” Dustin nodded but didn’t seem convinced, and soon enough he was out the door.
Steve finished his shift and drove Robin home. On his way to Forest Ridge, he tried very hard not to let the creeping anxiety get the best of him. Eddie is fine, is what Steve kept telling himself. He’s fine.
As he parked his car outside the Munson’s trailer, he kept repeating the mantra over and over. However, the lack of music worried him. He’s fine. Steve walked up the small steps and knocked on the door. No answer, but he could see a light coming from Eddie’s room. He’s fine, he probably fell asleep. Just in case, he knocked again, but no answer came. Steve sighed and moved towards the widow that led into Eddie’s room and tapped it. “Eddie, I know you’re in there, can you let me in?” Steve heard a groan and a few seconds later, the front door opened to reveal a disheveled looking Eddie.
Eddie stood in front of Steve, looking small and scared. He was wearing only one sock, what seemed like old, blue, plaid boxer shorts and a clearly oversized, plain, black t-shirt. Steve’s brain came to a halt. He’s not fine. He looked into the older boy’s eyes and followed him inside, closing the door behind him.
“Are you okay?” Steve cringed internally, clearly he’s not okay you moron. “Dustin came by and seemed worried, I came by to check up on you.”
Eddie groaned and flopped back into his bed. The room was filled with a deafening silence before Eddie cleared his throat and softly spoke. “I’m fine. Sorry for worrying you.” he opened his eyes and looked at Steve who was standing by the door, hands on his hips. Eddie noticed the slight bags under his eyes and the Family Video vest he was still wearing over his polo shirt. He groaned again and sat up. “Fuck man, you’re probably tired. You shouldn’t have come.”
Steve noticed that Eddie couldn’t meet his eyes, and kept looking down at his currently bare hands and playing with his fingers. “Eds, something is clearly upsetting you. Maybe I can help.”
Eddie scoffed and covered his face with his hands. “I- I just- It’s stupid, and I know that, but I feel like I’m constantly a burden to everyone around me.”
“Eddie, you’re not-” Steve was interrupted by Eddie standing up from his bed and approaching him.
“My whole life I’ve been called names, I've grown used to it. But “murderer” hits different Steve. And it pissess me off that I can’t ignore it. It pisses me off that it’s taking such a toll on me and everyone around me.” He pauses to take a breath before continuing. “I can’t leave the fucking house without getting dirty looks from people, even though my name has been cleared. I had to practically beg the woman at the record store to let me work there, and convince her that I wasn’t in fact a criminal.”
Steve reached out and took Eddie's hand and gave it a light squeeze. “I’m just so fucking tired.” Eddie croaked out before he started sobbing and rubbing at his eyes to hide the tears. And fuck if that didn’t break Steve’s heart. He pulled Eddie into his chest and gave him a tight embrace, letting the older boy cry at his shoulder. He continued to rub soft circles on his back, and after Eddie calmed down a little bit, he moved them to the bed.
Steve kicked off his shoes and threw the vest he was wearing on top of them, before climbing in next to the little ball Eddie had curled himself into. Eddie’s head was turned in towards Steve's chest, while Steve moved his hand on the boy’s long locks and started to gently caress him. Eddie’s breath started to even out and calm down, until eventually he drifted off into a deep sleep. Surely enough, Steve also got relaxed to the point of also dozing off.
Steve woke up abruptly and checked his watch, it was a little past six in the evening. He shifted his weight on the arm and turned to look at Eddie who was still fast asleep. It killed him to have to stand up and go take a piss, especially when Eddie looked so peaceful. As he tried to move, Eddie’s hand quickly grasped his t-shirt and pulled him back. “I’m not leaving, i just need to pee. I’ll be back in two minutes.” That seemed to be enough for Eddie, as he let go of his shirt and went back to sleep.
After peeing and washing his hands, Steve looked in the mirror and splashed some water on his face. Get it together Harrington. A hole nestled itself in the back of his throat as he realized he was blushing. He didn’t want to admit what Eddie did to him. He was smitten and he knew that. And as much as he liked flirting with Eddie and vice versa, he was too scared to let it go anywhere else. Especially because he knew that the last time he had felt like this was when he first started dating Nancy.
After five minutes, he entered Eddie’s room to find him sitting on the bed rubbing his eyes and waking up. “You feeling any better?” Eddie’s head snapped up at Steve’s voice breaking the silence in the room.
“I was kinda hoping you had left, so that I wouldn’t have to face you after embarrassing myself.” Steve furrowed his eyebrows and sat at the edge of the bed, resting his hand on Eddie’s knee. He didn’t miss the way Eddie’s breath faltered at the touch.
“You didn’t embarrass yourself.”
“I don’t tend to cry about my feelings, Steve, especially in front of people.” Steve hesitated before squeezing his knee in reassurance that it was fine. Steve thought for a few seconds before standing up.
“Tell you what. How about I do something embarrassing in return?” Eddie looked up at him in confusion and prompted him to continue explaining. “You felt vulnerable and now you’re embarrassed. So take this opportunity as a token of my friendship.”
“You’re still not making any sense, Harrington.” Eddie spoke, looking up at Steve.
“You can choose between doing something that will embarrass me, or I can tell you an embarrassing secret. You choose.” Eddie’s eyes widened, and a smirk replaced his frown. He immediately stood up and began to rifle through some drawers in his closet before moving on to his bedside table.
“Ah ha! I knew it was still here!” Steve looked at the older boy in confusion as he turned around with a polaroid camera in his hands. He was already regretting this.
“What are you going to do with that?” He asked. Steve tried to push down the intrusive thoughts circling around in his head.
“Nothing at the moment Steve-o.” Eddie cheekily smiled at him. “However, I’ll start carrying this with me, and one of these days, I’ll catch you doing something embarrassing and commemorate it. “ Steve immediately knew he was fucked. He had given Eddie too much creative liberty.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to tell you about the time I got a boner in Church?”
“As tempting as that is, and believe me, I’m very tempted. I know I’ll hear that story sometime in the future.” Steve groaned but gave in, knowing there was no point in trying to convince Eddie.
After much reassurance that he was fine, Steve left and drove back to his cold and empty house. He called Dustin and told him that Eddie was having some pain problems, and that’s why he had been distant. He obviously didn’t like lying to him, but that had been an intimate moment of vulnerability, and he wasn’t about to misplace Eddie’s trust.
Sure enough, a few days later, Eddie was overjoyed to find himself in the perfect time and place to take the embarrassing picture. Steve had agreed to host a Hellfire meeting at his house. Granted, it had gone on longer than anyone expected, and Steve had been an attentive host all evening, so it wasn’t a surprise when he sat down on the sofa and promptly fell asleep. Eddie found him once the session was over and he went to look for Steve. As soon as he saw him, he ran to where he’d left his bag and retrieved the camera. He ran back and took a picture. He smirked to himself as the image developed.
Steve woke up to the front door closing. He looked around and found that everyone had gone home. On the coffee table, he noticed a small note and a picture next to it.
I took the little shits home. Sweet dreams Stevie.
– Eddie X
Steve looked at the picture and groaned out loud. He did, however, find himself blushing at the nickname.
– – –
Eddie knew he shouldn’t have taken an extra picture and pocketed it. It was fucked up, but sue him. Steve looked cute, way too cute to be fair. Be blushed and placed the picture in a random box in his nightstand.
