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Kageyama Tobio never had a happy life. His parents never home–he hasn’t heard from them in years. His grandfather is ill in the hospital and his sister left him for college. He feels so fucking lonely.
The one thing he loved, volleybal. Now he can’t even step on the court without being reminded of–
“Tobio-chan, are you feeling alright?” Kageyama flinches away, swinging wide to find the source of the voice.
“Oikawa-san.” His breathing shallows.
Stay calm, c’mon. Have to. Stay. Calm–
He froze.
Concern takes over Oikawa’s face, “Hey, you can skip this practice if you’re feeling ill. Do you need help going to the nurse?”
There’s multiple eyes around them now. He hates it. Hates it all. He can’t brea–
Oikawa’s hands are around his shoulders.
He’s shaking.
“Hey,” his voice stern, “Breathe.”
What–
“Breathe in”
…
“Breathe out”
Kageyama can feel the drowsiness taking over
“Breathe in”
“Breathe out”
There’s a long pause as he seeps into darkness.
—
He wakes up in the clinic. Looking around, he spots *him*.
Oikawa must have noticed Kageyama hiccup against the wall.
There’s a set of predatory eyes on him.
He looks around to escape.
Oikawa lets out a sigh, “Listen, Tobio-chan–”
Kageyama flinches with the name.
“You’re going to have to get over this stupid nonsense unless you want everyone to find out how much of a disgusting whore you are.”
Oikawa opens his phone to show him pictures.
Kageyama, cum dripping out of his mouth.
Kageyama, stuffed on his fours.
Kageyama, on the ground in a mess.
Kageyama–
Kageyama’s terrified. Yet he can’t take his eyes off his senpai’s phone.
“P-Please,” *huff* “No–” *huff* “Why–”
Oikawa internally rolls his eyes as he puts his phone away.
“It’s not hard, To-bi-o, just keep cool so people won’t suspect. At least if you’re going to be all finicky about it, don’t make it obvious around me. Idiot.”
All Kageyama can do is look down as he tries to subdue his trembling.
“Anyways, we’re already late for the first period, make sure to look presentable before you head to class.”
With that, he just left.
Kageyama is confused. Just earlier he’d calm him down with ease despite being the very cause of his breakdown.
He’s still sore around his back and he can feel the burning marks his hands left on his body.
He hates it, hates it, hates it, hates it, wishes he was dead, wishes Oikawa was gone, wishes it never happened, wishes to go back–
He’s a sobbing mess.
—
As afternoon practice comes by, people are weary around him.
The coach pulls him aside to question Kageyama but he remains unresponsive.
He debates on spilling but he’s reminded of the consequences.
What’s he supposed to say, anyways?
He gets sent home and he doesn’t complain.
Messages
Tobio: Can you come home?
Miwa: Be there in 20
It’s not the first time he had to call his sister home. He hates being alone.
Crying in the corner of his room, but the memories won’t stop bothering him.
One moment he’s in his room and the next, he’s on the floor of the gym.
It feels like forever until he hears his door unlock as Miwa approaches him with concern evident on her face.
Looking up with teary eyes, he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to.
“Sorry I’m late,” she whispers as she hugs him and Tobio melts underneath her. He just wants everything to disappear, why–
—
Oikawa is on top of him.
‘No- no, nonono stop– please I don’t want this’, he wants to scream.
“Oh? But if you don’t want this, tell me why you’re so into this?” he rubs over Tobio’s hardened junk.
He doesn’t want to feel it, he hates it he hates it he hates it he hates-
But he can’t stop a broken moan from escaping his mouth.
He feels helpless, trapped, he can’t breathe- or speak-
No, no, no, stop, no–
“To-bi-o”
“Tobio”
“Tobio”
“Tobio”
“Tobi–”
He wakes up, sobbing.
Someone’s holding him–
‘Nonono, stop–’ he thrashes–
There’s a hand over him–
He flinches violently as he tries to escape–
Nonononononono–
He’s embraced under soft arms. He hears something around him… Focussing on the voice, he makes out the words: “Tobio, it’s me, Miwa”
—
“You have to tell me what’s wrong.”
‘Who will believe you?’ rings through his head. He knows he has to tell Miwa, whether she believes him or not, but he’s scared. Everything hurts and he just wants it all to go away.
“Kageyama Tobio. You know I’ll believe anything you say.”
That’s another problem, he figures. He knows she’ll do anything to get Oikawa but he has the upperhand. One wrong move then–
He shakes off the negative thoughts. An excuse will have to do.
“I… just had a… uhm, some things… brings past memories back… just a bad day.”
It’s not exactly wrong, he thinks.
She knows it’s not true and Tobio is fully aware of that. Miwa watches him for a few more moments before giving up with a sigh.
“Alright… just, call me whenever you need me, I’ll be right here. We can go back to sleep but know that I’ll be gone by the time you wake up.
—
The team figured Oikawa was being a supportive senpai through whatever Kageyama was going through.
‘If only they knew.’
Kageyama tries to avoid him the best he can but he just won’t go away. They haven’t spoken about… since the clinic. It makes him even more anxious but he’s too afraid to confront his senpai about it.
It almost feels like Oikawa is waiting for the right opportunity.
He hates it all.
But he doesn’t have a choice.
He’s considered ending his life. It wasn’t the first time he’s thought about it, anyways. There’s a deep hole in him, he thinks. Draining his life and demanding more as it grows and grows and grows–
Messages
Miwa: Tobio. Come to the hospital. Now.
Concern and dread swallows him up.
He forces his thoughts away as he grabs a coat to leave.
Tobio: Be there in 20.
—
He doesn’t understand. He can’t process anything. So he won’t.
Miwa’s crying, holding him close, and he doesn’t know what to do.
He just stands there, eyes wide open yet not holding any emotion. Thoughts running faster than ever yet head empty.
Miwa always stood up for him, she’s always been his hero and she’s now crumbling down–
He’s also breaking down but tears won’t form. He shakes as he hugs his sister back but it all feels so wrong–
‘You should have never existed.’ a voice rings in his head.
‘Just go ahead and kill yourself, for fucks sake’
‘I hate you, Tobio-chan, so much.’
‘Everyone’s going to find out how much of a whore you are.’
‘Tobio, I’m disappointed. I thought you would do better’
‘Grandpa. He’s not here anymore.’
And it all crashes down on him.