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movie night is nothing out of the ordinary. at least, jimin has never felt tense during movie night before. it’s usually a chance to relax, to unwind, to stop thinking about schedules and dance practices and photoshoots and try to pull themselves into a different plane of reality. a mental vacation.
but it’s hard to take a mental vacation when hoseok is sitting so damn close.
it’s not that he isn’t used to hoseok being close. hoseok likes being close. he’s close to jimin most of the time, with his wandering hands and ridiculous laugh and incessant praises that make his face heat up and set off a deeper burn somewhere inside of him. it’s hard to explain. it’s hard to even think about, like why in the hell is hoseok even sitting so close in the first place when there’s enough room on the couch for them to spread out more.
in hindsight, he should just be thankful that no one else decided to sit there. he should be glad for the way that jeongguk has this weird preference for being on the floor and the way that taehyung seems physically incapable of being more than a foot away from him at all times, if he even gets that far. it ends with jeongguk’s back resting against the free space on the couch next to hoseok and taehyung sort of half laying against his side, both of them heavily focused on the screen in front of them.
of course they are. it’s iron man.
jimin has lost track of how many times he’s watched this movie by now. or, more accurately, how many times he’s been forced to watch this movie because jeongguk is an actual child more often than he is the mature, handsome young man that he likes to appear to be. maybe that’s why it’s so easy for his mind to start wandering, for his attention to shift from the screen to the way that there are fingers lightly resting over his thigh.
it’s nothing out of the ordinary. hoseok is touchy and jimin is used to it, for the most part. he plays along with him and shoves him away for the cameras and for the sake of his own sanity sometimes, but it’s not like this is something that’s never happened before. it’s not like jimin is like jeongguk, who bristles at most physical contact unless it’s coming from a certain bright-eyed, deep-voiced flower child of a best friend.
still, there’s something about it that flips a switch in the back of his mind. it’s a familiar switch. the switch that says, uh-oh, hoseok.
that’s putting it lightly.
there are a lot of things about hoseok that set him on edge. there’s the way that he’s so free with the things that he says, words like i really like jimin and why do you have to look so good? falling off of his tongue with an ease that can start to border on overwhelming sometimes. there’s the way that hoseok looks at him sometimes, the heat that catches in their gaze and instantly charges the air between them with this strange, tangible something that jimin can’t explain. it’s terrifying. it’s terrifying and confusing and it absolutely turns him on, sets his nerves buzzing on alert.
just like the subtle slide of hoseok’s fingers, shifting from just-above-his-knee to higher, more like just-on-the-inside-of-my-thigh-holy-shit. silently, jimin curses the fact that they’re underneath a blanket. of course they’re underneath a fucking blanket. this is so high school that his face is starting to feel like it’s on fire.
maybe he’s just imagining things. yeah, that’s it. that has to be it. that totally has to be it.
or that would be it, if it weren’t for the fact that hoseok’s fingers are starting to press against the material of his athletic shorts, slow, rhythmic circles that definitely are not a product of jimin’s imagination.
fuck, jimin’s thinking to himself. fuck fuck fuck. is this really happening right now? this is really happening right now. he can feel hoseok’s eyes on him, the way that his gaze gets so intense sometimes that it could make him burst into flames at any given moment. he can feel it and it makes his throat run dry, makes a rush of heat surge through him that goes right between his legs because god.
hoseok does this to him. hoseok's done this to him since god knows when, since a long time ago when it was easier to blame everything on erratic teenage hormones and the life of an idol that makes it impossible to get laid. he could still blame it on that, if he wanted to. he could try.
but he knows better. hoseok does, too. it's hard not to know better after the one and only time that the line was almost crossed. after they got a little too close on jimin's bed while he was celebrating a victory in some video game that didn't matter, after he had finally closed the distance that always lingered between them with a confidence that's sporadic at best. from what he remembers, hoseok had been an amazing kisser. but there isn't much to remember. it was a rush of heat and adrenaline, a kiss that escalated too fast and lasted all of maybe ten seconds before jimin's sporadic confidence had shifted into something more like holy-shit-what-the-fuck-are-we-doing. fear is a powerful thing. fear mixed with uncertainty and that voice that jimin hates, the one in the back of his mind that always wonders why the hell would he even want to do this with me?
it doesn't matter why. hoseok wants to, and jimin does, too. he knows because of the way that jimin had looked at him then, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. his voice had been soft but hoseok heard him when he said "it's not that i don't want to."
there is a long list of things that hoseok wants to do with jimin. it ranges from kissing every part of him to convenience store dates at 3am to making him laugh when he's sad to giving him the pleasure he deserves to making sure he knows how wonderful he is, inside and out, and how much he deserves to be loved. hoseok wants to love him. he wants he wants he wants, but love takes time and there are other things he can give jimin right now, if he'll let him.
jimin isn't entirely sure if he wants to let him. but he makes the mistake of turning his head, meeting the heated stare that he knows is waiting for him but it still makes something catch in his throat. there's a twinge of something low in his stomach, tongue swiping along his own lower lip on instinct and he doesn't miss the way that hoseok's gaze flicks down. fuck. he can't quite meet hoseok's gaze because he's getting hard and he knows it. this is stupid. this is dangerous and stupid for at least a thousand reasons but the thing is, he doesn't want it to stop.
jimin breaks the eye contact, turning his attention back to the television screen in front of them. hoseok would have been disappointed if it weren't for the way that jimin shifts, the smallest kind of movement but it's enough. it gets him a little closer, gets his thighs open a little wider and hoseok just knows. it's jimin giving him the green light for the first time ever, and he can't believe that this is happening.
there's a certain art to getting someone off underneath a blanket while in a room with other people and making sure that nobody notices. it's the kind of thing that most people experience at least once, when they're in gradeschool, still living at home and trying to figure out a way to take the edge off without going too far. the idol lifestyle hasn't always allowed for those kinds of necessary life developments. maybe that's why jimin can't help thinking that it feels so high school, but at the same time his heart is pounding a little too fast and he'll be completely hard in a matter of seconds, at this rate.
it really is dangerous. it's all kinds of dangerous but hoseok knows that it's now or never and he can't help worrying that if he doesn't take the plunge now, he'll lose his chance. so he walks his fingers up jimin's thigh, teases them across the elastic waist of his shorts and then back down.
fuck. hoseok can feel him. he can feel the way that jimin is more than half hard, well on his way and immediately his nerves are tingling because he's only been imagining this for years, it feels like. he wants to make jimin feel good. he wants to know that he can make jimin feel good. he slides his palm over the outline of his cock through the fabric and squeezes.
jimin gasps. it's soft and involuntary but fuck. fuck. it's been a long time since the last time anyone else got him off. it's been a long time since he felt anything that was really satisfying, and suddenly he wonders if this is a good idea after all only because he doesn't know if he can keep it quiet.
"i know, right?" it's taehyung's voice, slightly muted by the haze of arousal that's settling nicely around jimin's consciousness, still thin enough for him to realize and appreciate that apparently he gasped during an appropriate moment.
"shhh." jeongguk shushes him and taehyung settles and hoseok's hand is still on him, slowly massaging his clothed cock in a way that kind of makes him want to cry, it's so good.
it's hard to realize just how much you miss someone else's touch when you get used to living without it. for a while now jimin's been operating under the assumption that things like sexual satisfaction just have to wait and settle on the backburner for idols like them. that's what he keeps telling himself despite the way that hoseok always looks at him.
that's what he's tried to be sure of, despite the questionable sounds he swears he's heard coming from taehyung's bed once or twice when he thinks everyone is asleep. jeongguk usually sneaks back out before morning, but not always.
but it's even harder to be sure of anything when it feels so fucking good. it's pathetic. he feels pathetic, fighting an urge to roll his hips up and ask for more because he has to force himself to remember that they aren't alone.
hoseok knows. he can feel the subtle tensing in jimin's muscles, the way that his stomach clenches when he presses harder and this is not really the way that he wanted to get jimin off for the first time but he'll take it. god, he'll take it.
because jimin is a work of art. he's a goddamn masterpiece and hoseok can't take his eyes off of him, doesn't care if he gets caught staring or not because making sure that he doesn't miss this is too important. the curve of his neck is important, the bob of his adam's apple when he swallows hard and the slow drag of his tongue across his lips. hoseok wants to kiss him. he wants to open jimin up and taste every part of him, wants to nose along his skin and leave little love bites, wants to whisper things into his ear and press his face into his hair until jimin has no choice but to believe all of it.
jimin who pushes himself too hard. jimin who's always training, practicing, dieting, refusing to see the image of himself that's right here. hoseok has never seen someone so beautiful, has never admired someone so much, has never felt his heart threaten to break just because he wants more than anything to show jimin the side of him that he sees every day.
he just wants jimin to know how beautiful he is, and that he'll spend forever trying to make him understand if he has to.
jimin turns his head again. he catches hoseok's gaze and his eyes are so dark. there's a grin just under the surface, trying to fight its way through but it's hard when jimin looks like this, like he's telling hoseok just how much he needs without saying anything at all.
there's a subtle wetness forming under his fingers, and hoseok is addicted to it. the slide is easier and jimin is completely hard now, hard enough that he can feel all of him, can trace from the base all the way up to the tip. he presses his thumb against the head experimentally and jimin bites down on his lip, barely rolls his hips forward and it's subtle enough. it isn't enough to be obvious but it's enough to get the point across, so hoseok does it again and jimin tries to control his breathing.
he shouldn't be this close. he shouldn't be close at all from practically nothing, a little heavy petting over gym shorts. but he is. god, he is, and he needs hoseok to take him the rest of the way there more than anything else right now.
it doesn't matter that they aren't alone. it doesn't matter that he's going to come in his pants under a blanket while iron man is playing on the television in the fucking living room. it doesn’t matter that this is hoseok, hoseok, his good friend and bandmate, someone who seems to have made it his life’s mission to shower jimin in compliments and affections that he never quite feels like he deserves. hoseok with his easy smiles and infectious laughs and that genuine something that jimin craves and yet pushes away all at the same time.
it’s precisely because it’s hoseok that he’s unraveling so quickly. because hoseok is observative and attentive in all the right ways, which should be impossible when all that he’s doing is barely anything at all. the need to be careful doesn't leave much room for experimentation, for much of anything aside from the rhythmic slide up and down the length of his cock, the occasional press against the head that leaves jimin biting at his lip so hard that it might bleed.
everything is calculated. it's slow, slow enough that hoseok's hand won't rustle the blanket and call attention to what exactly they're doing right now. it's slow enough to keep jimin wanting, lingering just on the edge of an orgasm that already has his nerves on fire. it's hard to control his breathing, hard to focus on keeping himself completely silent instead of releasing the soft moans and whimpers that want so badly to escape. he wants to let them. he has to fight against the want to let himself fall into this completely, the insane urge suddenly clawing at his stomach to kiss hoseok breathless.
instead, he locks fingers high on hoseok's wrist. his body tells hoseok everything he needs to know, from the way nails are just starting to bite against skin to the tense muscles in his thighs, like his body has to wind itself up as tight as possible in order to let go.
jimin's head is turned towards hoseok when he comes. his eyes are closed, brow furrowed because it's impossible to focus on anything but the strong crash against his system. he comes so hard that is has him throbbing, toes curling, teeth biting hard into his lip again because there's an embarrassing sound just waiting for a chance to escape. hoseok can see the quickened rise and fall of his chest even if he can't hear it because jimin is a vocalist, well trained in controlling the sounds that he makes. he can feel the way that jimin relaxes once the wave has subsided, the grip on his arm that loosens but doesn't leave completely.
the movie isn't over yet. hoseok doesn't want to overstimulate him, but he isn't ready to stop touching him, either. his fingers shift, tracing patterns over his thigh again, until jimin catches them and threads them through his own.
the anxieties and uncertainties don't catch back up to him yet. not immediately, because he's still a little touch-drunk and riding that post-orgasm high, a steady satisfaction settling deep in his bones.
"jiminnie."
he wakes up to a gentle jostling and hoseok's voice, too close. by the time he blinks himself awake and the room starts to come back into focus, he realizes that he was asleep on hoseok's shoulder. oh.
he's still squinting a little, and hoseok thinks it's absolutely adorable when he sits up and looks around the room, trying to make sense of what happened.
"the kids went to bed," he supplies, and jimin nods, rubbing at his eye with his free hand. hoseok kind of wants to kiss him.
instead, he pulls them up, feels a small flutter in his stomach that comes with the way jimin keeps a firm hold on his fingers and lets hoseok guide him to their room. taehyung's bed is empty, and jimin thinks that he can hear low, hushed voices from down the hall.
"is taetae sleeping with jungkookie?" he asks, even if it's obvious. his voice is heavy with sleep and hoseok chuckles, watching the way that jimin lazily shuffles over to his dresser, gently breaking the link between them.
"mm," he makes a noise of confirmation. "some horror trailer played after the credits and he said he was too scared to sleep without a cuddle buddy."
jimin laughs softly, produces a pair of fresh boxers to sleep in and turns to take them to the bathroom.
hoseok could let him go. he could go to bed and they could move on without talking about what just happened, if he were the kind of person that could be okay with this. the kind of person that could be okay with feeling so much every time he looks at someone but offering them a kind of distraction, a release that might just be a one time thing.
he can’t be okay with that. he can’t and he doesn’t want to be, so his fingers catch on jimin’s elbow, gently pulling sleepy eyes up to look at him curiously.
“hyung, i’m tired.”
jimin is loose and relaxed, and hoseok knows that he’s tired. he’s too tired to be worried about how he looks or what he’s saying, too tired for the insecurities and doubts to come bubbling up and spill over. it’ll hit in the morning, he’s sure. he knows jimin well enough to be concerned about what this means, where it will lead to. he doesn’t want jimin to regret anything.
was that okay? did you like it? was it too much? you’re beautiful when you come. you’re gorgeous. you’re amazing.
there are too many words backed up in hoseok’s throat, too many things that he wants to say. but he knows jimin well enough to know that they’re too much. maybe everything was too much. hoseok doesn’t worry about being over-the-top often, but with jimin, the last thing he wants is to take a misstep that could cost him everything.
“did you like the movie?”
the question he settles for instead sparks a brief confusion in jimin’s eyes before his sleepy mind catches up to what hoseok is really asking. he hopes that it’s vague enough to keep things okay, even if it’s just for now.
“... i did,” jimin finally answers, followed by a lazy little smile that tugs at the corners of his lips. hoseok can’t help looking at them. “it was good,” jimin continues, and wets his lips with his tongue out of habit. hoseok wants to kiss him. he really, really wants to kiss him. but not like this. not while jimin is tired and he isn’t entirely sure where the boundaries are anymore.
he still can’t believe that that just happened. but jimin looks happy. he looks relaxed, not so uptight, not so worried, and that alone is more than worth it.
hoseok grins, nods once and lets go of jimin’s arm. “good.”
it’s a simple answer, one that’s trailed by a soft chuckle that stops abruptly when jimin shifts forward, stands on his toes and presses a kiss to the corner of hoseok’s mouth. he stares at him like he’s sure that he’s gone crazy, like this must be some kind of incredibly lucid dream.
it isn’t, and jimin smiles at him. it’s a real smile, one that turns his eyes into crescents and tugs at hoseok’s heart.
“we should have another movie night, hyung.”
jimin’s voice is soft and a second later he’s slipping past hoseok. the click of the bathroom door closing is what breaks him out of his daze, but he still goes to bed with a stupid smile on his face and a crazy, soaring feeling in his chest.
this isn’t the way that hoseok expected things to start. he really didn’t expect anything, but he’ll take it. god, he’ll take it.
