Work Text:
Thor shows up when Loki is out.
She heard a loud thump, thump, thump on her door. It struck her as odd because no one had asked to be buzzed in. She grabbed a knife from the kitchen before heading to the door. Perhaps Loki had had more of an influence than she realized. She opened the door and saw … a wall? A metal wall that filled the doorway. She looked up. And up. And finally spotted a face. Tanned, blonde beard, long blonde curls.
"Hello", he boomed. "Do you know where my brother is?"
"Uhm, your brother? Who are you? Who is your brother and why do you think I'd know where he is?"
"I'm Thor. My brother is Loki. And Heimdall tracked him here. "
"Here, here? Or in the general vicinity of here."
"Here. To Midgard. To this city, this block, this apartment here."
"Wow. Talk about tracking locations. That's what Qanon thinks Bill Gates can do with the Covid shots. We call that invasion of privacy, by the way. Bye." She shut the door in his face.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
She opened the door again. "What?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"What question?"
"Have you seen my brother, Loki."
"I thought you said Heimdall could find him? Why don't you ask him?"
"He said Loki was here."
"You ever think he might be wrong?"
"Heimdall is never wrong."
"Then what are you asking me for?"
"Because if he was in this apartment then you must have seen him."
"What does he look like?"
"He's tall and slender with green eyes and long black hair."
"Hmm. That sounds an awful lot like the Loki in the MCU."
"MCU?"
"Marvel Comics Universe. It's a series of movies about superheroes like you, Loki, Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk and a whole bunch of other people." He looked at her quizzically. "Oh here. Sit down. I'll play them for you." She sat him down on the floor, (she didn't trust her couch to support him) and started the first Thor movie.
In minutes he was roaring with laughter. "That never happened. That would never happen. I would never invade Jotunheim for such a ridiculous reason. And Heimdall would never open the Bifrost like that without the Allfather's approval."
(Continued explanation of what the movies got wrong.)
"That's what Loki said."
His whipped around. "I thought you said you didn't know my brother."
"No. You said 'do you know where my brother is.' I don't know where he is right now. You asked if I had seen your brother, Loki, but how am I supposed to know if the person I know as Loki is the same person you're looking for." "By the way, why do you want to find him anyway."
***********************
I don't understand. Why do so many women want Loki and not me?
Well, a lot of people prefer bad boys. Loki also has the advantage of being bisexual so people of all genders find him attractive. And, in the movies, he's unattached."
"Unattached?"
"Yes. He's not in a romantic relationship. You, on the other hand, are the good guy. You aren't a goody-goody but you mostly color within the lines. And you're in a relationship with Jane Foster."
"I don't know this 'Jane Foster'."
"That's because she's a fictional character."
**************
"Hello again, darling." He reached out and swept her into a warm embrace.
"Look who's here, sweetheart."
"What do you want", he snarled.
"Father was wondering where you were. "
"And I should care because…?"
"And mother is worried. "
"Way to bury the lead."
"What?"
"It's an earth phrase. It means you should have said that first because it's more important."
"Oh." Quizzical, "The Vanir want to renegotiate the treaty. Since you sorted out the last one, father thought it would be best for you to handle this one as well."
"Oh, very well. I'll be back as soon as I can, sweetheart."