Chapter Text
Arisu wasn't sure how the hell he had gotten into this situation.
It had become established within their group that they would meet at Chishiya's apartment on weekends, as much as he had protested, the large couch and equally large television had not allowed a discussion, and after good coaxing from Kuina and Arisu, Chishiya had finally relented.
"So, what are we watching today?" Kuinas asked while dropping down next to Chishiya. He just managed to pull his bowl of popcorn to safety before the contents would have landed all over Arisu, who was sitting on the floor in front of him.
"Niragi's turn, ask him yourself."
As if on cue, the latter entered the living room and took the L piece of the couch completely to himself, barely lying down before throwing the DVD case at Usagi, who reflexively caught it and gave him a warning look. But Niragi only grinned arrogantly, and with a sigh, Usagi inserted the DVD and then held the case out to Kuina before sitting down next to Arisu on the floor.
"Final Destination? Why am I not surprised you picked a horror movie?" she mostly asked herself as she read the description on the back before carelessly tossing it to the floor, for which she promptly earned an annoyed look from Chishiya.
"Can you at least try not to completely mess up my apartment?"
Kuinas smiled an effortfully innocent smile, not that it was convincing after all the time they had been friends.
"Are you guys done then?" asked Niragi while impatiently waving the remote control Usagi had given him.
Arisu already knew that the next 94 minutes were going to be the most terrifying in a long time.
To say that Arisu was jumpy was an understatement, he was wincing by almost every minute, so by now Usagi had taken his hand in hers, hoping it would calm Arisu down.
He gave her a grateful smile, but still flinched again and again, examining Chishiya's furniture or even the ceiling at particularly bad parts with great interest.
Just as he put his head slightly back into his neck, he suddenly felt a brief brush through his hair and he tried, without success, to turn his head so that he could see Chishiya, because only he was considered for this gesture.
Arisu, though, was no longer sure whether he had not perhaps imagined this touch.
He had not imagined it.
Again and again, when Arisu had been particularly frightened, Chishiya's fingers slipped through his hair for a tiny moment shortly thereafter, so lightly that Arisu almost didn't notice, but at some point he leaned bravely into the touch.
For a moment he was afraid that Chishiya would stop stroking him because of this, but to Arisu's relief, the slender fingers kept finding their way into Arisu's hair.
Probably he should be wondering why this was happening right now, why Chishiya was seeking actual closeness on his own that wasn't just brief hugs of greeting or goodbye.
Probably it should worry him, but they were barely halfway through the movie and he certainly wasn't going to think up the only distraction that helped him halfway through it.
Nope, there were certainly plenty of times later to worry about Chishiya's unusual behavior.
At some point, Arisu tried a new tactic to avoid looking ahead and instead let his gaze slide scrutinizingly over his other friends.
Chishiya was sitting right behind him, and unless he wanted to turn around conspicuously, he wouldn't be able to catch a glimpse of him. Perhaps that was for the best, if he were to look him in the face at that moment, he would blush so much that any tomato would consider him as competition.
Niragi had stretched out in his seat with an almost happy grin, a nearly empty bowl of popcorn sitting on the cushion between him and Kuina.
Usagi was watching the action on the TV with moderate interest, but she hated it when people were on their mobile phones during the film, and no matter how boring the movie was, she strictly adhered to the ban herself. Arisu admired her self-control, which he absolutely did not have.
Kuina had turned away from Chishiya so that she was now lying with her head towards Niragi and Arisu heard her quietly discussing with him the movie events and the various deaths.
It was amazing that the two had actually managed to form a special friendship with each other.
After all, Niragi's inclusion in the group had been more accidental than intentional and Arisu had feared that it would cause problems, as Niragi's past was heavy stuff.
Arisu had first seen him at Karube's bar.
Karube had groaned in annoyance as soon as Niragi had entered the room, and Arisu suspected that it wasn't the newcomer's first time there.
Up until that point, Arisu had been engrossed in his documents, but the loud bawling made him lift his eyes curiously.
The group that had just headed for the counter where he had been sitting for hours consisted of four people, and Arisu immediately hoped that he would never meet them alone in the dark.
Obviously, the rest of the guests seemed to think so as well, because skeptical, almost fearful glances were cast at the young men again and again.
Laughing loudly and spitefully about something, they ordered their drinks and continued to stand at the counter, much to Arisu's displeasure.
Karube didn't seem to be very pleased either, but he couldn't kick out any guests without a reason.
Arisu continued to watch them for a short moment before he returned to his university duties.
At least he tried, because as soon as he had answered the first question, the group drew his attention again.
"Why the hell are you looking at me like that?"
One of them had stepped forward and stood in front of one of the guests.
Karube promptly looked tense and seemed to already be preparing himself to intervene.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
The man stammered, seeming more than a little intimidated by his much younger counterpart, but the latter even seemed to feast on the fear.
"Niragi. If you want to fight, do it somewhere else."
Karube's voice sounded threatening and Niragi raised his hands in the air, still grinning megalomaniacally.
"All right, all right. I'll be good."
No one else in the room seemed to buy it, but no one dared to say anything either.
Niragi downed his drink and then turned to his companions.
"Let's go have fun somewhere else."
Arisu had a dark premonition as to what exactly this 'fun ' was.
It didn't take long for Arisu to forget about this incident again.
At least until Niragi came into the bar again, while Arisu kept Karube company, this time without work.
"Not him again."
Arisu eyed Niragi, who was without an entourage this time.
He didn't seem quite as eager for a fight this time, though he still didn't seem peaceful. He seemed like a powder keg that could explode at the slightest spark.
But despite everything, Arisu thought he saw something else, even if he couldn't put his finger on it.
With each subsequent encounter, Arisu tried to understand this feeling, but Niragi seemed to be like a puzzle. No matter which pieces you put together, it just didn't add up to a great whole.
His whole demeanor, the way he dealt with people and put himself out there, had spoken against him, he just seemed to set out to scare everyone, to terrify them.
And then Arisu had found him sitting on the ground during a walk in pouring rain. His back against the wall of the house, looking contemptuously at all the people who passed him by.
At that moment, Niragi had definitely aroused Arisu's interest.
Usagi had told him many times that he was just too nice, too good-natured, almost naive for this world.
Arisu was sure that she was absolutely right, but he was like he was.
After all, he studied psychology, and that alone made him realize that things weren't always what they seemed at first sight.
So he had unceremoniously closed his umbrella and sat down silently on the floor next to Niragi.
For almost an hour they sat in silence on the sidewalk. Watched as people hurried and stressed past them. Hardly anyone paid attention to the two at all.
After a short time Arisu was soaked to the bone, but he ignored the unpleasant feeling and just kept waiting, not knowing what for.
Maybe this whole action was stupid, maybe Niragi was also inwardly like he presented himself outwardly.
But Arisu felt this gnawing feeling and it would not rest until he was sure.
Either sure that Niragi was an asshole or sure that there was more behind this facade.
After another half hour, Niragi had finally stood up, looked at Arisu briefly and nodded. Just nodded silently and left again, but still Arisu was sure that this was a first small victory, a small step in the right direction.
Shivering, Arisu got up again and hurried home to warm up in the bathtub.
However, the bath had done nothing against the cold with which he awoke the next morning. But it had been worth it anyway.
Arisu had met Usagi by chance in a collision with her at the university and the friendship between her and Kuina had subsequently brought Chishiya, although rather involuntarily, into the group.
And now these people, with whom he sat on Saturday nights and watched random movies, had become his family. Exactly the kind of family he had always wanted.
Instead of reproaches, help was immediately offered.
More than once Kuina had studied with him, even though she had work of her own, just so he would be ready for the exam the next morning.
Chishiya would almost regularly pick him up by motorcycle when Arisu's stress and pressure froze him and he was unable to ride the subway in a panic.
Being able to clutch the boy you had a crush on tightly during the ride was a good bonus.
In return, Arisu and Kuina made sure Chishiya didn't get lost in the work. Forced him to sleep and take a break every now and then.
Even when he was in the practical year, he lost himself in books, always looking to be even better, to know more.
It was an open secret that this pattern of behavior was Chishiya's father's fault.
Family was generally a sensitive topic, with all of them, but just knowing that one was not alone in this was enough to feel a little better.
Usagi had turned out to be an all-around talent, had a fine sense for people close to her, and often found just the right words.
No one could motivate and build up like she could.
In the end, it was many coincidences that allowed something great to come into being. Unlike the coincidences on the TV screen, which would definitely not lead to a happy ending.
Arisu watched the last two survivors desperately trying to cheat death, squinting his eyes slightly as the car exploded.
And of course, the movie didn't end after the survival, that would have been too good.
Instead, another person had to die.
But at least it was finally over and Arisu had never been so relieved about the credits.
Usagi squeezed his hand one last time before standing up and stretching.
"That was a 5 out of 10 at best."
Niragi shook his head in disappointment, and Kuina also seemed to have come to the same conclusion, as she nodded in agreement.
Arisu really wondered what went wrong with those two.
Gradually, everyone else followed Usagi's example and rose from their seats. Soon there was a general sense of departure.
Niragi and Kuina were the first to say goodbye, while Arisu took his time slipping into his jacket and shoes, trying to delay the time when he had to go out into the night.
Because even the glowing billboards and streetlights did nothing to counteract the paranoia that the film had triggered in him.
Usagi waited patiently at the apartment door for Arisu to finish, wanted to accompany him at least to the subway, although she had to go in a completely different direction.
But it was not only the way home itself, of which he was afraid. The view of being alone in his apartment wasn't exactly exhilarating either.
"Chishya?"
The addressed had begun neatly folding the blanket back up and stowing it in its original place, now looking at Arisu with a questioningly raised eyebrow.
"Can I maybe sleep on your couch tonight? I'd go to Usagi's, but she's getting a visit from her dad tomorrow morning. But probably that was a stupid idea, just forget I asked and-"
"Arisu."
Chishiya lifted a corner of his mouth in amusement and nodded slightly towards the couch that had just been rearranged.
Arisu exhaled in relief and turned to Usagi, who had obviously heard the conversation clearly, because she came up to Arisu and placed a hand on his forearm with a smile.
"I'll see you Monday then, text me tomorrow so I can make sure you're alive."
"Ha-ha."
She chuckled and waved goodbye in Chishiya's direction, who merely nodded at her.
As soon as the door slammed shut behind her, Arisu felt that kind of nervousness again that came along with damn butterflies in his stomach.
He turned back to Chishiya, who was laying a pillow and a bedspread on the couch.
It wasn't the first time he'd slept on Chishiya's couch, it had happened more than once that evenings would get so long that Arisu would just fall asleep and only wake up the next morning with a blanket laid over him.
They had never talked about it, almost as if it was a silent agreement between them.
But this time he was awake and allowed to stay anyway, and that fact felt special somehow. Until the reason for his staying came back to him and a shiver ran down his spine.
The darkness was suffocating and Arisu imagined shadows that weren't there, the light dripping of the faucet made his body shiver.
He would have had less of a problem with bloody blunt killing, it still wasn't pleasant, but anything was better than this damn movie.
The next time they would watch a Disney movie they definitely would, luckily it was actually Arisu's turn to choose.
Restless, he turned over again on the sofa, his fingers clutching the blanket so hard that his knuckles stood out white. In his mind, he banished every knife from his small kitchen, just for to be sure.
Sighing, Arisu turned again, trying once more to distract himself with fond memories and thoughts, but it didn't work at all anymore, still he perceived every creak, every slightest noise deafeningly loud.
Frustrated, he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, forced himself to take a deep breath at the next sound, and was only more startled when a hand suddenly came to rest on his shoulders.
Only with difficulty he could suppress a scream, sat up frantically and only when Chishiya switched on the small side lamp, the racing heart subsided very slowly.
"Damn, you scared me!"
Arisu slowly lowered the hand he had pressed over his heart and looked reproachfully at Chishiya.
The bleach blond boy merely commented on Arisu's reproach with a raised eyebrow.
"Why are you still awake?"
Arisu wrapped the blanket that had fallen to the floor when he sat up around his shoulders like a cloak, forgetting for a brief moment even what had kept him from falling asleep until now, all his attention focused on Chishiya.
"I can hear your thoughts all the way to the bedroom."
Guiltily, Arisu lowered his head, making himself small, as if he was just waiting for Chishiya to yell at him at any moment. The latter's gaze softened and he unceremoniously pulled the blanket off Arisu's shoulders and walked back toward the bedroom with it, but when the footsteps failed to come from behind him, he turned back to Arisu, glaring at him promptly.
"Are you coming?"
Arisu felt his heart begin to beat faster and he suddenly wasn't sure if he had heard Chishiya correctly, but the fact that he still stood waiting in the doorway to the bedroom removed at least some doubt and he bridged the distance between them, albeit slowly and hesitantly.
If this was all a dream, he wanted to sleep on as long as possible.
Sleeping on Chishiya's couch was already something special, but in his bed?
But Arisu would be an idiot not to accept this probably unique offer.
Chishiya's bed was large, so large that they could lie side by side without even slightly touching each other.
Arisu's blanket had been carelessly placed by Chishiya on a chair next to the closet, as if he was convinced Arisu wouldn't need it.
Chishiya had gone back to lying under the covers on one side of the bed, while Arisu still stood in the middle of the room as if ordered and not picked up.
"Arisu. Lie down already."
Arisu's fingers twitched, but he left the thin blanket where it was and slipped under the same blanket as Chishiya on the free side of the bed. And even though the blanket was as large as the whole damn bed, this moment, this situation felt strangely intimate.
The same bed, the same blanket, and the guy Arisu had felt a crush on since their first meeting right next to him.
Arisu didn't know if fate wanted to punish or reward him.
"If you don't finally stop brooding, I'll suffocate you myself with my pillow. I know the best way to make bodies disappear, so I wouldn't push it."
"I'm kind of more taken by this movie than I thought I would be, I thought of at least 30 scenarios of how I could 'accidentally' die in the last 15 minutes alone. So it's not so easy to stop thinking."
Arisu grumbled the words rather than actually saying them, and he only with difficulty resisted the impulse to cross his arms petulantly in front of his chest.
"Statistically, more fatal accidents happen in your own home than in normal traffic."
"Not helpful, Chishiya."
Arisu heard the soft rustle of the bedspread and suspected that Chishiya had turned toward him, but he did not remove his gaze from the ceiling to check.
Chishiya's bedroom was located more along the street than the living room, so streetlights bathed the room in an unpleasant cold white and the thick curtains next to the window made Arisu suspect that normally Chishiya slept entirely in the dark, and he was more than grateful that this night was obviously an exception to the routine.
"Even more possible, though, is that I'll make good on my threat."
Now Arisu turned to the side as well and looked directly into Chishiya's eyes, as he had already expected.
"At least there I know what to expect and can prepare myself mentally."
His statement elicited an amused snort from Chishiya, and promptly Arisu felt proud to have elicited that sound from the usually reserved Chishiya.
Although he had gradually thawed out in their strangely mixed group, he only allowed himself to show his feelings so openly with a few people and only at certain moments.
Arisu liked the idea that perhaps, at least at that very moment, he was someone special. Someone Chishiya trusted enough to show that side of himself.
Someone who was different from everyone else.
Arisu forced himself to quickly forget that thought, for it would be followed involuntarily by feelings and hopes that would only end up breaking his heart.
Yes, maybe they were close, but the closeness Airsu craved so much was utopian.
Before he could sink further into his thoughts, something suddenly hit him in the face, making him gasp in fright, though this was hardly possible given the fabric of the pillow on his face.
He pushed the pillow off of him and looked indignantly at Chishiya, who looked at him with a slight smirk as well.
"What was that all about?"
"A taste."
"Okay, this means war."
Arisu first threw Chishiya's pillow back before clutching his own with his fingers and going for the first punch, but once again Chishiya was faster and once again Arisu's face made acquaintance with the other's pillow.
Now he actually heard Chishiya laughing, but that quickly faded as Arisu in turn started to attack.
However, he only hit Chishiya's back, because he had seen the blow coming and ducked in time.
A few attacks later, the battlefield was no longer limited to the bed, but had spread to the entire room.
The fact that Arisu was a bit taller than Chishiya helped him less than he had hoped, because Chishiya was a lot more agile than Arisu himself and the latter had at some point rested his hands on his thighs, breathing heavily, the pillow lying on the floor next to him.
"I surrender. I definitely can't win this war."
Grinning, Arisu straightened up again and looked to Chishiya, whose hair looked quite mussed, Arisu harbored a strong suspicion that his own didn't look any better. He enjoyed seeing Chishiya completely detached for the first time. If Arisu hadn't already been in love with him, at this sight it would have happened.
With a triumphant smile, Chishiya threw his pillow back on the bed and straightened his slipped sleeping clothes.
Arisu also grabbed his pillow and stuffed it under his head as soon as he was back on the mattress.
When Chishiya also got back into bed, Arisu's breath caught for a moment, because this time the bleach blond boy was definitely much closer to Arisu, so close that he would have only had to slightly reach out to touch him.
Damn, Chishiya always knew exactly what he was doing, and yet he had moved closer to Arisu.
Arisu bit his tongue not to ask, because this moment was too fragile, like a soap bubble that could be destroyed by even the slightest breeze and that you wanted to protect as long as possible to enjoy the sight of it.
It took some effort to force his tense muscles to loosen and even more to not unceremoniously snuggle up to Chishiya's back, holding him tight and never letting go.
Arisu felt a pleasant emptiness spread through him and he actually felt like he could fall asleep and so he humbly closed his eyes, concentrated as best he could on the body next to him and within a few minutes he was asleep.
The first thing he noticed as soon as he woke up was the glaring sunlight illuminating the room.
Grumbling, he pressed his face more into the fabric of his pillow to escape it.
It took him a few seconds to suddenly realize that pillows didn't normally breathe.
His eyes widened in shock and only now did he realize that someone was in his arms.
He lifted his head slightly to make sure it was indeed Chishiya before allowing himself to take a closer look at the situation.
His arms had literally wrapped possessively around his friend's slender body as he slept, Arisu's one palm resting on Chishiya's stomach, the other on his chest, almost directly above his heart, and had Arisu concentrated on that, he surely could have counted every beat.
But it wasn't just him who seemed to have taken a liking to this position, because Chishiya's fingers were tightly intertwined with Arisu's, which rested on his stomach, holding him in place and preventing him from breaking their physical contact again.
Experimentally, he tried to withdraw his hand, but the pressure intensified, thwarting any further attempt.
A smile crept onto Arisu's lips and absentmindedly he squeezed lightly, only to freeze when that pressure was applied again, almost in response.
Arisu felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest at any moment.
To confirm his theory, he forced himself to consciously listen to Chishiya's heartbeats.
Yes, definitely no longer asleep.
But before Arisu could panic, Chishiya nestled ever so slightly against his chest, stroking his thumb over Arisu's, almost as if to tell him that it was okay, that this moment between them was okay.
Arisu put everything on one card as he unceremoniously buried his face in Chishiya's hair and tightened the pressure of his arms a bit.
This moment belonged only to them, and Arisu knew instinctively that it would play out just like it did every night on the couch. As soon as they got up, it would be as if none of this had happened and they wouldn't talk about it.
But that was okay, because Arisu had never dreamed of ever being able to get this close to Chishiya.
And there would be many movie nights to come, after all, and perhaps he would encourage Niragi to watch the entire movie series with them.