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Leonardo had never really been a fan of heights for as long as he could recall. His father had tried to help him get over it, but nothing they did really helped. Leo might argue it only got worse.
He remembered how Don was the first to reach out about his "issue". Of course, as a younger brother, he had to tease their so-called "fearless leader" about it. But once he realized it was serious, he took a different approach.
His brother asked him endless questions, varying from how it made him feel to how high he'd have to be to be affected by it and if he felt there was anything that helped in those situations.
Leo remembered feeling like he was more of a study subject for Don back then, but looking back on it, he knew better now. It was simply Don's way of looking for a solution.
And tried, he did. He tried to get his brother to climb up some place high and stay there for a certain amount of time. Leo thinks he even built a tower once, if he remembered correctly.
It didn't really help and his brother trying to drag him up only seemed to have made the situation worse. So eventually, Don stopped trying. Leo apologized for it back then, but his genius brother assured him it wasn't his fault. They just haven't found the right formula yet.
Mikey had been next. His ever optimistic sibling... didn't do much on top of what he had already tried with Don. Except it seemed his approach was to encourage Leo on every step of the way, which made him feel very childish. He was the leader, he didn't need to be coddled!
He supposed he'd have to tell Mikey one of these days that he appreciated those kind words back then. He just had a role he needed to fulfill.
Predictably, whatever Mikey suggested didn't work and Leo was still afraid of heights. Although he found that holding hands helped a bit, he didn't allow himself to be that vulnerable back then.
He was quite a stubborn kid, wasn't he?
Another thing he supposed he would have to apologize to his brother for.
It took a while, after some relentless teasing and gloating about "being a better leader than him", but even Raph had attempted to help him.
Although his approach was much more... direct. And rough. And brutal, he remembered it being brutal. He didn't want to admit it to anyone, but he shuddered each time he thought about it.
Raph's solution consisted of actually dragging him up to high places, which usually meant that Splinter had to go up and fetch him, followed by a thorough scolding to his younger brother.
When he thought about it, he might have avoided Raph for a while then, seeing as he was afraid he was going to get dragged up somewhere high.
Raph eventually apologized for his behavior and even let him have a slice of his favorite pizza for a month. Leo wasn't particularly fond of that type of pizza, but he couldn't bring himself to tell that to Raph when he had been so nice to share.
Plus how could he complain when Raph made sure he could watch whatever he wanted on the screen and he fought off their brothers if they tried to argue about it.
A small smile rested on his beak. Those were quite the days.
And he looked down and he suddenly remembered why he was thinking about all of this in the first place.
He quickly turned his gaze to the sky, trying to ignore his racing heart, swallowing thickly as his palms started to sweat.
He pressed himself up against the wall behind him, likely with more force than necessary. And he had to remind himself to breathe.
It was just another patrol, nothing was out of the ordinary. It even looked like it was going to be a peaceful evening for once.
And he of course had to slip on the edge of the roof and fall several stories down before he managed to move and use his katana to stop the fall.
So here he was, stuck on a ledge who knew how many stories above the ground; he wasn't about to check when he was close to a panic attack.
"Okay... okay. Breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe. IーI can do that." he mumbled to himself.
In and out, in and out. Okay, slower. Got to breathe slowly. In. Out. In. Out.
"Leo! Where are you?" he heard Mikey's voice from somewhere up above. Up where he desperately wanted to be.
"Hey, Leo!" Raph's voice sounded next. "If this is another one of your stupid impromptu hide-and-seek training bits, I'm not in the mood!"
"Raph, I think this is serious." Don gently scolded him and Leo wanted to cry from relief at the attempt of consolation. Even if his brother hadn’t meant to, he was grateful all the same.
"IーI'm down here, guys!" Leo called out as loud as he could, focusing on his breathing.
"Leo?" Don said, confused, and when the turtle in blue looked up, he saw his brothers at the top of the roof, peeking down over the edge. "What are you doing down there?"
"I..." He cleared his throat after it nearly clamped up, and while he knew his brothers knew of his situation, it didn't make it any less embarrassing. "IーI... fell."
"Oh, crud." Raph said next. They all knew what that meant. "Hang on, big bro. We're coming to get ya."
"Hey, Leo!" Mikey said with the warmest, kindest smile a person could have and Leo once again wanted to tear up. "Just focus on me, okay? You're gonna be alright. There's nothing to worry about."
As his sibling said, Leo focused his gaze on the youngest while trying to ignore the wind blowing past him, making him tense up even further.
Don't think about the wind blowing you off and making you fall, don't think about the wind blowing you offー
Needless to say, he was thinking about it.
Meanwhile his remaining brothers worked their way down and were by his side in mere moments.
Mikey gave him a thumbs up with a big silly grin. "See? You're doing great!"
"Okay, fearless." Raph said in what Leo had no doubt was sarcasm and he wanted to roll his eyes if he wasn't so busy focusing on Mikey. "Don and I will put a hand on you now and guide you to the nearest window, okay?"
"RーRight."
"It's okay, Leo, we're here." Don said in a soft voice and soon, Leo felt a hand on each shoulder. "You know we'll catch you if you fall. We're just gonna take it nice and slow."
He nodded, fervently reminding himself to not look down.
He'd say he succeeded, for the most part. He nearly stepped off the ledge they were walking on once, making him look down to see where he was going and seeing the far distance to the ground below him made his vision swim.
He closed his eyes shut and he nearly hyperventilated then, scratching the wall behind him in an attempt to grab onto something.
He felt someone grab his hand and soon heard Don's soothing voice. "It's okay, Leo. You're safe."
"Yeah, we're here for you, bro." Raph gently patted his arm a couple times.
"We're almost there. Just a few more steps and we're scot-free."
He nodded silently, although he wasn't sure if his brothers saw him. It didn't matter in the end as they all moved and soon, Leo was carried inside through the window.
As soon as he landed on the floor, he fell down onto his knees and he wanted to cry. Whether it was from relief or embarrassment was hard to tell.
He was leaning towards embarrassment, however.
"There." Don said as he gently patted him on the shell. "You're safe now."
"IーI'm pathetic..."
"Hey!" Raph interrupted in an angry tone before Leo could say anything further. "We've talked about this, Leo. You don't get to talk like that, you hear me?"
"What Raph is trying to say is," Don continued for him, rubbing soothing circles on his shell. "We know you're trying your best here and you don't have to worry so much, you know. We know how to deal with it at this point. Remember when we were tots?"
Leo chuckled weakly at that. He remembered alright.
"BーBut I..."
"Uh-uh!" Leo looked up to protest, only to blink at the boop on the snout he got. He frowned, pouting up at his genius brother. “No more.” Don even had the audacity to wave a finger at him. Rude.
"Is Leo having one of his moments again?" Mikey's voice cut in out of the blue, and all three brothers looked up to see their sibling jump down from the vent.
"You know it." Raph answered him, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Silly."
Leo wanted to protest, again, like, where was the respect? Then he got smothered into a hug, and Leo had to pat the youngest on his shoulder.
"MーMikey. You're grabbing on a bit too tight there, buddy.”
"Sorry." Mikey loosened his grip, but in the end, didn't let go. "Just know that we'll always be here for you, no matter what."
"Iー"
"I concur."
Leo frowned, only to feel another set of arms around him. Was he ever going to get a word in?
"C'mon, Raph." Mikey said as he reached a hand out.
Raph shook his head, waving him off. "Oh no. I'm not getting all mushy with you guys, Iー hey!"
Against his will, Raph got dragged down by both Mikey and Don, and now they seemed to have an impromptu turtle pile with Leo in the middle.
It reminded him of when they were tots. The thought made him smile a little.
"I hate you," Raph said with no real malice in his voice, glaring at their brothers as they giggled. Leo only rolled his eyes.
"We're here for you, Leo." Mikey said as he gave a gentle squeeze.
"Always." Don said as he rested his head on his shoulder.
"As much of a pain in the shell as you are..." Raph grumbled, glancing off to the side. "What they said."
Leonardo smiled.
He may feel like he's not enough sometimes, but he's glad he had his brothers to remind him otherwise. Just like they've always done.
It was only cause of them that he could even move about from rooftop to rooftop to begin with, even if he did get episodes like this from time to time.
It was thanks to their unconditional support and love that his fears felt more manageable. He was forever grateful for them.
"Thanks, guys." He gave a gentle squeeze in turn and they all sat there on the floor till Leo felt ready to move. Then they all headed home for the night.