Chapter Text
Someone called his name, "Kim Dokja," in the most loving and caring voice he had ever heard. The boy, on the other hand, is most likely dreaming. Nobody cared about him, at least not when he was awake. "How come your hair is so soft, Kim Dokja?" The boy's voice was now lightly laughing, a warm feeling wrapping around him. That sensation was similar to only one person's embrace. Unfortunately, he had lost touch with that person a long time ago. Even if they were still together, the young boy would never feel the same way again. He knew he was dreaming, but he wasn't in the mood to wake up. It wasn't all that bad here. It was better than the majority of his life.
The warm sensation was leaving him once more. Despite his desire to reach the feeling, the boy resists the urge. He was aware. He knew that no matter how many times he did it, it would only hurt him more. The young boy is exhausted. He made a promise to himself. He made a promise to him. It's better for everyone; it'll hurt, but it wasn't the first time something has hurt this badly.
He heard a voice calling him as soon as the feeling left. He could recognize that voice anywhere, at any time or place, no matter how many lifetimes passed. "Hey Kim Dokja," a girl with a bob haircut said. "Wake up, you squid; class is about to begin." Even though she didn't appear to care, he knew deep down there, under many lemon lollipops, that she did. "Thank you for waking me up, Han Sooyoung," the boy leaning over his seat corrected himself.
Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung were seniors in the same high school. Aside from the two of them, they had a couple more friends who, sadly, did not end up in class with them. "It's too bad the rest of the group couldn't make it," said the girl, crunching a lollipop in her mouth. "Apart from the two of us, only Yoo Sangah and Yoo Joonghyuk remained, but he'll be late. Yoo Mia starts preschool today, so he'll take her there first before coming here."
Joonghyuk Yoo, Kim Dokja's childhood friend. They had known each other for a long time. They were like a family. Only in the latter's eyes anyway.
"Hey, I heard Lee Seolhwa is in our class" someone behind them said. "Yeah, I hope so" he said, "Not only she's beautiful, but smart and kind to everyone. It feels so good just being around her".
Oh. That's right. We have protagonist, best friends and now love interest. It's their story anyway, though. He knew there wasn't enough room for second love interest. Even then, this story have only one ending. He's not in it.
Bell was heard. First yet last time. For them at least. After finishing this year, all of their suffering will come to end. His suffering. It wasn't so bad, either.
And the young reader was daydreaming as time passed slowly as it could. That was the only option left for him. His own salvation. His own little universe. Nobody was picking up on him there, his parents loved him, and his friends were there. Unfortunately, he was interrupted in the middle. None other than the person he loved the most. One that would probably showed him his own end. He was reaching for him even then, but not anymore. Everything comes to a halt now. Everything in this damned world has an end, and his salvation was no exception.
Tall, strong-built man with a wide back that had been shielding him until now. Black looks faltering above his thick dark brows. His sharp golden eyes, lethal on the outside but loving on the inside. There is he. The only one. Kim Dokja's loved one. They had known each other for a long time. They ate, played, and even cried together, but they will never be together. Not as more than friends, at least. He was fine being by his side, no matter how much it hurt. It was enough.
Something happened while Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung were waiting for Yoo Joonghyuk to come and sit next to them. He stopped next to Lee Seolhwa. After couple of minutes, the two of them sat down together. Without even looking in this direction or saying anything. The trio was taken aback. Han Sooyoung just stared at him, confused. "Yoo Joonghyuk, you son of a bitch-" before she could finish, Yoo Sangah placed her hand over her mouth and stopped her. "Stop, the teacher is here."
The shorter one huffed angrily before sitting down. Despite what she said, Yoo Sangah wanted to punch Yoo Joonghyuk. He abandoned them on the first day of school? What kind of companion does that? He could at least discuss it with them. Or simply say hi? More than anything, he left Dokja alone, staring at his wide back, unable to process what had just happened. Why? I mean, I get why she was brilliant, but just like that? So easily? Was it all over? Was the possibility of falling in love with that man no longer exciting to him? Kim Dokja was blinking slowly as if time had stopped, watching everything occur in slow motion.
Their classmates were chatting, the two of them were laughing, and Han Sooyoung and Yoo Sangah were discussing something. He was nausea. Was it really that nice to have someone as amazing as her next to you? Nothing ever changed, no matter how hard he tried. Everyone would abandon him sooner or later. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to his childhood crush. No, not yet. The nausea in the reader's stomach increased, as his mind began to race. He didn't mind seeing Yoo Joonghyuk happy, no matter who he was with . But why.... why was it so painful? He knew he couldn't compete with Lee Seolhwa. She was amazing, kind, and smart, along with many other good features. But what about him? He was and will always be a murderer's son. They couldn't stand up to each other.
When the teacher arrived, the students sat down. Kim Dokja was still dazed. His stomach hurt and he got chills. "All right, everyone, settle down," the teacher said. They continued their lecture, but someone knocked on the door. It was Song Minwoo arriving late, as usual. He made an excuse, as he regularly does, but the teacher simply shushed him and told him to sit down. The only problem was that there were no more seats available. Except for one. Right next to Kim Dokja . The male smirked, a knowing he'd have a good time messing around with Dokja. He didn't even notice unitil the bigger male slammed himself down on a chair. The entire time, Song Minwoo was picking on Dokja. Taking his belongings, breaking his pens and so on.
Han Sooyoung and Yoo Sangah were worried about their friend, but they couldn't do anything as the teacher didn't seem to care.
Fast forward to the end of the class.
Song Minwoo shoved Kim Dokja aside, causing him to fall down, hard. Han Sooyoung wanted to fight him, but he just walked away, not giving a fuck. Yoo Sangah assisted him in getting up. "Are you okay, Dokja-ssi?" she worriedly questioned. "Yeah, thank you Sangah-ssi, I'm just little bit of sick". As he said it, Dokja started coughing and scurried away, picking up his belongings.
He felt something heavy grow in his throat as he ran to the bathroom. The reader was becoming increasingly ill, wondering if he would make it to the bathroom in time.Fortunately he did. And as soon as he did so, he knelt over the toilet, coughing out in agony, feeling tears in corners of his eyes. Whatever was in his throat, it was preventing him from breathing. Cold sweat covered his forehead, his skin losing it's color. Dokja was having a panic attack, lack of breath making his head go dizzy.
Million thoughts overlapped his head, as buzzing in his ear grew louder. He cough hard, spitting out something wet. He felt relief, breathing in, as buzzing got quieter. Headache was still there, but he was now less dizzy. When he thought it couldn't get worse, it did. Coughs were back and even more painful, except this time, when his saw what he coughed out Dokja froze. Buzzing was heard again.
It was purple hyacinth. At that moment Dokja knew. Hanahaki disease.
And he could assume for who it was. He knew that his feelings were stronger than what he have originally though. He knew that Yoo Joonghyuk was something more than a friend. And Dokja hoped that this would simply go away. Will it?