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Maybe Tsukasa wasn’t the most socially aware at times, but he knew there was an underlying current of worry in his relationship. As Tsukasa holds his chopsticks and feeds Rui his lunch, he glares. He glares bullets at Rui’s seemingly content enjoyment, trying to read his face.
Something was bugging Rui. He was certain of it. Maybe if Tsukasa glared enough, the answer would magically appear on his boyfriend’s face.
“Tsukasa-kun? There’s no need to glare daggers at me, you don’t have to feed me if you don’t want to.”
“What? That’s not-!” Tsukasa stuttered, realizing his face must be far easier to read than Rui’s. “I don’t mind at all! We do this every day!”
“Well, clearly, something’s on your mind,” Rui began, straightening his posture from his previously relaxed disposition. “Would you like to talk about it?”
Fuck. Tsukasa should’ve been the one to ask that.
“I’m fine! Are YOU okay?”
“Hm?” He tilted his head in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You just seem,” Tsukasa began, trying to justify his worry. “When we’re alone together, you seem off in your own world!”
“Ah,” Rui said, pursing his lips together.
It was strange. Everything was perfect. It should’ve been perfect. It was mostly perfect. Rui was perfect. He was doting, kind, affectionate. Since they got together, Rui made it his mission to make Tsukasa laugh as much as he could. It was only when they were alone together that Rui seemed to carry this aura of hesitation. Nothing more than a hug and a chaste peck on the lips. Whenever Rui would touch him on the shoulder or back, he would pull away just as quickly. Like Tsukasa was made of burning hot coals and if Rui touched him any longer, his hand would burn.
“I know we haven’t been together long, but if I said or did something that made you uncomfortable, please let me know! You can confide in me, Rui! You can tell me absolutely anything.”
“I know,” Rui’s tense face melted into a softer smile. “It’s not you. Don’t worry.”
Ah. So this was going to be like pulling teeth.
“Rui,” Tsukasa said, stern. “Talk to me.”
“It really is nothing. I just,” Rui began. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to cause you any concern. I worry I may make you uncomfortable if I’m too forward, so I’ve been hesitating. You’re very important to me, Tsukasa-kun, and the last thing I’d want is to cause you pain in any capacity.”
“I’m not hurt! I’m just worried about you, Rui. I’m not going to run off!”
Rui smiled and even Tsukasa could tell it was strained. Oh, his heart ached in response. That’s no good. This is no good at all. Rui shouldn’t feel like this. Rui shouldn’t be scared of Tsukasa running away. He puffed his chest out, confidence sparking through his veins. He’ll convince Rui there’s nothing to be scared of, even if it kills him!
“Rui, kiss me right now!”
“I-I beg your pardon?”
Tsukasa refused to elaborate further, instead, he allowed his actions to speak. He leaned forward, lips puckered, cheeks puffed like a pufferfish, and eyes wired shut from sheer nerves.
And he heard the sweetest sound in response. A giggle.
“I don’t know what I was afraid of,” Rui sighed lovingly, meeting Tsukasa’s lips with a peck of his own.
It was sweet. It was too short.
“Kiss me again!” Tsukasa demanded, keeping his lips pursed and tight.
“We can’t kiss for very long if you’re doing it like that,” Rui explained with a laugh.
Tsukasa’s cheeks flushed but he refused to back down. “What on Earth are you talking about? I’m doing it right!”
“Tsukasa-kun.”
“What?!”
“Was I your first kiss back during our first date?”
It was Tsukasa’s turn to stutter, brain glitching from the sudden and embarrassing question. “Of course not! A star like me is irresistible! I’ve had plenty of experience!”
“Oh ho, I’m not so sure I believe you. You kiss like a fish.”
“FISH? YOU ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL. HOW DARE YOU EVEN ALLUDE TO THE IDEA THAT I’M NOT AN EXPERT IN ALL THINGS ROMANCE?”
It was Rui’s turn to be offended, although Tsukasa doubted the honesty behind his wounded expression.
“No, how could you? I was honest with you, yet you can’t do the same with me. I laid my heart out to you! How can my lover be so cruel?”
“Fine! Yes, you were! Happy?”
“Not at all,” Rui began. “As your director, I can’t let such inexperience slide.”
Director?
He scooted close. Tsukasa gulped. Their hands grazed one another when Rui leaned in close.
“I suppose I’ll just have to show you how.”
“R-Right! Yes! As long as you kiss me again, I have no problem improving said ski-“
“Tsukasa-kun, is it okay if I touch you?” Rui interrupts, hesitant.
Something in Tsukasa jolted. He had never felt like this before, not around Rui. A thundering heartbeat filled his ears. Rui’s voice was low, hesitant. Yet something about it just made Tsukasa want to listen to every word that drawled out of his mouth.
“You don’t need permission.” His voice barely managed to crawl out of his throat.
Rui didn’t respond. Instead, he held Tsukasa’s chin with his index and thumb, tilting his head upward. Their lips were mere inches apart.
“I need you to promise that if you’re uncomfortable at any point, you’ll tell me, okay? I’m going to try something with you. Please trust me, like you always have.”
Tsukasa gave up on his voice, formerly loud and boisterous, now reduced to something he didn’t recognize. He nodded vigorously.
“Open your mouth a little.”
Tsukasa wordlessly obeyed and Rui closed the gap.
Oh, this was way better than what they were doing before. His hand instinctively shot to Rui’s tie, pulling him close, and deepening the kiss. Rui’s hands found their way to Tsukasa’s neck.
The only thing Tsukasa can hear right now is the thundering boom of his own heartbeat, echoing through his entire body. Then Rui’s tongue brushed against his own, shutting down Tsukasa’s ability to even form a coherent thought.
And then Rui pulled away.
“Much better, no?”
Tsukasa felt like he just walked through a whirlwind, completely lost and dazed. He already missed the feeling of Rui touching him.
“Much better,” Tsukasa agreed like he was lost in his dream.
“Tsukasa-kun, can I ask you something weird?”
He nodded again, still trying to get his brain back together after Rui systematically took it apart with just a single kiss. Where did he learn something like this? Was his director just that skilled?
“Has anyone ever fucked you before?”
The world flew off its axis. There’s no way Rui asked him that.
“W-WHAT?”
“Have you ever had someone touch you like this?” Rui continued, hand crawling underneath Tsukasa’s uniform. His cold fingers drew goosebumps behind its trail, as his hands climbed up Tsukasa’s skin.
“What are you talking about-?!”
“Your director asked you a question, Tsukasa-kun. You can use your words.”
How was he supposed to do such a thing when Rui was so close? So close to his neck, he could feel the clouds of his breath on his skin.
“You can do it.”
“No, no, of course not. I-I haven’t got the slightest idea on how to do that stuff.”
Rui rewarded him with a kiss on the neck, making him jolt underneath his touch.
“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t teach you?”
Was he in heaven? He had to be. They should’ve done this forever ago, instead of dancing around each other! Tsukasa began to lean in for another kiss before Rui shot up.
“Ah! Lunch is over! We’re about to be late for class!” Rui yelled in mock panic.
That piece of shit.
“SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU EVER CARED ABOUT THAT?”
“Education is extremely important, Tsukasa-kun, what kind of example would you be setting for your kouhais if you were late for class?”
“YOU BASTARD. YOU- YOU- YOU-“
There wasn’t a word in any language that could describe Tsukasa’s fury. He should’ve known Rui was just teasing him, messing with him like he was dragging a dollar bill on a string.
Reluctantly, Tsukasa accepted Rui’s hand and was pulled up to his feet.
“You look displeased. Is something the matter?” Rui asked with a knowing grin, brushing Tsukasa’s hair behind his ear. So now he wanted to be touchy! He swatted his hand off of him.
“Go to class!”
“Aww, there’s no need to be so rude! Farewell, my star!”
Rui kissed him on the cheek and they ran down to their classes together.
Rui must’ve found a way to control Tsukasa’s thoughts. Whatever the teacher was explaining flew right over his head, he couldn’t think about anything other than Rui. His head was like a broken record, repeating the scene on the rooftop over and over. His pants grew tight at the thought of Rui’s hands roaming further down, touching him all over, where he’s never been felt before. His whole body tensed up at the mere idea.
What kind of example WAS he? The responsible upperclassman was reduced to nothing but Rui’s plaything. And he let him! His head slammed on his desk and he groaned in frustration, unaware of his classmates’ confused stares.
It’s fine. It’s all okay. It was the end of class. It’s fine. His longing would dissipate to the back of his mind before he even knew it. Then the chime rang, freeing Tsukasa from class. He, of course, shot up from his seat and rushed out the door before any of his fellow classmates could even grab their bags.
“Ah, Tsukasa-kun!” Rui greeted. Before Tsukasa could even respond, an arm snaked around his waist as he was pulled to Rui’s chest.
“GAH! Rui?”
“How about we watch a movie tonight at my house, hmm?”
“You’ve got some nerve to ask me to do anything with you after your cruel stunt on the roof!”
“That’s a shame. It would’ve been nice, just you and me.”
You and me. Tsukasa and Rui. Star and Director.
Tsukasa wasn’t that dumb. Just the two of them. Even he knew what Rui was alluding to. He hoped he was right. Or maybe Rui was in his head again, messing with his brain and making him hope for things he’s never hoped for. Rui’s hand was low. God, it was so low. It burned through Tsukasa’s uniform. He hasn’t been able to think about anything else.
“I’m picking the movie,” Tsukasa scoffed.
The walk to Rui’s home was uneventful, as the boys walked hand in hand. Rui excitedly explained his newest ideas and inventions. While Tsukasa chimed in, he found himself quieter than usual. Rui released his hand, stepping forward to unlock the door to his house and Tsukasa held his breath when his boyfriend explained it’d just be them tonight. That his parents won’t be home until tomorrow morning, something about a science convention. He wasn’t listening. He wanted to but he couldn’t. All he could think about was the implications Rui strategically dropped like bait. Something hot and heavy twisted and contorted in his gut ever since lunch; building, rumbling, threatening to make Tsukasa burst at the seams.
“Are you just going to stand there?” Rui teased.
“Ah! No, sorry!” He responded, shaking his head to snap out of his daze. Rui’s hand lead him inside the house.
The living room was surprisingly neat and tidy. Tsukasa’s tense body sat on the couch, hands balled up on his pants.
“Here’s the remote. I believe my parents have a couple of streaming services we could pour through.”
Movie? Oh.
“Rui, can we-”
“Pick a movie, Tsukasa-kun,” Rui commanded. His hand was on his thigh, his thumb brushing up and down. His hand was on his thigh. Tsukasa gulped. Rui wanted him to pick a movie. His thumb was rubbing circles on his inner thigh and he was supposed to pick a movie.
The selection was a blur. He absentmindedly clicked the first movie that looked vaguely familiar to him.
He couldn’t take it. He couldn’t even think.
“FUCK.” He shot up from the couch before turning to face Rui. He collapsed on his knees, eyes wide and pleading with the boy who was still sitting on the couch.
“Tsukasa-kun?” It was Rui’s turn to look surprised for once.
“Please, Rui. Please fuck me. Please, I’m begging you, I couldn’t stop thinking about you today. Please touch me. Please, God, please, please, please. Director, I’ll do anything you ask, but please teach me. Please fuck me. I can’t take it-”
“Tsukas-”
“Please, please just touch me-”
Rui grabbed his tie and yanked him forward, their teeth colliding in a reckless kiss. It was dizzying. Tsukasa kept himself from collapsing, steadying himself by pressing his hands on Rui’s thighs. Still on his knees, Tsukasa was mesmerized. More. He needed more.
Rui took Tsukasa’s hand in his own, guiding him to his growing erection. Tsukasa’s hand palmed him through his pants, as he cursed under his breath.
“Look at what you do to me,” Rui’s voice was barely above a whisper. Fuck. It was big in Tsukasa’s hands. He could feel its throbbing through the fabric.
Tsukasa decided to take responsibility, messing with the belt buckle until it came undone, and letting gravity drop Rui’s pants. Tsukasa sank to his knees yet again, pulling his boxers down with him. Rui’s cock sprung to life after being freed from the confines of his clothing. The light of the movie was all that illuminated the living room when Tsukasa took his cock in his mouth and bobbed his head as much as he could.
Rui groaned at the sensation, his fingers entangling in Tsukasa’s hair. While Tsukasa lacked in experience, he made up for it in earnest. Tsukasa’s hand wrapped around the base of Rui’s cock, while Tsukasa worked to get as much of Rui in his mouth as he could. His tongue slid along the bottom of Rui’s dick, hearing more moans from his director.
“Tsukasa-kun, you never fail to impress,” Rui began, his voice thick from arousal. “You’re doing so well, my shining star. You’re such a natural.”
With each word of praise, Tsukasa grew more determined, as his mouth continued to bob up and down Rui’s thick cock. Eager to please, Tsukasa’s eyes gazed up at the boy sitting above him. His head was thrown back off the side of the couch, while another groan escaped his lips. Precum dripped on Tsukasa’s tastebuds, as his eyes grew watery from his hard work.
“Keep doing that, Tsukasa-kun. You’re making me so proud.”
Proud. Rui was proud of him? The idea made his own pants tighten at the thought.
“It’s like you were meant for me.”
“I am,” Tsukasa thought. “There’s no one else I want to be with other than you.”
“Tsukasa-kun, I don’t want to cum just yet,” Rui warned. “Not until I give you what you were asking for.”
Obeying, his mouth slid off Rui’s dick with a final pop. Finally, finally, finally, Tsukasa was pulled to his feet by his tie. Being led to the nearby table, Tsukasa's pants were yanked to the floor with reckless abandon, while his shirt and boxers quickly followed suit. His dripping cock stood high in the air, begging for attention. Rui grabbed a nearby bottle of lotion and as his fingers were coated in the liquid, his eyes meet Tsukasa.
“Please, please,” Tsukasa found himself muttering. There was an air of urgency to every action the two did; Tsukasa laying on the table, Rui lifting his legs up and placing them on his shoulders, and his well-coated fingers beginning to press against Tsukasa’s hole. Tsukasa’s lip was bitten raw by his own doing, anticipating what he’s been dreaming of all day.
“Relax. It may sting, but my star can be brave for me, right?”
Rui didn’t even need to ask. Tsukasa was dedicated to every command his director gave him, and he internally swore to himself that he wouldn’t let Rui down. His fingers sunk into his hole, slow, far too slow for Tsukasa’s desperation. The stinging sensation followed as Rui’s fingers sunk deeper inside.
“God, look at you,” Rui admired, his free hand caressing Tsukasa’s bare chest and stomach. “You’re the most beautiful man on Earth. You’re so gorgeous.”
Tsukasa didn’t trust any response, his hands gripped on the corners of the table until his knuckles turned white, while his teeth sank into his already swollen lip. With each drag of his fingers in and out, Tsukasa fought off moans.
“Let me hear your pretty voice. Don’t deny me of that privilege,” Rui said, while his fingers dragged along Tsukasa’s prostate.
“Please fuck me! Please!” Tsukasa yelled, growing too impatient for Rui’s prep. If it ached because of his impatience, he’ll brave it for his director. He’ll love it for his director too. It couldn’t have been worse than the ache of living without Rui’s touch for all these years. Rui was just as weak as him and just as impatient. When his fingers pulled out, his cock, covered in lotion, quickly replaced their absence, pressing the tip against his entrance.
“Take a deep breath. Tell me if you want me to stop.”
Why would Tsukasa ever want that? The ache as Rui sank into him was better than he could’ve ever imagined. Impatience. Rui’s thrusts wasted little time as Tsukasa gasped at the sudden movement. Deep strokes shook him to his core, dragging along his prostate with each push and pull. The only sound filling the room was their gasps and the sound of Rui’s pelvis slapping against Tsukasa’s skin. It hurt in the best way possible. Tsukasa lost total control.
“Fuck, fuck, Rui, more! Faster! Please!”
Rui obeyed him, leaning down so he could meet Tsukasa with a desperate kiss. Tsukasa’s arms wrapped around his back, nails sinking into the fabric of his cardigan. Rui’s hips continued to slam mercilessly into Tsukasa. The kiss broke apart as the two continued to unravel into their own desperation.
“You don’t know how long I’ve been dreaming of this.”
Tsukasa probably would’ve agreed if he was at all coherent. “Mmph, so good! Fuck, it’s so good!”
Rui’s hands held onto Tsukasa’s hips with a bruising force, nails digging into his skin, as he continued to fuck into Tsukasa’s warmth at a brutal pace.
“You’re even tighter than I imagined,” Rui barely managed to groan out. “You’re so perfect.”
Tsukasa’s moans broke down into tears. He lost the ability to speak, think, anything. All that mattered was the two of them. All the anticipation, all the longing finally began to untwist and unravel before Tsukasa finally burst at the seams.
“Fuck, fuck! Fuck, I’m cumming!”
He was dizzy, seeing stars. The rush of pleasure flooded every atom in his body as Rui’s pace grew erratic, continuing to fuck Tsukasa through his orgasm. Then he burst, as ropes of cum dripped inside Tsukasa.
As they both caught their breath, Rui collapsed on top of him. Dazed, Tsukasa groaned at the sudden weight. Tsukasa came back to his senses, panting, vision blurry, as he finally began to process what they did together. The movie’s flickering light filled the dim room.
Oh, right! The movie!
“Rui,” Tsukasa said, exhausted. “We never finished that movie. Maybe we can watch it in the bath?”
“On your phone?” Rui asked, still panting from the strenuous exercise.
“If I drop it, it’s your responsibility to repair it!”
“Why is it mine?” Rui asked with a laugh.
“Because it was your fault I was so… excited!”
“Fine, fine, I’ll happily take responsibility. But you had fun, didn’t you?”
“No!”
“I can’t believe my beloved is a liar!”
“CAN YOU GET OFF OF ME ALREADY?
And the movie played on, neglected, as the two boys bantered, before running off to the bathroom, hand in hand, giggling at nothing in particular.