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This was what Joker had been anticipating the entire evening. The chance to see Shepard in all of her naked glory, to feel her silky smooth skin against his, to marvel at each curve of her body. The blankets had shifted down around her waist, leaving her exposed to him. It was still strange seeing her without the scars that told her history. Thanks to Cerberus, gone were the marks of Elysium, Akuze, the Battle of the Citadel. He missed them.
His fingers trailed down her back, noting the gooseflesh his touch left behind, until he paused at the curve of her ass, the only part of her body that was unmarked.
“Is it weird that I’ve been looking forward to seeing this again?” He punctuated his words with a gentle slap.
Aurora glanced over her shoulder, blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “Coming from you? Not at all.”
“Come on. Have you seen your ass in jeans?” He mused, running his fingers over her, massaging, teasing… tempting. “I’m not the only one who’s noticed.”
She sat up quicker than he expected, grabbing his hand and pressing kisses to his fingers. His cock twitched in anticipation, fueled by the curl of her lips. “You’re the only one that matters.”
Holy shit, I love her.
She smiled, tracing the fingers on her free hand over his cheekbones, mapping the blush that was barely hidden beneath his freckles and facial hair. It was dark in her cabin, but the orange glow of her clock must’ve been enough to see. “You’re beautiful.”
“Hey, that’s my line.”
He tried to sound indignant, but it came out weak, breathless. He would never tire of the softness in her gaze whenever she looked at him. Or how she would laugh, airy and musical, whenever she liked a particular joke of his. Or the smile she reserved for him, the one that made the dimples in her cheeks appear.
Joker especially loved it when she touched him… gentle but not wary, tracing patterns on his skin where his freckles met, brushing back hair from his eyes when it started to get too long, lingering grazes against his shoulder or his arm when they were in public… things he craved when he was alone.
Thankfully, he wasn’t alone anymore.
“It’s true.” She shifted closer, her fingers tickling his chest as she studied the scars, birthmarks, slight smattering of chest hair. Things she didn’t see as imperfections, but a part of who he was. The same parts she loved about him. It still didn’t make sense at times how someone as wonderful as Shepard felt the same about him as he did her. How could she touch him like this and not recoil in disgust?
Self-doubt was a bitch to get over it seemed.
Joker lifted his hand, brushing his own fingers through the soft blonde locks that he fell in love with so many years ago. She always kept it in a bun during work, but when they were away from the rest of the crew, she let it down and it was… well, he wasn’t a poet or anything, but damn if she wasn’t even more beautiful like this.
She was free from the obligations of her command. She could be Aurora, rather than Shepard.
She could be his.
Emotion welled up in his throat and for a second, he could scarcely breathe. He touched a finger to her mouth, watching as it opened for him. Soft, pink lips that tasted as sweet as honey. He swept his finger over her cheeks, the pink blush there almost as enticing.
“How can you stand it?” He asked into the silence, not really looking for an answer but needing to say the words out loud.
Her eyes met his and she tilted her head slightly, confused by the question. “Stand what?”
God, he wanted to throw his baggage at her feet, let her reassure him and tell him all of the things he wanted to hear… but he couldn’t. That wasn’t her responsibility, but knowing Aurora, she would accept it without complaint.
“Oh, um, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
Aurora laid her hand flat against his chest before pushing gently. He took the hint and rested back against the pillows, watching as she moved to sit over him, one perfect leg on either side of his body. The light might’ve been lacking, but his eyesight certainly wasn’t. Shepard wasn’t as buff as a lot of the other soldiers in the Alliance, her biotics did most of her heavy lifting, but she wasn’t a slouch either.
Easy on the eyes, but when it came to other things, there was definitely some hardness involved.
And his specific brand of hardness was starting to show itself… again.
Swallowing nervously, he watched as she gazed down at him, half bathed in the glow of the aquarium and half from the warm lamp on the desk. Her hair was a shining kaleidoscope of blues and golds reflecting off the blonde. A heart beat passed, then two.
It was on his third when she leaned forward, running her hands over his chest, brushing through the soft hair there before moving to his abdomen. Her skin was warm, but left goosebumps whenever she touched, his desire warring with the embarrassment at being so exposed.
There was an almost unspoken understanding between them. As if she knew where his thoughts had strayed and was trying to prove him wrong about so many things, the first and foremost being what he thought of himself. Or mainly, what he saw when he looked in a mirror.
Joker saw a scrawny guy that had to fight for every scrap of respect he’d earned. A man whose disability dictated his future. A broken body that barely functioned the way it should’ve, the scars showing the painful reality of that. Even with the Cerberus surgeries, the metal rods that allowed him to walk without crutches, he still had trouble dressing without help.
Aurora was his best friend and had been since day one. Ever since the day they’d met, somehow she made him feel like more than his disability, more than his superior piloting skills. She saw someone worth loving and fuck it killed him everytime she looked at him with those sex goddess eyes.
“Tell me what you want.”
Oh, he wanted so many things, but she was too far away and he needed to touch her.
Holding out a hand, he smiled when she entwined her fingers with his. “Come here.”
Aurora moved to lay next to him on the bed, curling against his body, the warmth of her skin electrifying wherever she touched him. She continued her lazy perusal of his stomach, circling his belly button before laying her arm across him, her hand resting on his hip. “Care to spill your deepest, darkest secrets?”
A short laugh erupted from his mouth at the ridiculous question. “I’m pretty sure you know everything about me. Probably more than I do.”
“Hmmm, you’re probably right.” She murmured, her lips trailing from his chin to the corner of his mouth. “Which is why I know you’re holding something back.”
Wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her closer, noting with an ache how her leg draped over his. It was casual, intimate, and he feared that he might start taking these moments for granted. “Is this where you use your feminine wiles to get information out of me?”
She poked him gently. “Hey. You love my feminine wiles.”
Tucking a finger under her chin, he tilted her face so their eyes could meet. She smirked, a teasing grin that always stole his words before he thought them. Thankfully, this time, he already knew what he wanted to say. “I love more than that.”
“I know.” She pressed a soft kiss to his waiting mouth, shifting her body closer, breasts brushing against him. He resisted his body’s immediate response. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I only wanted to give you a choice.”
She was so… good. Everything in the galaxy could be going to shit and there she’d be, trying to make him feel better. Joker didn’t know what he’d done to deserve her, but he wasn’t going to give her up. Never again. The Reapers would have to kill him too because he was fighting for the future, for their future.
Running a hand down her side, he watched with satisfaction as she shivered at his touch. “I didn’t want to bother you with it. Just a bunch of dumb hangups I’ve had for a while.”
She bit her lip, thinking about what he said. “About us?”
“No!” He nearly shouted. She stared at him, blue eyes wide in shock. “Sorry, no it’s nothing like that. It’s…”
He motioned at his body, flinching as she seemed to realize what he meant.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” He felt foolish, they’d been together for a total of two years, but in his mind, he would always be the crippled kid who no one believed could fly. Joker had proven himself a lot over his life, but this was one issue he never dealt with. He turned from her, staring at the model ships in the case across from the bed. She bought one whenever she was on the Citadel. It was another one of the quirks that made her so cute.
The smallest things brought her happiness.
Joker felt her move and for a brief moment, the absence of her body left him hollow and cold. It was insane how easily he desired her, how ingrained she’d become in his heart. She was a fixture in his life that he didn’t know how to let go of. If something happened to her…
He didn’t know how he’d survived those two years after Alchera. He doubted he’d be able to do it again.
“Jeff.”
Like a siren, her voice called to a deeper part of his soul. His eyes found her again, outlined in the glow of the aquarium. She was watching him, legs tucked under her, a softness in her expression that always hit him right in the chest whenever he was a witness to it.
“Do you mind if I touch you?”
She was waiting for… permission ?
“Rori- you don’t have to ask.”
The small upturn of her lips was the only indication that she heard. She settled her hand on his hip, fingers feather light against his skin. It almost tickled as she continued along the curve of his body, resting against his thigh before moving back up, coming to settle on his stomach.
Resting his head back into the pillow, he closed his eyes, allowing the sensations of her touch lull him into a peaceful stupor. She brushed against the softness of his stomach, deviating again to circle around his nipple and back down the other side of his body.
She removed her hand only to replace it with her mouth.
Joker’s eyes shot open. “What’re you-”
Aurora lifted her head and met his confused gaze with a smirk. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No, please… Don’t . I’ll beg if I have to.”
A breathy chuckle left her mouth, hot air brushing across his skin a second before her lips returned to their work. She took a nipple into her mouth and he gripped the sheets beneath his fists, trying to keep from moaning as her tongue flicked out.
He failed.
The moan wouldn’t stay put, beginning quietly before he couldn’t hold it back any longer. It tumbled out of him, proving how weak he was when it came to her.
She smiled against his chest. “Well, hello.”
“You know torture is illegal in Citadel Space, right?”
“I’m only getting started.” She whispered, voice smoky with stardust and unspoken promises. The kind of promises that made his mind spin with the possibilities. Delicious possibilities.
He was bewitched, watching as she peppered soft kisses along his body, pausing to give special attention to scars, the dip of his waist, or the softness of his tummy. Each touch was excruciating perfection, an ocean that he wanted to drown in.
There was a quote that Ashley once told him, months ago, that was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t remember it… Something about wooing… and demons?
No, that couldn’t be it.
Aurora trailed her lips over his hip bone and he froze, sucking in a breath, all attempts at thought thrown out the airlock. He knew the next logical destination for her mouth and the anticipation had his body tingling.
The words burst from him before he could even remember what he wanted to say.
“Look at her. Woo her. I love her and would die for the way she silenced my demons. What bliss.”
Aurora paused, lifting her head from where she’d been so close to the place that begged to be touched. His hands tried to reach for her, but she was no longer hovering over him.
“Did… Did you just quote Gomez Addams? Is that a thing that just happened?”
His eyes flew open, flushing scarlet from head to toe. I’m a fucking idiot.
“I’m trying to be serious here!”
Aurora snorted, her giggles making it hard to breathe. She forced air into her lungs only for it to devolve into another fit.
Grumbling, he sat up, glaring although she didn’t notice it. “Ashley and her fucking poetry. This is all her fault, ya know? She’s corrupted me.”
“You’re so romantic, Jeff.” Aurora teased, finding the ability to speak once more. She crawled across the bed to reach his mouth, kissing him with an enthusiasm he wasn’t expecting. His toes curled as she deepened the contact, one of her hands brushing through his hair before coming to rest on his cheek.
His eyes fluttered open, viridian meeting baby blue, and the sincerity staring back at him almost choked him up again.
“I mean it. It was sweet and romantic and even if it doesn’t seem perfect… it is to me because it came from you .”
He was wrong. Joker wasn’t in love with Aurora Shepard.
Because love wasn’t a strong enough word for what was between them. It went far past that, off the edge of the cliff, well past any known galaxy, lost somewhere among nebulas. He didn’t even know if there was a word for it.
His hands tangled in the silky waves of her hair and he pressed his forehead against hers, kissing her nose just to see the smile he got in response.
“Feel better?”
“Yes.” He said, pressing another kiss to her nose. “But you know what would make me feel even better?”
“Hmm?”
“If you finished what you started with the… uh, kissing?”
Aurora groaned, flopping on the bed before bursting into another fit of giggles, covering her face with her hands. With his eyes on her, he felt lighter, the weight that always held him down finally lifted for the first time in his life.
And his heart danced to the sound of her laughter, a song that only his heart knew.