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Jake tried not to groan as he pulled up to the house. The naïve part of him which had somehow believed his mother when she promised his return home wouldn’t be too over the top shrivelled up and died as he counted the number of cars parked up the drive. He cut the engine and slumped forwards to bang his head against the steering wheel a handful of times, realising after the fact that that had done nothing to help the splitting headache he had been dealing with all day.
He wasn’t even a week into the mandatory leave they had been assigned as part of their recovery before being cleared to fly again and he was already wishing it was over.
As if almost dying a dozen times wasn’t enough, the other Daggers had all been thrilled by the prospect of going home and had disappeared off one by one until Jake was left at the Hard Deck all alone, staring at his mother’s contact on his phone, wondering whether returning to Texas was really a good idea. She had been thrilled by the news, waffling on about the events his father had coming up and how wonderful it would be to have the whole family in attendance for once. It had been impossible for him not to pack a bag and hop into the car following that conversation, but he had dragged his feet as much as he thought he could get away with just to delay the inevitable.
A sharp knock on the window by his head startled Jake into sitting up. He looked to his left and groaned again at the sight of the smug grin waiting for him, right under the shape of a painfully familiar moustache.
Of. Fucking. Course.
This was exactly what he needed right now.
Not even one moment of respite before the universe started kicking him whilst he was down.
Jake had no idea what he had done in a past life to deserve all of the shit that had happened over the last few weeks, but he damn sure hoped it had been worth it at the time.
He scoffed at the spiral gesture which was done to indicate he should roll down the window and proffered his middle finger instead of doing so. The laugh that earned him sounded through the glass, muffled and yet still so goddamn irresistible. Jake twisted to reach behind him for his duffel bag and opened the car door without waiting to see whether the bane of his existence had had the foresight to move out of the way. It wouldn’t be his fault if someone ended up getting their shins bruised because they lacked spatial awareness.
“Bradshaw,” Jake said as he unfolded himself from the driver’s seat with a false showing of self-assurance. “As I live and breathe.”
“Hi Jake,” the welcome in Bradley’s tone was warmer than Jake had braced himself to expect. His eyes roved over Jake’s body, presumptuously possessive, like he thought he still had the right to look at him in such a way. Jake couldn’t imagine what Bradley saw in the blatantly exhausted demeanour and crumpled uniform he was sporting, but he knew what was coming next and fought back a smile at his predictability. “You look good.”
Jake rolled his eyes and fixed him with a glare that he hoped read as I am good, dickhead, but you don’t deserve the satisfaction of hearing me say that before slamming the car door behind him and tossing the keys in his hand a few times just for the sake of being difficult. Bradley snatched them away from him mid-throw with a loud, exasperated huff.
“When did you get bumped down to valet duty?”
“I didn’t, asshole. You were supposed to be here hours ago, your mom was worried.”
Jake pinched the bridge of his nose, refusing to let anything Bradley said make him feel guilty, “traffic is a thing.”
Bradley grinned like he could see right through Jake and was choosing not to call him out on it, and snagged Jake’s duffel before he could put up a fight over carrying it for himself. He stood in the driveway watching Bradley walk away for a few long seconds with his jaw clenched, desperately not thinking about how easy his escape would have been if Bradley hadn’t stolen his keys, before trailing after him with an ever growing sense of exhaustion.
He had a long few weeks ahead and it didn’t seem like Bradley intended on making things easy for him.
The house was large. Excessively so, considering that they were a family of four. Neither Jake nor his brother lived at home – their parents had relocated to this place a few years back following some strong investments their father had made, Jake hadn’t really been listening when it was explained to him, his twin, Jamie, was the one who inherited their father’s interest in the stock market – but they both had their own rooms, because his mother had hoped that might encourage them both to visit more and wanted them to have their own spaces to unwind in. Which was a nice gesture, Jake supposed, even if he would prefer to be anywhere but here at the moment.
People were milling about all over the place, but Jake was relieved by the realisation that no one seemed that interested in his arrival. It made sense when he actually gave himself the time to think about it. Whatever events his mother had been talking about would clearly need all the minions around. A few busybody types in suits bustled past Jake as he tried to close the door behind him and he had just enough time to regret coming home all over again before his mother caught sight of him and sped down the main staircase with a loud shriek.
“Jakey!” He staggered back a few steps as she slammed into him, arms wrapping around his shoulders so fiercely tight he had to wonder whether she would ever let go again. “Hi baby, how was the drive?”
“Fine.”
“Oh, that’s great to hear.” She pulled back with a wide smile and then stepped back to look him over with a much more critical eye than Bradley just had, straightening his collar and tugging at the sleeves of his shirt like she didn’t approve. “This needs an iron, sweetie.”
Jake fought back the urge to roll his eyes, the barbed comment about him just having stepped out a car on the tip of his tongue. Bradley shifted in the corner of his eye before he could put voice to it however, and that was enough to make him take a metaphorical step back from the situation and breathe. Childhood triggers being what they were, it made sense why such an innocuous comment could get to him so easily, but it still didn’t feel all that great in the moment. He had to remind himself that she didn’t do it to get to him on purpose, she was just fussy like that by nature.
“I know, I’m gonna change.”
“Something tidy please, we have guests in the house.”
Jake went back to mentally banging his head against his steering wheel as he smiled at his mother and offered her a lazy mock salute. He glanced around for Bradley after she left to track down her assistant, so that he could get his stuff back, and bit back a sigh when he realised that he wasn’t in sight. Goddammit. The last thing he needed was whatever bullshit this was shaping up to be. He had given up on playing these types of games with Bradley a long time ago.
Or he had tried to, at least.
Bradley was his kryptonite.
He always would be, no matter how much Jake wanted to pretend otherwise.
The asshole had rocked up what felt like forever ago as a new hire in the family’s security team on recommendation from some friend of a friend of a friend of Jake’s father and he had been a thorn in Jake’s side ever since. All big smiles and suave confidence and just the right amount of arrogance to make him interesting. Jake had been stuck in that transitory period that was his mid-twenties when they first met, fresh faced and in need of a distraction whilst he was on leave. They had gotten stuck in one another’s orbits too quickly for it to have really been sustainable, and yet that hadn’t given Jake any pause for reservation as he leapt head first into their relationship. What he had been led to assume was a casual thing that just so happened to develop into something deeper as they realised their feelings for one another had been cut short in a brutally succinct manner by Bradley last year.
Because he didn’t actually care about Jake, that much was clear from reading between the lines, and he hadn’t wanted to string him along any further when he had his job to consider.
Sanctimonious prick.
Jake had never felt so used as the night Bradley had broken up with him. Or so stupid. He had been so caught up in the sinful delight that was going to bed with Bradley that he had made the mistake of confessing his feelings in the heat of the moment. Jake never would have guessed that the words I love you could be so damaging, but he learnt the heard way that night. Bradley ended things afterwards without even so much as waiting long enough for them to clean themselves up.
They hadn’t spoken since then and Jake had zero interest in rehashing things at any point during this visit.
Not that it seemed to be Bradley’s intention to respect that fact if the way he was waiting for Jake in his bedroom was any indication.
Whatever.
Jake didn’t plan on making this easy for him.
If he wanted to shit all over Jake’s heart again, the least he could do is put some goddamn effort in.
“Jake,” Bradley sounded tense and frustrated as Jake ignored him in favour of unzipping his duffel and pulling out some fresh clothes his mother would approve of to wear. “Can we talk?”
“We have nothing to talk about.”
“That’s not true and you know it.”
Jake gave Bradley a long look with his brows arched and his hands poised on the top button of his shirt, making it as clear as he possibly could that he both didn’t care about what Bradley had to say and was going to start changing in the next five seconds regardless of what he did or didn’t do in the interim. When Bradley still made no effort to leave, Jake scoffed and started unbuttoning, turning his back for the sake of decorum.
“S’not a free show, Bradshaw,” he said, unable to hold the reprimand back as he tugged a crisp, white t-shirt over his head.
“Sorry,” Jake heard him move behind him, but rolled his eyes at the audacity when he glanced over his shoulder to find he had just turned around to give him some privacy rather than doing the decent thing by leaving. “I just wanna have a conversation with you, Jake, I’m not trying to be an asshole.”
“And yet you still manage.”
Bradley apparently saw that comment as an invitation to stay, chuckling to himself while Jake pulled on some jeans. He turned back when Jake didn’t say anything else, hesitantly at first and then with more confidence once he saw Jake was decent again and watching him with an expectant stare.
He cleared his throat, “um, I just wanted to-”
“Jay, are you-” Jamie barged into the room without warning and stopped short at the sight of Bradley and Jake stood opposite one another. He took one look at whatever Jake’s face was doing and glared at Bradley like the overprotective angel he was. “The fuck is your problem, Bradshaw? He’s back not even five minutes and you’re already sniffing aro-”
“Jame,” Jake interrupted before he could get too carried away with the self-righteousness, “I can fight my own battles, man.”
Bradley, for his part, was smart enough to stay quiet. Though his jaw was set in the way that said his patience was being tested.
While Jake and Jamie weren’t identical twins, they looked enough alike that only those who truly knew them could notice the differences. The downside (or benefit, depending on perspective) was that Jake could see the frustration he felt mirrored on Jamie’s face and resented him a little bit for being able to express himself so openly.
“Mom sent me up to get you. There’s some investors dad wants you to meet and they’re just about to wrap up their meeting, so…”
Jake sighed, ignoring the siren call that was his bed just behind him, and nodded, “fine. I’ll be along in a sec.”
“Jay-”
“I’ll be along in a sec,” Jake repeated more insistently, glaring at him until he finally took the hint and left.
“So, you told him about us?” Bradley asked like he hadn’t known that all along. Jake had to assume he was just using that opening question as a segue, but he still couldn’t help himself from scoffing because Bradley knew exactly how to push his buttons without even trying.
“Yeah, crazy I’d want to vent to my brother after getting dumped.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No,” Jake shook his head, disappointed that Bradley didn’t understand that he knew that already, “you never do.”
“Jake, I- I wanted to…” Bradley huffed and scuffed a hand over the back of his neck as he fumbled over his words. “Jeez, I really should’ve planned better, I have no idea how to actually say this.”
“Say what?” Jake asked, patience waning as Bradley shrugged rather than elaborating. When it became apparent that he wasn’t going to say anything more anytime soon, Jake gave up on being the bigger person. “You know what, Bradshaw, I have neither the time nor the inclination. Figure your shit out on your own, I have my family to catch up with.”
He didn’t wait for a response, leaving Bradley there to stew over whatever it was he was overthinking by himself.
Meeting investors was second nature for Jake – being shown off as part of their picture-perfect family had been part of the foundation of his childhood, especially in the early years when his father had still been in the business of growing his empire – so he was able to step into the well-worn role without a second thought as he made his way downstairs again. Though it had always grated against him and Jamie being used as part of their father’s business endeavours, the two of them still played their parts in perfect sync.
It felt good, being with his brother again.
Jake hadn’t realised how much he needed Jamie, but after the Mission… After the shitshow that was training for it, fighting with and then going back for Mav, getting shot down, his and Mav’s desperate fight back to the carrier, Javy saving them… After surviving when all logic said they should have died at least a dozen times over… He had been feeling off-centre for weeks now.
Though their parents seemed none the wiser, Jake knew that Jamie could tell something was wrong. That there was something Jake was hiding. But this wasn’t like when he had ambushed him after his breakup with Bradley, or any of the other times Jake had thought about keeping secrets. There was the fact that the details were classified, sure, and then there was the fact that Jake just didn’t have the words.
He wouldn’t have been able to explain any of it even if he had been allowed to.
When Jamie finally broke, asking Jake outright what had happened with an expectant tone a few days after he returned home, Jake’s explanation was a simple, “work stuff.” The whole family had been long since trained to drop the matter when Jake uttered that phrase, so even though Jamie had looked like he was swallowing glass at the thought, he was forced let it go.
Those few days passed uneventfully for Jake. He didn’t have much going on, after all. Having the time to recuperate was useful, but the lack of activity left him with itchy feet sooner than he would have liked to admit.
Being banned from the cockpit, there was only one other sure-fire way he had of recentering himself.
“Jacob?” Inches from freedom, Jake was stopped by his father’s voice. He was the only person who used his sons’ full names with any kind of consistency and that habit still had the ability to make Jake feel like he had been caught misbehaving regardless of how old he was. “Spare me a minute?”
Jake tried not to sigh and twisted on his heels with a false smile, “I’m headed out to see some friends, so-”
“This won’t take long.”
Jake tried not to stamp his feet as he followed his father into his study. The room was something of a cliché. A large space with lots of leather, rich colours, and mahogany. Jake shut the door behind him when he was prompted to and slouched in an armchair opposite his father, waiting for the lecture he was expecting to start.
“Who’re you meeting?”
“Oh, just,” Jake waved a hand, dismissing it as much as he could, “uh, Zeke and Hayden. We played football together in high school.”
“Mm, I remember them. Good kids.”
“Right. So, I’m gonna be late…”
“I should have explained this sooner, I’ve been busy so I apologise for the ambush, but while you’re here I am going to need you to have someone accompany you when you’re out and about.”
Jake blinked, sure he had misunderstood somehow, “say again?”
“Look, there’s a lot going on with the business right now. It’s nothing to worry about, it’s just for your own protection. James has moved home for the same reason; your mother’s cancelled a few trips she had planned. We’re all making concessions.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Not at all.”
“What’s going on?” Jake levelled his father with a flat stare when he hesitated over answering. “Dad, what’s going on?”
“We’re expanding, as you know, and we may have… stepped on a few toes in the process with interesting results.” Jake scoffed, imagining exactly what that might be code for. Severe acquisition of competitors’ assets and upsetting the wrong people in the process. He was unsurprised. Maybe a little disappointed. But he was well aware of how his father’s business operated behind the scenes, so none of this was particularly out of pocket. What he didn’t understand was how that had anything to do with him. “It’s just a precaution, Jacob, don’t be difficult.”
“A precaution for what? I don’t have anything to do with the business! I’m going out with friends for a few hours, what d’you think’s gonna happen?”
“Nothing, hopefully, but just in case-”
“I don’t need a babysitter.”
“That’s not-”
“And I’m in the goddamn navy, dad, I can handle myself.”
“I’m well aware of that fact son, but even so, I have to insist.”
“Or what? What’re you gonna do? Ground me?”
“Don’t be dramatic.”
“Me?” Jake moved to stand as he let out a disbelieving chuckle, over this now and ready to walk out before he said something he might end up regretting. “This is a jok-”
“Jacob,” there was something in his father’s tone which gave Jake pause, “for your old man’s piece of mind, can you please just humour me? For tonight at least?” Jake took in the genuine worry in his expression and, though exasperated by this whole thing, he eventually sighed and nodded. “You won’t even notice he’s there, he’ll blend right in.”
The hairs on the back of Jake’s neck prickled as something quite worrying occurred to him, “who?”
“I’ve asked Bradley. Since he’s around your age and you two always seemed to get along I figured that’d be best.”
Of course he did.
Jake’s parents had no idea what had gone down between the two of them.
His father had no reason to think that he was setting him up for a nightmare of an evening.
If he wasn’t so in need of an escape right now, Jake would have been tempted to give up on the idea of going out right there and then.
Before he could react in any way, Jake heard the door open. He didn’t have to look around to know who it was, but he still did because he was a glutton for punishment. Seeing Bradley dressed up in civvie clothes rather than the standard suit and tie uniform the security team was issued with was supposed to be a rare treat to break up the monotony, and yet Bradley managed to ruin it by thinking a goddamn Hawaiian shirt was appropriate evening attire. The yellow of the flowers was obnoxiously bright; the navy of the background complimented his skin.
Jake hated how good he looked.
“Well, I won’t keep you any longer.” Jake turned back to his father in time to see him standing with a relieved air. “Have a good night son, pass my regards on to the boys.”
“So, where’re we headed?” Bradley asked when Jake made no immediate effort to move after his father left the room, unaware of the internal debate raging in the back of Jake’s mind about whether to stick to his original plans or give up and save face a little bit.
His constant presence was part of the reason why such escapism was necessary in the first place, after all. Aside from all the stress of the Mission, the distraction that was having the man who didn’t love him back around all the time wasn’t exactly fun.
“Jake?” Bradley prompted.
“I’ll tell you in the car.”
“Fine. I’m driving.”
Jake sucked his teeth in irritation at Bradley’s brazen attitude, but honestly, that kind of worked better for him anyway. Rather than arguing the point just for the sake of being contrary, he strode outside to where Bradley’s truck was parked. The stupid thing was falling apart, it had been the entire time Jake had known Bradley, and yet somehow it was still running. There was some kind of sentimentality to Bradley’s relationship with it which Jake had never understood, so he and his baby weathered all the insults Jake had ever thrown at it without a single misstep.
If Bradley had any thoughts about Jake’s choice of venue for tonight’s outing, he kept them to himself for the duration of the drive. It wasn’t until Bradley pulled up across the street from the club and eyed the queue already forming around the corner of the building with blatant disdain that he found his voice.
“When I was told you were going out tonight, I was led to believe you were meeting friends?”
“What I do in my free time is none of your business.” Jake got over pretending like he was okay with Bradley being here as soon as he clocked him reaching to open his door in the corner of his eye. “You can go. I’ll make my own way home.”
“I’m just doing my job, Jake.” Bradley sounded weary, like he was bracing for a fight he didn’t want to have. “Believe me, if I had a choice, it wouldn’t be like this.”
“Great, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“I can’t- Jake, I have orders-”
“If you have any respect left for me, Bradley, then leave me the fuck alone. I won’t ask again.”
Jake jumped out of the truck, relieved not to hear any signs of Bradley following him, and walked straight up to the bouncer, identifying himself and his connection to the owners before he could get criticised for cutting the queue. He hadn’t been outright lying about his plans for tonight. Zeke and Hayden ran the place together, so he had texted them earlier to let them know he would be stopping by, he just didn’t intend to spend all evening with them when he could be losing himself in the arms of a stranger instead.
That was the main goal of this whole performance, after all.
He wanted to get out of his head for a while and this was the safest way of doing so whilst flying had been taken from him.
Music pounded from the speakers as he made his way to the bar where Zeke had told him he would be working. A quick scan of the room told him it was shaping up to be a busy night. He counted upwards of three separate bachelorette parties and rolled his eyes as he made a mental note to steer clear. Zeke crowed his name when he caught sight of him, waving for one of his bartenders to take over as he let himself out from behind the counter and grabbed him into a hug. It had been years since they last saw one another and yet it felt like no time had passed at all. Zeke eventually led him to the booth which he had reserved for the purposes of them catching up and Hayden joined them not long afterwards.
It was a nice way to waste a few hours.
Zeke and Hayden were a cute couple – Jake was glad they had worked things out after high school since there had always been way too much tension between them in the locker rooms – but he was also grateful for the interruption that came in the form of yet another stranger sending a drink to their table for him. When he locked eyes with this latest guy, he smiled. Jackpot. Someone up above was looking out for him. The guy looked just arrogant enough that small talk wasn’t going to be a problem. Dark skinned and hard muscled, all Jake needed was for him to be taller and he would tick every single box he needed.
He looked nothing like Bradley.
Jake tipped the glass in the guy’s direction as thanks and necked it without breaking eye contact. He felt warm as the guy grinned and then turned to put in another order at the bar. Jake could only assume he would be on his way over in a minute and chuckled at Zeke’s fondness as he muttered, “subtle,” just loud enough for him to hear.
“Well, it’s been fun boys,” Jake said, making it clear this portion of the evening was finished with. Neither of his friends looked all that put out that he was so blatantly abandoning them the moment someone more interesting came along. If anything, Jake had to assume they would be sitting back to enjoy the show. “But duty calls.”
Jake intercepted the guy as he made his way across the room, plucking the shot glass he offered him out of his hand with a satisfied smile. He tipped his head back to down it, enjoying the rush as the alcohol started to hit properly, his senses dulling around the edges, and dumped the glass on a nearby table while the guy watched him like a hawk.
“Dance with me?” Jake asked, cutting him off before he could introduce himself, uninterested in learning his name or anything else about him if he could help it.
The guy grinned and grabbed Jake’s hand to drag him in the direction of the dancefloor, seemingly getting the message loud and clear.
There wasn’t much to it after that.
Jake gave himself over to the feeling of the guy’s hands on him, the rhythmic grind of their bodies together in time with the beat of the music, the way he had plastered himself against Jake’s back, hands on his hips, breath heavy on his neck as he nosed against it. He lost time like that. Took no notice of what particular song was playing. Followed the guy’s lead as they danced, and yet just as the last of his worries slipped away into the ether, the guy’s voice sounded in his ear, jarring him back to reality.
“Someone’s watching you.”
Jake’s eyes snapped open to check his surroundings. He hadn’t even realised he had closed them until then. Crushing down his unease at the thought of being caught so exposed, Jake frowned when he couldn’t figure out who the guy was referring to.
“Where?”
The guy raised a hand to tilt Jake’s chin in the direction of the bar. Jake caught a flash of that obscene shirt and groaned internally seconds before he locked eyes with Bradley. He should have known. Jake had thrown his lack of respect in his face and was naïve enough to think he might have taken the hint and listened to him. Of course, he hadn’t. Jake let every bit of contempt he felt for the man show in his expression as he stared him down.
Bradley was a blank slate.
Jake had no idea what he was thinking and, quite frankly, he didn’t care.
“He doesn’t look happy,” the guy whisper shouted in Jake’s ear, somehow managing to sound smug over the music. He pulled Jake’s hips closer to grind against his as he asked, “you using me to make your boyfriend jealous?”
Jake barked out a laugh and twisted in the guy’s arms, shutting Bradley’s presence out as much as possible. He was here to do his job, fine, that didn’t mean he deserved acknowledgement. “He’s not my boyfriend,” he said as he locked his arms around the guy’s neck and met his gaze with a salacious grin.
“Jealous ex then?”
Jake shook his head, reluctant to put voice to it. He would feel pretty pathetic shouting over the music that Bradley had had every part of him that he ever could have wanted and had kicked him to the curb without having to think twice about it. There was no way Bradley would ever be jealous over anything he did.
“He’s my bodyguard,” Jake said, pressing even closer as the guy’s grip tightened. “Just ignore him.”
“Bodyguard?” The guy pulled back to give Jake an incredulous look which left Jake shaking with laughter. “What’re you famous or something?”
Bandy about the Seresin name in certain circles and Jake supposed that, yes, that would be an accurate assessment. He didn’t bother explaining that to this guy however, shaking his head again in response as the crowd around them swelled in time with the bass dropping.
“Wanna get outta here?”
The guy grinned when Jake nodded and snagged his hand to drag him in the opposite direction of the bar. Jake was fully on board with the plan he seemed to have formulated for sneaking out the back exit.
He breathed in the fresh air as they stepped outside, ears ringing slightly as the sound of the music faded in favour of drunken chatter. The guy made some joke about losing the extra baggage which had Jake laughing right up until the moment they rounded the front of the club and his gaze flickered over to where Bradley had been parked. Jake did a double take when he saw Bradley already there, leaning against the passenger door, watching him with an expectant air, and ground his teeth together in frustration.
There was a satisfied edge to Bradley’s expression which Jake only noticed when he realised that he was striding towards him rather than leaving with the guy like he had planned. The questions the guy was calling after him went ignored as his irritation with Bradley boiled over into outright anger.
“What the fuck is your problem?”
“I don’t have one, Jake, I’m just doing my job-”
“Oh my god, just stop with the bullshit, Bradley. I told you to leave.”
Bradley scoffed like he was about to argue the point, but the guy who Jake had completely forgotten as his emotions got the better of him laid a hand on the small of his back in a possessive manner.
“Everything alright?” He asked, glancing between Bradley and Jake with evident confusion.
“Yeah,” Jake gave Bradley one last warning look and turned away. “Let’s go.”
“Just tell me his name, Jake.”
“What?” Jake asked seconds before the guy did.
“Tell me his name and I’ll go.” Bradley shrugged like he was trying to be nonchalant about it but Jake had the sneaking feeling he was up to something.
“Why?”
“You know why.”
Jake sneered at the innocent look Bradley offered him, assuming he was faking it. He had no idea what this was about and couldn’t understand why Bradley would care who he spent his time with other than him wanting to cause problems for his own gratification.
“Um, what’s going on?” The guy asked, becoming less and less relevant to Jake in whatever this was by the second.
Bradley shouldered himself into straightening up as he offered the guy a coy smile. “Sorry man, I don’t mean to hold you up, I just have security procedures to follow-”
“Security procedures?” Jake interjected with an incredulous tone.
“Did Jake explain who I am?” Bradley continued like Jake hadn’t spoken.
“Uh, he said you’re his bodyguard?” The guy glanced to Jake with evident confusion and stepped away from him with some hesitation like he thought he might get taken out just for touching him. “So, sorry, I don’t understand, what’s going on?”
“I just need your name for the background checks we have to run?”
“Jesus, Bradley, really?” Jake protested.
He hated how good Bradley was at lying. How easy it was for him to make up some bullshit procedure which didn’t actually exist just for the purpose of scaring this guy off because he felt like it. How he knew Jake hadn’t asked and didn’t care about something so arbitrary as names right now because there was a time when he was supposed to have known Jake better than he knew himself.
Bradley went on ignoring Jake’s outbursts, taking on a bashful air and shoving his hands in his pockets as he shrugged again. “It’s a standard thing, you know, just a precaution. Can’t be too careful these days.”
“Right, no, yeah, I’m sure.” The guy started shifting foot to foot, like he was debating how to make a quick exit, at which point Jake gave up entirely on tonight ending the way he had wanted it to. “It’s just- that’s a bit…” The guy shook his head, “I’m not- this isn’t-”
Jake sighed as the guy looked to him for help and waved him off with a futile gesture, “you can go.”
“It was nice to meet you.”
“Yeah.” Jake didn’t bother watching him leave, too distracted by the way Bradley was trying very hard not to look pleased with himself at how that had panned out. “You really don’t know when to stop, do you?”
“Jake-” Bradley cut himself off with a curse as Jake stalked away from him, desperate for some space before he ended up doing something he regretted. He managed to get all the way to the end of the next block over before Bradley caught up with him. In the truck with the window rolled down because apparently now he had given up on any semblance of subtlety. “Jake, can you get in please?”
“No.”
“Jesus, c’mon Jake, just- please? Let’s go home? Talk about this?”
“Why would I want to talk to you about anything right now?”
“Because I’m sorry?” Jake’s steps faltered at the sound of Bradley apologising but it wasn’t enough to make him stop walking. “I’m sorry, Jake, about everything. I just want to explain. Please?”
Jake let out a loud, elongated groan and slowed to a halt in spite of his reluctance to do anything Bradley wanted. He heard the squeak as Bradley hit the brakes and the revving as he was forced to reverse from where he had overshot Jake’s position. Jake scraped a hand through his hair and seriously debated the merits of how long he could keep going like this.
Literally, he couldn’t walk home, the distance was too far, and logically, his relationship with Bradley couldn’t deteriorate much further without it causing even bigger problems than it had already.
The timing couldn’t be worse.
Jake was drunk, upset, and angry as hell, but if Bradley wanted a conversation, he was damn well going to get one.
He slammed the door of the truck extra hard when he got in, just because he knew it annoyed Bradley, and held up a hand to prevent him from speaking as he demanded coffee before this went any further. It wasn’t like he could snap his fingers and sober up, but he could make a start, and that was probably the most responsible thing to do given the circumstances. Bradley stopped at the first drive through they passed, placing their orders without checking if Jake’s had changed since the last time they had seen each other. It hadn’t. But there was the principle of the whole thing. After he collected their cups and passed them over to Jake, he pulled the truck into a parking space and turned to face Jake with an air of resolve.
There was an art to the way Bradley gave people his undivided attention. Jake had always thought so. It was one of the many reasons why he had fallen for him in the first place. He was held captive by his stare, eyes boring into him under the low light of the street lamps as the steam from their cups rose between them. Jake could see the wheels turning in the back of Bradley’s mind while he weighed up his options on where to start. His last ounce of goodwill was expended as he endured it without complaint. The bitter taste of coffee burned down his throat when Jake took a sip, comforting enough that he took another one straight afterwards even though it was still just that bit too hot for him to enjoy.
“I’ve been thinking about this for so long I thought I’d be more prepared than this,” Bradley murmured, letting out a derisive scoff Jake guessed was aimed at himself as he shifted to stare out of the windshield. “I’m sorry. I- the things I said to you, I didn’t mean them, I just wanted to hurt you so that you’d leave. And then you did, and I thought I had done the right thing for all of five minutes before I realised just how badly I had fucked up. And then you didn’t come home for the holidays, and I realised that I had severely underestimated just how big that fuck up was. And you weren’t answering my calls, and you basically dropped off the face of the earth, and I thought- well, I don’t know what I thought, but I was fucking terrified I was never gonna see you again.”
Jake swallowed around the lump in his throat, his anger starting to dissipate in the wake of deep-seeded sadness as Bradley looked at him like he was supposed to say something. “I don’t understand where this is coming from.”
“I love you, Jake. I’ve been in love with you for-”
“No,” Jake shook his head as he struggled to reconcile this confession with how Bradley had acted in the past, “you don’t get to do this.”
“I know.”
“You have no right-”
“Jake, I know.”
There was a rawness to Bradley’s expression which grated against Jake’s conscience. It told him this was genuine, that these words were the truth no matter how much they seemed like a lie, that Bradley understood how unfair he was being and had gone through with it anyway.
“You fucked with my head, you fucked with my feelings, and now you think you can tell me you love me and that’ll magically fix everything?” Jake waved a hand as he spoke, trying to expel some of his frustration, and ended up sloshing still-moderately-hot coffee over his fingers. He dumped the cup on the dashboard with a curse and sucked at the most painful spot on his thumb for a quick second before another wave of anger hit him. “You told me I wasn’t good enough for-”
“I didn’t mean it, Jake.”
“Do you have any idea how that made me feel?”
“I can’t imagine how much I hurt you.” Bradley’s face twisted into something unreadable as he shifted in his seat again. “I would take it back if I could. But it’s not true, Jake, you have to know I don’t actually think that.”
He had. That was the problem. Jake had believed every single word Bradley had said to him and it had all but destroyed his self-confidence. A sob burst out of him and he hated himself for the way he felt comforted when Bradley reached across the bench and pulled him into a tight hug.
“I’m sorry,” Bradley said again, voice quieter now even though Jake’s head was tucked against his shoulder and his mouth was right beside his ear. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Jake’s breath shuddered out of him as he fought against the temptation to let everything go and give in to this before it was snatched away from him again.
“You deserve the whole goddamn world and I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you before.”
“Stop,” Jake shook himself back to his senses, pushing Bradley away. “You can’t just say that.”
Bradley’s lips twitched like he wanted to argue the point but knew that probably wouldn’t be the wisest course at the moment.
Jake buried his head in his hands with a groan.
This was the wrong time – he was tired, a little drunk, stressed, and confused, he was still coming down from the mindfuck that was a near-death experience, his head was all over the place, and there was a very good chance that the only reason he was even entertaining the thought of forgiving Bradley was because he didn’t have the strength to deal with fighting his own corner – but there was never going to be a right time for this kind of thing and it wasn’t like putting it off any longer would change the way he felt about any of it.
“I don’t know what you want from me.”
“A second chance?” Jake tilted his head to side-eye Bradley when he clocked the teasing note in his tone. “I know I don’t have the right to ask for one, but I’m doing it anyway.”
Jake raised his head to stare at him for a long moment, unsure of what he was searching for. His gaze flitted over Bradley’s face as he drank in all of the features he had tried and failed to make himself forget over the last year.
“God, you’re such an asshole.” Bradley grinned and Jake held up a finger to stall any celebration on his part. “I don’t know that I’m ready to forgive you.”
“Okay,” Bradley accepted with the easy confidence of someone who didn’t think he would be waiting long as he edged closer on the bench in incremental movements. “I promise I’ll do whatever I have to to earn your trust again.”
“Jamie’s gonna kill me when he finds out,” Jake murmured, giving up all pretence of a fight as he dropped his head back against the seat. Bradley huffed and pulled a face like he couldn’t not agree with that assessment. “Don’t make me regret this, Bradshaw.”
“You won’t.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
Bradley reached up to brush some hair out of Jake’s face, magnanimously ignoring how much of a mess it must be from where Jake had been tugging his hands through it during the height of his distress. “I wish I had been smart enough to keep that promise at the time.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Bradley shrugged, letting his hand fall back to his lap again, “I was just- you were the brave one, Jake, I was an idiot who was scared of how I felt.”
Jake scoffed, “and you think I wasn’t?”
“No, no, I know how much it took for you to be honest with me I just wasn’t ready for it.”
“So, what changed?”
“I told you I-”
“No, I get that you had your big feelings epiphany after I left, but you don’t go from that shit you pulled to whatever this is at the flip of a switch. What changed?”
Bradley hesitated for a long moment before reaching out to take one of Jake’s hands in his. “I mean finding out what it was like to lose you was a big factor. But also… Mav called me to ask about you.”
Jake blinked with no small measure of shock.
He had been waiting for this, and yet the reminder of why he had had such difficulty playing the good subordinate to Mav in the early days of training for the Mission still blindsided him.
Bradley had told Jake years ago about his uncles in the navy, had even offered once to put in a good word on his behalf (which Jake had swiftly declined because he refused to take handouts when it came to his career), so it had been a painful point of irony that he didn’t end up crossing paths with them until after their breakup when he no longer had to care about impressing them for personal reasons.
Jake had assumed Mav knew enough about Bradley’s career to at least recognise his family name, but he hadn’t been sure either way whether Mav had put the dots together about who he was and no idea what he knew about their relationship. At first it had been a little weird to just bring up in casual conversation, and then later they had had more pressing matters to deal with.
It felt strange now to discover that Mav had been in the exact same position all along.
“When?”
“Once when you guys first started working together and then again a couple days before you came home… He, um, he wanted to check that you are who he thought you were, and he,” Bradley scoffed, “he ripped me a new one when I finally told him what happened between us… said he could understand why you had such a big chip on your shoulder if that was how people were treating you in your personal life.”
The showing of support from Mav was just as sweet as it was unexpected, especially considering that he was backing Jake against his own nephew of all people.
“And then last week he was worried… he wouldn’t, couldn’t, tell me anything, but it’s obvious something happened, Jake. You looked dead on your feet when you got home.”
Jake pressed his lips together with the small shake of his head, “it’s classified, Bradley.”
“I know,” Bradley threaded their fingers together more securely, tugging Jake in again until their shoulders knocked together, and paused for a long moment, as if to give Jake the chance to pull away, before pressing a kiss to his temple. “I’m not asking for details, I just want you to know that I’m here if you need to talk about it.”
Jake squeezed his eyes shut to fight against the tears which were blurring his vision. His voice was small and defeated as he asked, “am I an idiot for trusting you again?”
“I think I’m a little too biased to answer that, baby.”
Jake huffed out a bleak laugh and sagged his weight further into Bradley, unsurprised that his weakness for pet names was his undoing in the end. If he stayed true in the morning, then maybe Jake would start to believe this wasn’t a mistake, but he had always felt a little foolish loving Bradley, so why should tonight be any different?
“Take me home?”
Bradley pressed another kiss to Jake’s temple and hummed, “can I ask you something first?” There was something speculative in his tone which gave Jake pause but he nodded all the same. “Do you know that guy’s name?”
Jake snorted at his predictability, wondering how he hadn’t guessed that that was coming, and shoved him away. “Drive, Bradshaw.”
“Just tell me,” Bradley insisted, his voice taking on a playful tone.
“You know I don’t.”
“And you were actually gonna go home with him?”
“There’s a lot I was gonna do with him…” Jake eased backwards to fix Bradley with a challenging stare. “You got a problem with that?”
“You know I do.”
Though Bradley reached out to place a hand on Jake’s thigh, he hesitated just before touching him. Jake edged his knee closer, granting permission, and smiled at the soft way Bradley traced his thumb along the inseam of his jeans. It belied every single part of the possessiveness in his expression.
A thrill ran though Jake, reminding him of his original motives for going out this evening. The momentary distraction of this conversation hadn’t subdued that urge in any way. If anything, the need for release, the need to get out of his head, the need to switch his brain off and feel good about something for a little while, was stronger now than ever before.
Jake had looked elsewhere because he hadn’t thought Bradley was an option anymore. The way he was looking at him now though, the way he was touching him, Jake was forced to admit to himself that Bradley was the only person he wanted. Always and forever. This desperate attempt at anonymous sex wouldn’t have done anything to help him in the long run.
If it was a mistake, if Bradley was going to break his heart again, then Jake figured he might as well make the most of it whilst he could.
“Did it bother you,” Jake asked as he spread his legs wider and gave Bradley more room to work with, “watching me with him?”
“Jake.” Bradley’s tone was warning, and yet Jake knew he didn’t necessarily want him to stop talking.
“Or did you like that?”
“Jake-”
“I could’ve put on more of a show if I had known you were there sooner…”
“You don’t think you were doing that already?” Bradley’s grip tightened as it trailed higher up Jake’s thigh. “You have no idea how many eyes were on you in there, do you?”
“I don’t care.”
“I know you don’t.” Bradley’s hand inched upwards again. “There’s only one thing you care about when you’re in a mood like this.”
“Then why,” Jake asked, giving up on any attempt to come across as coy as he pushed Bradley backwards and used the element of surprise to climb into his lap. There wasn’t much space to work with, the steering wheel was digging into his back, so he wouldn’t be comfortable for long, but it got the point across in an unmistakably blatant way. “Are you still making me wait for it?”
Bradley tilted his head back with a slow grin while his hands landed on Jake’s hips. When he leaned in, Jake assumed he was going to kiss him, so he couldn’t quite stifle the disgruntled noise that clawed out of his throat as Bradley bypassed his mouth and nosed at the shell of his ear instead.
“Because I know you don’t believe me yet,” he murmured. “And I could give you what you want and fuck you like some cheap whore right here and now.” Bradley tightened his grip on Jake whilst he ground his hips upwards, as if to point out that he didn’t have any problem with the idea. Jake sucked in a sharp breath and smiled as he realised that, just like him, Bradley was half hard already. “Use you just like all those strangers, like that guy was fucking gagging to all night.”
Switching sides, Bradley grazed his teeth against the sensitive spot behind Jake’s other ear before punctuating his words with soft kisses along Jake’s jaw.
“Or I could give you what you need and take you home, lay you out in my bed, really earn that second chance, and show you all the reasons why you should never leave it again.”
By the time Bradley finished speaking his lips had reached the corner of Jake’s mouth where he pressed one final featherlight kiss before pulling back to look Jake in the eye. Jake’s breath caught at the certainty in his expression, the promise in his words, the tantalising idea of what was to come.
Bradley still seemed to think he needed more convincing however, as he brushed the tips of their noses together and whispered, “let me treat you the way you deserve to be treated, baby.”
Jake nodded and brought his hands up to frame Bradley’s face as he pressed in closer to kiss him properly for the first time in a year. Bradley’s hands slipped under the hem of Jake’s t-shirt, touches soft and careful as his fingers flexed against Jake’s skin. Jake was all for following Bradley’s plan, but that did involve getting off of him at some point, and now that he was here, somewhere he never thought he was going to be ever again, he was finding it very difficult to dredge up the motivation to move. It didn’t help that Bradley started rocking their hips together in earnest, controlling Jake’s every movement as he swallowed his moan with a deep, satisfied hum.
Before the thought that they were going to get too carried away fully crystallised in the back of Jake’s mind, they were shocked apart by the loud rapping of knuckles against the driver’s side window. Jake all but scrambled off of Bradley’s lap while Bradley cursed and tried to compose himself, winding down the window a few seconds later with an air of faux innocence. Jake heard the pointed clearing of a throat and glanced to the side for long enough to catch the sight of a police uniform before ducking his head in embarrassment at having been caught while he tried to regulate his breathing.
“Well, hello there, Bradshaw, fancy seeing you here.”
Jake didn’t recognise the voice, but whoever it was, they clearly knew Bradley and they sounded highly amused to find him in such a compromising position.
“Jonesy,” Bradley greeted with a strained smile. “Quiet night?”
“Oh, yeah,” Jonesy rested his forearms against the open window sill and flashed a grin at Jake when he finally worked up the courage to look him in the eye. The teasing note in his tone gave away enough that Jake had to assume there wasn’t an actual problem and more that he was drawing this out because he was enjoying fucking with Bradley. “Just grabbing some coffee on our break, how about you?”
“Mhm, yeah, Jake and I just stopped for a chat.”
“A chat?” Jonesy clarified with a snort. “Is that what we’re calling it these days?”
“Sure is,” Bradley said without a lick of shame.
“Mm, well, do me a favour and move this conversation along somewhere more private? Paperwork’s a ball ache and I’d rather not have to deal with it this close to the end of my shift.”
“Will do.”
Jonesy knocked against the side of the door in farewell and wandered away without any further comments. They were quiet for a long moment before Bradley chuckled to himself and that triggered a wave of laughter from Jake.
“Take me home?” He asked again after he had regained some control over himself, more genuine than desperate this time.
Bradley handed Jake his phone with a fond smile as he started the engine. “Text David for me? Let him know we won’t be back at the main house tonight.”
“Is that really necessary?” Jake asked with snort as he pulled up Bradley’s text chain with his father’s Head of Security.
“You know I do actually have procedures to follow when it comes to your safety, right?”
“Oh,” Jake dropped his head back against the seat and tipped his head in Bradley’s direction with a sly grin. “So, you weren’t completely full of shit when you were chasing that guy off then?”
Bradley scoffed, “I would’ve been digging up every bit of dirt I could on that asshole if you had actually left together.”
“Are you allowed to do that background check shit for personal reasons?”
“You think I care about what I’m allowed to do when it comes to protecting you, baby?” Bradley said with so much confidence Jake’s heart couldn’t not melt a little bit. He then snagged Jake’s hand and linked their fingers together before pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “S’the most important job I have.”
“God, you gotta cut it with the sappy shit, Bradshaw, it’s freaking me out.” Though Jake tried to sound serious, he couldn’t help the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
A satisfied chuckle bubbled out of Bradley, hinting that he didn’t plan on doing that any time soon. Jake wanted to mind but he couldn’t quite dredge up the right level of irritation to make it genuine. He glanced over at Bradley and squeezed his hand, glad that he got to have this again for however long it lasted.
There was every chance this would blow up in his face a second time and he would be left putting the broken pieces of his heart back together again. He had every reason not to trust Bradley but he couldn’t help himself. The moment he opened himself up to the possibility of things working out between them, it was all he could think about. All he wanted.
He had never stopped loving Bradley, after all.
And maybe, just maybe, Bradley meant it when he said he loved him back.