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She’d been in and out of consciousness from the pain medication, and her thoughts were still a little fuzzy when she blinked Barba’s face into focus. He was sitting in the chair beside her hospital bed, scrolling something on his phone, but he looked up when she shifted with a small wince. She was on her side facing him because she couldn’t lie on her back.
“Rafa?” she asked when his concerned gaze met hers.
“Do you need someone?”
“No, I…” She licked at her dry lips, forcing her groggy thoughts into order. “What’re you doing here?”
“Someone from the hospital called me. I’m listed as one of your emergency contacts.”
“Oh,” she said with a frown. She tried shifting again but stopped when her back screamed in protest. Her pain meds had definitely worn off. She was uncomfortable but as long as she didn’t move much, the discomfort was better than the pain. “Sorry about that. I guess I need to update…”
“Fin was here briefly while you were out, and Carisi and Rollins have Noah with them. They’ll drop him at school in the morning and Lucy’ll pick him up afterward. I’m supposed to be in court tomorrow but I gave Rollins and Lucy my mom’s number just in case, she can step in to help in a pinch. You’ll probably be home by then but…you don’t need to worry about him in the meantime.”
“Thanks for that,” she said quietly, blinking against the sting of tears.
He looked away and cleared his throat. “I’ll get out of here and let you get back to sleep, sorry, I just—”
“You called them?”
“Obviously me being at the top of your emergency contacts was an oversight, so I wanted to make sure that everything…That everyone who should know, did. Fin had already heard from the cops on scene.” He pushed to his feet and looked down at her, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. “I’m glad you’re alright, Liv.”
“Wait,” she said when he turned to leave. He looked back at her. “Could you…Are you in a hurry? To be somewhere?”
“What do you need?” he asked instead of answering. “Want me to get a nurse?”
“No. Could you stay for a few minutes?”
“Sure,” he said, although he seemed hesitant as he returned to his seat. “Do you have any questions about what happened?” he asked as he settled into the chair. “You were in and out, they said. No concussion, no broken bones.”
“I got hit by a car,” she said.
He grimaced. “Yes. You want the details?”
“I remember.”
“Good, because I didn’t really want to say it.”
She smiled. “I went partway under the bumper and they tried to back up. Dragged me for a few feet before someone got them to stop.”
“It could’ve been worse, although I imagine it doesn’t feel great.”
“No.” She hesitated. “Could you do me a favor—” She stopped when the door opened and Elliot Stabler came striding into the room with a swirl of cool air from the hallway. “El,” she said in surprise. She glanced at Barba, whose expression had suddenly become unreadable. “How did you—”
“Shit,” he said, crossing quickly to the bed. “You okay? They catch the sonofabitch?”
“It was an accident, not a hit and run,” she answered. “Did Fin call you?”
“Barba called me,” Stabler said, hooking a thumb toward Barba without looking at him. “Fin texted me a few minutes ago to make sure I knew.”
Liv looked at Barba, but he was picking imaginary lint from his knee and not looking at her.
“I got here as soon as I could,” Stabler said. “You should’ve called me.” He didn’t add ‘instead of him,’ but they all heard the unspoken words hanging in the air.
“I didn’t call anybody. The hospital notified—”
“I should go,” Barba said.
“Yeah. I’ve got it from here,” Stabler answered before Liv could speak, and Barba rose to his feet again. “Thanks for calling,” Stabler said, as grudgingly as possible. “We’ll make sure you’re taken off the list so it won’t happen again.”
“Call if you need anything, Liv,” Barba said.
She reached out and grabbed his hand before he could move away. “Please stay, I need to talk to you.” She looked at Stabler. “I’m fine, El, really. I’m sure you’re busy, there’s no reason for you to hang around here.”
Stabler looked from her to Barba and back, and she thought he was going to argue. Instead, a humorless smile curled his lips and he rolled his shoulders. “Fine.”
“I’ll text you tomorrow,” she said as an obvious peace offering.
Stabler nodded once, shot Barba a murderous look that Barba met with a mild raise of his eyebrows, and turned to leave as abruptly as he’d come. Once the door was closed behind him, Liv seemed to realize she still had hold of Barba’s hand and let it go.
“Sorry,” she muttered.
“I’m surprised he didn’t put up more of a fight, to be honest,” Barba said. “Although he’ll likely be waiting to jump me in the parking garage.”
She smiled. “You don’t have a car.”
“Hopefully he doesn’t know that,” he said, grinning when she laughed carefully.
“It must’ve been awkward for you, calling him. Thank you…for everything.”
“What’re friends for,” he murmured.
She sighed softly. “We are friends,” she said, because she felt like he needed to hear it as much as she needed to say it.
He cleared his throat. “Glad to hear it.”
“You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”
He considered for a few seconds before saying, “For your sake, I wish that bar were higher. You have a favor to ask?”
“Yes. Can you take a picture of my back so I can see how bad it looks?”
“Sure,” he said slowly, “but Stabler could’ve done that.” Or a nurse, he thought but didn’t add.
“I’ve got other scars that I don’t really want to explain…right now.”
“He doesn’t know about Lewis,” Barba said as realization dawned. He regretted saying the name when he saw her small wince, and he quickly pulled out his phone. “Right, yes, I can do that. You’re not bandaged?”
“It’s just taped around the edges, you can pull it down and tape it back up. Please,” she added when she saw him preparing to answer.
His objections died on his tongue and he nodded, starting around the bed. She pulled the blanket up onto her side to uncover her back. Her hospital gown was untied and wide open. His gaze slid from the large white bandage on her back to the bare skin of her ass, his steps faltering. He looked quickly away, glad she couldn’t see the sudden rush of color as heat flooded his face. He had to assume she didn’t know she was naked beneath the gown, or she would’ve made an effort to keep the blanket draped over her hips.
“I’m, uh. I’m gonna take a picture with the bandage, first,” he said, studiously keeping his eyes where they were supposed to be.
“Okay, thanks.”
He made sure her back was centered on the screen of his phone, with nothing inappropriate showing, before snapping the photograph. He set his phone on the bed and leaned forward. “You sure you want me to pull this off?” he asked, his fingers hesitating near the corner of the tape below her higher shoulder.
“Please.”
“Alright, just let me know if I hurt anything more than it already hurts.” He shifted her hair aside and carefully peeled the paper tape from her skin, ignoring the old scars puckering her skin. He grimaced when he caught his first sight of the road rash covering a good portion of her upper-to-middle back. It was wet; goopy, presumably from some sort of topical medication. Her skin around the rawest spots was pink and inflamed.
He pulled the bandage down to her lower back, slowly and carefully, leaving the last line of tape in place and letting the bandage hang aside. He picked up his phone and took a step back, again making sure nothing but her back and shoulders were showing in the picture. Then he leaned in and took a few closeups, swallowing against the sting of bile at the sight.
“How bad is it?” she asked. “Like hamburger?”
“More like flank steak,” he said, and she laughed in surprise. “Let me get this back up and I’ll show you.” He replaced the bandage, gently re-applying the tape to her skin before pulling the blanket back over her. He walked around the bed and sat on the edge of the chair, opening the first photo on his phone and turning it around for her to see. He let her take the phone when she reached for it, and he watched her face as she scrolled through the pictures he’d taken.
“Guess I don’t have to worry about some of those scars anymore,” she muttered, more to herself than to him.
“I hope you weren’t worried about them anyway,” he said.
Her gaze slid up to meet his over the phone. “Am I wearing underwear?” she asked, catching him off guard.
“Uhhh, nope. Full moon.”
She smiled at his attempt to dispel the awkwardness with a joke. “Sorry,” she said. The room wasn’t brightly-lit enough to be sure, but he thought he saw color in her cheeks. “I wasn’t thinking…” She gestured with the phone. “Thanks for your discretion.”
“Oh, keep scrolling, I took a bunch more,” he said, smiling in relief when she laughed quietly. He took the phone when she held it out, their eyes locking as their fingers brushed. He sat back, fidgeting with the phone on his thigh. “You need anything else?”
She didn’t answer for long moments, studying his face. “Are we okay?” she finally asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I don’t think that’s up to me.”
“I feel like everything’s gotten away from me lately,” she muttered. “The last couple of years…”
“I know,” he said. “You don’t have to worry about me, you know? I’m just…whatever I am.” He offered a smile that he hoped didn’t look as sad as it felt. “I’ll be around if you want me.”
“I don’t want you to get away from me,” she whispered.
“Liv,” he said, but then he stopped. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “This probably isn’t the best time.”
“Maybe not,” she agreed. “But being dragged under a car gives a person some perspective.”
“Yeah. Of the undercarriage.”
“I know you wanted to talk and I wasn’t ready. So if I’m too late, I understand.”
He opened his mouth, but the door opened before he could answer. He looked over as a nurse walked into the room. She flashed him a smile before looking at Liv. “You’re awake,” she said. “How do you feel?”
“Like half my skin was scraped off.”
“So you’d like something more for the pain?”
“Please,” Liv agreed. “But I also need to, uh…” She glanced at Barba. “Get up and…” She gestured toward the bathroom behind him.
“Sure thing,” the nurse answered cheerfully. “I can help you with that. Let me just get some vitals real quick, if that’s alright.”
Barba hesitated, unsure if he should stay or leave. He watched the nurse check Liv’s pulse and blood pressure. “When do you think she’ll be able to get out of here?” he asked.
“Tomorrow,” the nurse answered. “We’ll need to monitor for infection, there was a lot of debris in those wounds.”
He looked at Liv. “I can pick you up, if you want. Take you home, wrap you in bubble wrap.”
“You’re going to need help cleaning and changing the bandages,” the nurse told her. “Do you have someone who might be able to stay with you, at least for a few days?”
“I’ll figure something out,” Liv said. She met Barba’s eyes. “Not volunteering for sponge bath duty?”
He grinned. “You know I can’t offer without sounding like an asshole, but all you have to do is ask.”
She rolled her eyes, but her smile tightened in pain as the nurse helped her sit up and swing her legs off the bed. The nurse moved the blanket out of the way, holding Liv’s arm to help her off the bed while Barba studiously kept his gaze from straying toward the expanse of bare thighs revealed by the hiking hospital gown.
“Uh-oh, let’s keep this closed,” the nurse said, still sounding cheerful as she pulled the edges of the gown together over Liv’s backside.
Liv met Barba’s eyes. “Little late for that,” she muttered. There was no mistaking the color in her cheeks, now. Despite her embarrassment, she asked, “Will you stay a little longer? Until this nice lady knocks me back out?”
“I’ll stay as long as you want,” Barba said. As she passed, Liv touched his shoulder and he reached up to cover her fingers with his for a few moments. He didn’t look back, but he hummed a melody loudly enough for her to hear: If you get caught between the moon and New York City…
"Funny, Barba," she said, but the sound of her soft laugh made him smile.