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The group is preparing for their upcoming comeback and came home after a late-night practice. Jay just finished showering and is now lying on his bed, waiting for the food they ordered to arrive before they can go to sleep.
As Jay is scrolling on social media, he sees a message from his manager pop up on the top of the screen.
9:23PM
Manager-nim
Audio File – JayxYuuri 1
Audio File – JayxYuuri 2
Jay, I just sent the copies for the collaboration cover. Please take a listen and let me know if everything is okay. If there are no changes to be made, these will be the final versions.
Good job Jongseong :)
As Jay reads the message and looks at the audio files, his heart rate begins to increase and palms get sweaty. He feels like the audio files are glaring at him through the screen.
He can’t believe it is here. The collaboration cover audio files are on his phone, right now.
He went to the Japan company label a year ago to ask about a collaboration cover and he practiced for months, and now the final project is in his hands, literally.
Jay is going to be sick and puke all over his bed sheets.
His hands are shaking as he reaches over to grab his airpods and put it in his ears. After they are connected, his thumb hovers over the audio file, but not pressing down to open the file and play it.
He can’t.
Jay physically cannot do it.
Jay has been a huge fan of Yuuri for many years.
He can remember the first time he heard him. He had seen Ni-ki watching a video of Yuuri's on The First Take and asked to listen to it with him. After that, he has listened to all of his songs and has admired Yuuri.
Yuuri is a big inspiration for Jay musically. All of Jay's current top songs on Spotify are by him and Dried Flower is his favourite song.
And that is why it is so nerve wracking for Jay to listen to the cover. Jay is nothing special, so how is it appropriate for him to be singing along with someone like Yuuri.
He isn’t the main vocal with a perfect pitch like Heeseung. He also doesn’t have a unique vocal tone that attracts so many fans like Jungwon. The fans also never compliment his singing either, making Jay feel like he is talentless and at best, a mediocre singer.
Jay is really worried that he will sound like trash besides Yuuri’s amazing vocals. What was he thinking doing this?
At this moment, Jay is seriously regretting going to the company and asking for this collaboration. Where the hell did he get the courage to do that then and where is it now that he needs it to listen to the songs?
Also, this is the first project since Jay went on a semi-hiatus since January and Jay really needs this to go well or everything would have been for nothing. That he is a failure.
Jay knows that he will not be able to listen to the audio files on his own. He needs someone that will be honest with him and tell him the truth no matter how good or bad it is. It will also be preferable if the person actually knows music.
Jay needs his hyung.
Jay gets up from his bed and walks over to Heeseung’s room. He knocks on the door, “Hyung?” He hears a hum in response through the door, so he takes that as an invitation and steps in.
Heeseung was playing a video game when he heard the knock. He waits to listen to who it is and what they want before he decides if he needs to stop the game or not.
“Hyung can I talk to you?” asks Jay cautiously.
“Yeah sure,” Heeseung pauses his game before turning around on his chair to face the younger who is first by the door and is now walking towards him.
Heeseung thought that maybe it would be a quick talk and he can go back to his game, but now seeing Jay, he thinks otherwise.
Jay is fidgeting with his fingers and his lips are bitten raw. The older can also read the worry written all over the younger’s face.
Heeseung turns around to close the game and then swivels his chair to face Jay, who has sat on his bed.
“What’s up Jongseong?” Jay, filled with anxiety, can’t seem to raise his head and ask his hyung, nervous about what his reaction will be to the songs. “Umm.”
Jay sees a large hand reach over and touch his knee, halting the constant up and down motion it was doing without his knowing.
Upon that touch, Jay relaxes just enough to look up at Heeseung and ask him, “Hyung, I just got the audio files for the collaboration. I have to listen to it before telling them the final okay.”
“Oh, that’s great Jongseong-ah,” Heeseung still doesn’t know what Jay wants to talk about exactly and looks at him curiously. He can see the glimmer of nervousness in his eyes and he wonders if something had happened.
“So, did it turn out okay?” Heeseung asks gently, peering at the younger for an answer. Jay chews on his lips and takes a deep breath before asking, “Hyung can you listen to it with me? I can’t do it alone.”
“I’m just worried that it turned out bad and I won’t be able to tell. You have perfect pitch and also did a cover, so you probably know better than me. And you can listen to it more objectively. Please listen to it with me,” Jay says in a hurried tone, eyes widening with plea.
Heeseung releases a soft chuckle from his lips, “Of course Jongseong-ah, I’ll listen to it with you.” He sends a smile when he sees the way Jay’s face brightens up with relief.
Jay quickly opens up the app on his phone and opens the audio file before his hyung can change his mind. He quickly glances at Heeseung tensely before he looks back at his phone and presses the play button.
As they listen to the first song and then the second, Jay does not raise his head even once. He forces himself to remain looking down and watch the way the seconds move on his phone, too fearful of what he would see on Heeseung’s face.
Terrified with the idea that he failed.
After the second song finishes, the room fills with a deafening silence, Jay’s ears ringing with the last notes of the song. He honestly can’t tell if the cover songs are good or bad. He doesn’t know.
Jay can feel his heartbeat in his ears now and Heeseung still hasn’t said anything, making him chew on his lips anxiously.
Jay winces with pain from the throbbing on his lip as he slowly lifts his head and glances warily at his hyung’s face, trying to decipher his expression.
Heeseung’s mouth is hanging open and eyes are wide. Those deer-like eyes look up from the phone to make eye contact with Jay’s sharp, scrutinizing gaze. The former eyes are filled with absolute awe.
“Jongseong-ah,” Heeseung says painstakingly slow, “That was beautiful.”
Jay’s eyes widen with surprise, not thinking that those would be the words he hears from his hyung.
“You really think so? Was it okay? How was my pitch? Do I sound remotely like I deserve to sing with Yuuri-san?” Jay cranes his neck towards Heeseung, wanting to know the answers to his questions. Needing to hear more to satisfy his curiosity of how he did.
“Jongseong-ah, you have nothing to worry about. That was amazing. Your and Yuuri-san’s voice go very well together.”
“I’m really proud of you Jongseong-ah,” Heeseung looks away, trying to stop the tears from collecting in the corner of his now watery eyes.
Jay moves his head along with his movements and eyes widen with disbelief, “Hyung are you crying?”
Heeseung releases a watery chuckle, amused with Jay’s astonishment and also with himself in getting emotional over Jay’s cover song.
“I’m just really happy. From the young boy I met 7 years ago that was filled with so many dreams and aspiration. And now look how far you’ve come with your passion and determination. You got to collaborate with your favourite artist and that was all you and your hard word. Hyung is proud of you Jongseong-ah.”
The sincere words from Heeseung blooms Jay’s heart with warmth.
Ever since Jay met Heeseung on the first day as a trainee at BigHit, he has always looked up to him as a hyung and as a talented musician, and it has never stopped. Jay admires his strength and how well he takes care of the band as the mathyung.
And now hearing those validating words from him, Jay cannot do anything but glow with happiness.
“Thank you hyung. You don’t know what that means to me.”
At the end, all Jay really needed was his hyung’s reassurances.
“Yes Jongseong-ah,” Heeseung says, raising an eyebrow at Jay’s body language. The group is on a 20 minute break from their dance practice and the younger has been standing in front of him for a few minutes, shifting on the balls of his feet anxiously, not saying a word.
“Hyung, I want to do a live.”
Heeseung’s eyebrows raise with slight surprise hearing those words. “That’s great Jongseong. You can tell the fans about your collaboration now that the announcement has been released.”
Jay seems disappointed with those words, corner of his lips turned downwards and eyes lacking the usual sparkle. Heeseung peers at him in worry, did something happen?
“What’s wrong?”
“Well,” Jay says as he shifts his gaze away from Heeseung’s narrowed eyes, fidgeting with the hem of his jacket, “I was wondering if you can do the live with me actually.”
Understanding floods Heeseung’s eyes. He knows what the younger is going through. He went on a similar social media hiatus last year and it took a lot of courage for him to go online again and be active.
He can’t even imagine the emotions the younger one is going through and the difficulty in doing a live after two months, especially a solo live.
“Yeah of course,” Heeseung says fondly. “After practice?”
Jay nods his head in agreement and walks away.
“Yeah, Jay’s back.”
“Yeah.”