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English
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Part 15 of Sharing Toothpaste
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Published:
2012-06-29
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1,168
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1/1
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23
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Letting Go of the Lie

Summary:

Molly breaks up with Jim.

Work Text:

She could tell Jim was pleased about something. She wasn't sure what yet, but that pleasure at the situation is why she had to end it. She really did like Jim. He would wrap his arms around her and she could just feel that absolutely nothing in the world could touch her, or harm her. He made her laugh, he told her jokes, he spoke to her like a human being instead of a piece of lab equipment. But it always seemed like a lie. She finally was willing to let the lie go.

"You gave him your phone number," she said. He was still smiling. She wondered if she sounded how she felt: resigned.

"Oh come on," Jim said, tweaking her nose. "It's just for fun. I wanted to see what he'd notice," he said.

"He noticed," Molly said. "He thinks you're gay."

"Yeah, that was the point. Doesn't he just observe beautifully," Jim said.

"Jim, I don't think this is going to work," she said.

"What isn't?" Jim asked. "He obviously bought it."

"Not that," Molly said. "Jim, I'm breaking up with you."

"Excuse me?" he asked, the dark voice he tried so hard not to use around coming out. That dark voice always intrigued her though. It was part of the reason why she knew the lie couldn't go on any longer.

"I'm breaking up with you," she said.

"Is this where you give me the 'it's not you, it's me speech'?" He joked. He clearly didn't realize how serious she was.

"No, it is you," Molly said. That seemed to stump him. She didn't smirk, but she wanted to. She could never stump him, ever. He was so clever. "Jim… you're wonderful, exactly what I would like in a boyfriend… but it feels like you're just playing up to what I want. I knew you weren't who you pretended to be from the first time I met you… but I didn't realize just how much of a lie it was until now… I liked the lie," she admitted.

"You're breaking up with me because I'm giving you exactly what you want?" He asked, his voice very blank. That voice made her shiver. It terrified her, but how she wanted to hear more of it.

"Basically, yes," she said, forcing herself to remain strong.

"You're insane, Hooper," he said. His voice sounded like what she imagined a dead man would sound like. She visibly shivered at the sound.

"I don't want to date an act. I want to date you, Jim," she said.

"No you don't," Jim said, again in the dead man voice.

"No, I do," she said, letting her voice dip into sympathy. She instantly regretted it.

"Don't talk down to me Hooper. I appreciate it even less than you do. The difference is that I don't tend to hide my displeasure," he purred. She shivered again, but this time it wasn't fear. In his voice and his eyes was that power she felt when she was in his arms. When she let her mind wander, she thought that the feeling was like he was the only safe place in the world. Nothing could get to her in his arms… but only because he was more dangerous than any man she would ever meet again in her life.

She reached up, no longer thinking. Her hands rested on Jim's shoulders and she bent down just a bit (she was taller than him in her heels) and kissed him. They didn't kiss often. They hadn't slept together at all. It was a slow, easy relationship. Their kisses were sweet and gentle, the kisses Jim from IT would give her. The kiss she stole from him was nothing like that. It was hungry and longing and much more powerful than Jim from IT could take.

But Jim Moriarty wasn't Jim from IT. She was never more sure of that then when she felt him take control of the kiss instantly. His hands played down her spine and sides. Any little touch and she'd move or moan exactly as he wanted. It was like he'd already had her body a hundred times over. His hands instantly seeked her most sensitive spots, some spots she didn't even know she had. He controlled her completely, and she surrendered instantly.

They broke apart after a moment, both breathing a bit harder than before, though neither were inexperienced school children who couldn't figure out how to breathe through their nose. "Is that what you want from me?" Jim asked, a sneer on his lips.

"More," Molly said. "More, everything."

"You're very selfish today, aren't you?" He asked, smirking. He'd changed her, he was gloating about that. She could see it. Jim from IT always told her to be more selfish, to ask for what she wanted. Jim Moriarty forced her to try and take what she wanted. She didn't mind. She liked the her that could yell at Sherlock Holmes.

"I learned from the best," she said softly. She took a step back.

"Where are you going?" Jim asked.

"I told you… I'm breaking up with you," she said.

"And you kissed me because you don't want me anymore." Jim's tone just exuded sarcasm.

"It's a goodbye kiss… because if our first kiss or any other one before hat had been even a little bit like that, then it wouldn't have been a goodbye kiss," Molly said. This strength in her body, this was what he'd pushed into her. He couldn't stand that she was weak, that she wasn't good enough yet when he found her. "I'm not going to date a man who lies about who he is. I'd rather have Sherlock look down on me forever than live with someone who didn't think he could be himself with me. At least Sherlock is honest about what he wants."

"You're picking Sherlock Holmes?" Jim asked. There was that dead man tone again.

"I'm picking myself," Molly said. She smiled at him sadly, cocking her head to one side. "I'm sorry."

"You are going to be," he said. It sounded like a promise, like a piece of prophesying. "No one walks away from me, not like this."

"First time for everything," she said. "This is my first time breaking up with someone. It'll be a learning experience for us both."

"I'm being serious."

"So am I," Molly said. She leaned in, going on her toes to kiss Jim's forehead. "I liked it best when you held me," she said softly. She backed away from him before turning and walking out. She didn't say goodbye. She walked back to the autopsy room. She was proud of herself.

She slipped into work mode, noting to mourn once she got home. She would cry. She'd cry and wail and sob and hug onto her cat until she felt better. Jim actually looked at her, something she got so rarely. She just… she had more self respect than to live with such a liar.

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