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"the leaves keep falling off."
"what?" joshua asks, turning around.
"look. minghao's pepper plant. the leaves keep falling off, and i don't know why, hyung," junhui sulks. joshua goes over and crouches beside junhui on the ground by the window.
"it doesn't look like it's dying," joshua says. he moves a branch away to look at the long peppers hidden amongst the leaves, and they look as red and healthy as usual.
"don't touch it!" junhui scolds, elbowing him when two more wilted leaves fall onto the soil.
"jun-ah, just because the leaves are falling doesn't mean it's dying. this just happens with plants sometimes," the older assures, squeezing junhui's shoulder.
"really?" junhui asks with wide eyes. the sun flitting through the blinds shines in them, and joshua swallows hard before nodding. he is lying through his teeth. he knows as little—maybe even less—about plants as junhui does, but junhui doesn't know that. he probably thinks joshua is as much of an urban gardening connoisseur as minghao with the amount of bullshit he's been spouting for the past week.
"have you watered the tulips already?" joshua asks. junhui's brows furrow before he shoots up with the cat-shaped watering can in hand, cold water sloshing onto joshua's sweatpants.
the younger runs over to the kitchen window sill where blooming pink tulips are planted in a pot painted an ugly shade of yellow. they are the one thing in the apartment that doesn't match the moody interior minghao meticulously designed, but it was junhui's work. and joshua knows junhui's boyfriend has never been very good at saying no to him.
"are any of these plants even yours? i feel like all 30 of them are hao's," joshua says, laying back on the emerald couch. "and shouldn't you know more about watering the plants your boyfriend has been taking care of for over a year?"
"okay, first of all, there's only 27 of them," junhui says, putting a hand on his hip. "second of all, the cacti and bamboo are mine. and before you say anything, i know they're the easiest to take care of. it doesn't change the fact that they're my babies," junhui huffs. joshua stifles a laugh in order to allow junhui to continue his monologue. "and lastly, he always waters his plants at 6am and you know i hate being awake before sunrise."
"ah, yes, i'm so sorry. how could i have ever forgotten about our sleeping beauty?" joshua teases, rolling his eyes.
the nickname hasn't slipped off his tongue in years. it was what he had always called junhui back when they were roommates, from freshman year of college in seoul to graduating and moving to los angeles. but then junhui met minghao. minghao, who was handsome, kind, spoke the same tongue, and most importantly, willing to say what joshua was too afraid to.
they fell in love. junhui moved out. and joshua lost all the rights to come up with cute nicknames for junhui.
"that's not fair," junhui pouts, cheeks pinker than before. "my sleep schedule is better than when we lived together."
"sure, sure, whatever you say," joshua laughs, flopping over the armrest and giving junhui a cheeky smile when the younger holds the watering can above his head menacingly.
"i should kick you out," junhui jokes. joshua turns away as junhui approaches an aloe plant in the corner. he chews on his bottom lip to stop himself from agreeing, from telling junhui that if he did, it would be for the better. no more blurred lines, no more wondering why minghao is okay with them being alone as junhui invites him over for the eighth day in a row.
"why did he have to go again?" joshua asks, sinking his nails into the cushion beside him.
junhui walks back over and pokes him in the forehead. "photoshoot in shanghai, remember? don't you remember how nervous he was about it during dinner two weeks ago?"
"oh yeah. his first international one." joshua does remember. he, junhui, and minghao at a rounded table for a candlelit meal far too romantic for a couple and one of their friends. he recalls minghao's fingers skimming over the back of his hand and a look shared he tries hard not to think about; a promise of a souvenir he knows he will stare at too often like the polka dot mug junhui left in their cupboard.
"he called me last night, after you left," junhui tells him, sitting down. their shoulders touch and junhui's head lolls onto joshua's shoulders like it's second nature.
"really? what did he say?"
"he said work is going well," junhui says. "and he visited his parents. they're doing good too."
"have you ever met them?" joshua asks, trying to ignore the way junhui's hand inches closer to his.
"no, but i've seen them over video call," junhui answers. "they're sweet. you'd like them."
"why does it matter if i like them?" joshua laughs, stifled.
junhui goes silent. he flips joshua's hand between them and begins to write english letters with his pointer finger in his palm.
"what else did minghao tell you?" joshua says, preventing the silence he doesn't want to endure.
"he told me he misses me, and that i better be taking good care of his plants. i told him you're helping so they'll be fine." joshua doesn't know if visiting their apartment every day, eating dinner with his boyfriend, and lying about plant facts constitutes "helping," but he chooses not to speak on it.
"that's nice. i'm glad he's having a good time there." junhui makes a dissatisfied noise and then leans back to barely meet joshua's gaze.
"we said other things about you too. and then he got mad at me." the finger running along his palm stops.
joshua freezes as junhui's eyes burn into his head. he can imagine what was said. minghao telling junhui that his close friendship with joshua is weird. how the fact he is in their home with him alone is strange. how he has noticed that joshua looks at junhui too fondly. how he may have caught joshua looking at him the same way too.
"really?" joshua questions, choked. "why is that?"
"he basically told me if i don't do anything about our relationship he's going to break up with me." junhui says, as casual as when he announced he was making them tofu stew for dinner that night.
"what do you mean? 'our?'" joshua hopes he's not hearing wrong. junhui has been banned from playing pranks on him since he accidentally shaved off part of his eyebrow junior year. now isn't a good time to start them again.
"as in you, me, and hao. the three of us." junhui finally shows a hint of nervousness, hesitating before he intertwines their fingers together. joshua thinks his hand must be sweaty, but junhui has never cared.
"i don't understand," joshua says, simply.
"you know, i was kind of in love with you, like all of college," junhui confesses, and joshua feels his world tilt on its axis. a timeline forms in his head where he thinks about how if he kissed junhui at their graduation party two years ago, he wouldn't be sitting on a green leather couch in wet sweatpants.
"what?" is all he can muster.
"do you really think i would have moved to a city, no, a continent, i wasn't familiar with and didn't know the language of for someone i didn't want to spend my life with? god, weren't you top of our class?" junhui laughs as joshua feels his cheeks heat up.
"but you, you didn't say anything," joshua says. junhui's brows furrow, and then he's laughing with his head thrown back while squeezing joshua's hand tight.
"you don't remember?" junhui asks in disbelief. joshua shakes his head and junhui groans in frustration. "you told me you were sober!" junhui frowns. "seriously? the first month after we moved here."
joshua's mouth is bone dry as he tells junhui all he can remember is going to a fancy chinese restaurant with their friends and then falling asleep after someone tucked him into bed.
"i told you i was in love with you," junhui chuckles, seeming to still find the situation hilarious. "and you told me you would answer me when you were less tired, and then..." junhui's face falls for only a second before smiling gently again. "and then you never did."
"jun..."
"it's okay. well, not really because you made me sad," junhui says, shrugging. "but i should've brought it up again before trying to move on from you."
junhui stands with both hands on his hips and leans down to meet joshua's eye level.
"you're lucky i met minghao. he told me you like me and i didn't believe him at first," junhui says with a smug look.
"i'll thank him a million times when he gets back," joshua says, sincerely.
"you're even luckier—" junhui pauses before saying, "that he likes you. that we like you."
"minghao likes me?" joshua asks, jaw unhinged. junhui simply laughs in his face before yanking him off the couch.
"you're so cute, hyung. come take a nap with me. this was exhausting," junhui smiles.
joshua does not hesitate to follow.
-
"i want to visit your hometowns," joshua says, waking up hours later, as he faces junhui in bed. he wonders if this is obvious enough. if he needs to push the envelope further. if these few words can make up for the time lost.
junhui scans his face, stops at his lips, then goes back to his eyes. "are you sure? i thought you dropped out of intermediate mandarin."
joshua thinks about pushing him out of bed but decides he likes the way junhui wraps around him more.
"i'll study. minghao will help me if you won't," joshua says, more confident than he has been in weeks.
"are you trying to steal my boyfriend from me before even confessing to him?" junhui giggles. "because i personally think you guys need to have a long talk before you can even think of swooping in and stealing my language tutor."
"really?" joshua laughs. "what does he teach you?"
junhui pretends to think for a moment. "english."
"oh, very funny. you know what? i don't even want to visit shenzhen that badly," joshua says. but he can't keep a straight face, especially not when junhui's brows furrow and he nudges his sides.
"that's not fair, hyung. you promised me years ago you would visit shenzhen with me! i even moved to your hometown!" junhui whines.
"you did," joshua says. he still can't believe it sometimes, that junhui agreed to his plan of opening a dance studio in los angeles.
he still remembers the first few weeks, teaching junhui english, introducing him to his family, and taking him to all the places he hung out at in high school. he probably should've noticed that junhui had feelings for him then, as the younger followed him around the city that molded him with stars in his eyes.
"do you ever regret it?" joshua asks.
"no, i like it here," junhui says, pulling joshua closer and securing the blankets tight around them. "it's sunnier and i like how close we are to the ocean."
"really?"
"yeah, and me and hao's place has a better view than yours," junhui says.
"are you implying that i should move in with you guys? now who's getting ahead of themselves?" joshua teases, tucking a strand of hair behind junhui's ear.
"not immediately. we need to talk with minghao. you guys have to resolve your feelings for each other. and then you both need to thank me for being so handsome, patient, and funny, and give me plenty of kisses," junhui says, smiling proudly.
"whatever you say, jun-ah," joshua says, a smile taking over his face. "who's going to water all of these plants when the three of us are gone?"
"what are you talking about? we'll take them all with us," junhui laughs. joshua rolls his eyes and weakly attempts to pull out of junhui's grasp. junhui responds by holding him closer and tangling their legs together.
"can i stay here? for tonight?" joshua asks, suddenly emboldened. junhui brushes his bangs out of his eyes and caresses the brunette's face in his hands.
"of course you can. you can stay here for as long you want," junhui beams, and joshua feels all the missing pieces fall together: home, junhui, minghao. "we should also get a new ivy plant. i know you were lying when you told me the flowers are supposed to turn brown," junhui says.
joshua's face goes flat as he pretends not to know what junhui's talking about. he only admits the truth when junhui begins to jut his lower lip out in a pout.
"you should also know the snake plant is definitely not supposed to be as droopy as it is right now," joshua giggles as junhui's lips press against his brow.
"damn, do you think hao will be mad?" junhui murmurs against his cheek. joshua shrugs before nuzzling into the younger's neck. two arms are secured around his waist. junhui smells like salt water and green tea.
he tells junhui he has a feeling he won't mind.