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Felix picked at his food, staring out through the inn window at the steadily darkening skies over Vault. Now that he was inside, he couldn't see Mt. Aleph, just the back of the bakery and a few early stars, but the sight of the mountain to the north was still ingrained in his mind's eye. It was only a five hour walk to Vale from here. His mask was upstairs by his bed, on top of his spare clothes; Saturos and Menardi were out in the courtyard, sparring for the first time since they'd left Prox, even after all the monsters they'd slain that day; Alex had retired upstairs muttering something about an early night, too distracted to linger in the common room. The mountain lay ahead, and they were already in its shadow.
After pushing a piece of carrot round one last circuit of the plate, Felix carried the remains of his meal over to the kitchen doorway. He smiled at the woman who came to take his plate, but she bustled off again before he could try to start a conversation.
Casting one last look around the common room in search of distraction - it was almost deserted now, just a couple of old merchants conversing in the corner - Felix decided he'd better just try to get some sleep. He was sharing a room with Alex, the second one on the left upstairs; the Proxians had claimed the third one along, and from the glimpse Felix had caught of it before dinner, they'd already pushed their two single beds together to form a double.
Felix was pleasantly surprised to find that Alex was still awake, lying in bed reading one of the books he'd bought from the innkeeper earlier. He was lying on top of most of the bed covers; ever since they'd passed south of the snowline, Alex had stopped sleeping beneath anything more than a sheet, saying the nights were far too warm. Felix had been surprised to find himself feeling the same way. He'd never entirely gotten used to the harsh weather in Prox, but now he didn't feel at home in Angara either... He'd heard that it would take a while to get acclimatised, but that wouldn't be any comfort until it happened.
"Couldn't get to sleep?" Felix asked, taking his boots off.
"I haven't yet tried." Alex didn't look up.
"Mmh." Focusing on unfastening his tunic, Felix kept quiet for a minute. Across the room, a page turned; shortly afterwards, Alex's voice broke the silence.
"Th' applause of listening senates to command,
The threats of pain and ruin to despise,
To scatter plenty o'er a smiling land
And read their history in a nation's eyes
Their lot forbade: nor circumscribed alone
Their growing virtues, but their crimes confined;
Forbade to wade through slaughter to a throne
And shut the gates of mercy on mankind."
"Huh. Dark." Felix finished undressing and walked over.
"Huh, dark? Is that the best you–" Alex sounded oddly irritated; Felix leaned over and took the book from him, trying to get a look at the cover.
"And it rhymed." The Troubadour: Selections from Angaran Verse. Felix dropped it back on the bed, curiosity satisfied, and pulled his hair free of its ponytail, raking through it with his fingers. "Do you want to-"
"Not particularly." Alex found his page again, without even glancing at him.
Trying not to say anything resentful in reply, Felix retreated to his own bed and pulled on a clean-ish nightshirt.
They'd broken camp quite early that morning; they'd had a lot of ground to cover to reach Vault before nightfall. Earlier in the day, Felix had been sure that he would be too tired for sex tonight, but now that he'd washed and eaten and recovered a bit of energy, the thought of simply falling asleep and waking up to a mask, a march, and a martyred group's mass grave...
Sprawling out over the covers, stretching out some of the nervous energy in his limbs, he tried to tell himself that nobody would die this time. The world was at stake, so they couldn't fail tomorrow. Even knowing the danger they were in, he couldn't truly bring himself to imagine the end of the world. It was inconceivable. His last-minute nerves couldn't shake his belief that Menardi and Saturos would succeed in their mission in the end, and he knew he had to help them out however he could. There was no turning back now.
Still, he'd heard a lot about the others who had made this journey three years ago. Everyone spoke highly of the dead. They'd been such powerful Adepts, such skilled warriors – so much better suited to this task than he could ever hope to be. Total failure tomorrow was inconceivable – but obstacles, danger, the loss of the weakest member of the group, eventual success, a replacement Venus Adept...? That was conceivable. Oh, gods, he had to try to stop conceiving of it... He still had friends and family in Vale, and maybe someday he could walk among them again as more than a ghost, but if he died there tomorrow, none of them would grieve, because he was already dead to them – and as Saturos had pointed out, wouldn't it be kinder to leave it that way? He had to remain dead until he could prove that his actions were justified; they wouldn't accept the evidence until he had something more to offer them. The return of the other hostages, a saved world – he had to offer his loved ones more than just himself.
Of course it had to be this way. If he couldn't show them his face, then he had to hide behind that mask. He shouldn't really be mad at Saturos for the hand-me-down, of all things. It was better than a paper bag. As if he had anything to be ashamed of... If he couldn't tell his people the truth, then he had to run away – and once he did, he was going to feel so much more alone, even though his situation wouldn't really have changed – and he didn't want to annoy Alex, but damn it, wasn't he going to pay him any attention? Sitting up, Felix stopped holding back that resentful reply. "You'll listen to me, but you won't look at me. I might as well start wearing that mask today."
"It doesn't suit you."
It took Felix a few seconds to see this as a compliment, and then he couldn't see it as anything else.
Voices and footsteps, only slightly muffled by the thin walls, sounded from the corridor as Menardi and Saturos returned from their sparring session outside. Their door opened and slammed shut, and their conversation continued loudly enough to suggest that they weren't keeping the acoustics of the building in mind. Alex sighed and set aside the anthology, finally looking in Felix's direction. "Shall we play cards?"
"I guess so. Ca-teth?" Felix suggested, going to fetch the pack. Alex nodded and wrapped his sheet round his waist before moving to sit on the rug between the beds; Felix joined him there, shuffling the cards before splitting them into six piles, setting up the Proxian game.
"This is it," Menardi laughed, grinning uncontrollably though a sheen of sweat as the two of them stripped each other of their armour. "Time to burn high, time to lay them low..."
"This is it," Saturos echoed, thoroughly warmed up by the exercise. He had no intention of giving his body time to cool down. "Finally."
"You're in good form, you know."
"You too. It will never be enough, but..."
"... it will be enough for this," Menardi finished, willing to admit that their training had paid off now that they were finally here again, taking action. Pulling her partner close, she slipped off his damp headband and licked him from the tip of his nose to his hairline, savouring the salty, slick warmth. Hard work, sweat and tears – it leaves you stronger. So much stronger...
Weyard was too far gone for third chances. The two of them had been given permission to fight to the death this time. They wouldn't have it any other way. There wasn't the slightest chance that they would once again end up honour-bound to retreat like cowards in the face of insurmountable disaster. They would not be left grieving again; there was nothing left to fear. The worst that could happen had already happened – emotionally, at least, if not technically, and what did technicalities matter? Only success or oblivion lay ahead. There was no longer any space for second-guessing or any excuse for holding back. They were free of all ties to other duties or laws, free to disregard consequences of less consequence, free to power on through absolutely anything. That freedom was exhilarating, borne of an indelible purity of purpose. And there were few better ways of riding out a good euphoria than fighting and sex, in their not-so-humble opinions.
Saturos dipped his head to lick along Menardi's collarbone, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him in the direction of the bed. They fell more or less gracefully onto the covers, and he lifted himself up onto his elbows, creating enough space between them for her to lean up and nuzzle at his neck before he slid down to continue kissing his way along her chest. Skin prickling with heat from his attentions, she reached out and trailed her fingers along his stomach and down between his legs, where she focused her attention, drawing a deep moan from his throat.
Menardi rolled them over, rubbing against his thigh as she kissed him, revelling in the warmth as his fingers dug into her back. When she surfaced for air, her gaze fell on the supplies sitting on the bedside table.
"Do you think we really need all those bandages?"
Saturos followed her gaze, focusing on the thick roll of linen. "What do you have in mind?"
Menardi grabbed the bandages with Psynergy and caught them in her hands, then unwound a length, holding it up expectantly. "Hands."
Saturos complied, mostly because that sounded hot, and partly because Menardi tended to express her disappointment through a few minutes of teasing if he turned down her suggestions in bed. He was already painfully hard; he'd have gone along with anything short of murder. Maybe even that. They scrambled to the top of the mattress, sheets rumpling in their wake, and Menardi bound his wrists to the headboard, then sliced off the remainder of the roll with a flicker of flame and tossed it to one side.
She leaned down to kiss him, and he arched up, already feeling his arms straining as he tried to deepen the contact. There was nothing he could do but groan as she knelt back and guided the head of his cock inside her, then sank down around him, taking it all in; he never got tired of hearing that first gasp, the sound she would make whenever he filled her, sating a need that had too long gone unmet, even before the friction built up between them and deepened her moans. She bounced a little, her hands exploring his chest, before finding a good angle and moving more urgently, rocking the bed beneath them. He bucked his hips with each rise, hypnotised by the bounce and sway of her breasts, only truly wishing for the use of his hands when her hair fell across her chest – though as soon as she caught his gaze, she grinned and tossed her hair back behind her shoulders, leaving him with no complaints.
"Should we complain?" Felix asked, trying to ignore the thudding and groaning from the neighbouring room as he drew another card.
"Do as you wish." Alex didn't seem the slightest bit put off by the racket.
"There's no way they'll listen to me," Felix back-pedalled, unable to seriously imagine confronting those two. "Four of pentacles."
"Isn't there?" Alex asked, sounding quite disinterested. He drew from the Sol deck, and glanced at his hand before laying down a card on the fifth tower. "Three of blades."
"We could go downstairs and get a drink," Felix suggested. It would be annoying to have to get dressed again, and he was tired, and he wouldn't know how long he'd have to wait before heading back upstairs, and it was irritating to think that the Proxians would never even realise they'd kicked him out of his room, let alone apologise...
"Do as you wish." Alex smiled in a way that made Felix feel foolish for fighting himself over his own decisions.
"Right." Felix sighed, and resolved to hold his ground. He looked his companion over and bit his lip, knowing it wouldn't do much good to repeat a suggestion that had already been shot down. Listening to those bastards getting laid wouldn't feel nearly as insulting if he weren't expected to go without, on what might be his last night on Weyard. "Are you sure - "
"Draw a card..."
Menardi drew a heated moan from Saturos by dragging her nails along his skin as she clenched around him. His fingers twitched as he twisted beneath her, his feet finding enough purchase on the covers to let his frame interfere with the rise and fall of her rhythm. She laughed and leaned down to kiss him deeply, feeling him gradually sink back into the mattress as she robbed him of air. Unwilling now to lose the warmth of his whole body against hers, she tangled one hand in his hair and snaked the other round his back, holding herself close to him, rocking and melting against him until she felt the sensation take her over and wrap her whole mind around one name...
He was still hard when she got her breath back, and she blessed her partner's stamina as she pushed herself upright.
"Are you close?" She checked, rubbing her fingertips against the base of his cock.
"You know it."
"Mmh, I do..."
"Is it hot in here? It's getting hot in here," Felix laughed, well aware that his voice sounded off. Those two had started up again just when he'd thought it was over...
Alex pulled over his bag, fished out a pair of wooden cups, set them on the floor by the cards, and filled them to the brim with water.
"Thanks," Felix muttered, taking one and raising it to his lips. The water was almost icy; it chilled his mouth and throat as he drank. He wondered whether Alex would make him enough for a shower if he asked.
"Try to calm down. You will need your sleep tonight," Alex advised.
"I know."
Felix laid the ace of chalices on the first tower, letting his eyes linger on Alex's throat as he took a measured sip of his own drink. Saturos grunted again, and Felix flinched and looked away, trying to slow his breathing back down.
Alex set his hand down beside the first tower. "I have a full flight. Kill the vermin."
Felix sighed and shuffled that pile into the Luna deck, then dealt him a new hand. "I'll get a quartet soon enough..."
"Try for an octet."
"You're doing that well?"
"Always aim higher."
Saturos cried out her name as he came, and she hummed in satisfaction, flopping down to kiss his neck as he rode it out. She felt his pulse beating hard beneath her tongue, and she started to suck and bite lightly at his skin, though she held back from doing anything that would leave a mark; his armour didn't cover much of his neck, and it might prove harder to intimidate the Valeans tomorrow if they showed up covered in hickeys. (Alex would probably heal them if they asked, but she was not planning on having that conversation.)
She let him slip out, then dipped a couple of fingers inside herself to coat them in his seed, letting the side of her hand rub against her clit for a minute while she watched him gasp for air. Before he was too thoroughly recovered, she slid her fingers into his mouth and smeared their juices over his tongue; he coughed a little, and she leaned her weight on his chest. When he met her gaze, his eyes questioning and full of something unreadable, she let her grin widen, then kissed him again, pulling his head back by his hair and delving in as deeply as she could reach, feeling him yield to her every movement.
It wasn't too long before she felt him reciprocating with a little more energy, and hardening again beneath her.
"Another round?"
"Mmmm..."
"You'd better have these back..."
Menardi slid a finger beneath his bindings and burned through the fabric, freeing his wrists.
Saturos grabbed the roll of bandages as he sat up, then took hold of her left hand with his right and started winding a stretch of it around their wrists. She squeezed his hand, wondering how this sort of restraint would feel in the throes of passion. If it would help center her mind on his movements, his weight and warmth, each time it made its presence felt... Excited already, she let him push her down into blankets and bind her right hand to the headboard, with a bit of fumbling. Maybe he should've done that one first...
His movements regained their surety as he slipped his free hand beneath her hips and slid back inside her, kissing her breasts and pinning her left arm firmly against the pillows. She wrapped her legs round him, feeling the sensations overtake her; if his enthusiasm was anything to go by, he'd definitely been looking forward to taking his turn at ravaging her.
"Again? Where do they get the energy?" Felix muttered.
"Who knows?" Alex shrugged.
"For fuck's sake..." Felix stared at the cards in his hard. If anything, the Proxians had gotten louder. "…Whose turn is it again?"
"Yours."
"I don't suppose you're going to warn them that they'll need their sleep tonight?"
"As if they would let anyone call their stamina into question." Alex smiled, looking irritatingly amused by his suggestion. "Perhaps this will better prepare them for the challenges that lie ahead."
"And you don't want to prepare?" Felix hoped the question would come out sounding seductive, rather than betraying his annoyance.
"Oh, I am ready. I am more than ready. Tomorrow cannot come quickly enough." Alex sounded quite emphatic, though his gaze was distant.
It took Felix a few seconds to realize that he was completely serious.
Of course he'd known the mission was on everyone's mind... Yet suddenly, Felix found himself contemplating the possibility that Alex's sleeplessness was down to anticipation, not trepidation. Were Saturos and Menardi's prolonged antics more a matter of enthusiasm than nerves?
"Am I the only one not looking forward to walking into a death trap?"
"Sol Sanctum will yield its secrets this time." Alex gave him another amused smile.
"That's the plan..." Felix muttered. He could hardly disagree. "Still... you're not interested in helping me prepare, either?"
"You do not have their stamina."
Felix stared intently at his cards, wondering darkly how Alex could say that with such certainty. They'd never said anything about being exclusive, but he'd never seen or heard anything to make him think that Alex was looking for anyone besides him, much less that he'd hooked up with those two. Of course, one didn't need to sleep with Prox's best warriors to guess that they were in better shape than some lanky kid...
"None of us are going to get any sleep at this rate." Felix tried to change the subject, hoping he didn't sound as mortified as he felt.
"I doubt they will last much longer. Calm down and wait it out." Alex sounded almost exasperated. "It is still your turn."
Felix threw down his cards, blinking hard to keep from crying, because fuck, no, that wasn't going to happen.
"Look, I know I'm going to need my strength tomorrow. Everything's riding on the outcome. We've got to be ready. I know that. And maybe I'm not as prepared as the rest of you. I've tried to train, you know I've tried... If you don't think it's a good idea, then fine, you needn't do anything for me, but you could still let me do something for you tonight. If I can make you happy, that'd be enough. I won't even do anything for myself, if you don't think it's a good idea, so long as we share a bed. Don't you think I'll be up half the night with worry otherwise, without s-someone to...?"
Felix choked down the rest of that question, closing his eyes for a moment to try to get himself under control. When he dared look up again, Alex was regarding him with a considering stare. Felix wished he could tell what he was considering. Maybe he was thinking of taking him up on his offer... Or maybe he was thinking of turfing him out and suggesting he get a room to himself. Felix wished he could explain away anything that had come out wrong, but he was truly scared to think what would happen if he put his foot even further in his mouth with anything along the lines of 'I promise I won't jump you in your sleep if you say no'. Gods damn it...
"Why?" Alex eventually asked, in a voice as neutral and considering as his expression.
"Why...? Because I might die tomorrow! Any of us could die. There's so much that could go wrong. I'm going to be a stranger among my own people either way. If tonight is nothing more than the calm before another storm, if fate is going to sweep us away again, then this might be my last chance to mean something to someone, my last chance to make someone happy. I'd rather be with you than count down the hours playing cards or – "
"You will not die tomorrow." Alex stated this as if it was self-evident.
"How can you be so sure?"
"When they challenged Sol Sanctum three years ago, they did not have me."
Felix blinked; it sounded as though this, too, was meant to be an answer in itself. "Oh? And so...?"
"Would you trust Menardi or Saturos to lead you through a labyrinth or disarm a trap?"
"I guess so. I mean, that's what we're doing... Isn't it?"
"I wouldn't. Trust me, their failure says absolutely nothing about our chances this time around." Alex gave him an encouraging smile. "Provided they listen to me."
"Oh." Felix cast around for a less inarticulate answer. "Well, a better chance is still just a chance..."
"If anything does go wrong, I will warp you out of harm's way."
"Right. Along with the others."
"If I can reach them."
"But you'll definitely be able to reach me?"
"I will keep a close eye on you." Alex smiled and stroked Felix's wrist.
Felix got the impression this was meant to dispel all his fears.
"Are you still worried?" Alex asked. "What about this? Sleep as well as you can manage tonight, and once tomorrow is out of the way, I will do whatever you want every night for the next week."
"Seriously?"
"Does that give you something to look forward to?"
"Y-yes, of course..."
Alex nodded in satisfaction, and let go of his wrist. "I believe it is still your turn."
Felix picked up his cards. He'd almost rather call it quits and go get a drink, but he couldn't very well stand up without betraying his body's impatience for the week ahead.
"Four - " Felix was interrupted by a particularly loud "Oh fuck yes there" from the other room. Once the noise died down to the usual moans and screams, he gave it another shot. "Four of hearts, I guess..."
Alex drew a card and picked up his drink; it took him a few seconds to notice that the cup was empty. As he set it down to refill it, Felix wondered whether he should ask him to put on a nightshirt just this once. The sheet covered up his legs well enough, but if he didn't grab a shirt too, it was going to be hard to fall straight asleep, as they'd agreed. Maybe he should just stop staring...
As Alex raised his drink to his lips, Menardi screamed "Motherfucker can't you fuck me any harder, I thought you were a man, mmhh-!"
Felix slowly raised his gaze from the floor. Alex's hand must have shaken; a few drops of water had splashed onto his leg.
When he finally met his gaze, Alex stared at him with an intensity that sent shivers down his spine. "That's it. We're drowning them out."
"What?" Felix thought at first, for a few long seconds, that he meant to literally drown the occupants of the other room, and a choking darkness flashed through his mind as his chest tightened in panic, caught up in the memory... Alex calmly held his gaze until it faded, and he realised what he'd meant.
"That was poorly worded. I apologise."
"Don't worry about it," Felix muttered. He wasn't sure whether the heat rushing to his face owed more to the embarrassment of flashing back to the storm at this precise stage of the night, or to the thought of how loud they'd have to be to drown out the others in terms of noise, but he definitely wanted to focus on the latter.
"Do you still want to...?"
"Yes! I mean, as long as you mean... sex, right?"
"Is there another way to make you moan?" Alex asked, his voice rich with warm amusement.
Felix couldn't help but imagine several other methods which wouldn't be half as pleasant.
"Yes, I mean sex," Alex added, after catching the look on his face.
Felix leaned in and kissed him at that point, forestalling any further complications.
Alex stroked his hair, then wrapped an arm round his waist and guided him to the bed. As Felix sat back and lifted his nightshirt over his head, Alex kissed his way down his chest and stomach, wrapping his hand round his length and starting to provide him with a little relief. Felix let out a breath that was half a sob, and slid his hands down his back, trying to secure as much warmth and contact as possible.
"Perhaps you were right..." Alex muttered softly.
Felix almost asked what he meant by that – "Right about what? Knowing what I need?" – but then Alex's mouth was on him, and there was no fucking way he was going to risk saying anything to mess this up now that it was finally happening.
Saturos lifted his hand from her mouth as he reached his release, and she hit her peak along with him, too far gone to string together a coherent thought, let alone a coherent sentence.
He crashed out on top of her, and they rested together for a while in mutual oblivion. When she tried to wrap her arms around him, her bindings brought her back to reality with a slight jolt. She let a burst of flame dance around one wrist, freeing it from the headboard. Her other hand could stay bound to his for a while longer. She tried to settle down again, but the background noise picked that moment to kick up a notch.
"What do they think they're doing at this hour?" Saturos grumbled.
"I don't think we have any right to complain," Menardi replied. Had the walls always been that thin?
"Of course we do. It's getting late." Saturos thumped the wall, but didn't get much of a reaction.
"If it goes on much longer, I'll smoke them out," Menardi offered.
"That's my girl." Saturos pulled her in for a goodnight kiss, then buried himself in the blankets and stuffed his pillow over his head.