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Wen Kexing wanted, but he didn't know how to ask.
He wanted when he observed Zhou Zishu at the dinner table, slowly, carefully chewing the meat between his teeth, breaking the flesh, devouring it whole. He imagined himself being crushed between those teeth, swallowed and safely nestled between his ribs forever.
He wanted when he watched Zhou Zishu talk. The way his lips moved, instructing Chengling on his swift moving steps, cherry-red and plush moving up and down, his tongue sliding over them from time to time.
He watched his hands, that milky flesh digging in the soil while planting the bushes in front of the Manor. The way his fingers moved, separately from one another other, working carefully on the hem of his robes.
He wanted, but he didn't know how to ask.
Not long after dinner, while the moon already showed himself to guide all those faraway wanderers through the night, Wen Kexing went up to their bedroom after changing the winter sheets for a cooler pair now that spring was right around the corner. His hair was already completely loose, weakly held back from his face with a long pin he stole from Zhou Zishu's cabinet of disguise. The air was light, a breeze coming through from the open window on the other side of the room.
Zhou Zishu was quiet when he entered, feet moving cautiously around the room to find the bed. Wen Kexing watched his hands work around the tight top knot, managing to loosen his inky black hair to let it fall gracefully over his shoulders and back like a hot spring.
He got into the bed, crawling over the other man to push his back onto the covers and hover over him for a moment, not having thought beyond this spontaneous first action.
Zhou Zishu lazily watched as he attempted to bite into his neck, teeth clicking against each other as he failed to get the flesh between his teeth.
"Ah, get off if the only thing you do is bite", Zhou Zishu said, weakly pushing back Wen Kexing's shoulder and sinking back into the pillow.
Wen Kexing whined quietly, hands roaming over the slim body until they came to halt at his mouth. He carefully pressed a finger against those delicious lips, tinted purple in the moonlight, until Zhou Zishu turned his head in a silent offer. While softly sucking bruises down his bare throat he thought about still wanting, but not knowing of to ask.
.
The next time he thought about it, they were visiting town. Everyone was eager to sell out the last warming winter clothes and stuffed boots and Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu wandered around the marketplace for a while before coming to rest at a small water fountain. Zhou Zishu eagerly filled his empty flask and gulped down the clear liquid, droplets escaping his mouth and running down his chin as he swallowed. Wen Kexing wanted to replace that flask with this hand and not let go until the other was drooling around his fingers, brain beyond able to form words. He didn't know how to ask him for that, not sure what the initial reaction would be.
He let the thought wash away with the rest of the water in the fountain and stood up to continue their shopping trip.
•
Zhou Zishu laid on his back, eyes closed and mouth halfway open, small sounds escaping him as Wen Kexing lazily fucked into him, hands resting on his clothed torso. It was cold out today and after ordering Chengling around to make an open fire for them to cook on in the yard, they let the night greet them as they sat outside on a couple of stones, eating and talking and forming plans for the upcoming season. Chengling went to bed eventually and Zhou Zishu let the fire die out not long after, feeling satisfied and full and tired. Wen Kexing, however, had different plans for him and plastered himself onto his body as soon as they hit the bed.
Naturally, Zhou Zishu didn't move a centimeter, lying there like a ragdoll, only taking what was given to him. Wen Kexing could, if he wanted to. Take his hands and push them into his own mouth for him to choke on. But he didn't. He kept stroking his sides as he whispered sweet nothings into the shell of his ear, wet noises filling the room.
•
The more he thought about it, the more he wanted, and the more he wanted the more he feared that the other would deny him such a thing. It was pathetic, really. There was nothing between them, not a secret, not a shameful thought. It all laid open with Zhou Zishu, so this little thing should be nothing. He should just take it from him. He knew Zhou Zishu would let him, without raising a single question. The difficult thing however, was asking for himself to be on the receiving end. The one lying bare in front of him, eyes rolled into the back of his head, cotton filling up his brain. He didn't usually do that. Be so vulnerable. So open and compliant. But he wanted to. If only he could ask for it.
The following days, this image didn't leave his mind. It consumed him, swallowed him whole and he absently watched his surroundings while being present in a different world, where only he existed and this higher force fogging out his senses with their strengh.
Whenever he got the chance, he launched himself at his husband, sucking and biting, mostly on his neck, sometimes on his thighs. He was more clingy than usual, though careful not to slip into this dangerous headspace where nothing existed and everything laid out on the open.
Of course, his weird behaviour didn't go as unnoticed as he expected it to go. Zhou Zishu was frowning the entirety of their next meal and even Chengling sensed that something was odd. He didn't directly question it, but he and Zhou Zishu had a silent conversation with their eyes while staring down the other man who didn't even register those eyes on him.
That's when Zhou Zishu finally snapped. As soon as he saw the moon rising up in the sky again, he tugged the man along with him to bed, sitting him down like a drunkenard while he looked at him with hazy eyes.
"Lao Wen, what is going on in that strange little brain of yours?", he asked him, his hands rubbing along the outside of his arms, stroking his neck and shoulders in gentle movements.
Wen Kexing smiled at him and leaned forward to bite his neck, not knowing how to otherwise stop himself from falling apart.
"Ow, Lao Wen, do you have some kind of oral fixation? All you do is bite", Zhou Zishu said while grabbing his chin to remove him from his neck. At his words, the others eyes snapped up, clearer than ever, and Zhou Zishu's frown deepened. His right hand was still grasping his chin between his fingers. Slowly, ever so carefully, he moved his thumb upwards until it reached his bottom lip. Wen Kexing's eyes widened and a tiny gasp escaped his lips, almost inaudible. Naturally Zhou Zishu, now with his senses regained, caught it and felt the gears in his head turning.
His thumb pressed down on Wen Kexing's lower lip, his eyes never leaving his face as he carefully pushed his thumb between those lips that instantly parted for him. Wen Kexing's eyes fluttered shut and he whined as Zhou Zishu's thumb went deeper until it lay flat against his tongue, holding it down while his other hand stroked the few remaining strands of hair out of his face.
He kept watching the others chest fall and rise, calm, mind somewhere beyond them both.
"Was this the thing that bothered you, Lao Wen? Could've just asked if you wanted me to put my fingers in your mouth." He chuckled lightly, moving his thumb to let it wander over his lips again, now wet with spit. This was far from the weirdest thing they've done, yet it seemed to bother Wen Kexing more than all the other things they've done in the past.
It was something he could grow to like, Zhou Zishu thought to himself. He carefully stroked Wen Kexing's cheeks, the other man still having his eyes closed as he softly sighed into his touch. He retracted his arm after a while, yawning and feeling the moon shine on his clothed back. He smiled down at his husband and gave his hair a final stroke.
"Let us sleep for now. We will talk about this when you are able to form a coherent sentence", he said then, gathering Wen Kexing into his arms as he layed them down on the covers. Usually it was the other who initiated the hug, always eager to put his arms around the other to lull them into the safe arms of the night. Not this time. With his right hand still on his face and his left around Wen Kexing's middle, Zhou Zishu fell asleep.
•
Come to think of it, this finger-thing didn't come out of nowhere. Now thinking back to their earliest days, Zhou Zishu could remember all those careful touches and eager eyes whenever he put on lip balm for one of his disguises. He didn't think much of it at that time, as it was another one of Wen Kexing's weird quirks that he managed to somehow grow fond of.
Now, with that new revelation out in the open, he wondered why he didn't just ask him for it, knowing very well that he isn't one to deny him from anything. Their bond was war beyond judgement and it would take an actual miracle for him to be even the slightest taken aback by any fantasy coming from the other.
He watched him carefully the next day, moving around the kitchen swift as ever, holding out the giant butcher knife for Chengling to take, the boy nervously ducking away and excusing himself to practice his steps some more. Sighing, Wen Kexing returned to the table, swinging the knife from left to right.
"He's gonna have to learn eventually how to slice open a chicken by himself if he ever wants to provide for his own future family", he said, sitting down on the creaky wooden chair across Zhou Zishu.
He looked down at the knife, grinning. "What do you think, A-Xu? Would that knife make our bed experience more exciting? I'm just a poor poor cannibal looking for my next prey. And it just so happens to be that fine young man willing to make himself bare for me".
Zhou Zishu raised an eyebrow, carefully moving away the knife pointed at him with a single finger.
"Lao Wen, you have a sick mind. But what is it that you really want?", he asked, holding eye contact.
Wen Kexing said nothing, looking away when his ears reddened and returning to the kitchen to finish dinner.
So that's how he wanted to play. He had to take it upon himself to get his husband to talk, and that meant stepping out to actively initiate this new thing he didn't want to talk about.
So that night, after getting in bed ready to rest for the night, Zhou Zishu sat up, one leg over Wen Kexing's middle, straddling his lap and turning his sleeping head for him to face. Then he observed. That sharp jaw, relaxed with his curved lips slightly parted. That soft nose, breathing softly in and out, over to his closed eyes with those long lashes twitching occasionally. His hands found that mouth in the dark, thumb stroking over his lips like that night before, not entirely daring to enter.
Wen Kexing opened his eyes, slowly coming to his senses with that heavy weight on top of him and that strong grip over his mouth. He almost whined out loud. "A-Xu", he whispered, already so desperate he could feel every millimeters they touched over the fabric. Zhou Zishu kept observing, how his eyes were open but he seemed to look somewhere that wasn't this dimly lit room. How his shoulders released that tension and his hands were placed next to his head in an open invite. He started to picture his hands forcing their way into him, getting to explore him like he hasn't ever before. This was new and this was special and Zhou Zishu started to want.
He leaned down to press an open mouthed kiss onto his warm lips, keeping his right hand locked on his chin, grip never loosening. Wen Kexing moaned softly. "A-Xu", he said again, weakly, almost defeated. "Do you want to get the butcher knife?", he asked then and Zhou Zishu chuckled, almost inaudible. "Shut that mouth of yours. Or no, actually, that isn't what you want and that isn't what I want either", he said, and Wen Kexing whined in reaction, hips moving upwards.
Then, he finally moved his thumb over his lips again, feeling them part for him even more. He could feel his teeth, his gums and after that, that soft muscle laying on his jaw. He held his tongue down once again and kept it there in place, his left hand moving to open Wen Kexing's robes.
He mumbled something but with that finger invading his mouth, it came out inaudible and Zhou Zishu had to remove his thumb in order to understand him. He used the time to open and remove his own robes, feeling the cold air hit his naked body before moving to do the same for his husband, lifting his body to be in a sitting position.
Wen Kexing's eyes were hazy once more, face flushed in a crimson red as he gave into his touch like a tamed animal.
"More, please. A-Xu. Give me more. Give me everything. Want to choke on your grip", he said and Zhou Zishu felt light-headed. He started to want even stronger than before. His hands cradled his neck, the hair on his forehead, stroking over his eyebrows, kissing his mouth harshly and leaning over to grab the new bottle of oil from the time they visited the market. He wanted to reach down to prepare himself, but Wen Kexing grabbed his wrist and moved it towards himself. Zhou Zishu gasped, body feeling hot all over as he nosed along his neck and collarbone, sucking kisses here and there, licking over his neck, resting his forehead against his cheek.
"Want to feel you inside me, A-Xu. Let me ride you", he whispered. Zhou Zishu felt a fire burn in his guts and he groaned as Wen Kexing spread the oil all over his fingers, stroking them both beneath the covers in slow, teasing motions. "Don't get the sheets oily, Lao Wen, the stain will never go away", he managed to say between those sloppy kisses and strokes and he felt the man chuckle below him, grabbing a hold of the blanket covering their lower bodies and tossing it on the ground.
Wen Kexing moved to push a finger inside him, groaning softly as Zhou Zishu kept holding him, hands stroking all over his torso, sucking at his nipple, making him whine again. One finger turned into three and after some more time he kept getting impatient, lifting himself up, both arms linking behind Zhou Zishus head. He moved down to kiss the shell of his ear, hot air hitting the left side of his face. "Make me see stars, A-Xu. This body belongs to you." And then he sat down right on his cock, Zhou Zishu moaning at the newlyfound tightness around him, mouth open and gasping.
It had been so long since the last time he fucked him. It wasn't something they talked about. He knew that Wen Kexing was still hurt, deep down and hidden behind the walls of his new life. And Zhou Zishu was more than willing to spread his legs for him every single time. It was how they worked, how they clicked and it was good. Having him on his lap feeling deep inside was also good. It was overwhelming and loud and messy and Zhou Zishu almost forgot how they got here in the first place. He remembered why he kept his hand clean, not wanting to get any of the oil on it. He thought that maybe, Wen Kexing had forgotten too.
He asked him to make him choke and with that thought in mind he took his index and middle finger and pushed them right between the man's teeth, watching him as his eyes went wide, hands almost pushing him away. Then he seemed to calm, letting his eyelids flutter shut while he started to suck on his fingers, tongue sliding between every gap he could find, whine high and desperate in his throat. Zhou Zishu was so entranced by him, he forgot their position for a moment. Wen Kexing wiggled his hips starting to move and he groaned, pleasure rooting deep in his gut.
While seeing Wen Kexing in front of him, so open and vulnerable, he started to want more, completely overwhelmed by this new feeling of tenderness and intimacy. His hand moved to open his jaw further, moving his fingers to fuck into his mouth, making him gag on them, wet and noisy. It was too much, too hot and too messy. He started to drool, tongue not being able to keep up with the way Zhou Zishu's fingers moved, his thumb pressing into his right cheek to lock them in place once more, keeping his tongue down.
Instead of waiting for Wen Kexing to move on his own again, he repositioned them both again, laying him flat on his back, one leg over his shoulder for better access as he started to fuck him properly, hand never leaving his mouth. "Did you have enough, Lao Wen? Is this what you wanted from me? To be held and fucked and kept quiet?"
His eyes rolled into the back of his head, far far gone now, unable to form words that he wasn't able to say out loud anyways with a hand keeping him from talking. The way their bodies clashed together sounded obscene, together with the high whimpers and the soft groans and the feeling of want blurrying Zhou Zishu's senses in a familiar, yet comforting way.
He reached down to place a hand on Wen Kexing's lower belly, almost being able to feel himself through the thin walls of flesh. He went lower, feeling the other's useless cock bounce with every thrust, messily stroking it a few times before he held himself steady with a hand on his chest again.
"Ghhh..", he heard from underneath, slowly smiling to himself as he moved his index finger to tap softly against his tongue, his thumb soothingly stroking over his heated cheek.
He knew the other was close, by the way his whines got louder and faster and he himself felt that familiar heat pooling low in his stomach. He moved them around on last time, Wen Kexing sitting upright on his lap again as he looked for that last bit of strengh to pound into him like it was the last night they'd spend together. Wen Kexing came with a muffled moan, eyes closed in a deep deep frown and body limp like a sack of beans. Zhou Zishu followed right after, spilling into the other in a low groan before gathering the other into his arms again, hot body falling against his chest automatically.
Slowly, he retracted his fingers from Wen Kexing's mouth, feeling him whine while grasping at his hands to keep them in place. Zhou Zishu laughed lightly, his left hand slowly stroking the back of his head in circular motions, feeling like he came from a three-day-walk through the mountains. When he pulled out of his husband, he could feel him leak onto his shin but he couldn't bother, planning on drawing a bath of the both of them first thing in the morning.
His right hand wiped the saliva off on the covers, now too late to still complain about not wanting to get them dirty. He watched as his chest rose and fell in steady motions, slick with sweat and oil and a smell of sex and home.
"Lao Wen, are you happy?", he whispered as he kept stroking his hair, touching the tip of his nose, feeling his heated cheeks cool down. The other hummed, still too far gone to even attempt to talk, grip on Zhou Zishu tight as ever. But his hand weakly grasped his wrist again, moving his hands onto his face. "Still want more?", he said, fond smile on his lips as he, once again, moved two fingers between his teeth, now only keeping them locked there, feeling Wen Kexing visibly relax above him.