Chapter Text
Hellboy – A place to belong side-stories
Crazy Abe Hobbies
Prologue
'Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.'
(Moving Pictures)
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Hi! I am the Narrator, professional animator, herald of quote, commentator, storyteller, D&D game master and barman-juggler. You may know me from my previous works such as my most recent one the famous internet sensation the story of “Hellboy: A place to belong” or the movie “Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron” (I was filling in for Matt Damon) or that condom commercial with the horse, remember that one? Hahaha.
We are here today to delve into the uncertain time where insanity fuelled boredom ch allenged Abe Sapien, fishman ‘extrordinaire’ as he and his friend, the star-crossed lovers Hellboy and Liz Sherman, were stuck in England after quitting the BPRD and noting and I mean absolutely noting interesting was happening.
Wait what? You don’t what I’m talking about? (Oh great, now I lost the booming voice.)
Really?
Checked the title yet? What about the summary? Surely if you decided to read this particular piece of fiction it must mean that you already have knowledge of the primary storyline this anthology is derived from?
No?
Well shnuks… Then I strongly suggest that you go read A Place to Belong, by Bookeater-otaku and Shiroyuki9, where,as mentioned earlier, I had the pleasure of being the narrator.
But for those of you who lack the time and/or the will to do so, here are the things you must know for THIS anthology:
After defeating Prince Nuada and his golden army, Hellboy disenchanted with the way the B.P.R.D. was being a dick, combined with his newly found fatherhood and the media nightmare brought by his reveal to the world, choose to quit and start building a new life for his family somewhere.
At Hellboy suggestion, they moved to the old cottage of the late Harry Middleton, a dear friend of professor Broom, situated in England. It was an out of the way little residence where they could lay low for a while and make themselves forgotten from the public, with very little success. Reporters, paparazzi and governmental goons from various country kept pestering them, limiting their freedom and movement.
Klauss stuck around for a while, but previous engagement and responsibility made him return to the B.P.R.D. but wished his new friends a good life and was gone without any ill will between him and the unusual family.
He came back a few months later to convince them to rejoin the B.P.R.D. because they weren’t faring too well without them.
That said, they came back, negotiated a new contract with the Bureau and got thing going again.
So far so good? Everybody’s following?
Ok, but in between the time Klauss went and came, time passed and the strange would be family had to deal with being cooped up inside their property for an extended period of time; and with Liz being the only to be able to claim a certain anonymity, Abe had to rely on her to bring entertainment to the house.
Yes. Entertainment. Abe Sapien is after all an intellectual with many PhD under his belt along with a certain mastery in many fields; he read many books a day to keep his superior mind from stagnating. But here in the middle of nowhere, without his precious library or the B.P.R.D. management to provided new material for him, boredom was threatening to turn him completely barmy.
The ensuing trials and errors made to combat this dreadful enemy, dubbed “The Great Commotion” by Hellboy, consisted of many little events where Abe tried many things with a varied degree of failure.
Come discover with us the numerous of hobbies Abraham Sapien tried during “The Great Commotion’’? What he did to make such an impression on Hellboy and Liz in that brief moment of insanity? Besides knitting?
These stories are a compilation of the most memorable and ridicule try that drove his housemate up the walls.
Enjoy.