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Missions outside the walls never went as expected. There were always unexpected deaths, unknown obstacles, titans in areas they should not be. Everyone always came back so drained in every way possible, so heartbrokenly numb. The Survey Corps was definitely not for the faint of heart. They had lost so many people, and injured a few as well. It must have been clear to their 'audience' of city dwellers that their mission had been a failure with the look of defeat on their faces. Sympathy and sadness could been seen by many people standing on the sides of the streets, watching what was left of the Survey Corps stumble past them.
Erwin, commander of them all, lead the group through the streets on his horse, forcing the blank look of determination on his face. But if anyone looked close enough, they would notice the dark marks under his eyes, and the tear marks that stained his already dirty face. He was really struggling to keep his composure; this was by far one of the mostly heart-breaking on missions they had gone on, and Erwin blamed himself fully for all the people they had lost. As they approached the stables, his reserve was slowly cracking, and he did himself to keep himself composed. A few minutes debriefing the higher ups on the mission, then he could slink back to his room, shower off the blood and gore from himself before he crawled into bed and wallowed, hopefully with Levi by his side.
Levi was studying Erwin from behind as they slowly strode through the streets. He noticed how the other man's shoulders had already started slumping, and if he squinted hard enough, he could see them shaking slightly. God, he was more wrecked than Levi had originally thought. Though, he couldn't exactly blame him. Knowing Erwin as well as the shorter man did, he probably blamed himself. It wasn't his fault, but Erwin would still take the blame; he was just that kind of leader. They finally approached the stables, and Erwin was the first to get off his horse, ordering his team to go and recover, that he'd meet with them later. Blue eyes darted to silver as the corps all started to dismount their own horses. While Erwin's expression didn't change, there was a desperation in his eyes that Levi knew all too well. He simply gave a small nod, understanding what the look meant. While the blonde talked to the higher ups, Levi would get himself cleaned up and would wait for him in Erwin's room.
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After the talk with the high council, Erwin found himself finally back inside his room. As soon as the door was closed and locked behind him, he collapsed back against it, slowly sliding down to the floor. His hands covered his face and he let all of tension, stress, and emotions wash over him. They had been outside the walls for over a week, and he had barely kept it together then. He didn't even look up when he heard footsteps, and felt a presence in front of him, small hands placing themselves on his thighs. Taking a shuddering breath, the blonde pulled his hands from his face, staring into those storm cloud eyes he loved so much.
"L-Levi, I..."
"Bath, now. You're disgusting."
Most people would have been offended and hurt by Levi's choice of words, but the tenderness of his tone and the concerned frown on his face made it easy to see that he cared deeply for the other man. With help, Erwin was back on his feet and shuffling towards the bathroom, taking his jacket off and kicking off his boots as he went. He was skin was starting to crawl, and the sooner his uniform was off, the better he would feel. Leaning down, he turned the knob on the bath, letting it slowly fill up. He turned around when he felt a light touch to his back, his eyes locking on Levi's. Small, pale hands slid up his chest, unsnapping the straps for the 3DMG. Once the straps were removed, Levi slowly unbuttoned Erwin's shirt, warm hands trailing down his chest and stomach. His touch was soothing to the blonde. Hands worked his pants off as well, and soon enough, he was naked.
Levi stepped around his commander, turning the water off; the bathtub was near full by now. His gaze flipped to Erwin, and he reached out, taking one of Erwin's hands. While no one would believe it, Humanity's Strongest could be rather gentle. "Get in the bath, I'll wash you." His voice was quiet, almost gentle, and he watched as the taller man nodded, moving around him to the bath before stepping into it.
As Erwin settled into the hot bath, a deep, relaxed sigh left his lips. He hadn't been able to bath since they left on the mission, and it felt so great to be swallowed up by the warm water. Sinking lower, he ducked his head underneath the water before resurfacing, his gaze shifting behind him when he felt a hand in his hair. The others touch was incredibly soothing to him, and his blue eyes closed slowly as Levi began massaging his scalp.
"I really appreciate this, Levi." Erwin didn't mean just for this time. Levi always helped him recover after missions like this, or vice versa. He wasn't sure what would happen if he didn't have the other man in his life like that.
"Shut up, old man. Just relax." Light kisses pressed to the back of Erwin's neck and the blonde let his head fall forward slightly, letting the touch of Levi's lips soothe him. After everything, Levi was the only one to keep him sane. And Levi knew that. That's why he was always there for Erwin after missions. The commander had to keep up a face in front of his soldiers, but in front of Levi, he could let himself go completely.
Erwin wasn't sure how long he was in the tub for, but soon enough, he was completely cleaned of blood and filth, with a fluffy towel wrapped around his waist. He made his way to his bedroom, leaving Levi in the bathroom where he was draining the tub and cleaning up a little. After drying himself off, he pulled the covers back and crawled into bed, sighing contently as his head hit the pillow. Obviously, they didn't have beds outside the walls when they were on missions, so this had been the first time he had slept in his own bed in over a week. Nuzzling into the pillow, his blue eyes watched as Levi entered the bedroom and shut the door.
"Will you join me in bed?"
A snort left the shorter man's nose. "What do you think?" Levi rolled his eyes, beginning to undress. Sky blue locked on storm grey and soon enough, Levi was nude, his clothes neatly folded and set on Erwin's dresser. He slowly stalked over to the bed and crawled in beside Erwin, tangling his limbs with the taller man's. His pale fingers traced the muscles of his lover's chest, and their eyes stayed on one another. There was silence between them for quite a few minutes as they just touched each other, lazy kisses being pressed here, and hands touching there. They didn't need to talk; after being stuck outside for as long as they did, it was nice to have the peace and quiet, and the comfort of each other's touches. Surprisingly, Levi was the first to break the silence.
"I love you."
Those three small, simple words made Erwin's heart melt and he pulled Levi closer to himself, burying his nose in his dark locks.
"I love you too, Levi."
It was nights like these that made Erwin believe he could make it through life without completely falling apart; nights where they simply laid together, touching, feeling, content to be in each other's arms. These nights, they could forget about the outside world, and simply concentrate on the here and now. Touching always took the pain away, and even if it was just temporary, it was far better than nothing.