Work Text:
Felix walks into the dining room wearing a sleeveless T-shirt that falls to the middle of his thighs. Chan wants to ask if it’s one of his just to hear Felix say there is no such thing as your shirts here. Instead he lets his eyes linger on the softness of his thighs. They’re pale and soft. Milky. Chan bites his cheek and looks back at the paper in front of him.
Felix rubs his eyes with the back of his hand and plants his cute little ass on a chair to Chan’s left.
“You left me.” He whines into his elbow and stretches his arm over the table like a cat.
“We’ve been in bed all day.” Chan chuckles.
It’s 6pm. They got up to eat and then went straight back to bed for a nap. Chan woke up 10 minutes ago and got here, still just in boxers.
“Not all day. You left me now.”
“Does it count if I left so I can write a song about you?”
Felix lets out a small puff of laughter, the air ruffling soft hair covering his forehead. “Struck by inspiration as soon as you woke up?”
“Little bit, yeah.”
“Do I get to see?”
Chan giggles and crosses his ankles. “Ah, not yet. When I’m done? It’s just a rough draft now. Don’t even have the melody yet.”
Felix just nods. “Mmmkay.”
He never pushes to see Chan’s work before Chan is ready to share. And when it comes to his songs about Felix (an embarrassingly high percentage of his hard drive), Chan likes to get them as close to perfection as possible before revelation.
Felix takes hostage of his hand, palm up and raises his head to watch as he draws small circles with his thumb. “I need both hands, baby.”
“You don’t.”
“The paper's gonna slide.”
“Tough luck.”
Chan snorts and clicks his pen, drawing a small heart at the top right corner of it, above his words. “You do that a lot.”
“What?” Felix doesn’t pick up his eyes.
“Touch my hands. Look at them.”
“They’re my favorite part of you.”
Chan raises his eyebrows. “Really? I didn’t know that. Why?”
Felix sighs and runs all of his fingers over Chan’s palm, to the tips of his fingers and back down, rubbing his wrist gently. “You make your music with them. Create. They’re so… You touch me with them.” He picks up Chan’s hand and brings it to his face, until Chan is cupping his cheek, nuzzles into it, again, like a cat. “Love me with them. They’re just so full of life.”
Chan has a morbid thought of how he wishes he could cut them off and wrap them in a present for Felix if he likes them so much.
He can’t do that, because he needs his hands and Felix probably likes them attached to the rest of him more, but he can stroke his thumb under Felix’s nose and smile at him.
“You’re so cute.”
Felix smiles, lazy and relaxed, still a little sleepy. Takes Chan’s hand off of his face and lays it back down on the table gently. “Also. Sometimes when we’re sleeping and I have a nightmare, I like to take one close to me and press… right here…” his index finger rests against Chan’s pulse point until Chan becomes aware of it where they connect. “And it calms me down. I just think to myself okay, he’s here. He’s alive, I can feel it. As long as he’s here I’m safe, nothing’s gonna happen to me.”
Chan thinks it would be a little ridiculous to cry right now and he knows Felix will cry if he sees him cry and he doesn’t want a headache for either of them. He’s seen Felix check his own pulse on his neck when he’s nervous, breathe in, blink a few times.
“Baby, why don’t you wake me up?”
Felix smiles and shakes his head as if he knew Chan would say exactly that, which he probably did. “No need. It’s not huge. It’s enough like this.”
When you wake up, you have difficulty falling back asleep he doesn’t say. You have trouble sleeping as it is he doesn’t say. Chan swallows.
“Tell you what.” Felix taps the table. “I am willing to trade you back your hand.”
Chan flexes his fingers, squeezing Felix’s small wrist. “What are your conditions?”
Felix smiles and lets go, stands up and slides a leg over Chan’s lap, straddling him. Then he brings his legs up and Chan has to scoot forward to accommodate them where they wrap around his back. Felix slides his arms around Chan’s shoulders, face buried in Chan’s neck and sighs.
“This is so nice.”
“It can’t be comfortable.” Chan giggles and cages him with his arms, looking back at his paper. What’s the use when he has three more ideas already? He doodles another heart, right next to his first one. Draws small hands, so they can hold them.
“So nice.” Felix insists, rubbing his nose against Chan’s throat. Has he compared him to a cat yet?
“As long as you’re happy.” He plants a small kiss on top of Felix’s head.
“Well. It’s not ideal.”
“What would be ideal?” Tell me. I’ll make it happen.
“Ideal would be me crawling under your skin.”
Chan chuckles and strokes Felix’s back. “What would you do there?”
“Live my best life. Do pull ups on your ribs. Jump around your lungs, like a trampoline. Swim in your stomach.”
Chan closes his eyes and imagines a tiny Felix getting hit on the head with a piece of broccoli falling from Chan’s throat. “What about my heart?”
“Your heart?” his limbs squeeze Chan. “I’d sleep there. Very gently. It’s so soft and huge anyway, would be the best bed.”
Chan imagines that too. He guesses if Felix had a nightmare he would be able to feel his whole bed beating and feel safe. “I wish I could do that for you.”
Felix snorts. “I’d be too lonely. And so would you. I like us like this better. This is, like, the best version of us. Best universe.”
“Yeah?” Chan turns the paper and leaves the pen, starts stroking Felix’s thighs, smiles when small hairs stand up. “You believe in parallel universes?”
“I do. Thought about it for the first time when I was in primary school. I liked this boy but he had a girlfriend.” Chan knows this. He doesn’t know the universe part though. “Back in Australia, I told you about it. Andrew?”
“The one who played basketball?”
“Bingo. Tall fucker. And it was a passive crush, he wasn’t even into boys and he had a girlfriend, but I liked him anyway. And then when that faded away and we split ways in high school, I thought to myself there is a universe somewhere where we end up together. And then after that whenever I didn’t get something I wanted I just told myself some other me somewhere has it.”
“That shit is so cute.” Chan rubs his nose against Felix’s hair. “So there is a universe where you live inside me?”
Felix detaches himself from Chan’s neck but scoots closer (if that’s possible) with his crotch until their chests are pressed together, in compensation. “Yes. There’s a universe where you didn’t leave the bed and I didn’t have to come here and get you.”
“Don’t I write songs about you in that universe?” he grins.
“You take out your phone notes so you don’t have to leave me in that universe.”
“Hm. And is that you happier than this you?”
“Much.”
“Well, we can’t have that.”
He gets his hands on Felix’s ass and stands up, turns around and carries him back to their bedroom. Felix wiggles out of their shirt as soon as he’s back on the mattress and taps it. Chan has no other option but to follow.
Felix stacks their pillows against the headboard until Chan leans into them and Felix leans into him. He shifts until his head is on Chan’s chest, half of his body draped over Chan’s own, looking up at him.
“Tell me about other universes?”
“Hm.” Felix blinks. “There’s one where we are kpop idols.”
“Really? Are we a duo? Soloists?”
“Nah. A group. All eight of us. You’re the leader and you feel so guilty about liking me, you wanna be responsible and not risk the group. But you talk about me so much and all the fans ship us and everyone is sick of your shit.”
Chan laughs. “Do I eventually do something about it?”
“You write so many songs about me and I have enough and just kiss you on the mouth. And you’re all like oh, but Felix, baby, we can’t and I’m all like oh, but Channie, baby, I don’t give a fuck.”
“Fair.”
“We fuck in the dance studio and Minho-hyung wants to kill you.”
“Just me?”
“He has a soft spot for me. At first I’m scared of him, but he eventually adores me. Oh, I speak basically no Korean when I get here and you help me so much with it.”
“And we’re both from Australia so I always say that you’re like my home away from home.”
Felix smiles at him slowly. “Exactly.”
“Tell me another one.” Chan demands. He’s greedy for it now.
“There’s one where we both still live in Australia, obviously. Then there’s one where I’m still there and you’re in Korea. One where I’m the one in Korea. We do long distance. It’s hell but we make it work.”
Just the thought of not being able to touch Felix makes Chan squeeze him tighter, as if he’s gonna slip away any second. “Do we have phone sex?”
“Video sex too. I send you videos while you’re at work and you have to leave the studio and jerk off sadly.”
“Demon.”
“Nah, a baby.”
“My baby.”
“Your baby.”
“More.”
Felix giggles but nods. “Umm, there is one where we live somewhere else too. Europe. US. Everywhere. There’s one where you’re a producer for a kpop group and I’m their backup dancer and you come once to see us rehearse a choreo for your new song and you’re like oh my god, who is that, I must have him now.”
Chan throws his head back with a laugh. “And what are your thoughts when you see me?”
“I ask Jisung about you and then find excuses to be around you so much.”
“I’d make songs just to fit your style of dancing.”
“Minho-hyung would yell at you.”
“Is there a universe where Minho doesn’t yell at me?”
“I doubt it.”
Chan likes it like that. He lets his hand rest on Felix’s thigh, brings it a little higher around his hip. Felix stretches willingly. “Okay. Is there a universe where we don’t end up together?”
“No.” Felix laughs like the mere idea is absurd.
“Not a single one?”
“Out of an infinite number of universes out there, not a single one where we’re not together. We’re soulmates, Channie. We find our way to each other, always.”
Chan closes his eyes so he doesn’t cry so Felix wouldn’t cry and kisses his forehead. “That makes me really happy.”
“Same. You tell me one now.”
Chan thinks of Felix. Thinks of other Felixes and other Chans somewhere. Swallows. “There’s one where you’re a prince and I’m your guard.”
“Ohhh, I like that one. My parents want to marry me off because of politics but my guard fucks me every night. The whole castle knows and they can’t tell me shit about it. You’d beat them all up if they tried to snatch me away.”
“I’d kill them.”
Perhaps a bit harsh, especially since no one is taking his Felix away, but Chan needs him to know. Felix doesn’t seem repulsed by it. (He likes it. He’s delighted. Chan doesn’t dwell on what it all means.)
“You lock the door to my room and then take me on my silk sheets.”
Chan closes his eyes. Imagines it. Sheets are royal blue. Felix has brown hair. His parents want him to keep a professional imagine. But he wants to go blonde. Chan buys him the hair dye. He grips Felix’s hair when he kisses him.
Present, non-prince Felix slides his leg until he’s back to straddling Chan, chin digging into his sternum now. “There’s one where you box. I’m your neighbor and I fuss over you whenever you come home fucked up. I clean up your wounds, but I like having you shirtless in my bathroom at 2am too much.”
“You also like the blood.”
“I do not!” Felix gasps.
“You like the blood a little bit.”
An eye-roll. A chin dig next to his nipple as punishment. “I like the blood a little bit.”
“Do you come see me fight?”
“No. I’d cry.”
“Do I get rewards if I win?”
“You get rewards regardless.”
A reward now comes in the form of a single hip roll. Their cocks brush together, through their underwear, still soft.
“Do you make me stop boxing?”
“I don’t want to take away what you love doing from you. You stop on your own, because you know it hurts me to see you hurt again and again.”
That sounds realistic.
Chan closes his eyes and rests his hands on the small of Felix’s back. “Hm. There’s a universe where you’re a model and I’m your bodyguard.”
“Another one where you have to protect me. Wish I could say I’m surprised.”
“Another one where you’re worshiped.”
“I’m worshiped in every universe.”
“By me, yes, obviously. But by other people.”
“Mmm, don’t care about other people. Just wanna be worshiped by you.”
Chan is glad Felix isn’t sleeping on top of his heart so he can’t feel the way it beats double speed at his words.
Another roll of hips. Felix looks so peaceful on top of him.
“There’s one where we’re lesbians.” He says.
Chan opens his eyes. “Oh?”
“Yeah. We’d make such hot girls. You have huge boobs and I have tiny ones, but you love them anyway.”
“I do. I love your body in every universe.”
Felix grants him a gentle smile. He raises up a little until he’s lying completely on top of Chan and his face is back in his neck, but he supports his weight by his elbows. A small kiss under his jaw. “You make me feel good about my body in every universe.”
Chan wonders how many times today will he have to swallow his tears.
“That’s good. You deserve to feel good. In every universe imaginable.”
“There’s one where you don’t have insomnia.” Felix whispers and kisses the same spot again. He spreads his legs a little, arches his back.
Chan’s hands slide down to his ass. “There’s one where you don’t have to work. I work and you just lie in bed all day and you’re pretty.”
“Oh, I wanna go to that one.”
Chan knows it’s not true. Felix would go crazy after a week. Maybe 10 days.
“There’s one where you’re my sugar baby.”
Chan cackles. “Then I wanna go to that one.”
Felix decides to roll his hips again lazily. Doesn’t matter how little effort he puts in though, not when Chan is gone for him either way. Any way. Any universe.
“Mhm, yeah. And you’re all awkward and like but you’re younger than me Felix; no, don’t buy me that, Felix; that’s too expensive, Felix.”
“Is there sugar in our relationship?”
“Lots. I buy you new music equipment ‘cause you’re a starving artists and you get a boner the size of the moon for me and have to blow me against your new keyboard. I keep hitting the keys.”
“I record it.”
“Pervert.” Felix scolds him and breathes out softly. They’re both getting hard.
Chan has a horrifying thought. “Wait. If there’s one where we’re lesbians, is there one where we’re straight?”
More air hitting his throat. This time in a form of laughter. “Yes. But then one of us is a girl. I told you we always end up together. That way I can finally put a baby in you for real.”
Chan’s dick twitches. Felix looks down at him. “Oh? Wanna be a mommy? Mommy Chan. Mommy Chris.”
“With you? I’d love to.”
Felix smiles, like it was a good answer. He’s smiling so much today. Now Chan’s heart twitches, if that’s possible. He imagines a tiny Felix stirring awake on top of it, confused.
“There’s one where we’re surfers. One where we’re both competitive swimmers. One where you’re a life guard and I keep coming to your pool and I’m all like oh no, a cramp, oh whatever shall I do, please save me, help me, oh look, I gotta hold on tight, fuck.” He keeps gasping like he’s actually in water fighting for air and grabbing Chan’s forearms, fingers continuously squeezing his muscles.
“My little damsel in distress.”
“So much distress.”
Felix stretches away from Chan. His lower half stays attached to Chan and Chan’s hands keep him there, he obviously doesn’t wanna separate as he goes through their top drawer. He comes back with their lube.
“Thought you were leaving me.” Chan whines.
“I’m not cruel like you.” Felix shrugs. He sadly has to move so he can take off his boxers. Then he tugs on Chan’s and Chan lifts his hips to help him. Then Felix is back on top of him. “Tell me another one.”
Chan takes the lube, opens it. Squirts some on his fingers and starts warming it up. “Okay. There’s one where you’re a youtuber.”
“See? There you go, making me huge again.”
“That’s because I’m your biggest fan!”
Felix rolls his eyes. Chan starts massaging his rim. “Fine. What’s my content?”
Chan can’t choose but then he remembers he doesn’t have to. “There are two.” He slowly starts sliding his finger in and kisses between Felix’s brows. “In one, you are a gamer. You stream. But no one’s ever seen your face. And they just know you by your voice and everyone is obsessed. I don’t give a shit about games but I watch every live. Then you reveal your face and I wanna die because you’re just the cutest ball of fluff, how could someone with that voice look like that?”
Felix laughs. He clenches around Chan’s finger. “Do you touch yourself to my voice?”
“That’s in a universe where you film guided masturbation audios on Twitter.”
“Oh my god!” Felix squeezes his eyes. Chan starts counting his eyelashes but then they reopen. That’s okay, he can do it later, when Felix is asleep. He hasn’t done it in a few days. Maybe there are more. Less? He works another finger into Felix. “Okay and that other one where I’m a youtuber. What do I film there?”
“Oh, ASMR.”
“So you jerk off to that too.”
“Fuck off.”
“You jerk off to my voice in every universe. And you feel guilty about it.”
“Okay, my universes make you a beloved public figure. All of yours include me feeling guilty about liking you.”
“Because you’re the personification of Catholic guilt, Christopher.”
“You’re the Catholic one!”
“Oh.” Felix blinks. Chan scissors his fingers. “Okay. Here’s one. I’m a priest.”
“Oh my god.”
“I’m a priest and you start coming to my church and I keep getting these wet dreams.” Felix cups Chan’s cheek. “You’re such a temptation, Channie-hyung. What do I do?”
“Give in.” Chan whispers back in the same scandalous tone. “Do I take your virginity?”
“I break my celibacy for you!”
“Blasphemous!”
“You fuck me against the altar.” Felix gets his hands on Chan’s chest and pushes back onto his fingers. “I keep moaning oh god and you say something cringe like yes, I’m your god or call me that again.”
Chan bumps their foreheads together. “No, I say not god, just Chan is fine.”
“You’re so fucking lame.” Felix gasps against his lips before claiming them.
Chan pulls his fingers out. Reaches for the lube. Felix helps him find it. More on his fingers. Three fingers in Felix now.
“I have another one.” Felix moans, knees sliding on the sheets, cock rubbing against Chan’s own. They both hiss in pleasure. “But it features more of your guilt, do you want it?”
“Tell me every single one, I don’t give a fuck.”
“We’re childhood friends. I’m Minho-hyung’s younger brother and he’s your best friend. I have a huge puppy crush on you all my life. You see me as a kid. You go away for college. When you come back I’m in college and you’re like—fuck, right there.”
“Here?” Chan curls his fingers. Felix bites his lower lip and nods. “What am I like when I come back, baby? Tell me.”
“You, uh. You, you like me so much and you don’t see me as a kid anymore, you’re surprised how mature I am and all.”
“Oh am I now?”
“Yeah. You’re afraid of Minho-hyung but fuck that.”
“Yeah, fuck that.” Chan agrees and kisses him again. Felix whines into his mouth and then reaches behind himself to tug on Chan’s wrist. Chan wonders if he can feel his pulse. Fingers out, Felix sits up on Chan’s thighs and gets the lube himself. “Fuck that and fuck me.”
“My pleasure.”
Small, wet fingers wrap around Chan’s cock and then Felix is scooting forward until he can start sinking down slowly. Chan guides him with hands on Felix’s hips. “Is there a universe where I don’t fuck you well enough?” he asks.
Felix nods. “There are plenty where we’re both virgins. But it’s okay, it’s all awkward and shit.” He goes a little up and then back down. Chan digs fingertips into Felix’s criminally unmarked skin so he doesn’t fuck up into him. “It’s sweet. We figure it out together. Practice makes it perfect and all that.”
“So perfect.”
“So perfect.” Felix repeats and sits fully down. Breathes out. “There are ones where we’re ace. No sex at all.”
“Makes sense.”
“There are ones where we’re not even human.”
“Because you’re an angel.”
Felix snorts. “And you are?”
“A temptation again.” Chan wiggles his eyebrows and moves Felix on his cock, just a little.
“I’m down for that. I was thinking more we’re animals.”
“You’re the fluffiest kitten ever then.”
“And you’re a huge puppy. And our owners are so scared you’re gonna hurt me, but we’re besties. I ride on your back and sleep on top of you.”
“That shit is so fucking cute.”
“Like you.”
Felix starts moving. Nails dig into Chan’s pecs and he whines. Felix’s hips, still in Chan’s hands. Up and down. Slowly. Then faster.
“There’s one where I’m a painter and you’re a nude model.” Felix says.
“No, I wanna be the painter.”
“Tough luck.”
Chan moans. Felix is everything. Hot, wet, tight, letting him in, breathing around him, on top of him, alive. Chan’s. Chan’s own, in every universe.
Felix cries out. Squeezes on Chan’s cock. They moan together. “You’re my dentist.” He tells him.
“Do I feel guilty about wanting to fuck your mouth?”
“No, you love it. Keep making up excuses why I have to come back all the time.”
“You’re a bartender and I hate alcohol, but I keep coming back.” He plants his feet on the bed. It jostles Felix on top of him. A whimper.
“I figure you out. I serve you nonalcoholic shit.”
“Thank you. I wanna keep my liver.”
“Same. Love your liver. It’s part of my playground.” Chan nods. He’d carve out all of his organs and offer them on a plate for Felix to do whatever. “We pull off a heist.”
“Us?”
“Shut up, I find it hot. You’re a mafia boss and I’m your arm candy.”
“Mmm, I like that one.” Chan gropes Felix’s ass, helps him move. “No one would touch you.”
“’Cause you’d kill them?”
“’Cause I’d kill them.”
“Fuck, shut up, no more of that. I like it too much, it’s sick.” Felix slumps forward and kisses him. “Oh, I have one. I’m with Jisung and you’re with Minho-hyung. But we don’t work out. We all break up. Then they meet each other and we meet each other. Perfect match.”
“My perfect match.” Chan whispers it into Felix’s mouth, hips snapping up.
“We’re teachers.”
“You teach computer science.”
“You teach English.”
“All the kids ship us.”
“We always talk about each other. It’s disgusting.”
“So annoying.”
Felix rolls his hips some more. Chan kisses his neck, already breathless. Spreads his cheeks, fucks into him. Felix’s arms give out. “Chris.”
“My turn?”
“Please.”
“Got you.”
Chan holds him on the small of his back and rolls them over. He doesn’t slide out so Felix can’t whine at the loss. One of Felix’s legs goes over his shoulder easily, dancer’s flexibility. Chan kisses the scar under his knee. “Taekwondo rivals.”
“PR stunt relationship turned real.”
“Friends with benefits.”
“A sure disaster.”
“You’re in a rock band. I’m your groupie.”
“Fuck, yeah?”
Chan grunts and thrusts harder. Felix throws his head back, revealing his throat. Chan leans in to lick at the drop of sweat. “I’m following you on tour. I’m at the front every show. You notice me.”
“I tell my manager to ask you to come backstage.”
“You bend me over the drums.”
“Changbin-hyung plays the drums. He yells at me for getting cum all over them.”
“I don’t care, I’m with a rock star.”
“My biggest fan.”
“Your biggest fan.”
Felix strokes Chan’s hair out of his eyes. He looks into them and opens his mouth to let out another deep moan. “College.”
“You go to parties and get drunk. I come pick you up.”
“We have study dates but we always end up making out.”
“Our grades suck.”
“You’re a tattoo artist. Covered, head to toe. Piercings too—ah, Chris, please.”
“You fall for my tattoos?”
Felix nods. He’s breathing so much air into Chan’s face. Chan readjusts his grip until Felix’s cock is trapped between their stomachs. “My mom warns me about you. You’re bad news.”
“But you don’t listen.”
“No. I’m worse news. People just underestimate me.”
If that ain’t the truth.
Chan grips Felix’s hair, presses their foreheads together. “You’re the head chef. I’m a newbie.”
“You’re useless.”
“I keep spilling shit.”
“I favor you over everyone anyway.”
“Everyone hates me.”
“You’re a mechanic and I know shit about cars. I keep ignoring all my lights.”
Chan is going to cum.
“Do I work shirtless?”
“How else?”
He closes his eyes and imagines bending Felix over the hood of his car, getting on his knees and making him cry on his tongue. “Felix.”
“Same, touch me, I’m right there, touch me.”
Chan wraps his hand around Felix’s dick. Prince Felix arches his back. Head chef Felix moans for him. Rock star Felix claws at his back. Chan is fucking all of them. His Felix smashes their lips together and bites Chan’s lip. Chan tastes blood.
Felix keeps his teeth there until he’s cumming and then he has to gulp down air and Chan watches the redness stain his teeth. He doesn’t stop stroking him until moans turn into pained whines. Felix squishes his cheeks together.
“Chris.”
“Mm?”
“Our friends introduce us. You take me to a picnic on our first date. We share a one bedroom apartment. I make you coffee. You make me pancakes. You write songs about me on papers. I listen to them when I go for a run.”
Chan cums.
//
“If I’m the Sun?” Felix beams.
Chan wonders does he know he already is.
“Then I’m Mercury.”
“If I’m… a flower?”
“I’m a bee.”
“If you like your coffee hot…”
“…let me be your coffee pot.”
“Dust?”
“Vacuum.”
“Oh, oh. What if I’m TikTok?”
Chan snorts. “Then I’m you.”
“Fair.”