Chapter Text
Leonard was on cloud nine. He was on a mixed shore leave slash medical conference trip on a perfectly safe and entertaining planet with good company. Said good company was eyeing the room with him while rubbing the small of his back, the action hidden from the rest of the room in their booth. The only thing that could make it better was if his colleague's bondmate was with them, but she gave them an interesting challenge that made it almost as fun. They could have a third join them for the night, but only if that person agreed to allow the bond to stay open during the fun. Leonard wasn't sure if they'd succeed, but he got to have some great sex and companionship either way.
"Do you see anyone you are particularly interested in, Leonard?" The smooth, silky, baritone voice of Leonard's Vulcan friend, Daav, whispered into his ear. "My bondmate requested that you choose, as she is curious to know your taste."
"Mm, she knows my taste. Tall, dark-haired, and good-lookin'." Leonard's lips quirked up in a grin as he turned his head to kiss Daav's cheek. He then put his glass to his lips, sipped his drink, and dropped his free hand to stroke across Daav's under the table. "Let's see… The crowd here's a bit young for my tastes—oooh, I think I spot another Vulcan!" He could just make out the neatly trimmed dark hair and pointy ears, only to see a familiar face as said Vulcan turned around toward their table. "Ah, hell, it's Spock."
Daav's hand on Leonard's back went from gentle to possessive as it wrapped around his hip and dragged him closer. "It will be fascinating to see how human his reaction is."
Leonard whipped around and raised a threatening eyebrow, "What does his human side have to do with that?"
"You will see, Leonard. He can hardly compose himself." Daav relaxed back into the booth and took Leonard with him to rest against his chest. "I encourage you to not engage with him."
Leonard, who was feeling mighty uncomfortable with this development, was praying to all the gods and stars that Spock would not come over. Unfortunately, like Spock often did, he came over just to spite him, but something was… not right in his friend's eyes. Leonard immediately moved off of Daav and looked Spock over critically. His balance wasn't perfect, his stride wasn't even, and his breathing wasn't normal. "Spock? You okay? Do I need to get my medkit?"
"What are you doing with him?" Spock bit out with what felt like barely restrained anger, and Leonard wasn't sure who the question was aimed at.
Daav straightened and returned his hand to Leonard. "Ah, Spock. I have not seen you since the learning center. Are you well?"
Leonard turned around and glared at Daav. "That sounds a helluva lot like teasing, Daav." He only turned back around when he got a small nod of acceptance. "I have the same question, sans attitude. But to answer yours, we're friends."
"Colleagues," Daav corrected.
"I don't typically go out to bars and do… things with my colleagues, Daav." Leonard rolled his eyes and waved it off. "Now are you okay, Spock? You look a little green in the gills."
"I request that you leave with me." Spock was breathing harder now, and his jaw was tense. "Now."
Leonard didn't even need to see that to know he was out of sorts; Spock didn't take the idiom bait. However, Leonard wasn't about to be told what to do for no good reason. "Spock, all due respect, and I am worried about you… Unless you are offering to take me back to your hotel room and do what Daav and I were plannin' to do, I'm stayin' right here."
Daav casually pressed his chest against Leonard's back and trailed those long, talented fingers over his psi points. "Why would Leonard choose a half-breed over a real Vulcan? It would be entirely illogical."
Leonard shot out of his seat so quickly that he hit the table, spilled his drink, and ran into Spock. The last part was good because it made it easy to grab Spock and yank him out of the bar by his sweater. Leonard was so goddamn embarrassed and hurt, his face was turning red, and he could feel the heat in his ears and the stinging in his eyes. But that wasn't nearly as painful as the look in Spock's eyes when Daav said what he said. That cut deep, and Leonard refused to waste a single breath on a Vulcan purist, even if it meant losing the best sex he's had since…forever, really.
When they were far enough away that Leonard's legs started to ache, he slowed down and looked around for someplace they could go. He'd been to this city before and vaguely knew what was in the area, which was a lot. He was also thankful that this planet frequently had guests working all hours of the day and night, which meant everything was open all the time. So, figuring a Vulcan place would be a Bad Idea, Leonard took a detour to one of his favorite comfort food places on this side of the galaxy. "Have you ever had fried okra? I think you'd like it."
Leonard and Spock didn't say anything else. They didn't even talk to the server and placed their orders via console instead. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but Leonard knew it wasn't helping. Water—iced for Leonard and lukewarm for Spock—and whisky was delivered to their table, though neither took a drink. After their appetizers came out, with the plates breaking their silence, Spock was the first one to speak up. Although Leonard thought he said the stupidest thing he could possibly say in this situation: "I apologize for disrupting your evening."
"No, don't be. I'm sorry I futzed around with someone who had those godawful beliefs." Leonard grimaced and stabbed his okra into a ramekin of rémoulade. "Can't fucking believe I literally got in bed with that. I feel disgusting." Spock tensed, and Leonard noticed. "Sorry, I swear if I'd have known—"
"He put his fingers on your psi points." Spock's hands clenched into fists. "You would permit him to…." He apparently couldn't finish that thought. Was it really so bad?
Leonard cringed internally, probably externally, and tentatively reached out to squeeze Spock's bicep. "If it makes ya feel better, I'd permit you to, too. An' his permission is permanently revoked. His wife's, too, if she—" Spock inhaled sharply, and Leonard knew he'd only made it worse. "I don't know what to say, Spock." A laugh slipped out. "Actually would be a helluva lot easier if you melded with me, but I know how personal that is for y'all."
Spock's fists abruptly jerked down, but they did not make contact with the table. "For you to permit such… Such… With him, and me…."
Shit, he can't even talk in complete sentences. "Spock, I've been stranded alone in an alien ship and then an alien planet with you. I've literally held your heart in my hands on two occasions. Why wouldn't I permit you to do something like that if it helped you to actually understand how I'm feeling?"
"And him?"
"I've held someone's brain in my hands while he held that same person's heart. He may not have one, but he's a genius heart surgeon. Hell, I wouldn't know half as much about Vulcan physiology if not for him teaching me," Leonard said with a defeated shrug.
Spock settled at that, but his settling looked like resignation, and he barely touched his food. "How did you two meet?"
"Battle of Vulcan. He helped me handle the huge influx of Vulcan patients and we just hit it off. Professional at first, o'course, then friendly, then more than a little friendly." Leonard cringed and moved his water to grab his whisky. "I'm so sorry, Spock. Who is he to you? You don't have to answer, but—"
"Daav bullied me as a child. Relentlessly. I was nearly expelled from the learning center when I attacked him." Spock looked down, clearly ashamed.
Leonard couldn't take it anymore. "I know I ain't normally touchy, but I'm a little drunk, an' you're lookin' like a kicked puppy, and it's making me want to hug you. Can I?" Spock nodded, and Leonard scooted across the corner booth bench and wrapped an arm around Spock's shoulders. He squeezed Spock and then scratched the back of his neck…like he would a puppy. It wasn't his smoothest move, but it was what his hand wanted to do, so he did it. "Thank you for gettin' me outta that, Spock."
"You are welcome in my hotel room and I will endeavor to perform the acts which you and Daav were planning."
"Don't be stupid, Spock," Leonard said as he flicked his friend's ear point and scooted away. He got a glare, which was progress. "It wouldn't be consensual. You're emotionally compromised an' all that shit." He reached for his whisky and downed the rest of the double shot. "And I'm drunk. Doubly nonconsensual."
"Yet you would consent to a mind meld."
Leonard frowned and turned to face Spock fully, even though that meant leaning on the table to get in front of him. "How do ya mean?"
"Did he not inform you of the importance of sexual or romantic partner melds in our culture?" Leonard shook his head, and Spock audibly sighed. "It is a level of intimacy beyond sex that requires a deeper consent. He took advantage of you."
Leonard felt himself getting irritated, though that might be the shot and a half of expensive whisky he tossed back disagreeing with his stomach. "Just 'cause I don't know what it means in your culture don't mean I didn't have a voice in all this. I consented to the melds, Spock. Repeatedly. I enjoyed them. I'm going to miss them. I won't miss him, but I will miss that intimacy, even if I don't feel it as deeply as y'all."
"I miss it as well." Spock actually sank his face into his hands. "I cannot comprehend that he received this gift from you." He said something Leonard didn't understand, but it sure sounded like a curse.
"Spock, look, I know you're lonely, too. Bein' lonely sucks." Leonard reached over and returned to scratching the back of Spock's head. "I say we finish up our meals here, go back to our rooms, sleep on it, and talk about things in the morning. I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn't attracted to you mentally and physically, but I ain't lyin' when I say I want to wait and do things the right way if we're gonna do things."
"You are surprisingly direct, Leonard."
"You look like you need it right now."
"Indeed."
"That was also my not-so-subtle way of sayin' you better eat."
The two finished their meals quietly, split the luxury items tab, and returned to the hotel together. Their arms were linked, though neither mentioned it, and their only conversations were about the stars that Spock could name and the shops that Leonard liked on their walk back. They separated with a nod and went to their individual rooms. Leonard crashed on the couch with a bottle of beer, which turned into a couple more.
—
Leonard grimaced at the shrill chime of the computer alerting him to a guest outside the door. His mouth tasted like ass, his breath probably smelled worse, and he was obviously still drunk because he let whoever the hell it was inside. Leonard's paranoid brain warned him that it could be a dangerous person, but his alcohol-addled brain said it was fine. Instead of questioning his logic, Leonard rolled onto his stomach and snuggled back into the pillow, hoping the potential murderer made it quick.
Well, the potential murderer made something quick, but it wasn't murder. Whoever it was went straight for his back, massaging up and down his spine and then out across his ribs. Leonard groaned into the pillow and relaxed even more, with his brain turning off and his body turning on. Frankly, Leonard didn't care who it was, although he suspected it was Jim being a decent human for once. Probably heard from Spock that he got massively, indefinitely cockblocked—albeit for all the right reasons—and he wanted to make up for some aspects of the loss. It felt good, and he wasn't being murdered. Nothin' wrong with a free massage.
Unfortunately, that massage turned south quickly. The mysterious hands started making passes at Leonard's ass, and he swatted them away, only for them to return more forcefully. "Dammit Jim, that ain't funny."
"I am not Jim, Leonard," Daav practically purred into his ear as he changed from massaging to holding Leonard down. "I was disappointed in your irrational behavior last night, but I forgive you for your human nature. Your kind are prone to folly."
Leonard didn't attempt to jerk out of Daav's grip but did put up his shields as best as he could, utilizing both Sarek's tactics and Daav's. He'd never been more thankful to Spock's dad for helping him through the Battle of Vulcan because, knowing what he knew now, Daav's methods might even be a sham. "Get off me, Daav. I don't fuckin' fuck with bullies and race purists."
"My dear Leonard, you are not strong enough to shield me so do not attempt it." Daav moved one of his hands to stroke the back of Leonard's head. "Your actions have angered my bondmate as well."
"You mean your actions angered both of us. This is all your fault, Daav. I woulda been pissed for a bit, but if you just apologized to Spock and admitted you were wrong, I'd have still come back with you." Leonard wasn't proud of it, but he wasn't about to lie when he had a touch telepath practically sitting on him while he was only wearing his skivvies. Even if Sarek called him a quick study, he'd never tried to keep up a shield with someone actively trying to get around it. "Why do you even want me when you think humans are so beneath you?"
"You are amusing and pleasurable and my bondmate is fond of you." Daav shrugged and gripped Leonard's hair tightly. "Now lower your shields, Leonard."
"Fuck that, fuck you." Leonard winced as his hair was pulled in the not-fun way but somehow managed to keep a grip on his shields. Maybe he wasn't as drunk as he thought, or the adrenaline was working overtime, but either way, he was thankful. "Computer, alert Spock in room seven-two-six of a medical emergency in this room. Ignore all other commands that are—"
Daav shoved Leonard's face into the pillow for so long that he was worried he'd pass out. He couldn't maintain his shields. Daav knew whatever he was feeling right now, so he sent him the worst feelings he could muster while dizzy. This didn't go over well because he was just shoved further. "Cease your struggling, Leonard. I am still the same man you enjoyed coitus with on thirty-six separate occasions. I treated you well. I treated you fairly. As a point of fact, I indulged you and spoiled you."
Leonard's brain was starting to pixelate, and his ears started ringing. Normally during breathplay, this would be where Daav let up. But he didn't. He kept going, kept pressing despite Leonard not struggling, despite Leonard's shields being down. The pressure wasn't let up until he started seeing black, and he barely heard the door wrenching. Leonard rose as soon and as quickly as he could, which did not help his vertigo and took a few deep breaths before growling out his threat: "Daav, if you don't leave right now, I'll sick Sarek on your ass, and you'll never work in medicine ever again. I don't want to do that to your patients, so leave. Now."
"Running to your father for protection again, I see. Unable to handle your own affairs. Goodbye, Leonard." Daav must have been talking to Spock for the first part, which made sense. But at last, he left, and thank god Spock let him.
Leonard collapsed onto the bed and turned his head away from Spock, breathing hard, trying to catch his breath and make the world stop spinning. His eyes were pinched shut, and his head was pounding from both the alcohol and the oxygen deprivation. "Can you… my med kit? In my duffel." His voice was rough but not nearly as rough as it would be if Daav chose another way to suffocate him. He could hear Spock rummaging, and then he felt the kit touch down in front of him while a heavier weight settled in behind him. Spock put a hand on Leonard's back, and Leonard inadvertently flinched.
"I apologize, I will—"
"No, no," Leonard nearly shouted the first and whispered the second. He sniffled, fished out what he needed from his kit, and hypoed himself to hell and back. Once he could breathe and see again, he rolled over to face Spock and pulled up the covers somewhat. "Thank you for saving me, thank you for not killing him, and thank you for not leaving."
Spock nodded and reached out toward Leonard's face, only touching him when he gave the nod. Leonard didn't know what he was expecting, but he felt his cheeks pulled down as Spock checked his eyes, probably for burst blood vessels, shit. "I can perform simple tasks with the medical tricorder and regenerator. May I?" Leonard nodded again, and Spock got to work, finishing up about ten minutes later. "I was unaware that you and my father maintained your relationship since the Vulcan Genocide."
Leonard shrugged. "He does what he can to check in on you without actually checkin' in on ya, keeps me updated with Vulcan medicine and whatnot. We sometimes have tea when we end up in the same place and he's not busy with you or work-related folk."
"Fascinating."
"Ooh, no," Leonard winced. "That word coming outta you normally irks me in a playful way, but now it just sounds gross, let's not use that word for a while."
"Understood." Spock's fingers clenched and unclenched in his lap, which distracted Leonard, though he didn't know what to do about it. Well, he did know what he wanted to do, but Leonard didn't know if it was in response to being attacked by an intimate partner or whether he wanted to do it for himself. "I can feel you thinking."
"I can feel you thinkin', too," Leonard groused. He thought he had the upper hand with that quick retort, but his mouth decided to vomit up some more words that took the win right out from under him. "Can we go to your room?" Dammit, Lenny.
"Considering the damage to your door, it would be prudent to change locations." Spock barely finished his sentence before collecting Leonard's things and packing them neatly into his duffel. "We will have to make a report to the hotel over the incident in order to explain the door. Are you prepared for that?"
Leonard shrugged. "It ain't a lie to say I was having a panic attack, was stuck, an' you couldn't get in to provide me aid without rippin' the door open." He fiddled with the blanket and brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "I really don't wanna talk to anyone else about this, Spock."
Spock disappeared to the bathroom, then the kitchen, then he did a circuit around the rest of the room, looking for anything and everything of Leonard's to stuff in his duffel. The weight of what happened was starting to settle on Leonard, and he pressed his forehead onto his knees, trying to drown it out. Unfortunately, his actions also blocked him from seeing Spock, so he flinched when his friend came back to his side and reached out for him. "Dammit, I'm sorry, Spock." He wanted to bury his face again, but that would only worsen it.
"Your apology is unnecessary, Leonard. You know as well as I do that this is a common, instinctual reaction to what you went through." Spock sat down at the end of the bed and lifted the duffel. "You are completely packed. What would you like to wear?" Leonard shrugged, and Spock pulled out his loungewear. "Are you typically unable to decide what to wear or—"
Leonard glared at Spock as he jerked his tee shirt over his head. "Don't be an ass, Spock." But Spock was right, even if he was being snarky. Maybe he wasn't even being snarky, and Leonard was simply overthinking it. He sighed, grumbled out an apology, and finished changing. "This might be affecting me more than I thought it would."
"You were attacked by an intimate partner, Leonard. One cannot predict how it will impact them." Spock cautiously sat down next to Leonard again but did not reach out. "Are you certain you wish to go to my room?"
"I mean, I said it without thinkin' about it so probably." Leonard shrugged and got out of bed, slipping on his room shoes. "Well, lead the way, I guess."
Spock led them back to his quarters and cleared a drawer for Leonard's stuff while Leonard just stood there awkwardly. Eventually, he motivated himself to empty his duffel neatly into the first drawer as Spock worked to clear more space, which Leonard moved to, and they repeated until his entire bag was emptied. This was the first shore leave or conference he'd ever emptied his duffel, and it felt good.
When Spock was done, he stood stiffly with his arms behind his back and avoided eye contact. "If it is not too troublesome, I request that you take a shower before sleeping."
"Yeah, understandable. I probably smell like a brewery." Leonard chuckled half-heartedly and headed for the bathroom.
"It is… Not that." Spock sounded uncomfortable. Tight, restrained.
"What is it, then?" Leonard leaned against the door frame to the bathroom, halfway through crossing his arms and winced. "Goddamn fucker bruised me, didn't he?"
Spock stepped toward Leonard but aborted the motion just as fast, settling back into his not-so-restful parade rest. "Indeed." He looked at the ground, and his weight shifted from right to left. "You are aware that Vulcans have heightened senses, correct?"
"Yeah, which is why I'm pretty sure I smell like a brewery to you."
"While that smell is, indeed, offensive, it is not the main offender currently." Spock's eyes flicked up to Leonard's and then back down. "Vulcans have scent glands in their hands."
Leonard bristled. "How do I wash it off?"
Spock walked quickly to the bathroom, barely waiting for the door to swish open, grabbed a bottle—presumably from the shower—and came back. "This is a wash formulated for Vulcan body oils and pheromones. Apply liberally, then wash with your own. I recommend applying moisturizer afterward as the additional washing may strip your skin of its natural oils."
Leonard took the bottle and fiddled with it. "Can you take a picture of my back for evidence and then run the regen over my bruises? I don't wanna see 'em."
"You need not worry about evidence, I will provide witness if and when you choose to press charges." Spock got the regen unit and waited for Leonard to turn around and remove his shirt. Leonard found himself unable to do that, and Spock prompted him to go into the bathroom and face the mirror. Seeing Spock, who was behind him, eased his irrational fears enough for him to whip off his shirt. And barely a second later, Spock took in an audible breath. Fuck. "I confess that if these bruises were visible when I stepped in, Daav would not have been able to walk away."
Leonard's brain whirled with a few different gut reactions to that statement, with his mouth spitting out the first one. "We usually played rough, I don't think Daav would have done that if we were gentler with each other." He immediately regretted it, then regretted regretting it, and pressed his hands down onto the counter to ground himself. "I'm not handling this well, am I?"
"There is no correct way to handle this, Leonard. As such, there is no metric for 'well.' You are handling it how you are handling it and I am here to support you in whatever capacity you deem me worthy." Spock stayed in Leonard's peripheral vision while he ran the regenerator over the bruises.
"I still have to go back to the conference and be a functional human being; I present tomorrow." Leonard cursed as Spock ran over a particularly deep bruise on his back. "I'm gonna try and think about my words before my dumb ass says them from now on. That said, I might ask you an uncomfortable question when I get out of the shower. You can say no to it. Also, you can be snarky. It's weird with you bein' so agreeable."
"I do not believe I can do that, Leonard."
"That's the spirit!" Leonard turned around when he heard the regen unit click off and slapped Spock on the shoulder. "I'm gonna get that shower now, I feel like shit and probably smell like it, too."