Chapter Text
"It's been a long day you guys, so go shower up and go home." Captain Meian laughed out to his teammates.
It really was a long day. Atsumu was almost caught. He caught himself in another episode late last night, he broke another mirror with his hand out of anger. He hates his episodes, he hates his reflection, he hates himself. So, it really was no surprise when he broke it, but his teammates were really worried, I mean broken skin and a scratched-up hand can make someone worried. But he just shrugged it off as he said he worked out to hard late last night.
"Miya, Sakusa. Before you all go home, just remember it is yall turn to clean up so have fun!" Inunaki yelled at, getting Atsumu out of his Dissociating mind.
"Hai, now go away Inu-kun, I'm sure you have a small bed to take care of." Atsumu sarcastically announced, making fun of Inunaki's height.
"HEY, IM NOT THAT SHORT MIYA!" He yelled out as Atsumu chuckled in a way as saying sure. Atsumu rolled his eyes as he got his bag taken care of before he took his sweaty and wet gym clothes off. After everyone left, he started changing. He moved to the shower where Sakusa was, probably doing his hair so he didn't get his new clothes wet from his curls. Atsumu loves his curls, how they bounced when he jumped to spiked, or how they looked in a ponytail, or how they look so soft. God he just wants to run his hand through those soft curls of Sakusa's, but how he hates noting he can't.
After his shower, Atsumu changed into some joggers and a nice not that tight bit tight enough to show his figure shirt. It hugged at his waist and chest. Two of his best features. Coming in close to his thighs. He takes diligent care of his body. He loves his body, but oh how he hates it at the same time. How he feels so fat but skinny. His abs are big, but not as big as most of the others. Or how his waist makes him look like a girl. I mean who else has an hourglass body like him. He hates it, but he loves it at the same time, he loves how he can imagine Sakusa's large hand curved into his waist holding him tight. Or how he loves when he catches Sakusa staring at his body when he waist tight clothing like he is right now. He loves all the attention but hates it at the same time. How was he supposed to love it when he knows he can't have Sakusa. Sakusa was straight, he didn't like how he thinks he can have him when he knows he can't.
Atsumu was just standing in front of his locker with dull eyes, bottom lip bitten, and dissociating once again.
"Miya, you good?" He hears a voice come up from behind him. It's Sakusa's deep voice. It rang in his ears as he puts his mask on once more, and only once forever the rest of the night. He turns around and shows Sakusa the biggest smile he has worn today.
"Perfec'ly fine, Omi, why ya worried?" Atsumu eyed Sakusa as his thick accent comes out in his beautiful high voice. It was wonderful, like a perfect thunderstorm and rain coming from outside. It was perfect. Perfect for Sakusa’s ears. He loves Atsumu's accent, his voice, his body, his personality, everything he sees when he notices Atsumu. Atsumu makes him happy, and he just wants to tell him, but how is he supposed to. He never had a good relationship before. They called him to clingy and obnoxious; he can’t let Atsumu run from him, he knows he can’t mess this one up. Sakusa just scowled and walked past Atsumu towards his own locker.
"Of course not. Just get to cleaning or leave Miya." He says as he walked out of the locker room and goes towards the storage room. Atsumu follows him in an apologetic manner. He doesn't know why he was doing it. He didn't have a reason to be sorry. He just was. The was Sakusa sounded annoyed just had him thinking he did something he hates his brain. He hates his way of saying something that is upsetting to Sakusa.
Sakusa hands him a broom as he gets the net down from the poles. He started by untying rope that is inside the pole holes. As he was doing that, he couldn't help but advert his eyes on Atsumu.
Atsumu was facing behind him. Sakusa staring and studying his movements. Atsumu's hips swayed a little to the way he swept. The tip of his tongue was poking out if his mouth in concentration. He was sweeping and damn it, Sakusa couldn't even lie. Atsumu looked absolutely beautiful in Sakusa's eyes. The way his golden hair was shining from the sunset outside. How his shirt made him look. His eyes full of concentration and approval after he was done sweeping in an area. It was breath taken to Sakusa. If anyone saw how Sakusa looked at Atsumu, you could tell he's inlove with Atsumu. He just doesn't know how to show it. So, he decides to be mean. To him it's better than being proving he is to clingy and just annoying in every relationship. I mean come on. He's loved Atsumu since high school. Ever since he say his piss-blond hair, his obnoxious and narcissistic character traits, and the way he looks as he plays volleyball. It's incredible. Loving someone you barely talked to in high school. If he was being honest. He mostly only joined MSBY to get the chance to see Atsumu in shorts again and man is it rewarding to Sakusa.
"Omi, 'M done sweppin." Atsumu yelled out to Sakusa. "'M gonna take my leave now, have fun doing it all by yerself." He walked out of the gym with his gym bag and Sakusa's heart once more just like every other time he has walked out of the gym, training center, and even their team bonding sessions.
'God damn it. Missed my chance again. Better luck next time I guess.' Sakusa thought to himself. Ypu see Sakusa produced a plan. Every time when he and Atsumu were alone he would confess how lucky he is to be dating him, but instead of doing that he usually just get distracted by Atsumu. It's crazy what Atsumu does to him.
As Atsumu walked out, his smile suddenly faded, and eyes became dull like earlier. It's a good thing for him that his car got fixed so no more bus rides for him. He hates public transportation nowadays. He used to love it because he had his brother to bother, and he had the pressure to wear the mask, but now, no motivation to do anything. It's been away since he has smiled truthfully in a really while. He wants to but it's simply hard. He just hasn't had the time to do most of anything he likes. He wants to hang out with his brother more, eat his brother's amazing cooking, even if his petty self won't let him admit it, and he just wants to get the world off his chest, for even one night. Practice day and night for him. He can barely sleep with the recurring nightmares and depression. So, he runs. Runs for miles and miles. He runs till he can feel himself and legs give out. That's when he turns around and runs back. Sure, he has almost passed out but it's better than seeing his face again. Than reliving his past. He doesn't like that it's coming back. Hell, who would.
He unlocked his car, getting in and just siting there for a moment or two. He needs a break. So, he closes the car door and turns up his music. Sad, happy, J-pop, heavy metal, whatever it is he screams as loud as he can while driving. It’s a good thing he doesn't live too far away. He picked this habit up from the first time he screamed and cried in his car. It was when he was with a family reunion. For the first time he actually decided to go for one and after that night he agreed to never go to another family thing every again. He will only spend time together with Osamu, Sunarin, and his little cousin, Yachi Hitoka, and her fiancé Kanoko. He remembers because that was one of the only times, he was jealous. His little baby cousin was getting married before he even had a good relationship. He saw how a lot of others there were with a significant other. Osamu and Sauna, Yachi and Kanoko, his aunt and uncle, he felt alone and pathetic. He wanted something like that, but how could be like that when he knows that if he dates someone, they would’ve only wanted his body. I mean, that is what his mother has said ever since he had fully developed into his body. It made him feel worthless and dirty. So, he has never had a relationship before.
He arrived at his home. Got out and started walking to his place. He got his keys out of his pocket, but before he could unlock it, it opened all by itself. Someone was in his home. He was I shock. He put all of his keys in between his fingers as a weapon. He ran in to see Hitoka and Kanoko in the kitchen. His face read as 'why are you here, what's your purpose'.
"SUPRISE!!" Yachi yelled out. "I knew I should've called but I just wanted to see that weird look on your face that I love to much!" Yachi walked up and hugged him. It was a warm hug. A comforting hug.
"Great news so come sit down, now. Now!"