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‘I did not expect you to still be here’ is the first thing Carina said as she walks out the delivery room, going to Maya who is sitting on a bench across the hallway. ‘I wanted to make sure you are okay and if you need anything’ Maya says as she sat straight again after hours of waiting for her wife.
‘No I am not okay, I just saw one of my two co-workers get hit by a car because of a stronzo who can’t cope with women’s reproductive rights. Because of him I had to deliver a baby way to early so no, no I am very much not okay.’ Carina says with tears in her eyes and her voice hitches when she looks at her wife. Maya knows her wife needs to vent all her frustration before she can rest and start to process all this, she knows to other people it might come of as harsh but not Maya, Maya is going to be by her side the whole time.
‘I’m sorry that happend to you, what do you need love?’. Carina looks in her wife’s eyes for the first time this conversation and can see the worry reflect all over her face. All of a sudden she realizes how she was being a bit harsh and not focused at all at Maya even though she skipped her shift to come and see her. So Carina says ‘bambina, i’m so glad you came here today, I did’t know I just needed you.’
All she wants to do at this moment is wrap her arms around her wife’s neck and lean all her weight on her wife. But she can’t, not yet at least she wants to hold on to a certain boundary, not knowing how long she will be able to hold off. Carina knows how much her wife wants to touch her right know, it has always been their way of communicating, a way that soots them both.
She can almost see wheels turning behind Maya’s eyes about thinking what to say or do. They used to always know what to say or do in each others company and silences were never awkward. Carina can’t help but wonder if they will ever get back to that.
Finally Maya decides to speak up ‘Can I bring you to your hotel room if you are finished with your shift? I won’t find any peace tonight if I won’t know you are somewhere safe.’ Carina stays silent thinking in her own head, she is thinking her wife still knows what she needs. At that moment she can’t help but feel a glimmer of hope and give her wife a tight lipped smile and answers ‘yes please’.
Carina opens the door to her hotel room and just stands next to the bed with her face to Maya who is closing the door behind her. The firefighter leans her back against the door because she does not want to intervene her wife’s space but she also does not want to leave her. Carina looks around the room, avoiding eye contact with Maya and sees that the room is a mess. There are clothes, medical journals and plates of bad room service lying around. ‘I need to clean up this place’ she mumbles to herself and starts cleaning up with a speed Maya has never seen.
Maya watches her wife for a few minutes and says ‘you should not be doing this right now, you should get some rest’. Carina keeps her head bent down over her suitcase almost having forgotten her wife is still in the room with her, her only focus right know is keeping busy and not thinking about the sight of her co-worker lying on the ground after being hit with a car. After a few seconds Carina finally makes eye contact ‘you don’t get to tell me what to do’ she says with an ice cold look on her face.
Maya is startled by her wife cold reaction but does not take it personal knowing what a day she had ‘do you want me to go?’. This whole time Carina kept eye contact ‘I honestly don’t know’. With that Maya keeps her place by the door and keeps watching her wife going through the room like a hurricane.
After a few minutes Carina starts talking again ‘I just can’t believe someone would to something like that to a pregnant women. The baby was so small, it wasn’t ready to be in this cruel world already. And then you showed up at the hospital and I lost all my focus because of it.’
Maya tries to intervene her wife’s rambling ‘I just…’ but gets cut off. ‘What if it was me that was hit by the car?’ Maya gets goosebumps all over her body at that thought and shivers but continuous to listen. ‘I can’t help but wonder Maya. I know it is so selfish thinking about me right know at not fair to you because you are getting help and getting better but what if I died and you get left with our bambino? You can’t leave him then like you left me 7 months ago, you can’t leave then, you have to be there. At that moment Carina is shouting and gesturing widely with her arms ‘I just can’t stop wondering if I am signing up for more pain by forgiving you and if I want to bring a family into this’ with that Carina throws a glass that was standing on the desk to the wall and it shatters in a million pieces.
Maya was speechless watching her wife with tears in her eyes with no clue what to say. They stay like that watching each other for what seems like hours until Carina starts sobbing and starts to finally break down after a day of keeping everything together. The doctor feels her legs start to give out underneath her but Maya moves at a incredible speed and is holding her wife within the second.
Maya holds her wife so tight, never wanting to let go ever again, she starts leading them both to the ground to sit down. Maya is sitting against the end of the bed with her back and her arms tight around her wife who is still sobbing heartfelt cries, she is also crying but tries to keep it together for Carina. Trying to comfort her wife she kisses the top of her head and rubs her back up and down with her hand.
After a while Carina’s sobs start to reduce and she looks up to her wife to see her face tear stained as well and reaches up her hand to wipe away a few stray tears. Maya gives her a small smile ‘are you okay? Do you need anything?’. Carina thinks for a second and answers ‘I would love a bath’ she is suddenly very aware of her still being in her scrubs and feels the need to clean up and change. ‘Okay love I will draw you one’ with that Maya stands up and goes to the ensuite bathroom of the hotel room.
While Maya is in the bathroom the Italian lays down on the bed for a second feeling a headache come, she is surprised her wife is still here after the awful things she had just suggested about her. Maya comes out of the bathroom after a few minutes to clean up the broken glass on the floor, Carina’s heart breaks at the sight of her wife who has undoubtably been crying some more in the bathroom. Still Maya manages to give her wife a smile and says the bath is ready for her. Carina thanks her and gets up to move to the bathroom.
Maya stands nervously in the room and speaks up just as Carina is about to go in to the bathroom ‘I will leave you to your bath and text you later tonight to check up on you.’ Without making any eye contact and with her head down she makes her way to the door. Carina who is standing by the door of the bathroom whispers ‘please stay’ and she reaches her hand out to her wife, Maya sighs while looking at her wife’s hand and takes it. Carina leads the blonde to the bathroom where her bath is ready with bubbles and towels, she turns around facing her wife and starts unbuckling her belt, pulling down her pants and tossing of her t-shirt. Maya feels so good that her wife is touching her but can’t get over the feeling that this is not what they should be doing right know, but she can’t get that out, she whispers with tears in her eyes ‘Carina, please don’t’. Carina shakes her head and answers her wife ‘please let me do this, I need you now’.
Maya is now standing in her underwear while Carina starts undoing her bra, while doing so she kisses her wife’s shoulders and neck, she feels the skin beneath her lips get goosebumps and hears her wife release a sigh. When Maya is completely naked she guides her wife to the bathtub and lets her get in.
Maya looks away while the brunette starts to undress herself, when Carina notices she whispers with a certain urgency ‘Maya please look at me’. With that Maya looks at her wife, first looking in Carina’s eyes and then after confidence hits her again she looks at her wife’s body and says ‘you look beautiful’.
Carina gets in to the tub sitting between her wife’s legs and leans her back to Maya’s front. Immediately arms reach around her body and hold her tight, then she feels lips kissing her ear and feels a hot breath, hoping the kissing would continue it stops suddenly instead she hears ‘I’m so sorry you felt like that today because of me’. Carina can’t see Maya’s face right now but knows she is crying. Maya continues ‘I promise I will always be there from now on for you and for our family’ while saying that she releases the hold she has on her wife and lays her hands on Carina’s stomach. Carina feels a shudder running through her body at the feel of her wife’s hands on her belly like that, imagining a little bambino in it.
For the first time since she left her wife she can imagine them being happy again with a little family, she reaches for her wife’s hands and gives a few kisses on them and says ‘thank you for saying that bambina, I am sorry for yelling at you earlier’. Maya continues her kisses from earlier and reach everywhere she can reach with her lips in this position, she starts with tight lipped kisses and later on when Carina starts to give moans of appreciation she starts with open mouthed kisses that are wet and with a little sucking.
The blonde continues her descend and starts palming her wife’s lovely breasts, she can’t help wondering if they have grown before asking permission before continuing. Her wife hums and starts playing with a nipple which is already standing at attention, at this moment she regrets their position because she can’t put them in her mouth because Carina loves it when she sucks on her nipples.
Maya gets a little lost on her wife’s breast because she missed them so much, after a little while her wife asks her for what she wants most right now ‘please fuck me I am so wet right now’. Maya closes her eyes and moans at that sentence and immediately reaches her hands towards her wife’s sopping pussy, even in the water she can feel how wet she is.
She starts off with slowly massaging the brunettes clit for a few times before she reaches to the opening of her pussy. Before entering her wife she looks sideways to her wife face for confirmation, but she has her eyes closed and is moaning so Maya takes that as a yes and enters her wife with two fingers. At that Carina moans so loud and asks her wife to speed up ‘I won’t …hmm last long… hmm it’s been so long’.
A few determined strokes later Carina comes hard but silent, burying her face in her wife’s neck when coming down from her orgasm. Maya is overwhelmed with her feeling and holds her wife close while whispering I love you’s in her wife’s ears. After that they talk and wash each others hair and body’s like they have done before so many times but it feels like the first time for the both of them and they love it.