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tara carpenter had been through a lot.
like, a lot.
her dad left when she was young, her mom fell into a spiral of alcohol (this addiction came with her saying she’d quit, AA and other rehabilitation methods—all of which were a miracle until her mother decided to stop trying), and sam began to grow distant with tara, falling into a hole of delinquency that caused judy to revoke her right to babysit wes.
it’s a small town. eventually, chad and mindy as well as amber weren’t allowed to be babysat by her either. tara stayed friends with them all, but it made her feel resentful. she didn’t have anyone to take care of her anymore. sam couldn’t do it for her anymore.
that was just putting it shortly, too.
now, of course, life had moved on. it always would. and tara’s 19th birthday was approaching.
she had always sort of hated her birthday, especially when it was acknowledged at school. she’d been held back in the 2nd grade, so she was a year older than everybody else. she couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed about it when it was mentioned, even if no one else cared.
amber, however, was pretty big on birthdays. she loved surprising people and making them happy on their special day. so of course she was hyped for tara’s birthday. she’d been planning out her gift for about a month leading up to the actual day, and tara was her girlfriend, so she definitely had to show out.
the day before tara’s birthday was date night, so amber and tara were gonna watch a movie and cuddle for a bit before one of them had to leave.
amber scrolled through netflix, tara laying on her lap. using her other hand, amber ran her hands through tara’s hair. it put tara at ease. it was her favorite part about date night. she never cared about what they were actually going to do. just being with amber was enough for her, always. it didn’t matter if they were just sitting in the same room and not talking. the presence was what mattered most.
date night was also fun in the sense that they could share things they loved with each other, which ultimately helped them grow closer than they already were. and that made the both of them happy. more happy than if they were doing it as best friends like they had been.
tara began to drift off, amber’s soothing touch acting as a lullaby for her. amber quickly noticed this and shut off the tv, giving up on her mission to find a movie to watch for fear of waking tara up with the noise. amber carefully set down the remote, trying not to jostle her too much. she kept playing with tara’s hair, looking down at the sleeping girl fondly.
amber felt her own eyes get tired. she laid her head back on the couch, thinking about tomorrow. the longer she thought about it, the more anxious she’d get. amber knew that tara didn’t really like her birthday. she wanted to be able to give tara good memories of it, as a way of showing tara that amber was glad tara was born. she knew it didn’t always feel like a good thing, especially considering tara’s… complicated home situation.
she decided not to think about it anymore and let her mind rest. soon enough, she’d fallen into a deep sleep.
…
despite having gone to bed later than tara, amber found herself awake before tara. amber slowly stood up, making sure not to disrupt her girlfriend’s sleep.
amber’s gaze lingered on tara’s face, wondering how she could be so effortlessly beautiful even while asleep. she brushed a stray hair out of tara’s face and (albeit hesitantly), walked away to add the final touches on her gifts for tara’s birthday.
first, amber had to put everything in a box. so far, she had prepared a spotify qr code that led to a playlist, a couple of letters about how much she loved tara, as well as a care package of a few of tara’s favorite snacks, drinks, and trinkets from things that tara was interested in.
amber had bought a cutesy box from michael’s that was adorned in flowers and a couple of amber’s own creatively-applied stickers. she pulled the box out from under her bed and began to place the gifts inside. she decided to add a bow to the top to give it some flair, and then shoved the box right back under her bed.
now, amber was going to make tara’s favorite breakfast—waffles.
amber walked into the kitchen and got out the scooby doo-shaped waffle maker. she collected the ingredients and mixed them all into a batter. then, she sprayed the waffle maker and began to pour the batter into the machine.
she prepared 2 waffles for tara, setting them on a plate on the table.
amber then started to make tara’s favorite type of coffee—an iced vanilla latte with liquid sugar and cream. tara wasn’t a huge coffee addict, and she definitely didn’t drink it everyday, but she’d always buy it if she woke up late for school. amber didn’t understand at first, but then she thought about it longer and realized that if she were late she’d also probably say fuck it and get a coffee, too. she wouldn’t have to worry about being on time, after all.
once she finished, amber set it on the table by the waffles and peeked her head into the living room. tara was still asleep, so amber went upstairs to take a shower and get ready for the day.
…
tara opened her eyes. immediately, she noticed that amber was no longer on the couch with her. she felt around, but it was to no avail. she sat up and looked behind her. amber wasn’t in the room at all.
she decided to get up and find amber, even though she would much rather lay on the couch for longer.
tara walked up the stairs and looked down the hall. she walked into amber’s room, hoping to find her girlfriend asleep or writing or something like that.
her room was empty but her computer was still on, meaning that amber had only just barely left the room. tara took a quick glance at the computer screen. it was open to the stab subreddit, where she was arguing with someone hating on tori spelling’s performance in stab 1. tara chuckled. amber would defend tori spelling’s performance as sidney to her grave .
tara walked back down the stairs and looked in the kitchen. she didn’t find amber, but she did find the meal that she assumed amber had prepared.
as if amber had sensed tara’s prying eyes, amber walked into the kitchen.
“tara! you’re awake!” she exclaimed, excited to see her girlfriend. amber had only woken up about an hour ago, but she somehow already missed her girlfriend. tara turned around, shocked by amber’s sudden appearance.
amber looked behind tara, mentally facepalming at herself. the meal was supposed to be a surprise. “oh, um… that was supposed to be a surprise for you,” amber said sheepishly. “you know, because it’s your birthday.” she scratched her neck. a nervous habit of hers.
tara smiled and wrapped her arms around amber’s waist. “it’s okay. i appreciate it anyway.” she said, leaning in for a kiss. amber giggled, breaking away for a moment to look at tara. she leaned back in for one more kiss and then hugged her.
“i love you, tara.”
“i love you too.”
amber broke away from the embrace. “well, breakfast isn’t the only surprise i have for you today,” amber said, ruffling tara’s hair. tara scrunched up her nose. amber swore she almost forgot how to breathe for a moment. tara was just so cute .
“more surprises? for me?” tara teased. amber rolled her eyes and laughed. “yes, dumbass. it’s your birthday, isn’t it?” amber swiftly replied.
“unless… i could take all of your presents? then maybe it’s a surprise gift for myself?” tara playfully pushed amber away from her and stuck her tongue out. she snuck a kiss on the cheek and walked back into the living room without saying anything else. amber stood there in the kitchen for a moment more, letting her brain and heart soar with thoughts of tara.
she quickly followed tara suit into the living room. “do you wanna jump into the surprises now or chill for a bit?” amber asked, sitting down on the couch next to her girlfriend. tara thought about it for a moment.
she ran her hands through her hair and asked, “if we do the surprises now, we can cuddle more later, right?”
“we can do whatever you want us to do. so i think that’s a yes.” tara leaned into amber at this, letting herself soak up the moment. her birthday had just barely started, but she was already having a surprisingly good time. she loved amber so much.
“alright, where are we going first?”
…
amber remembered that tara used to love roller skating as a kid. she said she used to go all the time with sam, until sam eventually… grew distant . tara hadn’t gone ever since then, always saying that it just didn’t feel worth it or something like that. but she still looked back on those experiences fondly, even though things in her life had changed.
so, naturally, the first stop was the roller rink. luckily, nobody else was skating this early in the morning, so tara and amber had the rink completely to themselves.
amber kept her hands over tara’s eyes, acting as a blindfold. “alright, just a few more steps forward…”
tara giggled. “come on, when can i see?” she said, placing her hands atop amber’s. tara moved amber’s hands from her eyes slowly, just in case amber wanted to keep them closed still. she didn’t, as evidenced by her letting tara move her hands.
tara gasped. she didn’t even really remember what the roller rink looked like at this point. it’d been so long since she last visited. all of the employees used to know her and sam, always excited when they’d skate every thursday. but she was happy to find it still in the same condition. the walls had the same old pattern, the flooring was still as soft as she remembered—the only difference was that they got newer rentable roller skates.
“you remembered?” was all tara could manage to say. she was taken aback. all she could think of was her and sam. they used to have so much fun here.
amber grabbed tara’s hand, her touch delicate and soft. tara already knew that she loved amber— a lot— but right now, at this very moment, it felt like fireworks. she felt like she’d fallen in love with amber for the very first time again. everything felt perfect.
amber always made her feel that way. the others not always agreeing with her choice of a partner (regretfully) made tara unsure of her and amber’s relationship at times, but now… she was sure. amber was the one .
she had to be.
amber pulled tara onto the roller rink excitedly. she smiled at tara, but her expression suddenly dropped. amber had been so happy to show tara the rink again that she’d forgotten that she didn’t actually know how to skate.
“shit!” amber exclaimed under her breath. she fell on her tailbone, nearly taking tara down with her. tara giggled and extended her hand to help lift amber up. amber took it, her legs shaking as she stood up. she gripped tara’s shoulders urgently. tara wrapped her arms around amber’s waist suddenly.
amber’s hold on tara’s shoulders grew softer. “oh, um,” amber began, “i forgot that i…don’t know how to skate. whoops.” she chuckled awkwardly, growing extremely aware of tara’s hands on her waist. amber blushed. even though they’d been dating for a while now, being close to tara’s face still made amber nervous and giddy.
snapping herself out of her daze, amber swiftly wrapped her arms around tara’s shoulders. then, she leaned in and kissed her. it was fleeting, but it felt special. but of course it did. tara was special. she had soft pillowy lips, like how amber imagined clouds to feel, and they felt just right against amber’s own.
“let’s skate, yeah?”
“you mean… have me skate? you can barely stand up on your own,” tara scoffed.
…
after 2 hours of roller skating, amber took tara to her favorite place to get drinks. they sold all sorts of beverages; smoothies, iced teas, tea blends, coffee, cute themed ones that had various different types of drink classifications. tara’s favorite (and her usual order) was a blend of strawberry, pomegranate, and a type of energy drink that she didn’t know the name of.
amber took tara inside. tara grinned at amber excitedly, quickly giving her a peck on the cheek. the woman behind the counter noticed them, immediately walking over to the part of the counter that the two of them were waiting at. “what’ll it be today, ladies?” she asked.
tara instantly recited her order. the lady wrote it down on a notepad. amber thought over her order for a moment more before finally settling on a drink. it was fashionably titled firecracker . the short description indicated that it was a blended energy drink, with strawberry, blue raspberry, and orange mixed in.
another employee guided them to a seat in the back corner, pointing out some of the card games that they could play while waiting. the two of them thanked the worker gracefully as tara reached for the deck of cards sitting on the table.
“do you know any card games?” tara asked, shuffling the deck. after she finished, she took the last few cards and shoved each one somewhere in the middle, and then put the top card at the very bottom.
“why does it matter if i do? it’s your birthday,” amber looked at her inquisitively. tara lowered her brow, shooting the look right back at amber. “you don’t know any, do you?” tara implicated.
amber held a small smile on her face. “i only know slapjack.” she scratched her neck, thinking about how irritating it’d be to play slapjack in a public area. amber always got so aggressive when she played. tara was just lucky that she was sick the last time the friend group played it. it was brutal . tara probably wouldn’t even be safe, and she was amber’s girlfriend .
“how about… we play bullshit?” tara suggested, already passing out the cards. amber shrugged and nodded. tara seemed excited to show amber the game, so amber found it hard not to be excited herself.
tara straightened out her deck of cards and began to explain the game. “okay, so you can either lie, hence the name bullshit , or tell the truth in this game…” tara said, tidying up amber’s own card deck for her. amber smirked. tara was always thinking of her first. “let’s say i had a 5 of hearts. i put it down and say i have a 2 of spades or something like that. you call bullshit and get to check the card,” tara continued.
“you discover i’m lying, so i have to add all the cards that were put down to my deck.” she said simply. amber nodded and periodically hummed along to signify that she was listening. “now, i don’t wanna be here forever… so instead of adding all the cards to your deck, whenever bullshit is rightfully called on you, you have to take a sip of your drink!”
amber chuckled. she didn’t say it aloud, but she could stay here forever. just as long as tara’s there with her, it wouldn’t be a problem. still, time moved on, and the worker from before came out and gave the two of them their drinks. tara always drank things with a straw, so amber specially requested one for her.
tara joyfully stuck the straw into her beverage. “alright, are you up for playing?” she asked, taking a sip of her blood-red drink. amber raised her brow and quirked her head upward, gesturing a yes.
“you know it.” amber said confidently, as if she’d just won a first place prize. to sell her aura, amber swiped the drink out of tara’s hands and took a sip from it. she watched tara’s face grow redder as she gave tara’s drink back. “pretty good, by the way,” amber broke the silence.
tara chuckled, teetering on embarrassed, but mainly just flustered by amber’s actions. amber loved that the simplest things could make tara feel that way. perhaps most would feel endeared, but amber almost felt powerful. she was so grateful to have gotten tara before wes. that was what was so powerful about it.
clearing her throat, tara flipped up a card, immediately saying “4 of hearts.”
amber studied her body language. tara had tells. small, but very effective at giving her away once you figured them out. amber noticed a slight quirk in tara’s eyebrow. lying .
“bullshit.” amber replied, matter-of-factly. tara was unfazed by this. she smirked at amber coyly. “check for yourself,”
amber squinted her eyes and flipped over the card. it was a 4 of hearts. shit, that was smart.
…
it was 2pm. it was still relatively early in the day to most, but tara and amber were exhausted . they’d went skating, which was a lot of heavy-lifting on tara’s part because amber couldn’t skate for her life; then, they went to get drinks at tara’s favorite spot and played bullshit for hours . naturally, amber snuck in some slapjack, but tara quit after 3 rounds because amber kept beating her.
the two of them returned to amber’s house. her parents were out of town for business as per usual, so the house belonged to just them for now. they took off their shoes and headed up to amber’s room.
amber queued up a playlist and put her computer at low volume. it was her playlist that she’d made for tara, but tara didn’t know that yet. the melody played faintly throughout the room, tara relaxed noticeably as she sunk into amber’s king-sized bed.
placing the laptop on her desk, amber quickly returned to the bed with tara. she carefully slid herself next to her girlfriend, trying not to jostle her too much. tara quickly readjusted her position, laying her head on amber’s chest. amber’s heartbeat quickened as tara made herself comfortable. she then reached for amber’s hand, intertwining their fingers.
“today was so special,” tara murmured, “thank you for like… putting so much effort into it.” she said softly, reminiscing on her past birthdays. they’d never been like this. something always went wrong, usually… but this time around, tara wasn’t scared about that. she knew that amber wouldn’t let that happen.
amber found her gaze falling onto tara, almost amused. she simply shook her head. “yeah, of course. i mean, you’re my girlfriend. i want your birthday to be as special as possible,” she scoffed. “like… i love you.” amber planted a kiss on tara’s forehead. and then another. and then another .
she wanted to keep kissing her, and holding her, and looking at her—but tara pulled away briefly. “i love you too, amber…” she rolled her eyes, making the declaration of love seem as if it were business-as-usual ( it wasn’t—amber loved tara too much for it to be so simple ).
after further pondering, tara continued: “but i really mean this. you’re like, the best. and this means a lot to me, because you know… how my birthday has a tendency of being. so the fact you did all of this… it’s a first for me, and i love it. i love you .” she took a deep breath and kissed amber before she could say anything.
when they broke apart, amber immediately jumped back in. and they kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and kissed until they just about couldn’t anymore because they were so breathless.
although amber was still catching her breath from all of the kissing, she tried to speak anyway. she took one more shaky breath in and began, “well, wait… there’s just one more thing i have for you,”
tara lifted herself up off of amber, looking at her girlfriend probingly. amber began to slink away, hopping off of the bed. “you’re gonna have to close your eyes for it, though,” she said.
amber stood by the door. she faced tara, crossing her arms. tara complied with amber’s request as her eyes quickly fluttered shut. amber quietly moved toward the bed again, delicately pulling out the box she had prepared earlier. she then stood up, moving herself to be just a little bit behind where tara was sitting on the bed.
amber put her arms around tara, placing the box in her girlfriend’s lap. “alright, you can open your eyes now.” amber’s hands lingered on tara’s waist.
she could hear tara gasp. she didn’t say anything as she admired the box. tara then slid off the cover, situating it next to her. she slowly looked through the contents of the box.
“one of those qr code keychains?” tara said, and despite amber being unable to see her face, she could sense tara’s smile. tara then flipped over a few of the letters, saying things like holy shit and that’s a lot . amber simply shrugged at this. of course it was a lot—it was tara’s birthday, after all.
tara held up one of the items from the care package. “no. fucking. way.” she gawked at the stuffed animal in her hand; it was a soft and well-made pink dolphin with a pale underbelly. dolphins were tara’s favorite animal, and amber knew that pink was her favorite color, too. so the gift only seemed appropriate.
tara whipped around to face amber, dolphin plushie still in her hands. she showed it to amber like a first place trophy and shoved it into her hands. amber held it, confused as to why tara was giving it back
“fuck everything else. feel how soft that is.” she pointed at the dolphin. “that’s literally a cloud. you’re holding a soft fluffy cloud. you’re holding a miracle ,”
amber laughed at her girlfriend’s antics. tara just as quickly stole back the dolphin as she gave it. she held it close to her chest and beamed. her eyes were filled with such starstruck wonder. amber finally felt peace; she’d been worried that her gift wouldn’t be enough, or even that she’d overwhelm tara with everything she’d planned. but seeing tara smile so genuinely, overflowing with joy, the waves fell silent.
she’d done something right this time around. tara finally had a good birthday for the first time in years . even better, amber was the reason behind it. that was all amber wanted—to make tara happy.
…
tara had flipped through all of the other contents in the box shortly after her mini-cuddle session with the dolphin plush. she grinned and gushed over the other items inside of the box, the occasional comment of wonderment following them.
soon enough, tara had picked her way through all of the box’s contents. she put a great deal of them back, leaving the arizona iced tea out on the nightstand for her to drink later. amber stood up so that tara didn’t have to and put the box on her desk.
amber returned to the bed with tara and they cuddled up next to one another once more. tara rested her head on the crook of amber’s neck, amber slinging her arm around tara’s waist.
tara felt herself drift off with a full heart. she was excited to wake up after their nap and see amber again. ever since they started dating, that was one of the only things tara looked forward to. not to say that her life was pointless otherwise—she just spent a majority of her day thinking about amber and the next time she’d see her. amber was just better than everyone else. tara loved her, after all.
amber similarly felt herself grow more tired. she couldn’t think. she simply focused on the feeling of being so close to tara. tara radiated warmth, and on a less-physical level, she radiated comfort, too. it was amber’s own version of a lullaby.
so just as they had the night before, they fell asleep together, and everything was okay.