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Jouno Saigiku never cries. Infact, Tecchou would put him as one of the last people he'd think he’d see crying. Until now, with his dear partner against his chest, beads of tears staining his maroon uniform.
The two of them were out on a mission in Tokyo, something about a potential terrorist attack on the subway station. They were staying in a fancy hotel, their rooms nearer to the ground level. Jouno insisted on having separate rooms because he wouldn’t be able to stand having to sleep in the same room as Tecchou. Jouno’s room was right beside his, he was sure his silver-haired partner would be making a fuss tomorrow about how annoying he is, even in his room, something about his footsteps or heartbeat being too loud.
Now that he was thinking about it, who was Jouno to him? Jouno was his partner, someone he could trust, his friend. Or could you even call it that? They were usually together, talked regularly and trusted each other. At least that’s what Tecchou thought. The other male was always talking about how he hated his guts. Tecchou never paid it any mind, after all it was just how Jouno is. The more he thought on the topic, the more confusing it became. He had always just assumed they were friends because they were always together on missions, but now, he wasn’t really sure. Glazing out at the bright city, blanketed by a dark, starless night, he thought deeper.
Knock.
Are friends supposed to know each other's favourite food?
Knock knock.
Oh god, did he even know Jouno’s birthday?
BANG! BANG!
The loud thud brought Tecchou back to his senses, the sky had turned grey and rain was starting to pour. But who could be at his door at this hour? And banging this aggressively too. Nevertheless, he walked towards it.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Whoever was behind the door was impatient, maybe there was an emergency. He put his hand on the handle and twisted it open. A familiar white-haired male practically fell in. Taking a step back out of shock, Tecchou managed to catch his partner in time.
“Don’t ask. Don’t even move.” Jouno hissed, even though it came out more like a plea.
Tecchou really wanted to ask what had happened, but hearing his partner’s words, decided against it. The shorter male’s body leaned against Tecchou’s, his head in his chest. He couldn’t see his expression, but he could tell the latter was stressed. Well firstly, Jouno wouldn’t just randomly barge into Tecchou’s room and sleep on him, and secondly, that he was breathing extremely heavily with his hands covering his ears. No. He was tearing at it. Jouno was practically trying to scratch off his ears with the strength he was holding them at. Tecchou brought his hands up to try and comfort the male, or at least stop him from hurting himself. However, the moment his hands met Jouno’s–
“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME” Jouno screamed out.
Both males seemed to have been startled by the sudden reaction. Jouno never screamed before, even when he was in pain. He was always calm and composed, and he kept that facade extremely well. An outsider would never be able to tell what he was actually feeling, sometimes even Tecchou couldn’t. Jouno was never open about his emotions either, at least until now.
Jouno had stopped clawing at his ears, and was just holding them now. As if complying with Tecchou’s earlier wish to stop him from doing so. He pulled away from Tecchou but stood at a close position. Now that he had a clearer view, Tecchou could tell Jouno was very clearly distressed. His hair was dishevelled, he had the hotel blanket wrapped around him, the bags under his eyes became more prominent and it was as if his partner had aged 30 years within the few hours they hadn’t seen each other.
“I… This…” Jouno was struggling to form a sentence.
“I need to… I…” Tecchou patiently waited. “Just let me stay for a bit.” Jouno finally managed to compose his sentence; what he said came as much of a surprise to Tecchou. Taking the silence as an answer, Jouno just walked further into the brunette’s room. Feeling his way against the walls and laying down on the bed.
“Care to explain why you’re in my room this late?” Tecchou asked, breaking the silence. Jouno didn’t respond, curling up into a ball, hands still over his ears, back facing Tecchou. Sitting down beside the man, Tecchou wondered what could have made Jouno feel this distressed, and why he had been trying to claw his ears out earlier.
Suddenly, a car honked in the distance. Jouno flinched and immediately covered his ears again. Then suddenly, all the pieces in Tecchou’s mind clicked together. Jouno could hear more than the average person, everyday sounds that may have just been ignored by Tecchou weren’t by Jouno, it was extremely hard for him to filter out the sound, in fact it was near impossible with his heightened senses. The rain, traffic, and people were all too much for him.
The traffic got louder, the rain seemed to have caused a jam. Drivers were honking their horns every few seconds. And Jouno seemed to have gotten worse. In fact, he was crying. It went from a few drops of tears to full on sobbing. Even though he couldn’t see his face, he could really tell that Jouno was in agony.
Suddenly, Jouno felt a larger pair of hands over his. The sudden contact made him flinch, even though he knew full well whose hands it was.
“You know this doesn’t help much right?”
“Yeah, but it’s the least I could do.”
“...”
Jouno turned over. Suddenly realising how awkward this situation must be. And how he was ever going to be able to converse with Tecchou ever again after this. As the embarrassment set in, alongside the agonising annoyance he felt, it only prompted Jouno to cry more. Tecchou combed his hand through Jouno’s hair in an attempt to try and comfort him. To be honest, he was at a complete loss, he had never seen Jouno like this before and had no idea how to act. Jouno nuzzled himself deeper into Tecchou’s embrace. Taking in his scent, trying to focus more on Tecchou, his heartbeat, that always made him groan in dread the moment he heard it, was surprisingly calming now. And his breathing, which he had also always found annoying, provided him with another sense of comfort.
Jouno cried, and Tecchou was simply there to hold him. He didn’t even know why he was crying anymore, but he hadn’t allowed himself to be vulnerable for as long as he could remember. And never would he have thought that Tecchou, of all people, would be the first to see him like this. Nevertheless, Jouno still felt safe, that was all he needed. So he laid there, basking in the moment. Tecchou, as he held his crying partner, felt a sense of warmth. This interaction had answered the questions he had earlier.
To Tecchou, Jouno Saigiku was someone he loved. And for Jouno, the answer was the same, as much as he’d hate to agree.