Chapter Text
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When Mimi announced she and Jyou were officially dating, it had been a huge announcement.
It felt very different from when Yamato and Sora started dating. The two were both very private about their feelings, and mostly just let everyone find out on their own; Not denying it when asked for a confirmation.
But this was their outgoing Mimi after all, so it was no surprise that for her and Jyou's relationship, it came as a big announcement at their most recent reunion.
They were all adults now, all with their own things to do, so meeting up like this was rare. The big news made the occasion feel more special and everyone in the group had clapped and congratulated the couple; Yamato even commenting a teasing “Finally!” at them before getting softly elbowed by Sora.
Jyou had become beet red, but Mimi had laughed along and threw her arms around Jyou's shoulders, shaking him with delight.
Taichi is of course also genuinely happy for his friends, but found himself flitting his view over to Koushiro the moment Mimi made the announcement. Looking at him, Koushiro was composed, clapping with a smile on his face and offering his own word of congratulations for their friends across the table.
Seeing him smiling, Taichi finally turns to the rest and teasingly looking at the two (though more pointedly at Jyou), and asking who asked who out first.
There were a few nods from the others and someone remarked saying they bet it was Mimi—Surprisingly enough, Mimi spoke first but said;
“Actually, Jyou-senpai asked me out first!” She said looking proud, clinging to Jyou's arm.
Everyone egged them to go on, and Jyou recounted how he had broken up with his girlfriend after he entered med-school, his girlfriend not really wanting to keep up a long distance relationship with him moving to another city for school.
Studying kept him busy (when did it not), and he rarely had time for social things. One of the few constants in his social life was Mimi's regular texts to him, even though she was often abroad.
Where the distance soured his relationship with his girlfriend, with Mimi the distance instead made them grow more fond.
After a few years of this, Jyou had decided to ask her out the next time they got to meet in person. Mimi didn't hesitate for even a second before she threw her arms around Jyou, crying and laughing all at the same time.
It was at this point Mimi pipes up in the story, and declares that she'd actually had a childhood crush on Jyou for a long time. Even Jyou looks surprised.
“What? None of you ever noticed?” She exclaims looking at everyone back and forth.
She finally calms down, and says sincerely;
“I've always admired Jyou-senpai. For all my sincerity, I never really told him how much I really did. And no matter how much time I spent away from the group, he was the one person I always felt I could easily fall back into rhythm with no matter what we were facing next.” She smiles at Jyou.
“I was actually devastated when I heard he'd been dating someone just when I decided to move back to Japan and finish high school here. I—I thought I lost my chance. So, when you finally noticed me, and asked me out, I...” and Mimi begins to cry.
Jyou is immediately over her and pulling her into a hug.
Everyone continues to watch the couple with fondness as Jyou whispers assurances into Mimi's hair “That he's sorry—” and that “He's always noticed her.”
It was at this point that Koushiro quietly excused himself saying he needed to take a phone call, and no one but Taichi seemed to have noticed.
They finally continue with their evening as the food arrives, and Taichi leads a toast in celebration of Jyou and Mimi finally getting together.
–
The Kamiya siblings were walking home together in relative silence before Hikari finally breaks it, speaking her thoughts aloud;
“I wonder how Koushiro felt about it.”
“Huh?”
“Oh. Nothing.”
Taichi looks at his sister who keeps walking with her head facing forward, a neutral smile on her face.
Taichi himself has been rolling the events of tonight in his head and decides to also voice his thoughts to his sister.
“I guess after what everyone's been through, it just makes sense, I guess? Everyone's pairing up.” He says looking forward too.
This time it was Hikari's turn to look at her brother curiously. Taichi continues;
“Sora and Yamato, Jyou and Mimi, You and Takeru--”
“Oh come on now, Takeru and I aren't dating.”
She gives an exasperated smile after that, and Taichi can't be sure if it was meant for him or Takeru.
“What about you?”
The two siblings actually stop now and they face each other.
“What about me?” Taichi asks.
“Did you never have anyone you had feelings for?”
The question seems innocent enough, but Hikari had always been more perceptive than most and her brother was an open book. Her eyes bore into his in that calm and wise way she looked at people despite her young age.
“I mean... Not really, I think?”
“No girls you ever had a crush on?”
At this the two continue walking, the cool night air helping make the atmosphere feel a little more casual again.
“I dunno. I guess I never even really felt that close enough to a girl for me to feel that way, really.” He laments.
“What about Sora?” His sister asks genuinely inquisitive.
“Oh man. Don't tell her I said this; But I think my kid brain back then always just considered her as 'one of the guys'? I certainly treated her that way and I did get into arguments with her about it when we were in elementary.” He laughs a little at this and scratches his cheek.
“I see.” Hikari laments, then after a bit of consideration, she finally asks;
“What about boys?”
Taichi once again stops walking at this, and he looks to be in deep thought. Hikari looks back at her brother, not sure what to make of this reaction. She knew her brother well and he'd always been an open book to her; But there were always some feelings her brother hid that not even she could see.
For all his courage and honesty, Taichi did not actually wear his heart on his sleeve as most people thought. He hides his insecurities and deeper feelings, and often withdraws into himself when faced with his darker thoughts. It's probably why he was such close friends with Yamato and Sora despite most people thinking he and Matt were complete opposites.
Taichi for his part was in deep thought. He'd always gotten along with boys more than girls, with the few girls in his group being an exception of course. Most of his childhood he just thought that it was normal to like boys more than girls because he was a boy and girls were girls.
Eventually that changed to people telling him that it will come, he's just too young, or he just hasn't met the right girl yet.
When Yamato and Sora started dating, people thought he'd be jealous of Sora “choosing” Yamato over him. His soccer team especially convinced themselves of that.
He himself questioned it as well. Was he jealous? And if he was, what of? He didn't see Sora in that way. She was his best friend and he never had any dreams of being more. If anything, was he jealous of Sora and not Yamato? A bit, but not because he liked Yamato in that way either. Maybe he just felt left out when their trio now had a couple in it.
He'd always been happy for them of course. He didn't even particularly mind technically being the third wheel because the two had never made him feel like that. It probably helped too that the two were very private about their relationship.
And it wasn't as if they were the only ones in their group Taichi was close with. After all, there was...
“What about Koushiro?”
Hikari looks surprised at the answer and just looks at her brother with mild confusion.
“Are you saying you like—”
“He also doesn't have a significant other in the group.” Taichi looks at her with a neutral face as he continues; “I was thinking about that... How you mentioned to me before that Koushiro had a crush on Mimi when we were in high school.”
Hikari nods, not interrupting her brother.
“Well, I was looking at his reaction when Mimi made the announcement. He didn't seem fazed at all. So I'd been wondering... What did he feel?”
Hikari finally gives a smile again. Her brows looked a bit worried, but her smile was soft and her expression warm. Her question hadn't been answered but she seems content either way.
“Why don't you ask him?”
–
The next day Taichi finds himself walking to Koushiro's apartment. Out of everyone, save perhaps his sister, he was the one person Taichi still saw regularly.
It's not that either of them weren't busy. It was quite the opposite really, especially for Koushiro. It was precisely why Taichi made it a point to visit whenever he could, and maybe make sure Koushiro hadn't locked himself away in his office for days without sleep (again).
Koushiro had been a constant in his life for so long now that he can't imagine life without him. Sora was his best friend, but so was Koushiro. and he finds himself reflecting on how he was never actually comfortable with the idea that Koushiro liked Mimi.
At that time in high school when it was all happening, he didn't pay Koushiro as much attention because of it. He'd been dealing with his own things, and he didn't want to feel like he was getting in the way. Though usually whenever things go south,
Koushiro would be the first person Taichi would go to.
Koushiro had been the one person he felt he could be his most vulnerable to. More so than Sora. And he'd seen sides of Taichi that even Hikari has not seen.
He frowns a little. Koushiro had seen some of the worst sides of him. Moments he wasn't proud of. And still Koushiro stuck by him. Believed in him more than anyone else. Yet knew also when to push back and tell him no. If it weren't for Koushiro he'd...
He rode up the elevator to the correct floor and knocks on the door as he lets himself in. He's been here so often now, and sometimes Koushiro is so caught up in his work that he doesn't even hear the doorbell. So Taichi has a key and the freedom to come and go whenever he pleases.
Not hearing a reply, he walks into Koushiro's office, who of course is plastered to his screen, typing away on his keyboard.
He could just barely see his red hair peeking over the edge of the monitor, meaning he'd probably finally cut his hair again recently. They both had infamously unmanageable hair, but where Taichi refuses to cut his, Koushiro kept his short and out of the way. If it ever got longer again, then Taichi knows Koushiro probably got a little too much into a project he was working on again.
He smirks as he approaches silently behind him. Taichi pulls one of the bottles of cold oolong tea he brought with him from the bag, and slowly brings it up to Koushiro's neck—
“Eaaaugh! Taichi-san! I told you not to do that!” Koushiro whips around in his computer chair, holding a hand to the back of his neck where the cold bottle touched him.
“I would if you would stop to notice me actually entering your home. Besides, you probably really need this. Bet you've been sitting here all day working despite the summer heat bearing down on everyone outside.” Taichi turns and leans on the desk, as he properly hands Koushiro the drink, smiling all the while. “It's important to keep hydrated.”
Koushiro takes the drink with a polite smile and thank you. He begins conversation as he screws the top off.
“We saw each other just over the weekend you know. I'm not in any poorer health since you saw me then.” Koushiro grins back and takes a swig of the cold oolong tea.
Taichi's smile grows bigger and he pulls the rest of the things he brought out of the bag and presents it to his friend.
“True. But I also have no proof that you've had a real meal since then.” He stands and puts the food down on the coffee table in the middle of the room. “Let's eat!”
If left alone, the young genius would probably have a diet consisting only of convenience store food and whatever else he finds at the bottom of his fridge. Taichi for his part (after years of his mother's terrible cooking), has made it a point to learn how to cook for himself. And so he finds himself always packing some of the newest dish he's cooked to bring to Koushiro to make sure the other man is actually eating a proper meal.
It's routine for them at this point, and they sit down together to eat. They chat amicably about how the rest of their week went and fall into comfortable conversation as they ate their meal. Dinner for Taichi, and probably a very late lunch for Koushiro.
After they finish, Taichi manages to pull Koushiro away from his work longer, assuring him that whatever it is, he's done enough for the day.
And so they find themselves standing outside in the balcony, overlooking the now very dim, near-night, twilit sky; Koushiro drinking another bottle of oolong. Taichi isn't sure if he drinks too much that stuff, or he does so because he doesn't drink enough in general.
He watches his friend for bit as Koushiro continues recounting some things from work. He listens politely, quietly, even if he doesn't understand most of it, and nods along at appropriate intervals. Mostly, he's just enjoying the sound of Koushiro's voice.
He has his own small apartment near the university, but he still goes home to his parents and Hikari on most weekends. But that means that during the week, his home life is fairly quiet. Coming here, always feels more home than his apartment, and he's perfectly content to listen to Koushiro talk on and on about things he can't even wrap his head around.
“Ah. But I guess that's just something I'll have to deal with tomorrow. With the way you're staring at me I don't think I'll be able to slip past you any time soon and get back to work.” Koushiro nudges him, and Taichi is brought back to reality. “What's up?” He asks innocently, his dark eyes looking kind but amused.
“Pft. Nothing. Was just thinking about how you can talk about so much stuff I don't get and still I prefer that than being at my apartment.” Taichi jokes back. He just can't help but be honest when it's just him and Koushiro.
Koushiro smiles, then looks back at the dipping horizon.
“That's a sweet sentiment. I think. But it's not any less quiet here either you know. At least when you're not here... And without...”
Koushiro trails off and his smile briefly falls. Taichi simply watches him. He knows how he feels. All too well. It's a big reason for the silence in his life really.
Taichi snaps out of it and looks out into the horizon as well.
“Well, if you want me to come over more often you could just ask.”
Koushiro turns his head to look at Taichi. He doesn't say anything for a while until...
“You could come over more often, yes...”
A pause. A brief moment of hesitation.
“Or you could move in.”
Taichi suddenly turns his head towards Koushiro. Not that he doubted it, but now he's sure that Koushiro was not joking.
“Whoa there. I mean, do you even have enough space for me here?” Taichi tries to keep his tone light.
“That's true. I don't. But to be honest, I'd already been thinking of getting a bigger apartment within the year. Now that I've permanently moved out of my parents' residence, this space has become too small for me. We could simply look for one together. One big enough for the both of us.”
Koushiro's face is neutral, logical, and he looks like he's already given this some genuine thought. Taichi for his part finds his palms getting clammy.
“But... What about... If you get a girlfriend? I mean, you've already been doing so well on your own. If you got a girlfriend, wouldn't she be better if you just want me to cook for you? Heck if I moved in and you got a girlfriend, I would just get in the way.”
“Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Getting a girlfriend is not a part of my plans.”
Taichi can't help but stare. Koushiro had said that with such a neutral smile on his face that... It didn't quite feel right.
“But you... Girlfriends aren't something you just plan to have, Koushiro. Sometimes, things just happen. Feelings just happen. And people form relationships like—”
“Like Mimi and Jyou. Yes, I'm... all too aware of what you're telling me.”
Taichi is a bit taken aback but stays silent, hoping Koushiro would continue.
Koushiro puts down the bottle of oolong on the balcony's edge, and he fiddles a bit with the label, his eyes fixated on it as he finally continues;
“Back in high school... You probably knew that I had a crush on Mimi. I wasn't exactly subtle, and I did see how you looked at me when the two of them shared the news the other day.”
Taichi looked like he was about to jump in, but a small glance from Koushiro, and he decides to simply continue listening.
“I'm truly happy for them, mind you. It doesn't bother me. If anything, all it did was remind me about how foolish I acted in high school. I'm well aware that, people like me, who work too much and who don't easily get along with people... Will have a hard time looking for someone to connect with romantically. Back then, I thought that if I were ever to find love, I'd probably have to find it in the bonds I'd already made.”
Koushiro's face grimaces a little at the memory.
“Somehow to me, I thought Mimi made the most sense. So I obsessed over her.”
The label on the bottle is starting to fall off now.
“I eventually confessed to her. She was kind about it, but told me there was someone else she already liked. The sad thing was, I didn't even feel as bad as I should've, getting rejected. And I think I understand now why.”
The label comes off and flies off with the flow of the breeze.
“I didn't understand her heart at all. I never even noticed her crush on Jyou, or how hard things were for her at the time. And now, everyone's more or less paired up... Everyone except me and you—”
Koushiro's last word falls short as he looks back at his friend. Taichi looked lost in thought. Like he was wracking his brain for something.
“Hey, are you okay, Taichi-san? I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I didn't mean to strike a nerve if that's—”
He puts his hand on the brunette's shoulders, and it was at this point that Taichi finally turns to look at him. The way he's staring so intensely makes Koushiro fall silent once more.
“What if... What if you were right?” Taichi lets out, his eyes flicking to the ground and back.
“What do you mean? Right about what?” Koushiro's not sure why he's nervous, but he keeps his hand on Taichi's shoulder, more to assure himself than his friend.
“What if you're right... That where we'll find love... Is in the bonds we already have?”
“Taichi-san...?”
Koushiro doesn't realize how strong his grip on Taichi's shoulder had gotten until he feels Taichi's hand on the back of his neck. Taichi is looking him straight in eyes. Koushiro for his part, keeps looking back and forth between him and his hand.
“You can pull away if you want.”
With that said, he can feel the soft pressure of Taichi's hold as his face begins to lower itself onto his.
He's not sure at what point he'd closed his eyes, but he now had an iron grip on both of Taichi's shoulders as their lips met in a soft, chaste kiss. Taichi's lips were gentle, slow, but unwavering. It was solid and confident, and his hand on his neck gripped him in place, gentle and firm all at once.
Taichi slowly lifted his head, away from Koushiro's lips, and looked for his friend's reaction.
Said friend, still had a vice grip on his shoulders, his fingers lost in the fabric of his now very crinkled shirt sleeves. (He didn't mind.)
Koushiro's face was almost as red as his hair and he was blushing from ear to ear, mouth agape.
You can't put the cat back in the box, and the dam already broke free... Or whatever the saying was. Taichi had already done what he did, and he wasn't going to stop now.
Winding his arm from Koushiro's neck to around his shoulders, and his other hand snaking around the shorter male's waist; He pulls him into another, deeper kiss, cutting Koushiro off just as it seemed like he was finally about to say something.
Koushiro felt thin, but sturdy against him as he held him close. Both their hearts were hammering in their chests, and Taichi felt a deeper need to envelope him even further, tightening his hold around Koushiro's waist, his head tilting to kiss him firmer.
Koushiro's lips were soft and slightly trembling, but he also made no indication of moving away or breaking the kiss. They were so close, he could practically feel his eye lashes on his cheek.
He moves his arm to try to steady them a bit better again, but instead heard a clatter.
Koushiro immediately breaks the kiss as if snapped free from a spell, and makes a sudden reach for the oolong bottle they knocked over; the light plastic material threatening to fall off the edge of the balcony.
In his haste he nearly knocks it off completely, but Taichi's reflexes kick in and he catches the bottle just as it tips over the railing.
After a brief sigh of relief, they right themselves again, and the bottle is back safely on the balcony. Koushiro straightens himself again, but Taichi still slightly hovers over the younger male, his hand on the bottle, framing Koushiro with his arm.
“Taichi-san, I... This... This isn't what I meant when I asked you to move in with me.”
His eyes were downcast, his dark orbs looking at the space between them.
“I'm not expecting anything. I just... I thought it would be better if you knew before you asked me such a serious question for real.”
Taichi's eyes were still on him, and he could feel it even without looking up.
“For how long? How long have you felt this way about me?”
A brief silence passes between them before the taller of the two speaks again;
“Since recently? For a long time?”
A small chuckle escapes him. “What does that even mean?” But he still can't bring himself to look up at his friend who'd just kissed him. Twice.
“It means... That I only recently figured out my feelings. But that doesn't mean the feelings haven't been there for a long time.”
Koushiro can feel his face getting hotter. He'd never been in this sort of situation; And never in his dreams did he ever think it would be with his best friend if he ever would have been.
“Hey.”
And from the corner of his eyes, he sees Taichi's arm retreat, leaving the bottle where it sat, and giving Koushiro more room again.
“I told you. I'm not expecting anything. If you really don't like me in that way, I will respond however you want me to. I can pretend this never happened.”
There's a twinge of sadness in his tone. He can tell Taichi is trying to be mature, reasonable, and maybe even brave about this; But he could always tell when there was something more to Taichi's words and feelings that he's forcing down. Years of having been his most stalwart supporter has made him have a keener sense for these things, at least in regards to his best friend.
“But, if there's even a slight chance that you feel the same. Please, can you think about it? If even for a bit? You didn't pull away at any point. I will admit, it kind of gave me hope. So even if there's just the smallest of chances, please don't just reject me immediately.”
Taichi's voice cracks at the end, and Koushiro finally snaps back and looks into his face. The brunette's eyes were glassy, filled with tears threatening to spill, and yet still he had a smile on his face.
It was so gentle, the smile. Full with understanding. Warmth. Telling him completely that he doesn't want to put any pressure on him.
All he wants is a chance.
Koushiro feels his heartbeat fast again (it never actually stopped), and he could hear it in his ears. Seeing his best friend like this, he almost wanted to immediately jump up and hug him. Tell him he accepts his feelings if only he would never have to make that face again. His heart burning for his.
But Taichi was right. He should think about this. No matter what sort of feelings were swirling around in his head now, this was something he needed to decide with more clarity.
After everything he's been through—After everything they've been through; He can't simply jump into this blindly. It could jeopardize their entire friendship. A friendship that was too important to him no matter how lonely he felt. No matter how much he wished to be loved.
“Can you... Can you give me some time to think about it?”
His eyes fall once more. This time he feels Taichi's gaze leave him.
“I'll wait however long you need.”
He feels Taichi give him a gentle bump on the shoulder with his fist, and then feels him walk away, back into the apartment.
He stands in the cold night air of his balcony until he hears the front door shut behind his friend. His best friend.
–
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