Chapter Text
On a usual and illuminous day the sound of birds greeted the strength of the mighty wind. With only a few people on the streets, a number of cars passed by in a mysterious way. The sun and the clouds played along fairly, balancing the weather and the mood of the people.
In Aldera Junior High, kids came out of the entrance as it was already lunch time. From the outside, there was enough space for numerous people to share and enough for conversations to be spread. It looked like a playground without slides, one that could be criticized as the loneliest despite the company or the calmest despite the voices.
Some kids from the same classroom sat together on a bench, eating their lunches and happily talking face-to-face. Some others took this time to walk around and admire the trees that they see each day, never getting tired of the birds that stood in their nests. Some others sat on the concrete-like floor contently with their lunchboxes, and some others sat on the grass.
Most people were together, and some others alone but satisfied either way. The gates were shut but the kids were able to visualize the street and the cars from outside. One that excluded these stereotypes sat on a bench with their legs on the seat, writing on a notebook that was named 'Hero Analysis for my Future'. They were alone and calm. They mumbled to themselves, and wrote in an articulated way data of Kamui Woods.
"Kamui Woods, the No. 7 Pro Hero known for his outstanding Arbor quirk. After becoming the No. 7 Pro Hero he has made changes to his hero costume by adding wooden rings on his shoulders. Though, it is still a small change. He is very muscular and his fighting style is usually a medium-range support. Despite his quirk being a tree log, known for being a breakable material, as a quirk it can be seen that it is very strong for both defense and offense. However, I doubt that if it breaks it can also harm his body physically. I also wonder how long he can spread his logs..."
Deku endlessly mumbled to himself, getting intrigued as a result of his own comments. After writing a bit, each pause he took was for him to take a piece of his sandwich that sat on his side. Each time it obviously became colder, but that didn't bother Deku as he didn't really notice.
"You two are really just two damn fucking extras. It's not my fault you forgot to bring your food, bastards. As if I'd lend you mine!" The blonde-haired boy spat as he exited the building with two of his classmates. He remained his hands in his pockets, mindlessly looking for place to seat with his penetrable eyes.
"Ah!" Deku yelped but quickly shutted his mouth with his palms, letting his notebook land on the ground. He turned to his right and saw Bakugo walk to his direction. He desperately searched in his yellow backpack's pocket and grabbed a bottle of pills. Then, he rapidly stood up almost tripping on air and left his belongings behind.
As Deku ran to the nearest bathroom behind the school, he was sweating and breathing heavily, along with his face slowly turning warm. His eyes were struggling to see clearly and his mouth barely covered his face which was a mess.
With those people that he had to meet as he ran to the bathroom, he avoided eye contact. Deku opened the door to the male's restroom inside and closed it. He slided his back on the door until he sat on the cold floor. As he took out two pills from the bottle, he became impatient. Finally, he took two and proceeded to swallow them abruptly, making him choke concerningly for a few seconds.
Deku neared his knees to his face and remained in the bathroom as he began to tear up. He had recently received serotorin and anti-depressant pills from a doctor's prescription, shocking not only him but his mother. It had been that Deku developed, apart from strong feelings of admiration and tenderness, intimate feelings concerning to one person. It was concerned on that person considering the fact that they were the reason for his illness.
Ever since Deku was a kid, he had always admired and looked up to Kacchan. From his strength, confidence, and persistence, when his explosive quirk appeared, it gave him more reasons in becoming a hero. That admiration and inspiration slowly turned into something even significant when Deku unlocked different experiences and extended his knowledge. Meaning, experiences that concerned on the development of their relationship and opportunities that could feed his desires.
That slowly turned into an obsession, an unhealthy one. For that reason, his doctor recommended him to avoid anything related to Kacchan and instead calm himself with the pills. If the pills were not taken when needed, Deku would either go through a stage where he is completely submissive or a stage in which he is very aggressive. Either way, the effects would always be an increase in his hormone levels that would make his mind go blank.
What made this case confusing was the fact that Deku was obsessed with Kacchan in spite of his attitude. Kacchan was an arrogant and rude person, but it was secretly what turned Deku on. It was not that Deku liked it but some inevitable for his deepest feelings towards him. He had started to think that he was some sort of masochist.
"No..no... I don't like Kacchan. It is only my condition that makes me believe I do." Deku reassured himself through tears. He had also become embarrased for it. Deku was fully sure that the linkings for Kacchan were something he could not control, rather than something he decided.
"Ah! Wait!" Deku realized that he had left his most valuable item in the open: his notebook.
Without a second thought, he stored his pills in his pockets and rapidly opened the door of the bathroom. Through loud stomps he barely ran to the bench he was at before. He passed various new people and avoided to jostle. He finally came to the same scene with his hands on his knees since he had used all of his speed. Alas, it left him fully helpless as he saw Bakugo and his friends on that same bench. However, from far away, he could not notice his striking backpack.
Deku turned his back around and placed his hands on his forehead as he felt nauseous. It was a disappointing response because he had just taken his pills. How come it can not invalidate anticipated triggers?
'Think! Think about something!' Deku vaguely convinced his mind. By assuming, he had thought to think of something that contradicted Kacchan but something as a replacement. Because, if he wanted to get rid of those feelings by imagining a vile Kacchan, it would just turn him on. Therefore, he pictured girls, and sometimes girls with bikinis or something similar. It was the least he could do to calm himself. He had even considered this condition his quirk for its potency.
Now that Deku was clinging into pelicular thoughts, it was like a superpower that enabled him to move forward. He slowly walked towards the three boys from behind the bench. They were loudly conversing. Deku lowered his body and crawled on the grass. He then tried to get his body under the bench, but as he did that he started to breathe faster once he noticed Kacchan's shoes. It was something stupid, so instead he envisioned it as his friend's, tricking his reality. Deku inspected the concrete floor after the bench, checking whether his notebook remained on the ground.
"There's a new game in the arcade machine, Bakugo. It's been so long ever since you've hanged out with us. What have you been doing these past weeks?" Bakugo's friend who had the quirk to extend his fingers asked. "Idiots! I've been working out my body for U.A.! I'm not like you losers who just play video games everyday!" Bakugo insulted them.
"Hmp! Bakugo, you're lucky we're friends with you. You're just too rude to everyone." He replied offended by his words.
"Same, but it's true. Bakugo is a very responsible guy after all. Even though he hasn't even applied to the mock exams, he has already been preparing himself months before." His other friend admitted, siding both reasonably.
Deku resumed his search, blushing after hearing Kacchan's voice but rejecting his feelings afterwards.
It was there, opened as it was left after its fall. Deku sighed from relief that no pages were ripped and his heart's pace relaxed. Just when Deku was about to reach it, Bakugo's hand took it while he sat on the bench. Deku quickly yanked his own hand by force, from fear that it was seen. He got off his crawling position and sat up while his friends laughed.
"When we sat here I noticed this. What the fuck is this supposed to be?" Bakugo honestly questioned. "Hahaha! Can't you see? It says 'Hero Analysis for My Future'. And it's Midoriya's!" The finger-extender claimed as he pointed with his finger. "What?! No way that quirkless wants to be a hero! What do you think, Bakugo?" The other replied and wondered.
Deku distanced himself from the guys as he feared Kacchan's reaction. However, he made sure to listen what he had to say. Bakugo had trouble replying as he was drowned in thoughts. His stare obssesively remained on the writing. 'No way that fucking Deku hid this from me! He wants to be a hero, as if!'
"That damn nerd... He won't be a hero. He can't be one. He'll die if he tries!" Bakugo angrily yelled before he almost burned his notebook. Deku was saved by the bell seconds after and hid behind a tree. Everyone started to pack up and some others ran to dispose of their items.
"What are you going to do with it, Bakugo? Are you going to give it back?" The comprehensive guy asked him as the three of them stood up, grabbing their bags. "Shut up, idiot. I'll keep it." He answered him without looking. Although, he got a glimpse of Deku's backpack and proceeded to kick it aside.
Deku became dizzy so he stood still behind the tree, getting a few stares of female students. He blushed when he noticed and ran to get his backpack.
"Oh no... Kac- he has my notebook now..." Deku whispered to himself. "Where am I going to take notes? Now how would I copy everything that I wrote into another notebook? What if Kaccha- he takes a look of all of the pages? What if I can't become a hero without it?!" Deku overthought as he kneeled on the floor and grabbed the bench's seat. Frustrated, he closed his eyes and waited for everyone to enter the building before him.
---
After school, Deku remained in the classroom for everyone to leave before him. Luckily, Bakugo wasn't present on his last two classes, considering the fact that they were in separate schedules. Tomorrow he had English last period with him, which made him really nervous, even debating whether to not go.
Deku gingerly exited the classroom, looking at both sides to not cross with him. He walked the hallways with fear but he really wanted to get his notebook back. For that reason, he had thought of whether reaching him indirectly or contacting his mother. He needed it since it was something very much important to him.
The halls were quiet and fortunately short. The only thing off was the silence and the cold atmosphere. Of course, this was because he had waited 40 minutes for everyone to leave, so that was why it was so empty. Deku even informed his issue to his teacher, hoping that he would've comprehended. And he did, he allowed Deku to stay those minutes in the classroom doing homework while the rest went to their homes.
Now, Deku reached the exit, but when he saw Kacchan and his other friend through the window standing in front of the gate, he couldn't help but wish to throw up. The conflicted feelings troubled his mind. Deku turned at the side and ducked to hold his mouth and stomach. He had to resist any other intruding thoughts. After stabling himself, he ran back and passed the hallways he had been in. He planned on leaving the building behind the school: in the P.E court.
As well as running, Deku was wondering why he was trying to reach him out apart from the notebook being the reason. He was sure he would've burned or destroyed it, but from the looks of it, it was something more. Maybe he wanted to beat him up or blow it up in front of his face. Other than that, maybe it was something to exacerbate the situation for his own good.
Deku reached the P.E court and admired the intense feeling of isolation and freedom. The basketball court was enormous. It surprised Deku since, being a middle schooler, he could not use it. Because of the myriad of space that the roof provided, when Deku ran to the doors of the back of the court, it felt like it took minutes. The only sound in that isolated place were from his squeeking red shoes.
When Deku was barely opening the heavy door, he fastened after hearing voices. "Where the fuck is he?!" Bakugo abruptly asked as he was nearing to the basketball court. "I don't know, if he isn't in the classrooms or the bathroom then he must be hiding." His comprehensive friend informed.
"Ergh!" Deku struggled but gave up as he noticed shadows from behind. He decided to run at the left and hide behind the metalic stairs without making noise. This was very dangerous, too, since at any time they could fall on top of him. He closed his eyes and his tembling mouth while he neared his knees up to his chest. He stared to sweat very much and breathe faster. His body was shaking.
"Deku..." Bakugo called coquettishly with his gripped-explosive hands as he walked towards the middle of the court. What Bakugo did not know was how effective this method was. He didn't know Deku's medication or what was up with him. But his calling even made Deku's mind blank, worsening his state.
"Where are you?" Bakugo called him again in such a tune. Deku gave up on his hands to cover his ears instead. He gripped his teeth in such a way that almost made his lips bleed. He tightened his eyes in a way that made him believe he would become blind.
He shook uncontrollably as Bakugo's shoes traveled on the floor. And when they stopped, he opened one eye to instigate.
"You think he is here? I don't know, but it's very quiet." His friend admitted desperately. Bakugo lowered his hands.
"Shut up. We haven't even checked this place thoroughly. Besides, can't you see? Look at that door. The locks are unlocked. If this place was shut down, then someone had come here to open it again. None of the staff would do so. And if a student would then why leave it unlocked without opening the door?" Bakugo explained, shocking his friend due to his thoughtfulness.
"Oh, yeah! Good point." A confused face made his friend, but understood his message.
"He's here, he's just hiding." Bakugo clarified, startling Deku and making him 'eep' silently.
"Deku, if you don't come out I'll blow this notebook up and make it worthless, just like the scum you are!" Bakugo threatened as he gripped his hands yet again. Deku's breath began to be audible, breaths that seemed that lacked oxygen. He had become a little aroused as a result of his threats. For that reason, he crawled back and headed towards the bathroom that was luckily located behind the seats, tripping in the process.
He opened the door, but it made a creak.
"You heard that?" His friend asked. After then, the door was violently shut.
"At the right, our right, the door was opened." Bakugo told him as he ran to the source of the noise. After attempting to twirl the handle until its end, knowning that it was locked he began to kick the door. He banged it with his foot and then tried to explode it.
"DEKU! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, YOU BASTARD!" Bakugo commanded aggresively as he abused the door.
Deku remained on the floor, with his back on the tembling door. His facial features shook as well from fear and resistance. He could not control his feelings. He was scared but excited at the same time. He could not react prudently in this case. Was going inside the bathroom the best choice?
"Bakugo, wait! Don't be stupid and use your explosions on it! If you break the door you'll have to pay for it! Or we could get into serious trouble!"
"Shut up! Here, take this shitty notebook-"
"What's with all the noise in here?" A delicate teacher concernedly asked as she entered the court. She had her hair as a bun and beautiful glasses. Along with that, She had long white sleeves and a black tight skirt that reached her knees. She had the ideal look for a teacher.
"I-I'm so sorry! It's just that my friend, Um- he-" Bakugo's friend was cut off as Bakugo himself disrespectfully replied.
"None of your business, idiot." With that, Bakugo and his friend were sent to the office despite being the end of school. The teacher had earned such an offended reaction that she did not hesitate and send them there. Their parents were called.
Deku sighed as all of the noise was annulled and that no danger was present. Once Kacchan and his friend were guided by the teacher, he took this chance to exit the school in the front gates. It was such a ride that left him dizzy all the way home. Something that the doctor had informed him was that he could not take no more than three pills each day. So, he had to use them wisely.
If he had by any chance taken more, it would overdose him or unbalance his mood and emotions. Now, Deku calmly walked to his home unbothered and free from worries temporarily. Kacchan was going to get picked up by his mother, so everything was fine.
Deku checked his phone and saw a text message from his mother:
Sent at 3:42PM: "Hey, my baby. Today the doctor told me that you should meet him at his office. He is going to tell you something really important regarding your medication. I will come home at 8PM. Love you!"
Deku smiled but was nervous to meet the doctor again. As he had admitted, he had become embarrased because of his condition. Getting all vulnerable when Kacchan crossed his mind in a special way was something that made him question his chance of becoming a hero. Apart from being quirkless, that was one of his main obstacles.
At 5PM, Deku sat in the freezing waiting room. He was nervous considering the fact that he went to the clinic two hours late. Either way, there was a perfect explanation for it, the only problem was whether to give it out.
"Good afternoon, Midoriya." The doctor said once he opened the door to his office.
"O-oh! Hi!" Deku shyly replied as he stood up from his seat, while another patient left the room.
"Come, it's your turn now." The doctor obviously said.
---
"I-I can't control it without my pills." Deku confessed. "His voice, his steps, his actions, his image, it doesn't matter what it is, if it it's him I'll become helpless."
He finished, playing with his fingers while looking at the floor, sitting down while tearing up.
"I understand. That's what illnesses are: something inevitable and something that we can't control. They are something we don't choose to have rather something we decide to grow. If you practice controlling yourself then I'm sure you'll succeed." The doctor explained to him, with his notepad.
"Wha-? Practice?" Deku confusedly doubted.
"You see, Midoriya. Even if this condition is not lethal to your well-being, it can lead to negative effects to your body and mental state, of course. Taking pills and neglecting your desires are not enough to keep up with your sanity. You should sometimes accept them in the best way, a way that won't be harmful to you or to him."
Deku looked at him for a while, wondering his point or whether he was getting to the purpose of this meeting.
"You should satisfy your desires, Midoriya. That's what I mean." He cleared up.
"Wh-what?! Satisfy? But how? I get dizzy, sweat a lot, breathe faster, and sometimes I even want to throw up!" Deku shouted at the doctor about his everyday concerns.
"Yes, yes, I do understand. What I mean is that if there are moments when you feel that way, and your pills are not present, you should take other measurements. These are having an orgasm." The doctor explained to him calmy, unlike Deku.
Deku started to blush at his response. "O-orgasm?! B-but! I've never done that before!" Deku worriedly said.
"I know it is quite an awkward topic, but in this case you should understand the spot you're in. If we want to avoid harming others and yourself, you should do this in case of no pills.
"But why can't I take more pills?" Deku questioned.
"I've already told you the reason why. Besides, if you constantly react to the triggers then it's not like you would be able to take them constantly as well. You should learn to control yourself rather than depending on them, Midoriya." The doctor ended by saying.
Deku stared at the floor shaking. He felt even more embarrased to the point of questioning whether to switch schools. But he couldn't since he still wished to get his notebook back. Deku thought of today's occurrence unaware of his condition and the doctor who sat in front of him.
"Deku..." Bakugo called coquettishly.
"Deku, if you don't come out I'll blow this notebook up and make it worthless, just like the scum you are!"
Deku's heart beated faster as his body became excited. Mindlessly, he started to smile and placed his hands on his face to cover his fluster. He made weird noises such as a squeak as he couldn't contain his 'happiness'.
"I see..." The doctor replied, grabbing Deku's attention. "With just a thought, you're able to react to him. This is quite concerning..."
Deku's eyes widened as he realized the presence again. He had forgotten about him and had his mind congested with Kacchan. The shock and embarrassment has unpermited him to obssess over Kacchan anymore in that moment.
"Midoriya, I'd like for you to continue our meetings each day. When I notice that things are getting lighter, I would let you to come every weekend. Please, be aware of the prescriptions I'll send you." The doctor finally terminated, at last. He was concerned of his state and was aware of the effects.
But what he did not understand was the strength and how disadvantageous that boy was to that kid's future. In that moment, he could do nothing. So he decided to leave it for the next time.
---
"Thank you" Deku gratefully said goodbye as he closed the door of the building, heading towards home.
These days were going to be interesting.