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When the sword finally pulled free Ed grunted, hand coming up to cover the wound. He glanced down at it and then back up at Stede, grinning at the look on the man’s face, clearly as elated as he was terrified. It was an exciting reaction to get, a nice change from just fear. Just empty awe.
It faltered though as Stede’s eyes fell to his hand and he looked a bit sick at the sight of the blood. “Oh, I should… we should probably get Roach-”
“Nah.” He bunched up the cloth of his shirt to hold against it, “Izzy will take care of it.”
“Oh.” Impossible to miss the sour look on Stede’s face, and Ed felt some of his good mood slip away at the clear disregard for his first mate.
Not that he had really been doing much to dissuade it he supposed.
“Yeah, Izzy is great.” He rubbed at his beard with the hand not covered in blood, “He’s just under a lot of pressure with, ya know, being a first mate and all.”
“You’re a captain and you don’t seem to be under a lot of stress.”
Ed felt his shoulders tighten, pushed down the urge to remind Stede of the first day he was on the ship and how they had almost all died, that this wasn’t a game , but he finally just shrugged it off. “That’s cause Izzy takes care of everything for me.” He had been reluctant to leave Stede a few moments ago, but now he was itching to get to his first mate.
“I thought perhaps we could have had a bit of tea after Roach patched you up, but of course, if you think Izzy should look at it by all means.”
Ed reached out, unsure, but finally patted Stede’s shoulder. “Yeah, man. I’ll show you some more stuff tomorrow.” He winced at a bite of pain, already regretted his rash actions, knew that Izzy was going to scold him. “A little less stabbing, maybe.” The fact that Stede had actually done it was lunatic, thrilling, Izzy wouldn’t have let him if he was there. But he also wouldn’t be bleeding on the deck. Which as his shirt started to soak through might have been the better option..
“Of course.”
They managed good nights, a little awkward, and Ed left him on the deck to go search out Izzy. Blood was sluggishly pushing through his fingers, not too bad, but it definitely should be seen to sooner rather than later.
He didn’t bother to stop and get any supplies, sure that Izzy had some stashed in the room he’d taken, his Izzy was always prepared like that. He paused outside the door, and abruptly realized he hadn’t been back in the room since just after that fancy party had gone sideways, not since he’d lost it on Izzy for letting someone flirt with him.
And through the fun he’d been having, the carefree attitude he’d been able to take on the revenge there was a pang of guilt. Izzy wasn’t adjusting, he knew that, fuck he expected it. He could let go and be so relaxed because he knew that Izzy wouldn’t let his guard down. Hell, he nearly forgot Izzy was there, just let him fade in the background, complete faith in him that he would do what needed to be done to keep them safe.
Doing as he was told to, as always. A first mate obeying his captain, and Ed wasn’t even sure there was more to it for Izzy anymore. Barely ever saw that spark that had been there when they were young, watched it fade away until he didn’t know what Izzy saw when he looked at him, if he wanted him or was just obeying his captain. The same way he’d obeyed Hornigold.
He almost turned away, headed to look for this ship surgeon, but he wasn’t a coward. And this was Izzy , he couldn’t retreat from facing him.
“Hey, Iz!” He pushed the door, and grunted when it didn’t open. He scowled and pounded on it with his free hand, “Hey, it’s me, open the fuck up.”
There was a noise from inside, a quiet curse and a rustling, and then footsteps. The door flung open and Izzy was already halfway back to the other side of the room before it was fully open, back turned to Ed.
He watched the door hit the wall before bringing his eyes back to Izzy. His shoulders were up around his ears, arms curled tight around his body, stripped down to just his shirt and smalls and despite that he was still bleeding Ed’s cock gave a little jolt of interest.
“Door was locked? Everything okay?”
“What do you want, Captain?”
There was a joke on the tip of his tongue about if Izzy was afraid of Stede’s crew and that’s why the door was locked, but it caught in his throat when heard Izzy’s choked up voice. “Iz?” When he didn’t get any kind of response he moved into the room and kicked the door shut, and didn’t miss the way Izzy flinched.
He stopped once he was directly behind him and waited for Izzy to turn, but he stayed facing the wall, and this close it was clear that he was shaking, small tremors making his shoulders jump. Ed grabbed his elbow and tugged him, forcing him to turn. He already knew what he was going to find, and he reached up to swipe his thumb across Izzy’s cheek, wiping away tears. “Iz, what happened? Why are you crying?”
Izzy’s eyes darted up from the floor to look at him, searching his face for something, and he looked frustrated when he didn't find it. His eyes were still welling up, and he sniffled, but snapped out, “I was on deck, I saw.”
“Deck?” His hand shifted over his wound, and he glanced down at it, and back at Izzy. “Oh. It’s fine, came here to have you clean me up.”
Izzy’s eyes went impossibly wide, hurt and angry, and he stumbled back a step. It pressed him up against the bed and he nearly fell over but Ed grabbed his shirt to catch him, twisting his fingers in it. “Clean - clean you up ?”
“Yeah, Iz.” He went over his own words, trying to figure out what Izzy was upset about. “Stede and I-”
“I heard what you and Bonnet were doing!” The shaking in his limbs was getting worse, and he clenched his jaw.
Ed rolled his eyes, “It’s not a big deal, Iz.”
A choked sob made it out even though Izzy was clearly trying to stop it and Ed expected more scolding but instead of anger there was only hurt. He swallowed and met Ed’s eyes, “You won’t touch me in front of anyone, won’t mark me where anyone can see, but you’ll fuck him on deck?”
“What?” He stared at Izzy, trying to understand what he was asking. “Who fucked on deck?”
“You did.” There was a shadow of doubt on Izzy’s face now, clearly unsure, “I heard you. You and Bonnet.”
“Fuck, Izzy, I have no idea what you are talking about. I was showing him some sword fighting and, well-” He held up his hand, didn’t bother to say that he had encouraged it, not when he had Izzy wrong footed now, could push that to get fixed up and move on without a lecture.
“But, but I heard…” He trailed off as he focused on Ed’s hand. “That’s blood.”
“Had a little accident.” He brought his hand back down to his wound, Izzy’s eyes following the movement.
Izzy’s entire body went still, wound tight, and the voice that came out was the one that usually meant someone's death. It made Ed’s cock twitch. “He stabbed you?” Izzy’s eyes darted up to his to confirm, and gave a sharp nod. “I’m going to kill him.”
He blocked him when Izzy tried to move towards the door, a chuckle rumbling low in his throat, “Nah, mate. It’s fine. What you are gonna do, is patch me up here.”
Ed watched the emotions flicker across Izzy’s face. Frustration, worry, and barely stopped from sighing when it settled on anger. “He can’t get away with just-”
“I told him to do it, man. You know it's all a bit, left side and all. So just relax and get me stitched up.”
“You told… you told him to?” There was a snap in his voice now, and Ed could feel himself tensing in response to it, weirdly comforted by the familiar back and forth. There was just something about putting Izzy in his place that settled right in Ed’s chest, some need that he didn’t like to think of.
“Yeah, I did, do you have a problem with that?”
“Of all the stupid-”
There it was. Ed’s hand darted out to wrap around his throat and shoved back. Izzy bent backwards over the bed until his back hit the wall, body arched while he desperately tried to keep his feet from slipping out from under him. Izzy grabbed his arm with both hands, not trying to pull it away, just using it to balance. “Did you forget who you’re talking to?”
Izzy made some kind of noise like he was trying to say something, but Ed’s grip was too tight for words to make it out, but he still knew what he said. He let him go, watched him drop awkwardly to the bed as he gasped for breath, and tried not to wince at the way it had aggravated the wound in his side. He nodded, “Right. I’m your captain.”
Izzy rolled onto his side and curled in a bit, but after catching his breath he rolled onto his back, legs splaying to fit around Ed and whispered, “Sorry, captain.”
It was what Ed had been aiming for when he grabbed him, forcing him to give in, but it only aggravated him. He wanted Izzy to lash out at him, fight back, and he stared down at him as he considered. He finally raised an eyebrow, “What if I had been fucking him on deck, Iz? Is there a problem with that?”
Izzy glared at him, fists clenched, blinking rapidly as he tried to stop tears. “Why would you-” The words shook, small and pained, but Izzy snapped his mouth shut and turned his head away, “No, captain.”
“Fuck Izzy, this is what I’m talking about.” Watching Izzy give in, resigned and hurt, had guilt settle like a rock in his stomach. He had to make it Izzy’s fault, if the hurt was his fault then he was no better than his father, and he couldn’t, that couldn’t be right. “Why do you always have to make everything difficult like this? Maybe I wanna fuck him because I actually get to have some fucking fun when I’m with him.”
“I’m sorry, Ed, I don’t mean to.” Izzy pushed himself up to his elbows, eyes on Ed’s stomach. “I will get you stitched up.”
“Was a mistake to come here, shoulda just gone to the ship doctor.”
Izzy shook his head, distracted now that he had a purpose. He sat all the way up and moved forward until he was at the edge of the bed and looked up at Ed, “I haven’t seen him do any medical work, I’ll do it. It will be right.” He lifted one hand to touch Ed’s hip, fingers near the wound, “Please let me.”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks, Iz.” He wanted to lean down, grab Izzy’s face and kiss him, kiss him until he could erase the hurt that he had put there. Didn’t really seem fair when he thought of it that way, though. So he just stepped back and to the side to give Izzy room to move.
Izzy pulled out a bag from under the cot, and just as Ed had expected there was a box with medical supplies. He let himself be directed until he sat on the bed and leaned back, giving Izzy room to move. He settled between Ed’s legs on his knees, focused fully on cleaning and stitching him up, and Ed used the time to watch Izzy.
It was rare for him to be able to watch Izzy without having him look back, Izzy’s eyes always on him unerringly like a loyal dog. Like someone too devoted for their own good. Ed’s eyes trailed from the furrowed brown, past the sharp focus in his eyes, down to his lips. Izzy’s tongue was just visible, poking out between his lips the way it sometimes did when he was concentrating and he didn’t realize that Izzy had finished stitching him up until he leaned back. “Good as new.”
He lifted his gaze to Izzy’s eyes only to realize Izzy was staring at his mouth. He didn’t move, waiting to see what Izzy would do, if he would close the distance between them. Ed never stopped wondering if Izzy thought he was subtle, if he thought he was discreet, if he didn’t realize how much he gave away about what he wanted.
Izzy pushed up on his knees, closer to the same height as Ed, and leaned forward into his space. He was flushed, blood rising to his cheeks when he had realized Ed was watching his mouth, and he licked his lips, nervous eyes darting to Ed’s.
Ed’s lips parted and the last few weeks of Ed barely paying attention crashed into him all at once, overwhelming and depressing and desperate. Ed always had passing fancies but never this long, never somewhere where Izzy had no one else, and he could feel himself breaking under the weight of it. He leaned in, heart hammering as he pressed his lips to Ed’s, soft and gentle. He didn’t try to deepen it, just pressed their mouths together, just wanted to feel Ed against him.
There was no response from Ed, he didn’t try to push it further, didn’t pull away and without any feedback Izzy didn’t know if Ed was pleased or he was about to be mocked for it. He pulled back just enough that he could speak, quiet but sure, “I miss you.”
Ed grabbed Izzy’s face with both hands and tilted his head up to get a better angle, sliding their mouths together and wasting no time before he pushed his tongue against Izzy’s lips, licking into him as soon as he opened them. He kissed him like he was trying to own him, forcing him to take it whatever he gave him.
When Izzy shifted his hips Ed moved so he could slide a leg between his thighs, lifting up until he rubbed against Izzy hard in his smalls. He chuckled into the kiss, thrilled at the way it made Izzy’s hips rock against his legs and a whine slip from his throat only to be muffled in the kiss. He pulled back to bite at Izzy’s lips, sucking on it and worrying it until it would be swollen, even as he rocked his leg up in a slow dirty grind.
Izzy was helpless against it, thighs clenched around Ed’s leg as he humped him, face heated with shame. Ed moved down to his neck, pressing open mouth kisses along it, and there was nothing to muffle Izzy’s whine this time. “Needy thing, aren’t you?” Ed’s words rumbled against his throat, and his whole body shivered, could already feel his cock dripping, soaking a wet patch in his smalls.
Ed moved, sitting up straighter, and it forced Izzy to sink down, his full weight settled with Ed’s boot between his legs, sharp shocks of pleasure as he ground his cock against it. Ed leaned his foot into it, digging in hard enough to hurt, his cock filling out at the way it made Izzy moan. “Look at you,” his own voice was a little breathless now, “Rutting against your captain like a bitch in heat.”
“Captain,” Izzy panted, hands coming down to wrap around Ed’s leg as he rocked his hips against him, the too rough drag of his sensitive cock head making his body tense as it fought between pushing closer and pulling back. “Ed-”
“Fuck.” Ed lifted his other foot to knock Izzy’s hip, “Get your smalls off, wanna see you.”
It took Izzy a few seconds to understand and then he was hastily shoving them down his thighs and tugged his cock free. Without being told he pulled Ed’s leg closer again, eyes falling closed with a groan when his bare cock dragged against the leather. He was wet with precum, just enough to slide with the occasional sharp tug that had him gasping and whining, embarrassing sounds that he couldn’t stop.
Ed palmed himself over his pants, ashamed of the part of him that was so deeply satisfied to see Izzy like this, submissive and debasing himself just because Ed told him to. Told himself that if Izzy was enjoying this, then he didn’t have to feel guilty about it. “Making a fucking mess, aren’t ya?”
There was precum slicked across his leg, shiny in the low lantern light, and Izzy’s movements slowed before they picked back up with a moan. “I’ll lick them clean.”
Ed grunted and leaned back so he could get his pants pushed down, the words going straight to his dick, and he wanted that dirty mouth on him. The sudden movement jostled his side though, and he yelped, abruptly curling in around the pain.
It yanked his leg out from Izzy’s grip, leaving him swaying and unsteady for a moment, before he realized what had happened. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t think. I shouldn’t have, you’re hurt.” Izzy’s anxious eyes moved from the wound to Ed’s face as he awkwardly grabbed for his smalls to pull them back on, tucking away his dick with a grimace.
“It’s fine.” He tried to reach for Izzy, wanted to get back to it, but Izzy scooted back out of reach. “Izzy.”
Izzy’s eyes darted to the wound again and there was a lightning quick flash of fear on his face, before it was gone, the normal anger back in place. Ed had seen it though, suddenly hit with the reality that him being injured scared Izzy, but before he could try to figure out how to bring that up, how to comfort him, Izzy was already hiding behind his words.
“You’re hurt and someone should pay for it.” His hands clenched at his side, not sure what to do with the helplessness he felt at Ed being injured by someone and knowing he’d have to continue playing nice with that person. Not sure what to do with the bitter resentment that going against Ed at all had him punished, but this man, Stede fucking Bonnet, could stab him with no repercussions. Well. Izzy could do something about it. He pushed to his feet.
“Izzy, come on man, I’m trying to fuck you here.” Ed pushed to his feet with a wince, one hand over his side. “Get back on the floor, you must have been close.” He reached out to palm over Izzy but grunted in annoyance when Izzy took another step back.
“If one person gets away with stabbing you then everyone will think-”
“No one on this ship is gonna think they can stab me, you’re being difficult.” He shifted to stand to his full height, pushing into Izzy’s face, “You know I’m sick to fuck of you being difficult, Iz. Don’t turn this into an issue.”
Izzy pulled a face at that, looking away from Ed, eyes darting towards the knife laying on the small table in the room. “Don’t-”
He always forgot how quick Izzy could move. He had the knife and was a few steps towards the door, just out of Ed’s reach, before he could react. Izzy’s grip on the knife was tense, and Ed knew that it was a bluff but that did nothing to sway the rage flooding his system at being disobeyed. “Listen, give me the knife and we can go back to-” He paused, and his mouth twisted into a mean scowl, “Actually scratch that. Just give me the knife so I can go, really don’t feel like fucking anymore.”
Izzy’s defenses were dropping, hurt at the words, clearly overwhelmed by how quickly things had gotten out of control. This was where he gave into Ed, where he didn’t have to be in control, but Ed could have been killed . For a joke, as a way to flirt. He wasn’t stupid, okay, maybe he had thought they were fucking and he was wrong but he still knew what Ed was doing. Ed had even told him that if he wanted to fuck Stede, he could, Izzy had no say.
God, he wanted to just go home to the Queen Anne.
“The knife, Izzy.”
“If you want it so damn bad,” he spit on the floor to cover his nervousness, “Then come and take it from me. If you can.”
Ed huffed out a laugh and reached down to palm over his pants, making it clear the effect Izzy’s little defiance was having on him. “Sure you wanna do this, Iz?”
Izzy went for the door and Ed moved, ready for it now. He didn’t try to grab him, just threw his whole body weight forward, slamming them both into the door. There was a sharp tug on his wound, and he really hoped he hadn’t pulled a stitch. He got a hand around the wrist with the knife in it and pinned it against the wall while his other hand tangled in Izzy’s hair and shoved his face against the wall, holding him there.
He squirmed in the hold but clearly wouldn’t push against Ed when it would aggravate the wound, and Ed just let him struggle for a moment until he tired himself out, panting against the wall. “Ya gonna be good?”
“ Fuck off .”
Ed hummed and tightened his hold until Izzy flinched and the knife fell to the floor with a clatter. He didn't let up, just moved so he could rock his hips against Izzy’s ass, let him feel his cock pressed up against him. “Maybe you’re just jealous, Iz. Do you wish it was you that stabbed me?”
Izzy flinched, like the thought of that was so horrible he physically couldn’t handle it, and shook his head as he went boneless and easy in his hold. Ed watched his profile, the length of his neck where his head was pulled back, “Or maybe you want Stede to have a go at you?” Just as he hoped that made Izzy fight again as he tried to twist out of Ed’s hands.
He let him go suddenly and watched him stumble at the sudden lack of tension, and used it to shove him towards the bed. Izzy tried to face him and snarled out, “If you think I’ll let Bonnet fuck me you’re out of your fucking-” A hard slap snapped Izzy’s head to the side, making him stumble. Ed wrapped his hand around the back of his neck and pushed him until Izzy gave in and went to his knees and then bent over the bed, face pressed into the blankets.
“I meant sword fighting, Iz, obviously.” He grinned and reached behind him until he grabbed the knife and settled on the ground between Izzy’s knees. Could just make out the glare aimed at him, like Izzy wanted to make sure he knew exactly what Ed had been hinting at. He shifted his grip on the knife and let the tip press at the small of Izzy’s back, just hard enough to feel it. “What about me, Izzy? Do you want me to stab you?”
He trailed the knife down the bit of skin until it bumped up against the top of Izzy’s smalls, and then dragged it over them, watching it indent the material between his cheeks while Izzy held so still Ed wasn’t even sure he was breathing.
When he reached between his legs he turned the flat of it to press against the back of his balls and then dragged it along his inner thigh until he reached the edge of the cloth, skating along the skin there, and then brought the knife back up the same path.
Izzy’s breath was coming out fast and shallow, face buried against the bed, his hands clenched in the blankets. So perfectly pliant for whatever Ed wanted to do. He let the blade skirt over the small of his back again, leaving light red lines, just short of bleeding. Izzy’s knees shifted on the ground, nervous or excited, maybe both.
Ed put one hand on Izzy’s hip to keep him still and slipped the blade under the band of his smalls, and used it to slowly pull the material down, the edge of the blade just barely grazing Izzy’s skin. Ed realized abruptly he had a mouthful of saliva, had been entranced by the shine of the blade against Izzy’s skin. He tugged Izzy’s underthings down the rest of the way, made Izzy lift one knee and then the other so he could pull them all the way off.
Without the restriction Izzy’s legs shifted farther apart, back curved to press his ass up, cock hanging heavy and full under him. Ed groaned at the sight and undid his pants with one hand, but didn’t push them down yet. He shuffled through the bag of supplies Izzy had until he found the oil that he had seen earlier and pulled out the stopper with his teeth and poured it over Izzy’s ass, carelessly throwing the empty bottle away. Izzy would bitch later for wasting it, but right now the smaller man only whined, hips rocking against nothing.
The knife was still in his hand and he brought it closer, watching Izzy for his reaction as he reached under him to tap against the head of Izzy’s cock with the flat of the blade. He was careful to make sure he wouldn’t cut him, wouldn’t actually hurt him like that, but for Izzy who couldn’t see what Ed was doing it was a shock, making him cry out and his hips jerk.
“Easy.” He turned the knife in his hand until he was holding it carefully by the top of the handle, letting the blade safely tuck in against the leather of his glove, and dragged the rounded end of the hilt between Izzy’s cheeks, sliding easily with the oil, and pressed it firmly against his hole.
“Ed-” Izzy choked out his name, panicked, but anything else was drowned out with a moan as Ed steadily pushed the hilt until it slid inside. It wasn’t a big handle, not even as big as two of his fingers, carefully rounded and polished but he still watched Izzy carefully as he pushed it deeper.
Izzy was wailing on the bed, shaking, as the biggest part of the handle sunk into him. His body clenched around it, unfamiliar and unyielding inside him, and he whined.
Ed stopped once there were a few inches in him, keeping well away from the blade, and held it there while Izzy twitched and squirmed at the intrusion. He swallowed, and kept his voice low, “How does it feel? Does it hurt?” He pulled it out an inch or two and shoved it back in, cock throbbing when Izzy yelped and nodded. He eyed Izzy’s cock, still hard under him, and reasoned that this was okay. “Maybe you’ll remember this the next time you even think about raising a weapon against me.”
“I’m sorry, Ed, I’m sorry Captain.” Izzy’s voice was thin, rough like he was crying, and Ed shifted the angle of the hilt so the next few thrusts slid across the good place, until Izzy’s whimpers turned into needy whines. He wanted more though, needed Izzy to give in that last bit, and when Izzy finally pushed back on the hilt even as he cried, Ed pulled it all the way out and tossed it aside. Izzy would clean it later.
Izzy let out a little shocky sound when it pulled free, hole clenching around nothing, and Ed wasted no time pulling out his cock. He swiped at the oil coating Izzy’s ass and slicked himself up before shuffling forward and pressing the head against Izzy’s hole.
A relieved groan came form Izzy and he rocked his hips back, desperately trying to get Ed to sink in to him. He watched him work at it for a moment before he grabbed his hips and sunk inside to the hilt, pulling Izzy as deep as he could onto his cock.
“Fuck, Iz, that was so hot.” He picked up a quick pace, already close after watching the hilt slide into Izzy’s ass. “You’ll let me do anything, won’t you?”
Izzy grunted with each thrust that ground perfectly against the place inside, hands scrambling at the blankets to get leverage to push back into each one, and turned his head so he could gasp out, “Yes, captain, anything.”
“So good for me, Iz. You’re my, just, you’re fucking mine .”
Izzy’s orgasm slammed into him unexpectedly at the words, not ready for the rush of heat as he clenched down around Ed’s cock, grinding back on him as he gasped out his name and came over the side of the bed, cock twitching and throbbing when Ed kept going, cock slamming into him just right, sending sparks of nearly too much as he shook through the pleasure.
“Fuck, almost squeezed my cock off.” There was an easy laugh in Ed’s voice, and he slapped Izzy’s ass, “Almost there, just keep up like that.”
It took a second for Izzy to catch his breath but then he did as told, shoving himself back onto Ed’s cock as he ignored the bite of oversensitivity. One of Ed’s arms slid under his chest and pulled him up and back suddenly, and the change in angle had Ed sink deeper, and he shouted as it brought him over the edge.
He used an arm around Izzy’s waist and the one on his chest to bounce him on his cock as he came, fucking his come deep into him, luxuriated in the feeling of Izzy hot and tight around him as his cock twitched. He rotated his hips a bit, grinding in, when he noticed the wince on Izzy’s face. It almost had him pull away completely but came to his senses before he did, and lowered Izzy until he was back bent over the bed. He palmed his ass and pet his side like calming a wild animal. “Sore?”
He could already see that Izzy was going to say he was fine, but when Ed pulled out he winced again and instead muttered, “A bit.”
Ed trailed fingers over Izzy’s hole carefully, it was red and puffy, looked painful and he gave a guilty glance towards where the knife laid on the floor across the room. “Come on, I got ya.”
He helped Izzy to sit back on his knees and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back against his chest. It made his side twinge but he made sure to not show it and just held Izzy against him, face buried against the side of his neck.
Slowly the tension left Izzy’s body until he turned and pressed his forehead against him. Ed lifted his head to press a kiss to his mouth, just a comforting brush of their lips, and watched the way the gentleness made Izzy’s cheeks flush as he averted his eyes.
When Izzy brought his eyes back they were still soft, and Ed found himself being the one to look away. He dropped his hands and leaned back. “My knee is gonna be fucked.”
He saw the reluctance on Izzy’s face, like he didn’t want to end the moment they were having, but eventually he nodded and pushed to his feet and then helped Ed to his. Ed’s knee was actually sore, would be worse tomorrow, and his side ached. It put him on edge and when Izzy just stared at him he turned his attention to tucking himself away and doing back up his clothes. Izzy hadn’t moved in front of him, still stood there with no pants, shirt hanging down just enough to cover him and it was inviting.
“Not gonna get dressed?”
“I thought-” Izzy stopped, clearly unsure, and looked away. “You could stay.”
The knife was in the corner of his vision. Izzy stood awkwardly, clearly sore from the fucking. There was still a red mark on his face from the slap. And he was asking Ed to stay, looking fucking hopeful that Ed would stay.
It wasn’t right, he knew that, even if he wouldn’t admit it.
“Nah, gonna go see if I can find some rum, take the edge of the pain. You get some sleep though.” He motioned down at his side, and tried not to think about it as Izzy’s shoulders sagged and his eyes fell to the floor.
“Yes, captain.”
“We good, Iz?” Izzy nodded but wouldn’t look at him and Ed stopped at the door, facing it. “Thought you didn’t like that, ya know. Leaving marks.”
“What?”
He turned to look at him, not prepared for those big fucking eyes to meet his, begging without words for anything Ed would give him. He cleared his throat. “You don’t like when I leave marks, you said the crew doesn’t respect you when you look like you’ve been rolled.” It had been a joke on the Queen Anne, he knew that Izzy hadn’t really cared that much, not when they were with their men and everyone was well aware of what they got up to.
Honestly he didn’t know why he had on the Revenge, if he had just been trying to let Izzy keep his dignity or if he had been trying to hide what Izzy was to him, but Izzy didn’t deserve that. Ed didn't want to think about it, just wanted it to be okay, wanted Izzy settled back into the place he fit with him.
It wasn’t right .
Izzy’s hand came up to his neck, over the swallow tattoo, and the need on his face was so open it made Ed uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.”
Ed nodded, Izzy was apologizing, and that was the way it was supposed to be. “S’okay Iz. You know you’re mine, that is what matters, try not to worry so much. Get some sleep.”
“G’night, Ed.”
“G’night, Iz.”
He slipped out the door, and shut it behind him, and stood for a long time in the dark staring at it. Maybe he could just-
No.
He could go back in, could hold him, but he knew the next day when he went to see Stede the way Izzy would look at him, could already see the hurt.
The kindest thing he could do for Izzy was to give him space and once Ed had his fill of Stede and this fun little diversion, things would go back to normal and Izzy would be fine with it, just like he always was. No reason to make it worse now, not when it would just bring both of them down.
He nodded to himself and headed towards the deck, purposely refusing to think about the cold dread that crept into his chest, ignoring the warning signs that he knew how off course he was heading.
It wasn’t right .
Things were fine.