Work Text:
I.
The first rose Jake has ever received was given to him in his third year of college.
It was nothing lavish; It was made out of red Japanese paper, folded and rolled artistically around a tin wire. A little fragile – it could easily be torn into pieces with one crush by a hand – as all roses were. But it wasn’t any less pretty than any other rose that Jake has ever seen. In fact, he later would say that it was his most favorite of all.
Jake finds it on his desk during his first day of school for that year, with no note or any clue as to where it had come from.
That is, until Jake turns to the desk on his right where he finds an unfamiliar boy occupying the seat next to him, strips of red Japanese paper in hand that he twists around into shape. On the boy’s table, is where Jake finds the rest of the paper roses.
“Is this yours?” Jake asks, picking up the paper flower from his own table and showing it to the new boy.
The boy shakes his head. “Nah, I believe that’s yours,” he grins, showcasing his pearly white teeth. “Well, it’s yours now.”
“Oh,” Jake replies, a bit taken aback. He examines the origami in his hands fondly. “Thanks, I guess?”
The boy nods at him, amusement clear in his eyes. “I hope you like it.”
“Well, I do like roses,” Jake smiles, before going back to his seat, taking the paper flower with him.
He finds out later that day that the boy’s name is Lee Heeseung, and that wasn’t going to be the last time he’ll be getting paper roses on his table.
II.
Eventually the paper roses turned into real, fresh roses, and Jake doesn’t only find them on his desk.
Sometimes he finds them in his locker. Or in his school bag. Or in the passenger seat of Lee Heeseung’s car that was reserved just for him. Or on the vase atop the table inside the restaurant that Heeseung frequently takes him to.
He finds it every morning on the vase on top of the dresser beside their shared bed.
Most of all, he finds it in his boyfriend’s hands when he comes home to Jake from a long day of work.
And Jake loves it.
He loves how Heeseung, no matter how long it took for him to come home, would always go out of his way to make sure he gets to bring home a bouquet of roses.
Three roses to be exact. Heeseung tells him each rose stands for a word.
I. Love. You.
His boyfriend’s cheekiness always makes Jake giggle.
“Will you ever stop giving me roses?” Jake would often ask his boyfriend while they lay cuddling on the bed, with the former’s head resting on the latter’s chest.
Heeseung would chuckle in response, and Jake would feel his chest vibrate from where he rests. And he’ll close his eyes, settling into the comfort of his boyfriend’s arms.
“Never,” Heeseung would say, planting a kiss on his forehead.
Jake hums. “But what if we break up?” He’d follow up weakly.
That’s when Heeseung would pull him closer, so his lips could get close enough to Jake’s ears to whisper.
“That won’t happen. I’ll always come home to you.”
III.
Lee Heeseung stops coming home to Jake three days before their 5th anniversary.
When Jake wakes up that Saturday morning, there are no roses on the bedside table. Not even on the vase on top of their kitchen counter. Nor on the doorstep like the few times his boyfriend would be in a goofy mood and pretend to hide behind the big potted plant to surprise Jake when he opened the door.
All that's left are the wilted roses from two days ago. Jake had grown a habit of only throwing out the older roses when his boyfriend gave him new ones.
That used to be everyday, hence there was never a time they ever had a wilted rose in their home. He didn't know that would be the first of many days without Lee Heeseung's fresh roses.
He remembers sitting on the couch, wrapping himself in a blanket as he felt cold. It was raining hard outside, and he could occasionally hear the distant roaring thunder. He remembers looking anxiously at the wall clock, whose hands now struck midnight, and yet there was still no Lee Heeseung pushing the door open and holding out the usual bouquet of three roses.
Or just Lee Heeseung entering the door. He wouldn’t mind the lack of roses. He just wanted his boyfriend to come home.
And because Lee Heeseung had promised him he would always come home, Jake waited.
He waited for a whole night.
IV.
But one night became two nights. Then it became five nights. Then it became a week.
A month.
A year.
A year of waiting for Heeseung to come home.
But Lee Heeseung never came home.
And all the roses have long withered away.
V.
The first and the last time Jake gives Heeseung roses is when he visits his boyfriend for the first time since that night.
It has been a year since Heeseung stopped giving Jake flowers.
It’s also been a year since Jake locked himself in their shared apartment, saying he needed to stay there in case Heeseung came home.
And this is the first time in a whole year that Jake has had his hands on a fresh bouquet of roses.
But perhaps, this will also be the last time ever.
He doesn’t think he would ever be able to look at roses the same way again knowing they were the reason he wouldn’t ever be able to see his boyfriend anymore.
Because Lee Heeseung’s car had crashed after slipping down a slope on a rainy Friday night while on his way to a flower shop.
Lee Heeseung lost his life for a bouquet of three roses.
Very similar to the ones Jake lays down on his grave.